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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do most men consider women who are on pof to be "damaged goods"?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 176
all lines are blurredPage 8 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)



raisedagain



Yes, this is a very common problem in the dating world.


Sounds like you could benefit from using Google.



You just never know when your girlfriend was a "street walker" in an earlier life. LOL.


You're right, those who don't learn anything about the past of whoever they are dating will never know. Definitely something that can give someone (outside of that relationship) a good laugh. :-)

Someone found a partial solution to the street-walker-in-dating-sites problem.... see the link below.


Ouija2025



I bet after the number Q comes
" but I'm the best, right?"


To such a question, I think the woman should reply something along the lines of... "in the last 12 hours" ... (which may even be true depending on how rapidly her number goes up... LOL)



On a related, yet separate note...

Now there is a website where people can bid for a date. "Surprisingly", usually males bidding for females.

http://gawker.com/5789538/new-dating-site-is-indistinguishable-from-prostitution
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 177
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/6/2016 7:17:21 PM
no one says street walkers
sheesh
Some ppl really need to move into idk
1996
 raisedagain
Joined: 6/2/2016
Msg: 178
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/7/2016 5:20:13 AM
"You're right, those who don't learn anything about the past of whoever they are dating will never know. Definitely something that can give someone (outside of that relationship) a good laugh. :-)"

Yes, most normal and decent people always study the history of their friend's female partners to ensure certain minimal standards of acceptability to their standards have been met. AND at the top of the list is to check out the street walking registry.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 179
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/7/2016 6:12:44 AM

no one says street walkers
sheesh
Some ppl really need to move into idk
1996


I prefer the more updated term: "User of foot powered transportation on paved thoroughfares".
 robynl333
Joined: 5/19/2016
Msg: 180
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 6/9/2016 11:06:13 AM
so.as I skimmed this I noticed you called us sluts, gold diggers, damaged goods..etc..wow..and you wonder why you are single?? you sound charming sweet cheeks
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 181
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 6/9/2016 11:16:21 AM

He's got this dream about buying some land
He's gonna give up the booze and the one-night stands
And then he'll settle down
In some quiet little town
And forget about everything

But you know he'll always keep moving
You know he's never gonna stop moving
'Cause he's rolling, he's the rolling stone
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 182
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 6/9/2016 11:53:03 AM




from another poster in another thread

Who cares? I took a date to a party that ended up in the host's bedroom giving him a blowjob. Another time, I brought a woman to a party that ended up making out with another guy in the bathroom.


What a catch those girls are for a man.

The disingenuous fallacy in this thread is that, presumably according to some of the women in this thread, a man shouldn't be concerned with the morals and values of the woman he is considering as a partner. How dare a man do that ?.
 memtoo
Joined: 6/2/2016
Msg: 183
Do most men consider women who are on pof to be damaged goods?
Posted: 6/9/2016 12:02:32 PM


The disingenuous fallacy in this thread is that, presumably according to some of the women in this thread, a man shouldn't be concerned with the morals and values of the woman he is considering as a partner. How dare a man do that ?.


You don't get it. You are judging the person not only from their present but from their past. That is the huge difference. People grow and evolve.

Besides that, the girl who ended up giving the blowjob in that example, is hardly typical for most girls. But you don't distinguish between blatantly amoral behavior and girls who simply enjoy sex and engage in the same just for the sake of sex, just as guys do.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 184
blowing an opportunity
Posted: 6/9/2016 7:25:41 PM
"a man shouldn't be concerned with the morals and values of the woman he is considering as a partner"

>>I suspect we all choose a partner who makes us feel comfortable about our own selves, and we do so consciously or subconsciously.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 185
blowing an opportunity
Posted: 6/10/2016 10:25:43 AM



memtoo



You are judging the person not only from their present but from their past.
....
the girl who ended up giving the blowjob in that example, is hardly typical for most girls.


Fortunately for these "atypical" girls there are guys who don't care about their past.



gtomustang



who makes us feel comfortable about our own selves, and we do so consciously or subconsciously.


I agree that is what, consciously or subconciously, usually happens. Personally, I like to be conscious of it.
 missrightright
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 186
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 3:48:52 PM

If a woman chooses to behave like a slut then, she is a slut. It's not shaming, it's a fact and, it is a fact because she chose to behave that way. She will be "itch scratching" material to most men because that's what she chose to be. If she doesn't like slut shaming then, the solution is simple, don't be a slut.


Easy peasy. No such thing as a "slut".


That determination will vary from one man to another.


Oh, I see it's one those words that MEN make up for the express purpose of sitting in judgment of women. I shall duly disregard.


There is no unique answer to that.


Because it's like Sasquatch. Made up.


I was having dinner with a married couple friends of mine.... in the conversation, the woman stated that when she was in college, she routinely had sex with one guy at lunch and another guy in the evening. I had and, never have seen again, an expression of greater disappointment than the one I saw in her husband's face after she said that. The rest of the evening proceeded uneventfully but, it was obvious his disappointment remained.


Never seen greater disappointment ? You must lead a charmed life, indeed. I can think of millions of things that are far, far worse.

Besides, maybe he was disappointed that he missed out on the young, fun, swinging times with her. Ever think of that?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 187
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 3:57:27 PM
"Besides, maybe he was disappointed that he missed out on the young, fun, swinging times with her. Ever think of that?"

>>>>apparently, you've heard the joke, "what is the difference between a b1tch and a slut? A slut sleeps with everyone, a b1tch sleeps with everyone but you."

funny....isn't it. still, I have know young girls who would sleep with men for all the wrong reasons....according to what they cried afterward. I never got the concept of "giving it up too soon". gave what up? you didn't "share it", instead? you still own what you gave, don't you?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 188
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 4:24:12 PM
Yeah, I had a gal tell me that she shared her body with me after I told her I didn't think we were compatible 2 weeks in.

I was like, sure, but what did I share with you?
 memtoo
Joined: 6/2/2016
Msg: 189
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 4:50:57 PM
I'm sure that the husband would have been upset about how his wife blurted out her College escapades in public. It's easy to assume that they had discussed the same in private before she went public. Regardless, Mr flman seems like an anachronism from another age. He probably doesn't get that modern women today would not look kindly upon his judgmental attitude.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 190
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 5:25:17 PM
Pretty much
Darn women having sex because they enjoy it
They should, as prolly some women have.. put up with it knowing their " man is good for a minute "
- give or take 55 seconds
Pass the yams please.. excellent dinner, will we be having sex this Christmas? No, ok, always next year
 missrightright
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 191
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 6:02:23 PM

I'm sure that the husband would have been upset about how his wife blurted out her College escapades in public.


Why? Are college escapades something a woman or man should be ashamed of?


It's easy to assume that they had discussed the same in private before she went public.


One might naturally think that a married couple had a clue about whether the husband/wife had been sexually conservative or more open prior to their relationship.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 192
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 6:08:14 PM



missrightright



No such thing as a "slut".


Nice!. You waved your magic wand and, just like that, there are no more sluts. Do that again but, this time, make the national debt disappear.



I see it's one those words that MEN make up for the express purpose of sitting in judgment of women.


How dare we men want a lady instead of a slut. Unbelievable!



You must lead a charmed life, indeed.


All in all, that is true. I have no complaints.



maybe he was disappointed that he missed out on the young, fun, swinging times with her.


Of course that was the reason. No doubt about it.



One might naturally think that a married couple had a clue about whether the husband/wife had been sexually conservative or more open prior to their relationship.


How would either know if an individual's past is something a man (and presumably a woman) shouldn't take into consideration ? (apparently, that is being judgemental and quite frowned upon, based on what some are pretending in this thread.)


memtoo



It's easy to assume that they had discussed the same in private before she went public.


"Assume"... yes, I can clearly see that part. Very useful in this case.



He probably doesn't get that modern women today would not look kindly upon his judgmental attitude.


"modern women" ? ... is that what women who have sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry are called these days ?... sounds nice.
 missrightright
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 193
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 7:34:52 PM

How dare we men want a lady instead of a slut. Unbelievable!


First, "Slut" now "Lady?" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Any more socially constructed ideals a WOMAN should or should not live up to?


One might naturally think that a married couple had a clue about whether the husband/wife had been sexually conservative or more open prior to their relationship.
............
How would either know if an individual's past is something a man (and presumably a woman) shouldn't take into consideration ? (apparently, that is being judgemental and quite frowned upon, based on what some are pretending in this thread.)


Not at all. Anyone has the right to ask a potential partner any questions he/she wants.

Anyone has the right to reject a potential partner because she/he asks stupid questions.

Of course, potential partners judge each other. Two rational adults who engage in open and honest dialogue over time, and who get to know each other's friends and families, and who observe each others actions as well as their words, can learn most of what they need to know, without resorting to Spanish Inquisition tactics. It would be beyond stupid to marry a person that you did not know very, very well.

What you judge the person on is a whole other issue. There are definitely things I could learn about a man that would turn me off. His number of past partners isn't one of them. If we discuss it in a general sense, fine,but I am not going to be after him for names, numbers, or time-stamps.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 194
i'll predict in 7 days the focus of this will change
Posted: 6/10/2016 7:42:33 PM
"I'm sure that the husband would have been upset about how his wife blurted out her College escapades in public.
Why? Are college escapades something a woman or man should be ashamed of? "

>>>you know what, miss right, you asked a good question in a way....what if HE blurted out at a party, all her college escapades? i'm sure there are times where it would be a problem. as for a married couple already knowing the "Secret", yeah, that's a sign of a healthy relationship. I mean, who doesn't want to know all about their partner? and plus, there are plenty of soap operas that hinge on keeping secrets and keeping the lies going with more lies until someone forgets what lie they told.

still, for the sake of debate, I did know a lass at another forum once, she enjoyed her sex, and married a church mouse who did not. she kept her past a secret, and later one evening complained on the forum about how her husband passed judgement on "Those type of women" and she was soooo tempted to let him know his better half was one of them. Still later on (I was there for years), she did end up cheating on him. was she a leopard who didn't change her spots, or was the lack of communication and sharing a red flag that other things were wrong in the marriage? who knows, she divorced further on and soon left the site.

life is as simple as it is complicated.
 flamingjune1960
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 195
view profile
History
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 8:45:19 PM
Touche missrightright!
Gents, you do indeed have the right to ask a potential partner anything you wish and she in turn has the right to turn her pretty head and let you watch her perfect peach of an azz walk away. You want me to be a lady, then be a gentleman and don't ask me stupid questions.

I'm curious, just how many Tom,****and Harry's =slutdom? And how many bathroom blowjobs and can't-remember-her-name-fux=manwhore? Let's make a chart and see who's dirtier, shall we? If I told you how many partners I have had, you wouldn't believe me anyway so whats the point?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 196
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 8:50:55 PM
Please don't ask me their names...
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 197
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/10/2016 10:49:21 PM



missrightright



First, "Slut" now "Lady?" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


That sounds like you are Lady-shaming... fortunately, there are still ladies in this world.



Anyone has the right to reject a potential partner because she/he asks stupid questions.


I see your definition of a "stupid" question is a question you don't want to answer. Quite understandable.



Of course, potential partners judge each other.


Finally, a little honesty. Very refreshing.



... without resorting to Spanish Inquisition tactics.


Spanish Inquisition tactics ?... is that what you call asking a question ?... sounds a bit extreme.



It would be beyond stupid to marry a person that you did not know very, very well.


Amazing... we agree on something.



His number of past partners isn't one of them.


since the number of partners isn't important to you then it must not be important to him. I see how that works for you.



if we discuss it in a general sense, fine,but I am not going to be after him for names, numbers, or time-stamps.


That's a relief because I don't think there are a lot of men who could provide that level of detail. Looks like you didn't read all my posts, if you had, you would have known that I've never asked for a number, I simply figure it out. Names ?... I don't see the use for that. Time-stamps ?... I've never encountered one with a timestamp ... "Tom was here on Oct 17, 2015 at 11:30 p.m"... that would definitely be unexpected. Quite the record keeper.



flamingjune1960



You want me to be a lady, then be a gentleman and don't ask me stupid questions.


Another one whose definition of "stupid question" is a question she doesn't want to answer. That's when a gentleman gracefully excuses himself and leaves the "perfect peach of an azz" to find herself another "gentleman".



I'm curious, just how many Tom,****and Harry's =slutdom?


Establishing a cutoff is a tough one but... when a woman's vagina has more seats than a public transportation device, commonly referred to as a bus, I take a taxi.



If I told you how many partners I have had, you wouldn't believe me anyway so whats the point?


I am of the opinion that asking is far from being an effective way of figuring out what sex means to a woman.


ClooneysTutor



Please don't ask me their names...


Now, _that_ would definitely be a stupid question ;-)
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 198
Hijacked again....
Posted: 6/11/2016 6:56:09 AM
these threads make me smile


anyone over age of 18
who has ever been in a relationship for any amount of time
is 'damaged' in some way
whether they have had one partner
or twenty

they will have scars
 missrightright
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 199
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/11/2016 9:13:56 PM

Then so, because it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter to everyone?


I wasn't suggesting that at all. In fact, I think I said the opposite, that we ALL judge and are being judged by potential. Any criteria that matters to YOU is fair game. For me, a guys's sexual past isn't USUALLY an issue (apart from being STD free, obvs).

A poster suggested that men do not want "sluts"; they want "ladies". I simply suggest that there are grown-ass adults in the world of the male persuasion who don't care about a person's number.

Most of the people who cling to that old double standard are old men (exceptions, obvs, blah, blah, blah). Yes, I do think that's a stupid thing to get all agitated about, but I completely understand that it is a priority for some folks.


I've been asked for numbers by many of the women I have dated and oddly they asked me first. Some have been upset, some have broken up with me. I've always answered honestly because I think a woman has the right to make an informed decision. I've never rejected a partner because she has asked me. That would make no sense to me.


If asked the question, I never lie, but I don't give names or a number. If pressed for a number, I really, really wonder why he would need that information, and while I wouldn't say it would mean an outright rejection, it would definitely give me pause if he seemed to care too much about it. It might lead me to believe I was dealing with a person who held certain double standards, and we would probably just not see eye to eye, so might as well move on.


still, for the sake of debate, I did know a lass at another forum once, she enjoyed her sex, and married a church mouse who did not. she kept her past a secret, and later one evening complained on the forum about how her husband passed judgement on "Those type of women" and she was soooo tempted to let him know his better half was one of them. Still later on (I was there for years), she did end up cheating on him. was she a leopard who didn't change her spots, or was the lack of communication and sharing a red flag that other things were wrong in the marriage? who knows, she divorced further on and soon left the site.


Now, that is really wrong. Going out of your way to pretend to be someone you are not is truly despicable. And for what? To be with someone who wouldn't like you if he/she knew your true self? Sad. I think most of us want someone who loves us for who we are, not a pretend version of ourselves.

When you say a "leopard doesn't change its spots" I wonder to which of her actions you are referring. Having a high number of partners isn't the same thing as cheating at all. In fact, I would guess that most people who are having a good amount of casual sex do so because they want to have sex and are not in relationship.

I work with a guy who is terrible cheater, but his number of partners is low. He married his first love ( and sex partner) at a young age. He cheated on her. He married his second wife, and cheated on her with wife number three. Cheated on wife number three. Currently single and looking for a wife, because he " likes being married". LOL.


Oh, I see, it's like "player", "gigolo" "man-whore" and "man-slut" that WOMEN make up for the express purpose of sitting in judgement of men."


I have, quite literally, never used any of those words to describe a man, and I must point that those terms refer to judging a man specifically for his sexuality. Do women judge men? Oh, yes, all the time, but not that often on his sexual past.

For a long, long, time women who have been sexually open have been attacked with the curiously hard-to-define "slut" label. Calling a man a "man-slut" seems like a defensive tactic, and a weak one at that. I don't feel any need to defend my sexuality. Rather than attempt to label men for being sexually open, I would much rather see men stop flinging around that label as if it somehow wrong for a woman to act on her natural desires as a sexual being.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 200
all lines are blurred
Posted: 6/11/2016 10:07:00 PM





A poster suggested that men do not want "sluts"; they want "ladies".


Correction to the above, I didn't suggest it, I said it and, I stand by it. To be PC and, to accomodate the odd male poster who claims not to care, put a "some" in front of "men" in that sentence (I'm being nice, "most" would be much more accurate).



Yes, I do think that's a stupid thing to get all agitated about


It does make a man wonder why women get so agitated about their number. Looks like a very sensitive subject, there is probably a reason for that.



attacked with the curiously hard-to-define "slut" label


It's not an attack, it's simply a description fitting of her behavior and, it's not hard to define at all... here are a few definitions from various dictionaries:



1. a woman who has sexual relationships with a lot of men without any emotional involvement

2. a woman who has many casual sexual partners.

3. a sexually promiscuous woman

4. a woman or girl who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous


Doesn't look like it's hard to define at all. What's a lot harder to understand is why a woman would pretend that a man shouldn't care about that kind of behavior in a woman unless, of course, she has a "good reason" to support it.

Simple definitions... I don't see anything to get agitated about.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do most men consider women who are on pof to be "damaged goods"?