Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 93
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn upPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
A player might have no better options at the moment or he sees this as a challenge. That's why he may wait until the 3rd or 4th date for sex. Having said that, it certainly doesn't always mean a man in this situation is a player. For example, the quote below may have applied to him.



He may not have been emotionally available for a relationship. He could have unresolved issues from past relationships and/or he still has feelings for a former girlfriend.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 94
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up
Posted: 6/12/2016 6:22:20 PM
Others on other threads have said they'd date 4's and 5's for dating practice using Viagra and/or booze until a 7 or higher entered the picture.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up
Posted: 6/12/2016 9:09:09 PM

A player might have no better options at the moment or he sees this as a challenge.

Well, not in the context of two people hitting it off. He could faux do this for a date or two, but hitting it off isn't just on the date but fruitfulness between them, too. For a majority of players, it's about Not having to do all that to get some action. It's about getting action before a date would be had, or laying up by going out on a 1st date to get laid... and maybe a 2nd or sometimes a 3rd. A player's goal isn't to trick/manipulate women in any way -- it's to get action by the most effective/quickest means necessary (until they meet someone worthy of actually Dating). It might sometimes include tricking/manipulating women to maximize his chances -- but it's certainly not required when it comes to players' narrow time-window... as when a guy or gal is going to put-out real darn quick, they had their own thumb under their waistband really early on.

I understand what you're saying about seeing it as a challenge -- but IMO, going the route where it's Not actually really fast -- but instead investing a lot into it thru 4+ dates and fruitfulness in-between that time between the two of them where it's hitting it off in a great way for 2-3 weeks, I would see him not really being a player, but more of a psychopath who's into manipulating others (and the pleasures during sex just a bonus).

But, going out on 4 mere dates -- and not much communication in-between -- and them being casual going-out-having-some-drinks-during-the-week dates in a short time span... yeah, I could see a player doing that ... as that is where it'd be seen as "too physical, too soon", due to lack of substance throughout and in a short-time frame... as opposed to truly hitting it off and spending a lot of time & communication together thru 4 very fruitful solid Dates.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 96
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up
Posted: 6/13/2016 7:09:24 AM

LittleGirl... btw. I had sex with a man the first day I met him and we were married for 10 years. It probably wasn't about the sex. This guy might have been a flying monkey. You don't know. It sometimes doesn't work out if you have sex too soon and sometimes it does. Let it go. You are letting this guy rent space in your head and you are homeless.


Be careful. On the "How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?" thread, some people ( not me ) would have labeled you as a "promiscuous slut" for having sex that quickly. LOL.


But, going out on 4 mere dates -- and not much communication in-between -- and them being casual going-out-having-some-drinks-during-the-week dates in a short time span... yeah, I could see a player doing that ... as that is where it'd be seen as "too physical, too soon", due to lack of substance throughout and in a short-time frame... as opposed to truly hitting it off and spending a lot of time & communication together thru 4 very fruitful solid Dates.


I don't necessarily disagree with you. Just saying there are possible situations when I can see a player waiting 3-4 dates for sex.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up
Posted: 6/16/2016 8:21:52 PM
yes south city. I was perhaps being a slut but that is one of the reasons my husband loved me so much.. :) I was a good slut.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up
Posted: 6/19/2016 11:48:28 AM

I don't necessarily disagree with you. Just saying there are possible situations when I can see a player waiting 3-4 dates for sex.

In the end, I see someone not being a player if they go past the 3-date-marker (on actual dates). I mean, given certain circumstances and such, sure, it can be the case as an off-beat exception due to it. So for all practical purposes, if he's going out on a 4th date with the gal who all he's gotten was a few parking-lot kisses, he's not acting out as a player... and if he is one, he's not being one in that instance, as there's something more that he wants if one's to put any money on it.

Much like having sex on the 1st date and ending up being BF/GF -- yet calling the girl a 'slut'. She wasn't being a slut by following that up with going steady & becoming BF/GF... so IMO, it'd be safe to assume that if it's 4 full-fledged dates he's going on, he has some Real interest if he's otherwise a player or could be one (where one is driven to pork a girl before a 1st date, after a 1st date, or after a 2nd).
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dumped after having sex on 4th date - am completely torn up