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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do most men consider women who are on pof to be "damaged goods"?      Home login  
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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 76
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?Page 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

Men who accept the pvssy just because it's offered to them (even though they have no intention of ever dating the woman) are undesirables too.


Not necessarily. That's fine if both people were just looking for casual sex. But if a man lied about his intentions and pretended to be interested in serious relationship in order to get sex, then he is a jerk.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 77
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/22/2016 8:28:36 AM

Everyone on this planet is damaged goods


Correct. Everyone has problems, issues, and the like. However, I think if you have major issues you never even faced--you're the type of damaged goods, someone is to avoid. I.E An alcoholic, who gets upset at someone telling them they have a problem. Clearly, they are nowhere near ready for help, as they need to realize they need help, first.

You know, vs an alcoholic who has been to rehab, and has been clean for years. Someone who had "damage", but did something about it. The damage is still there. You're an addict for life. They're just not bringing you into their mess.

Everyone has baggage. However, you weighing your partner down with yours, is a choice (I.E You having tons of ex drama, and dragging a significant other into it--vs making sure the drama is mitigated, prior to).

You should be able to handle your own baggage, and accept the baggage your partner brings to your relationship.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 78
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/22/2016 5:37:36 PM
there's an old joke that old sports cars don't have problems, they have "personality". Pretty people don't have flaws, they have quirks. Crazy people with money are "eccentric".
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 79
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Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/22/2016 6:40:17 PM

there's an old joke that old sports cars don't have problems, they have "personality".


Personality only goes so far at Midnight & You have Lighting provided by.....

Lucas the Prince of Darkness.........
 readytoworkatit
Joined: 5/12/2016
Msg: 80
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/22/2016 7:12:10 PM
Thank you for the laugh LiliMarleen!! LOVED THIS!! LOL
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 81
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/22/2016 9:53:35 PM
I sure hope these women you are calling sluts had more sexual partners than you, otherwise that just makes you a hypocritical wanker.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 82
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/23/2016 4:57:50 AM
I don't know that most men consider them damaged goods but they are. Looking at it objectively, most are divorced. That means that they have already betrayed a man and have proven that their solemn word is no good. Many of the remaining single ones are unwed mothers. I wouldn't call that a character failing but she being burdened with a kid is more cumbersome than she would be otherwise. As to the single non breeders, with so many eager men about, there must be a reason she resorts to online dating. There are many... all of them bad.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 83
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/23/2016 7:43:08 AM
my kids are grown and successful. I am widowed. I count my blessings and my bank accounts. But I do feel for single young moms raising children with no Dad in sight. It takes a village to raise a child.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 84
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Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/23/2016 8:53:00 PM
south city said
But if a man lied about his intentions and pretended to be interested in serious relationship in order to get sex, then he is a jerk.


There are a lot of jerks. Not a big surprise. Isn't ok to lie to get laid?
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 85
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/23/2016 10:00:31 PM
Where's the OP? I reckon this is a troll thread. JMO
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 86
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/24/2016 9:37:56 AM
where's the OP? likely busy chasing all those damaged goods :)

"Personality only goes so far at Midnight"


>>>I think I've been in a bar like this...

"Lucas the Prince of Darkness........."

>>>yeah, its funny the British cars leave the cruise nights early, before the sun sets. Like reverse vampires. A friend who has a TR3 insists its not the wiring on British cars that is at fault, its the ground on the switches...but Brit cars had a lot of quality control that was...neither quality nor under control. still, they had a sports car Chevrolet decided to copy in fiberglass and there is that XKE/E-type to make up for all other sins...that thing is a voluptuous female on four wheels.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 87
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Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/24/2016 11:08:24 AM
jjay0216 msg 1:

Perhaps you are right I am a damaged goods, I have been here for a long time and I am still here until now, 2016,
Well I don't care. because my dates will bring a tool box and repair kit to fix me, The only matter to me is my brain inside my head and my pea brain betweem my legs is not damaged.. Duh ....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 88
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Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/25/2016 12:42:08 AM
If men don't like women very much, yes they consider them damages goods. Too much rejection, gets turned into - it's the opposite sex fault (gender neutral - women do it too).

Life +'s wisdom. If someone wants to equate wisdom to damage, good luck with that theory.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 89
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:36:13 AM

Life +'s wisdom. If someone wants to equate wisdom to damage, good luck with that theory.


Many people do, especially the most severely damaged. People who are habitually nasty, combative and uncooperative like to call their noxious behaviour wisdom. I don't know how it got that way. Maybe it started by people calling negative and ironic comments wisecracks? Whatever the case, wisdom, in it's modern form, appears to be something that one should avoid.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 90
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 8:44:28 AM
I think there's a trend that being contrarian is cool. I remember in high school, people who thought they were educated would argue that Vietnam would have been winnable. That Texas actually wasn't a state at all. And now we have that vaccines always cause autism.

i'm sure the internet helps in the spread of contrarian "wisdumb".
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 91
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 10:55:19 AM
Actually, all of us are damaged. We were born that way. A crack running up the backside.
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 92
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 11:44:41 AM

That's fine if both people were just looking for casual sex. But if a man lied about his intentions and pretended to be interested in serious relationship in order to get sex, then he is a jerk.


Which is the case a lot of times - Both parties aren't on the same page when it comes to casual sex which leads to confusion and/or hurt feelings. Or they were on the same page at the beginning but as the situationship went on, one party begins to feel more than the other. I've seen it time and time again. Either way, it's undesirable behavior. If I were single, I wouldn't engage with any man who had a history of meaningless, casual flings or who accepted any piece of **** that was offered to him, even if she was hot.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 93
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:01:32 PM

That's fine if both people were just looking for casual sex. But if a man lied about his intentions and pretended to be interested in serious relationship in order to get sex, then he is a jerk.


This is BS. What is the reason a woman is agreeing to have sex? Is it to reward a guy for a potential LTR? Is she using her vagina as a prize? Maybe a guy is looking for serious relationship, but when a woman starts playing childish games, where the guy is expected to perform tricks and jump through hoops for the prize of the golden vagina, that will kill any potential that was there before. Is it a case of a woman screaming from the mountain top "I'm a victim!!!" if sex doesn't lead to a ring and wedding plans? Most guys will bail on someone like that.

I would only get in a relationship if a woman views sex as something enjoyable for both of us, instead of as a tool to control a guy, and not feel victimized by having sex-even if it doesn't last until the death-do-us-part bit. If a woman has a hang-up about sex, it's not my problem to fix her, and she can go share her problems with someone else-preferably a shrink or therapist.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 94
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:21:23 PM


If I were single, I wouldn't engage with any man who had a history of meaningless, casual flings or who accepted any piece of a$$ that was offered to him, even if she was hot.


You've mentioned this before. The 'undesirable men' that accept sex when ever it is offered to them.

I wouldn't date a dumba$$ that revealed that to me, no matter how hawt she was (that she had a history of flings and accepted any peni$ that was offered).

I would expect them to lie as well if I asked, so I don't.

So, please enlighten us how you identify a man that has a history of flings or accepts sex that is offered to him?

When is a decent guy allowed to accept sex? Or is he supposed to play hard to get?
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 95
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:55:58 PM

So, please enlighten us how you identify a man that has a history of flings or accepts sex that is offered to him?

When is a decent guy allowed to accept sex? Or is he supposed to play hard to get?


I paid attention to the people I dated and would not jump into bed with any man until I got to know him a while. I'm a very perceptive person and was not easily swayed by what men said, but more about how they treated me with their actions and behavior. I could spot a poonhound or f***boy from a mile away. Most of them weren't as slick as they thought they were (with me, anyway).

I preferred men who had sex with a woman they were actually dating or in a relationship with. I understand having a few flings in between relationships. I've had a few myself and I'm not going to hold someone else to higher standard than I hold myself. However, if most of their sexual history consisted on FWBs, FBs, ONS nonsense, then I'd steer clear. I could typically tell if they were that type by what I mentioned in my first paragraph.

Back in 2012, a co-worker told me that a woman wanted to come over to his house after their first date to "cuddle". He refused and ended contact with her. He later told me her request was a turn off despite her being attractive and the first date going well. When he first told me, I took that story with a grain of salt. After dating him for 6-8 weeks (which was how long it took for us to have sex for the first time), I could tell that he was relationship-minded and LTR-material so I'm more inclined to believe that story. He never pressured me into having sex and was willing to wait so the story definitely aligned with his behavior. A few years before dating me, he did have a threesome in Amsterdam so he was no angel, lol.

I like balance. I wasn't going to date a guy who was saving himself for marriage but I didn't want someone who was so cavalier about sex either.
 TheRebelYell
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 96
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 6:53:50 PM
I highly doubt that anyone can tell a guy/gals sexual history and how many FB's, FWB's or ONS they have unless they told you. And who asks? I've never asked. I've never been asked. And even if asked, how many tell the truth? How many would answer, I know I wouldn't answer if asked. Sounds like a little slut/stud shaming going on here.

As for damaged, most have been hurt in some way or another. It's how you heal and move on. Some will continue to blame ALL men (or women) for the sins of whoever hurt them and IMO, this person is still hurting, maybe still damaged.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 97
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/25/2016 10:49:23 PM

I highly doubt that anyone can tell a guy/gals sexual history and how many FB's, FWB's or ONS they have unless they told you. And who asks? I've never asked. I've never been asked. And even if asked, how many tell the truth? How many would answer, I know I wouldn't answer if asked. Sounds like a little slut/stud shaming going on here.


I don't ask, I just listen. People tell me the most amazing things that really go under the way TMI tab.
And I haven't been on a date in... *counting, losing count*... years.
 TheRebelYell
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 98
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/26/2016 5:25:46 AM
".....just listen." Maybe it's an age thing. I expect someone over 50 to have a history of some sort - a marriage, maybe a second marriage. I don't expect them to be a virgin. And I expect that since their divorce and meeting me, they have met a handful of others. No one has told my over dessert and wine that "I've slept with 8 guys and currently have a FWB thing happening ". Like I said, maybe it's the age group.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 99
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/26/2016 8:41:43 AM
^^^
Exactly.

I actually don't mind if she asks when my last relationship was and why it ended, and I'll return the question as well.

Discussing exclusivity and monogamy is ok too, but not within the first 20 minutes of meeting, lol.

We're supposed to share a laugh first :)

Anything other then that? Feels like an interview.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 100
it does take one, to recognize one
Posted: 5/26/2016 9:27:22 AM
"I don't ask, I just listen. People tell me the most amazing things that really go under the way TMI tab"

>>>if you're the type of person who keeps the ego quiet, listens well and doesn't spend the time thinking of the next thing to say...you'll see yourself in that sentence. People love to talk about themselves, its finding someone to listen that's the problem. some people with issues are ready to share, b/c they want your attention. and wanting attention is usually how they did those things that are issues. no coincidence there. or you might listen to a person tell their stories, leave out details, and you get that sneaky suspicion that their self respect could be a lot higher. they don't wear it on their sleeve, but boy, their impulse control really sucks. they don't look before they leap.

some people see that, and think, "wow, a risk taker! not afraid of anything! that's a good thing." and others think, "boy, didn't bother to worry about the ramifications, huh? not someone I want to trust to not bring home an STD, thanks. we'll remain friends".
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