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 AUTHOR
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 25
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Time to bite the bullet - feedbackPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
^^^^^^^^
Yup, thought I'd already changed that, to something a lot more subtle? Obviously did not save it right, have done it now!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 26
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 5/8/2016 3:12:06 PM
No take it out
"When I send you a message, please be considerate. I do have a lot I would love to offer and would never like my contact to have been in vain!" That part negates everything else you have written.
Good you tidied the spelling and grammar... some women might not get the Adam song reference ( Calvin Harris laments he picked such a poor name) so I'd put it in quotes. You like a lot of Adams
Trust me, as someone always using song lyrics they do get me in a pickle at times.
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 27
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 5/8/2016 3:36:06 PM
But I want to finish the profile in a way that needs to say reply, please. It was on an online dating documentary in the Uk and is very similar (my original writings) to what the journalist put! I don't believe this "tamed down version" is in any way against anyone? There is an aspect of positive thinking and belief in online dating that needs to be portrayed, you need to be brave and put it out there and end with a question or statement of sorts. Originally I got arrogant, that I know. But on that documentary, they said no more Nice Guy approach. I've just watched on iPlayer this evening before updating, so no it stays and it ends the profile, I will maybe look to harshen the words per se, but will have to think a bit harder maybe? I can't change to every individual pander, it has to be a common collective, somewhere!

Plus see my previous ^^^^ comments regarding the Calvin "Adam Wyles" Harris song title reference. It coul have triple meaning, Calvin Harris, The Bee Gees and a direct question. Adam and the Ants were a 1980's New Wave/Cheesy pop/Post-punk band famous for their lead singer, the immortal hit Stand & Deliver and outrageous "Dandy" costumes in their pop videos. But, not everyone's cup of tea, but I loved them.
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 28
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 5/8/2016 4:23:53 PM
Ignore this^^^ asked my friend, she did not find it offensive, but I have removed it now. Have put some music references in there to explain my tastes and finally I believe it is a good to go profile. Please have a look.
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 30
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/20/2016 11:04:41 AM
Hi all again,

I asked advice before and rolled with most of the input. I went away from the my way or highway, tact and after trial and error changed it to what it is now. I have been told by those that know me, it is a bit "hearts and flowers" and not suiting my usual demeanour? As some will be aware, usually, I am a confident person, successful at a professional level and at times I can come across as arrogant, as I have given this impression unintentionally in the past. I am at this moment in time, just beyond my self with how I cannot make any headway after two years back in the OLD scene, like I did quite a few years ago.

I am starting to think that as another post in the Dating Experiences section portrays, I commented btw, OLD is now very stale? I only want to meet one person who gets me and hits it off. Am I, seeking something that is no longer possible, on here? Or has my patience worn out. I feel my emotions have genuinely got the better of me and was hoping that the "sets of eyes" that peruse these channels may just give my newer profile the once over, to see if it might give a bit of fresh impetus, again. I have not had one reply to my many messages in the two months since changing it and am starting to think as I have aged I have become totally Undateable?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 31
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/20/2016 11:26:19 AM

well-adjusted, intelligent, stable women


Who??!!

In the words of Rick Springfield- "Where can I find a woman like that?"



I have become totally Undateable?


ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?

JERRY: UNDATEABLE!

ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?

JERRY: Alcohol.

-Seinfeld



OLD is now very stale?


It is.
There just isn't the same level of enthusiasm and optimism about the possibilities like there used to be years ago.



I have not had one reply to my many messages in the two months since changing it


Women overall are just not participating as fully in the process as they used to.

Best advice I can give is to use as much clean humor in profile and messages and hope for the best.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 32
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/20/2016 11:55:49 AM
I think more than anything else, you need better pictures. You're a good-looking guy. But your pictures, for the most part, don't show that. Some of them are goofy and fun, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you're trying to attract women for dating, so most of them should show that you're ATTRACTIVE.

I would say No. 4, barely, because it's very far away, and the last one, are the only ones that are useable. The other ones are either too far away, or you look unfriendly, or they're just not dating pictures, or not well lit.

 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 33
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/20/2016 12:49:27 PM
As I am pretty sure I said before - too boastful. Pictures should all be within the last 6 months
Some of them better suited for FB imo
Do you think she will go Yes I will date him based on the " rare, one of a kind classic car?" Goodness there are more expensive rides here than you can shake a stick at and those Men are still dateless.
You have to give her a reason to be happy you messaged her :)
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 34
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/20/2016 1:51:43 PM
Well John, I think you rolled away from the input and you still sound arrogant.
Do you think anybody cares that you have golfed with the rich and famous or drive a restored classic?
Just makes you sound small to me.

I advise you go back and read the advice you were given a couple of months ago.
 Aggers
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 35
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/21/2016 5:08:35 AM
Well, I really don't know what to think now?

I am not a boastful person, really (but you all seem to say that) I just want to convey that I am serious and want to date. I no longer have the emotional capability to be messed around and feel that my intention in my profile is not getting across. I am not unique in this but I just want a nice rounded person and I just cannot find anyone? I am basing this on comparison, my colleague in post #1, 5 weeks, dated twice met someone and done, now gone and happy! A really good friend, came on here last summer, 11 weeks met a beautiful lady, done. My friend met his wife on here, 7 years ago. Indeed I have had a LTR from here ended 2 years ago. So what gives?

Driving is a joy, to me and I am not bragging about my ride, I am informing I like driving!

Golf has been a lifelong passion and has been important in my life. I was just trying to provoke maybe a message asking who I knew or had played with, to start off a conversation?

I am actually very disturbed now because it surely gives me the information I need just in 3 replies, women think I am up myself and are scared of my claims. There is no real interaction between anyone! And finally, the big one, I am coming across as miserable and ugly in my pictures. I thank you all.

In the real world I can command respect, attention and at the moment, I am having a Jekyll & Hyde existence. Going to work, putting a smile on my face, doing my thing and getting satisfaction out of it. In private I am truly lonely, I have become so inept at reading and understanding people, that it is turning me into a people hater. I am really getting fed up of just not being happy.

I get asked a lot too why I cannot meet anyone whilst working a Disco or Nightclub? Please bear in mind, I am working, most people don't look to pull the DJ and they are drinking, hardly perfect.

I think in conclusion I should just give up on PoF as I already have on all the other sites. So hidden profile and just a dip in the forums every now and again. Maybe come back in a while!

Thanks all.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 36
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/21/2016 5:47:58 AM
Why give up? Simple changes to the text and removing a few pictures all that is required
Say you are a ex pro and still enjoy golf, offer to teach her if she is interested
Say driving gives you pleasure, clears your head.. without doing the whole classic one of bit
Tone it down is all.
It is like saying " I enjoy trying new recipes even when they fail" rather than
" upon entering my state of the Art gourmet chef kitchen I roll up the sleeves of my Versace blouse and begin to create a feast fit for Kings"
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 37
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Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/21/2016 7:14:47 AM

I am coming across as miserable and ugly in my pictures. I thank you all.

How did you get that from me saying You're a good looking guy and need better pictures?

For the most part I said the pictures were not useful because of the quality of the pictures not how you looked in them. But somehow you twisted that into a personal attack.

Somebody with a better outlook and attitude would have kept the pictures I said were good, deleted the other ones and gone out and taken a couple of dozen pictures, and posted the best ones.

You really are your own worst enemy.

I got nothing.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 38
Time to bite the bullet - feedback
Posted: 7/21/2016 1:48:34 PM

In the real world I can command respect, attention and at the moment, I am having a Jekyll & Hyde existence. Going to work, putting a smile on my face, doing my thing and getting satisfaction out of it. In private I am truly lonely, I have become so inept at reading and understanding people, that it is turning me into a people hater. I am really getting fed up of just not being happy.
Therein lies your problem.
If you need to command respect and control, demonstrate your importance, and generally elevate yourself here, I don't have much advice.
The lack of response from women you message is a reflection of your profile.
How you present yourself with words and photos is everything.

Women are not scared of your claims (as you seem to think) nor are they intimidated; they are put off by them.
Your frustration is high and because of that, I think you take profile reviews as personal criticism of yourself and not just your profile.
There are men (and women) here with higher pedigrees, higher education, more $, more stuff, more toys, better looking, etc that do not flaunt what they have and who they are.
That is the point that you are not understanding...not one of us is better than anyone else and being humble goes a long way.

Another thing--happiness comes from the inside and not solely from being partnered up.
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