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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Where did all my male friends go?      Home login  
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 Escape2bfree
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 26
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Where did all my male friends go?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well now i come to think of it, i guess its a respect thing. I think i would expect the man to distance himself from he's female friends, I don't think id ask for it. Not sure it's jealousy but more of a respect thing. Depends on the definition of friends and whether they had ever had sex together or were an item for a while.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 27
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 5/30/2016 7:42:38 PM
Women do this to. I don't have any close female friends. The last time I went out for drinks with 3 so-called female friends they all enchanged phone numbers and email addresses at the end, and didn't even ask for mine.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 28
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 5/30/2016 11:49:03 PM
They left because most of them probably liked you and got tired of watching other guys date the women they care for. This is why I am no longer friends ANY women at all. Got tired of being the shoulder to cry on when the bad man hurt you yet I was never good enough for a relationship.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 29
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 5/30/2016 11:50:27 PM
They left because most of them probably liked you and got tired of watching other guys date the women they care for. This is why I am no longer friends ANY women at all. Got tired of being the shoulder to cry on when the bad man hurt you yet I was never good enough for a relationship.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 30
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 6/1/2016 1:52:52 PM

I’ve known women who simply wouldn’t tolerate another female in their man’s life, with the possible exception of his mother.

Yeah, that's crazy over-jealousy. However, I think those types are going to be jealous of close guy friends, too, in terms of stealing attention.

Personally, I wouldn’t give up my female friends for all the gold in Trump’s footlocker

I think it's when you're close 1-on-1 friends with a female that it understandably gets in the way of dating -- or relatively close friends with groups of just-women you hang out with somewhat frequently, and I think that's understandable. Jealousy in and of itself isn't bad. It's when it's unnecessarily applied... hasty or over-jealousy. And not wanting a BF-to-be to be going out 1-on-1 with just girls all the time... I wouldn't think said girl was the over-jealous type.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 6/3/2016 4:43:57 PM
I never based any female friendship that I had, on looks alone. She was a woman, and since I had so few in my life I considered an actual girlfriend, just platonic ones were better than nothing.

Who I don't hit it off with, is other men. Most that I ever met, had some sort of moronic passion for sporting events. As far as I was concerned, if it used a stick or a ball, it required no thought.

Now, one that did, is motor racing. That takes a great deal of work, mechanical skill, and the ability to out think the others. Muscle, size, athletic ability means little in that.

And no, I never thought women were inferior to men. But most women can't handle being treated equally.
 KatieKat260
Joined: 5/25/2016
Msg: 32
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 6/3/2016 7:10:22 PM
I don't know why a platonic friendship with the opposite sex is so foreign to some. I've always had male friends , some are single, some partners. I've met them them through work, events, charity work, volunteering, interests, hobbies. Good, true friends. None have approached me for sex, I don't fvck my friends. I like my guy friends and for some unknown reason, I keep getting more and I'm not losing them.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 33
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 9:56:08 AM
Where the hell did Halftimedad go?? I hate my life!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 11:21:41 AM

I don't know why a platonic friendship with the opposite sex is so foreign to some.

A 1-on-1 platonic friendship of the opp-sex is kinda weird under general circumstances. Why do guys not really want that?

I don't fvck my friends.

That's why. It's platonic. Seeing a near-zero chance of being able to hook up may make the guy still be 1-on-1 friends... but...

for some unknown reason, I keep getting more and I'm not losing them.

... the reason you get (most of) them in the first place is due attraction. It doesn't mean they have some vagenda laid out about you -- it just means making 1-on-1 female friends will get some action at some point. Most of the new 1-on-1 single guy friends you meet do want to hook up. Other emotions can make them not truly chase you -- you being taken would be one reason. But then again, it'd be weird for a GF of mine to make a new 1-on-1 single guy friend. Of course I'm going to assume his attraction for her motivated it.
 Kashmir_too
Joined: 7/18/2016
Msg: 35
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 11:39:50 AM
NG, adults can have adult friends of the opposite sex....without sex coming into play...ever. Maybe you're not mature enough to grasp the concept. Many think with their d1ck for a long, long time. Others evolve. If you still bang ugly chicks for practise, you're not ready for prime time...a true friendship with the opposite sex. No offence, you're young.

Whatsamatterbaby, the removal of Halftimedad was brought up in Off Topic late last night and the consensus was...WTF. A real WTF. HTD has been here since 2005. Now he's gone, how friggin pathetic. It's the same as who the hell would remove Eric Summit? These two removals makes no sense. HTD was not mean, nasty or annoying. WTF.

VVVV

When he comes back, show him your tits. :-)
I hope he comes back.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 36
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 11:49:01 AM
No one will ever be able to insult me like he did :(

I wish I hadn't laughed at his penis pics.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 37
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 11:55:37 AM
Almost seems like there's some sentient form of Fabreze trying to keep things fresh in here.

Like, there's a lifetime limit to the number of messages that anyone can post.

I imagine I'll be joining HTD soon.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 38
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 12:08:53 PM
^ I'll picture you as a little naked cherub with a smart phone in one hand and an endless supply of little blue pills in the other :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 39
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 12:23:21 PM

NG, adults can have adult friends of the opposite sex....without sex coming into play...ever.

True, of course that happens. Never denied that, even when attraction was a motivating factor, or not. But forming a 1-on-1 platonic relationship, hanging out 1-on-1 together, with someone of the opp-sex -- with no sexual attraction from either party, from beginning to end? My point is that there'd need to be uncommon reasons why that would occur. There's going to be attraction, even not thinking with their d!ck (ie not having an agenda to get in their pants), as the motivator. It would be pretty immature to be naive thinking that just because the guy isn't romantically chasing the female friend, and is presently 100% cool with being just-friends in the 1-on-1 situation, that it means there isn't nor ever was any attraction as a motivator.

Say Bob & Sally, two single people meet at the mall, then start to hang out 1-on-1 and have what they call a 1-on-1 platonic friendship. The burden of proof relies on the one who says neither has ever had any attraction toward the other for this to form -- not that that's assumed by default. If Sally was my GF, I'd raise an eyebrow about that. I'd be a foolish immature person not to, if there was no other reason behind it. So back to them both being single. Say they hang out, as the friends that they are, for drinks on Friday night. At the end of the night, neither too drunk or anything, Bob swings into Sally's place near the last bar they were at, 'cause he has to pee. He comes out of the bathroom, and she's laying naked on the couch, and says "Let's have sex for once... do me." Does Bob:

(a) Say "No, I don't want to ruin this beautiful friendship"? Or
(b) Comply

Obviously if you reverse the gender roles, it'd very understandably be a slap in the face by the girl. :)

Group friends? Different story. Burden of proof is one who claims Bobby likes Sally or Sally likes Bobby. But (if) once that forms into hanging out 1-on-1 and becoming a 1-on-1 relationship -- that's when one would be naive not to think "Wait, where is this going?"

If you still bang ugly chicks for practise, you're not ready for prime time

I don't bang ugly chicks for practice -- where are you getting that? lol Whole other subject and still very different than that -- giving the thumbs up to having sex when having had little to no experience -- and not only doing so for a gal who hits the definitely-dateable level. Targeting potential hookups from girls who are specifically not-very-attractive (but not repulsive), yes, can be a good idea for the intimidated.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 40
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 12:51:58 PM
I`ve had very few female friends over the years, and the ones with whom I am friends are more like sisters to me than anything else.
I will admit though, that for the most part if the opportunity were there I would sleep with them. I doubt the women ever felt there were times that they would have slept with me.
I believe that once a woman has made up her mind about whether or not she will have sex with a certain man, she wont change her mind about it under any circumstances and she`ll have no problem keeping up a lifetime platonic friendship with him.
Men, on the other hand, might initially say he wont sleep with a certain woman but there will be times when we will if theres opportunity to.
And it could be this, within our mentalities, which are on such different levels that the men find it difficult to remain just friends.
 Kashmir_too
Joined: 7/18/2016
Msg: 41
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 1:17:01 PM
I meet people. I meet a lot of people. I work, I have interests ...I meet people. And some of these people are men. Some of them are "casual" acquaintances that I see, may join for lunch or a function, some are married/partnered, some are single. Two I've travelled with more than once. I've slept on a few sofas and salaried a lot of home cooked meals. Some of them have become very close friends , like a BFF, a few are like brothers in that we are "family". And I don't fvck them, never have and never will. I don't fvck my female friends either. If it starts as a friendship, it stays that way.

If you ever had a mature friendship with the opposite sex, you would understand. NG, apparently you haven't or can't fathom it.

And your Bob and Sally type stories and vinyettes...boring, always have been.

You either understand the concept or you don't.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 42
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 1:50:52 PM
^ I love Bob and Sally! Those crazy kids.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 43
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 3:09:09 PM
I just hope he isn't holding Bob and Sally in the dungeon, er basement
Akin to people who talk like this
" So I says and then she says so I says and then Mike says"
I want to stab them
Can't compare HTD to Eric.. Eric is/was great :)
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 44
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 4:01:01 PM

makes me feel like women are still viewed by men as being inferior - of no value other for their appearance. Am I right?

You may be right about a few, but I wouldn't think you'd be right about men in general. I've always had both male and female friends. A few stay in touch but, like someone upthread mentioned, people's lives change and, over time, they tend to drift away whether they're male of female. Why not just pick one or two and track them down? Call 'em up. See how they're doing and what they've been up to. Just for the hell of it. I'll bet they'll be glad to hear from you.
 Kashmir_too
Joined: 7/18/2016
Msg: 45
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 5:25:30 PM

Can't compare HTD to Eric....Eric is/was great :)


Halftimedad didn't hurt anyone. He wasn't nasty to people. He was here since 2005 without getting caught up in the b.s. or being hurtful or spiteful. Whoever got him nuked is a d1ck or d1cks.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 46
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 6:51:00 PM

You either understand the concept or you don't.

I do fully understand the concept. I'm not scratching my head with "What do you mean? I cannot grasp this concept you talk about." Not at all, you know that.

Some of them are "casual" acquaintances that I see, may join for lunch or a function, some are married/partnered, some are single.

I'm not talking about a casual or temporary acquaintance of the opp-sex where you might hang out 1-on-1 in a certain situation. I'm talking about an established 1-on-1 opp-sex relationship that's claimed to be platonic, talking on the phone and going out just 1-on-1 as a regular/typical thing.

Two I've travelled with more than once. I've slept on a few sofas and salaried a lot of home cooked meals. Some of them have become very close friends , like a BFF, a few are like brothers in that we are "family".

And I'm not saying a particular opp-sex 1-on-1 relationship cannot be established & be platonic. They do all the time. *Usually* it was instigated in the first place by some attraction, usually by the guy.

And I don't fvck them, never have and never will.

I'm not saying You want to. I never implied that. Google "Ladder Theory". Even though it's kind of blown out of proportion, the core concept I totally agree with. "Yes Virginia, they all want to bang you," is a quote from it, referring to guy friends a gal may have (referring to famous article many decades ago of "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause"). It doesn't mean the guy's has some big agenda, or that he can't actually be friends. It's that usually attraction at least got the friendship running, if he was wanting to form 1-on-1. My point is that the burden of explanation is on the one with a close 1-on-1 platonic relationship, which can occur where it is truly harmless. Where the guy wouldn't want to fool around with her if she wanted to.

But my point is -- I'd gladly be in Vegas betting, on 10 random situations where straight single guy & girl are 1-on-1 friends -- and whether or not that the guy wouldn't hook up with her if she convincingly expressed liking him, or a psyche detector that neither had any mild attractiveness toward the other... where you'd bet Yes and expect to win over 5 out of 10 times, and I'd bet No expecting to win over 5 out of 10 times. I'd be surprised if I only won 6 out of the 10 times. Many gals think that that's not true, when it's much more true that the guy usually has or has had some attraction during or the it being the causation of it.

Again, it's different than group-friends who may under certain timing & circumstances hang out 1-on-1 at a certain time or crash on one's couch.
 green0eye0girl
Joined: 7/21/2016
Msg: 47
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/8/2016 4:21:42 AM
Well I was with my husband since 18 so I pretty much quit hanging with my male friends ( ex was in the circle). Now that I'm single I am only friends with my female friends boyfriends/husbands. And sometimes I have felt weird to get a message from the guy, my first reaction is to tell my girlfriend....oh just so you know your man inboxed me on fb, don't want that drama.

About 2 months ago and co worker or my husbands saw a pic I posted on fb, long story short he wanted to be friends, I then said ok cool as long as you have no ulterior motives since you're married, he claimed he had none but since then the new friendship has amounted to a few random messages asking what I was doing on a Friday/Saturday night.

I'm currently talking to a guy I met on here, right off the bat he said he was just looking to chat, he wasn't interested in dating a woman with kids and his house is for sale he's moving. Fair enough I don't mind chatting, he lives minutes from me and we actually met yesterday, he just stopped by and we talked in my backyard. I get the feeling that this friendship is going to be based on his level of attraction to me, we'll see how the friend thing works out.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 48
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Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 9/10/2016 5:01:27 AM

It makes me feel like women are still viewed by men as being inferior - of no value other for their appearance.


That's not true! Can you cook? Raise children? Go to Church?
 Blue_Highway
Joined: 5/11/2016
Msg: 49
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 9/15/2016 11:46:02 PM
While my friends and I often seem to be on opposite sides of the coin; the few that remain today are still there because we have no hang ups nor pass judgments upon one another.


My conclusion now is that these men were my friends because they found me physically attractive. This makes me so sad, not specifically for myself, but for humankind. It makes me feel like women are still viewed by men as being inferior - of no value other for their appearance. Am I right?


Maybe some truths, yet I see it in a different way.
There will be people that will come in to your life that will make you think you are friends when you really are not. If you are physically attractive, it doesn't always mean they only want to be friends so they can jump in the sack with you. Some will just make friends based on this to up their social status. More good looking people pool more good looking people. An example or you can take it with a grain of salt. OLD photos with friends. I have yet to run across a group of friends photo on here to where there is a less than appealing guy or girl with them. I'm sure they have them, but they either have been cut from the photo like Uncle Buck feeling an embarrassment or just wasn't invited. I agree that it is sad to be used in such a way.
 Yg23320
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 50
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 10/11/2016 1:39:08 AM
Never say never or always but there are very very few men who would consider you as a strictly platonic friend - no interest whatsoever under any circumstances "friend". I'm pretty sure you already know this, just enjoyed the attention.
Of course yes, there's always a few exceptional exceptions. The exception to the rule does not disprove the rule.
Many put on a good show about it and never break character. Why any guy would continue on with the tease/torment of this is beyond me. Some guys are just gluttons for punishment.
Your mindless behaviour can only be excused out of possible ignorance. Even that is thin excuse.
But, now that you know, you should conduct yourself accordingly.
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