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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 26
How much do you weigh?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I'm 5'9" 230 lbs. By BMI standards I'm overweight or maybe even obese, by Coast Guard standards


That is obese according the BMI. I am borderline obese according to BMI. I don't have a perfect six pack. But I have more muscle than the average person. Which is why the BMI is not always accurate.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 27
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 8:25:37 AM
Obese.

A morbid word. Sounds awful. Ghastly.

Why not plump or stocky?
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 28
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 9:55:21 AM
The only person that needs to know my exact weight is my doctor. Even then, weight alone is not necessary an indicator of a person's health or body type. Unless they weighed 400 lbs. LOL.
 raisehill
Joined: 5/2/2016
Msg: 29
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 10:20:27 AM
No matter your weight, the issue is whether you are comfortable in your own skin. When I look around and see so many men and women who are so large, which past fifty seems to be well the majority of people, some having difficulty just walking, I really wonder how they can stand being in their own bodies . . . if their bodies present that much discomfort to them.

I know as I have aged and developed a bit of a paunch . . where most of my life I had a six pack, naturally and with little effort . . . I could not stand how I felt in a pair of jeans or any other clothes. So I vowed to do something about it . . which meant daily morning workouts and walking miles every evening, as well as limiting sugar and fried foods (I will never give up carbs though). My efforts have paid off. I will never be twenty-one again, but I am close to the weight now that I was then, and for my age have barely a paunch left. Personally, I am far more concerned about how comfortable I am when wearing a pear of pants as opposed to how I look to the opposite sex at this point in my life.
 matyko
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 30
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 10:40:54 AM

I prefer curvy or plus size. Sounds nicer. In the same weight that 'life and soul of the party' or 'bon viveur' sounds nicer than alcoholic.


You can put lipstick on a pig and its still a pig.

I mentioned to my ex-mother in law (I'm widowed, she's out of my life too)...anyway, she was commenting on some "drunken bum" outside Safeway one day. I mentioned that the only difference between the "drunken bum" sipping his wine from a paper bag and her was that she used good crystal glasses. An alcoholic is an alcoholic and who care if its a 2 dollar bottle or red wine or a 25 dollar bottle.

And no, I don't state my weight or my age...and a lot of other stuff too. People ask too many questions that are none of their damn business until we are sharing a home and a life, you do my pap test or I send in a tax return.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 31
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 10:47:41 AM
I believe that most men or women with even the slightest knowledge of style or fashion and/or even a basic understanding of photography know that darker colors, certain patterns and cuts and most importantly "good" lighting and proper poses can take off both years and pounds off of someone's APPEARANCE. So my vitals are in my profile. 5'11"/180. People are free to make of them whatever they want. One less thing for someone to fret about when wondering whether to send or reply to an email, especially because of so many Forumites who have apparently been hoodwinked by UNrepresentative pics and resultant bad meets. More often than not after countless hours of pushing buttons "getting to know" each other. NOT the best way to do OLD based on my own experience.

If someone has "enough" decent, believable [IMO] pics, and a "good" profile, I really don't care what she weighs or WHAT YEAR she was born simply because I care what she actually LOOKS LIKE currently not when she came into this world.

I constantly see many ladies list themselves as Thin. I agree to the extent in comparing themselves to all the ladies who list themselves as Average. I watch a lot of old B&W movies. Good Grief Charlie Brown at how how much Average for both men and women has changed over the years...

In the end it's just one category of many, and I see quite a few ladies with numerous pinup/swimsuit model quality pics who list themselves as Average or even a few pounds extra. Their Bios usually reveal the intent.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 32
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 10:49:05 AM

I prefer curvy or plus size. Sounds nicer. In the same weight that 'life and soul of the party' or 'bon viveur' sounds nicer than alcoholic.


I consider curvy women to have the traditional hour glass figure. Nice breasts, relatively slim waist, round butt. Not women that are significantly overweight. As people not wanting to use the word obese, it's just a medical term. I can think of plenty of words that would be much more rude.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 33
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 1:37:03 PM
I knew someone who weighed that who kept telling us that the doctor was telling her that she was healthy for someone her size, the key is that he said "her size" which is like telling someone who smokes 8 packs a cigarettes that they're healthy for someone who smokes as much as they do. She now has to do dialysis treatments because one of her kidney's failed, maybe if someone told her "Hey you're morbidly obese, you should get that under control" she wouldn't have kidney failure at age 29.

While I like a thick woman, I do want to see my friends live long and healthy lives, I'm not saying they have to be skinny or work out twice a day like I do but I don't want them to have diabetes, an heart attack, kidney failure etc...over something that can be easily prevented. So in a way size is important, it doesn't make a guy or girl shallow because they don't want to date someone who's clearly not taking care of themselves.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 34
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got much pen!s?
Posted: 5/21/2016 1:51:11 PM
I don't want to date a man with a small d!ck. I could care less if he's got a six pack.
 raisehill
Joined: 5/2/2016
Msg: 35
got much pen!s?
Posted: 5/21/2016 3:08:37 PM
Trump is already taken geeek
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 36
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 3:11:21 PM

I mentioned that the only difference between the "drunken bum" sipping his wine from a paper bag and her was that she used good crystal glasses. An alcoholic is an alcoholic and who care if its a 2 dollar bottle or red wine or a 25 dollar bottle.

Well there's a Big difference that's being missed -- that the one's an actual street bum Because they're a drunk. The other one isn't.

I consider curvy women to have the traditional hour glass figure.

I agree. Curvy doesn't mean obese, although some want to hijack it as such for politically correct reasons. Women who have curves are naturally better looking than stick-figure-built ones. Only the word 'curvy' to mean very overweight would be like calling someone who's anorexic 'slender'. Yeah, they are pretty darn slender, but...

As people not wanting to use the word obese, it's just a medical term.

Yeah. And I agree, especially as a guy, with muscle, you come off as obese when you could merely lose a few pounds. Running backs in the NFL or college football are labeled as 'obese', and almost all of them don't need to lose a few pounds (of fat). And some people operate well 'underweight' as their body's designed, too. Basically the levels of 'obesity' are running under many assumptions that many times do apply, but many times don't apply.
 matyko
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 37
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 6:20:57 PM

I mentioned that the only difference between the "drunken bum" sipping his wine from a paper bag and her was that she used good crystal glasses. An alcoholic is an alcoholic and who care if its a 2 dollar bottle or red wine or a 25 dollar bottle.


NG says

Well there's a Big difference that's being missed -- that the one's an actual street bum Because they're a drunk. The other one isn't.


No, not much difference at all, both are alcoholics. Or I'm assuming the street dude was an alcoholic, I know for sure that my ex-mother inlaw is an alcoholic.

Obese may be a medical term but it is now widely used but most people to describe overweight or fat. Obese, morbidly obese. It's obese. Hey would you not use the correct term?

I had an accident and my jaw was broken in two spots. I had to wait for surgery and then had my jaw wired shut for 6 weeks followed by 3 months of physio. I had a specialist do the surgery so I hadn't seen my GP in awhile and went in for a physical. I saw her notes, she wrote "patient may be anorexic". Geez, 11 months with a snapped off mandible, surgery, jaw wired shut, physio...yes, I lost a little weight. I should have framed that little comment.

Do people put in there profile "I'm looking for tall, dark, handsome and you can't have a small d!ck"?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 38
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 7:01:20 PM

No, not much difference at all, both are alcoholics.

So being a bum doesn't make any difference in annoying people coming out of Safeway? :) I think that's the major annoyance. "Hey, if you're going to be drinking too much -- at least be a functional alcoholic, and geezus, don't be begging for stuff regardless!" :)

Obese may be a medical term but it is now widely used but most people to describe overweight or fat. Obese, morbidly obese. It's obese. Hey would you not use the correct term?

It's widely used in two contexts: By the 'scale' that's out there and separately also another term for 'fat' (as in too much fat). The official 'scale' is the one that raises eyebrows, as it presumes one fits a typical body structure without excessive muscle. Because it's only going by weight.
 matyko
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 39
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 7:48:21 PM
Who said anything about the dude annoying people coming out of Safeway? Not me. People play with words. They play with words to appear kind or intelligent or they don't want to hurt someone's feelings or they are being PC. Fat/obese is like drunken bum/alcoholic. To my ex-mother inlaw, the difference between a drunken bum and an alcoholic is the price of their wine. Plus...she likes scotch too so she's sophisticated and upscale. She's still a drunk...or an alcoholic. Same thing. And she's been that way for 30 years.

I use the terms fat, obese and morbidly obese. The 600 pounders on that tv show are morbidly obese. My 6'2" husband was 240 and the Dr. said he was "obese". He was. I'm sure the weight and high blood pressure contributed to his heart attack...add in the sleep apnea and it was the perfect storm. So yup, get a handle on it while you're still fat, before you hit obese. All of us know when we are pretty much "just right for us" in the weight department, sometimes we creep up over Christmas or on vacation and we cut down a bit and get back to "just right for us". I don't need a scale or do the math for my BMI, I know what is right for me. I get weighed once a year when I have my physical and that's good enough for me.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/21/2016 9:54:54 PM
I suppose this weight argument could go on forever. I see loads of overweight people limping. Some are wearing house slippers, because that's all the can put on their feet. (Or flip-flops) My ex had low back issues because of her weight. Several people I know have had knee joint replacement because of their weight, and because they remain at the same weight, their knee joint replacements have not been a cure for their pain. Two of my dining room chairs were ruined because of overweight friends sitting on them. I never knew that there was such a thing as sleep apnea ten years ago. Two of my friends have become diabetic, because of their weight.

I have never seen a gun pointed at anyone's head, forcing them to eat. Yes, there are millions starving in this world. You would be in better health if you'd just stop eating so blasted much. And the starving folks just might see a meal coming their way if you did.
 raisehill
Joined: 5/2/2016
Msg: 41
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/22/2016 11:17:33 AM

I have never seen a gun pointed at anyone's head, forcing them to eat. Yes, there are millions starving in this world. You would be in better health if you'd just stop eating so blasted much. And the starving folks just might see a meal coming their way if you did.


I really don't think this is fair. There are people who put on weight easily who eat a limited number of calories. No doubt people are different and metabolize food differently. I know that when I was young I could eat a huge amount with abandon and never gain excess weight, and even now, much older, have a pretty easy time of it taking weight off and keeping it off. I also recognize that is not true for lots of people.

I also recognize that some people work so hard and have so much going on in their lives that they do not have the time for exercise and some people have no clue about how to eat properly.

In the end of course, people still have to assume responsibility for their weight and their health. But since you are obviously not overweight purplerider . . . never had the issues many others have . . .I would not be so critical of them.



Do people put in there profile "I'm looking for tall, dark, handsome and you can't have a small d!ck"?


LOL. I don't think there is any true issue to a minimal "size" being important to women no matter how much they might deny it, on the other hand, it takes a shocking lack of class to mention something like that in their profile or on a message board like above. But some women here have taken a lot of flak for putting certain minimal requirements in their profiles before.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 42
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/22/2016 4:42:01 PM

With that in mind, would it be OK to ask folks how close to a weight you would desire to be ARE you? 5%? 10%? 20%?

I hadn't weighed myself in a year. When you work out weight is not an accurate measurement. Body fat would be more accurate. I've gotten to the point where I just gauge how I look and feel.


do you think it would improve your DATING chances here?

There's two sides to the coin here. On the one hand undeniably weight does matter. The more "healthy" or thin you are (within reason) to the ideal that seems to run rampant around America the more opportunities you will have.

The second side is that confidence greatly influences our interactions with others. Ever heard the saying "you attract the love you feel you deserve"? So if you don't feel attractive you will subconsciously project this onto others and they won't want to be involved with you.


Is preference for weight or body type any more or less shallow than all the other things people get shot down over?

Why would this be shallow? We all have our preferences that doesn't make us shallow. It also doesn't mean that's what we will end up with either.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 43
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/22/2016 5:46:42 PM

I have this feeling that at least some small percentage would like to be heavier.


Yes, being naturally thin I was underweight until I recently added a little bit of muscle going to the gym. Now, I can call myself average. I still have a ways to go before I can claim to be athletic.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 44
How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/23/2016 7:06:34 AM

Is preference for weight or body type any more or less shallow than all the other things people get shot down over?


No. Looks in general or weight / body type is a part of the overall package. But IMO a person can be shallow when (s)he ONLY cares about looks, money, and/or materialistic possessions.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 45
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/23/2016 8:35:10 AM
I weigh 210 right now. I do a lot of physical work and get asked for help when there is something heavy to move.

I'm working on losing more weight, but I am doing it so that I can always do what I want, when I want.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 46
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/23/2016 10:44:54 AM
I weigh 128#. 41, 27, 35. I am 5'2". I am muscular so I look thinner. I have an aversion to obese people only because I think food can be an addiction. I would not date a gambler or a drug addict either.
People here are talking about the drunk on the corner. It is perfectly acceptable to call him a "bum" or another degrading name. He obviously has a compulsion to drink.
The fat person has a compulsion to eat but God forbid if we call that person fat or obese. It is the same sickness. Their lives have become unmanageable because of an addiction. People need food so we do not see it as a disease but it is.
My preference is to be with someone who cares about themselves enough not to abuse their bodies with food... I don't think that is shallow.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 47
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/23/2016 11:06:43 AM

I do a lot of physical work and get asked for help when there is something heavy to move.

For most people, cardio exercise doesn't make you lose much weight -- it's more for health. It'll help get things kick-started in weight loss, but level off. It will always have its effect, but for losing weight, it's pretty much what you eat and how much.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 48
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/25/2016 7:09:06 AM

My preference is to be with someone who cares about themselves enough not to abuse their bodies with food... I don't think that is shallow.

The trouble with Online dating is most of that judgement is done based on the most shallow of circumstances - mainly a single photo or maybe a couple lines of text. People are genetically predisposed to being large - but their behaviors and habits can vary immensely. There are several 'chunky' people that run marathons and eat extremely healthy that simply cannot convey their habits well in a couple pictures or written claims in a profile. People see a picture, and tend to believe what they want to believe. They don't have to be remotely correct in their assumption, because saying 'no' and refusing to find the truth in some brains is just as good as saying 'yes' and proving it.

Addictions of all kinds do exist. I find it funny sometimes how hypocritical people get about it. A guy drinks copious amounts of booze seven days a week, and yet, the problem his girlfriend has - is because he was caught browsing a porn site one single time. People have endless health issues from smoking 2 packs a day, yet get into a tizzy because a kid at the next booth in a restaurant sneezes without covering his mouth. Selective perception is very much part of this whole argument - not just a number or a lifestyle.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 49
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/25/2016 8:43:22 AM


Msg. 51: The trouble with Online dating is most of that judgement is done based on the most shallow of circumstances - mainly a single photo or maybe a couple lines of text. People are genetically predisposed to being large - but their behaviors and habits can vary immensely. There are several 'chunky' people that run marathons and eat extremely healthy that simply cannot convey their habits well in a couple pictures or written claims in a profile.

People who have extra weight often justify or excuse their appearance by citing genetics and claiming to regularly (vigorously?) exercise and eat healthy foods. Though it’s true that individual body shapes vary, there is a point at which excess weight is almost always a result of poor habits.

If an individual weighs 50-100 pounds more than a healthy weight (as determined by qualified professionals), then it’s obvious he/she needs a lifestyle change and/or intervention to address a medical issue causing the excess weight. Friends tend to be kind when discussing one’s weight/appearance, but an extra 50-100+ pounds can be seen in photos that don’t hide the body, and the resulting judgment (your word) can be either shallow or pragmatic. Either way, it’s among the first steps in a process of assessing compatibility for dating, especially when seeking a long-term relationship.

Most people under 60 don’t grasp the speed at which bodies change when they reach late 50s and beyond. The effects of aging speed up, and some things that were once easy become a challenge, assuming they can be done at all. When older, even a little excess weight can add to problem areas, and more than 30-40 pounds of excess weight can be the beginning of the end, as those pounds can lead to health issues that spiral toward even worse health issues.

Although anyone can die or become disabled in an accident at any time, some of us prefer to decrease the risk of harm coming to a loved one. In fact, there are some (like me) who find it incredibly sexy when a man shows appropriate concern for his health and mine.

Given my family history, it appears I’ll live into my 90s. I have a dream that I’ll make passionate love the night before my last day on earth. For that to happen, the man I love will need to be both alive and up to the task.

“Here’s to good health!”
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 50
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How much do you weigh?
Posted: 5/25/2016 5:26:17 PM

If an individual weighs 50-100 pounds more than a healthy weight (as determined by qualified professionals), then it’s obvious he/she needs a lifestyle change and/or intervention to address a medical issue causing the excess weight.

How overweight am I? Or is that too difficult to tell - from a profile?


Given my family history, it appears I’ll live into my 90s. I have a dream that I’ll make passionate love the night before my last day on earth. For that to happen, the man I love will need to be both alive and up to the task.

Tomorrow may be your last day. Good health habits make none of us immune from accidents and such. I had three of my four grandparents live well into their 90s, and the fourth probably could have if he wasn't an alcoholic and a smoker well into his 70s - and he wasn't overweight when he died. I have health issues not directly related to weight, as does nearly everyone on this planet. Having the confidence you might live that long may be 'sexy', but life isn't always following the same plan.

Don't get me wrong about being against a healthy weight. I dropped 50 pounds and put 15 back when I started weight training. The difference has been amazing. Yet, some people who don't know that and don't know me - don't care and assume whatever the hell they want. It bugs me that people think others can't possibly understand what it's like because they are not the exact same. It's stupidly naive and even arrogant at times. Parents believe a non-parent can NEVER know what it's like, fitness gurus believe a normal person can't possibly know what it's like to lose weight or be 'Healthy', people afflicted with disease believe someone who doesn't have the same affliction can't possibly know what it's like to experience pain or suffering. It's bullsh1t. Having compatibility with another involves an understanding and empathy of each other, not a cloning of their lives. Almost IS indeed good enough, in a lot of cases.
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