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 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 101
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Poverty stricken men shouldn't be dating Page 5 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

Your profile says you're just here for the forums but it also says "Intent: Silverhawk_tkn is looking for a relationship."

So which is it seeing as how you're the bastion of honesty?


This is quite tame compared to some of the emails I get.........lol..........
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 102
Poverty stricken men shouldn't be dating
Posted: 6/9/2016 10:16:32 AM
Curios minds need to know, so I looked at the profile, and I didn't see any deception-just someone who either forgot or can't be bothered with changing the Intent. I doubt his mailbox is going to be flooded with messages from women who think he's single, available, and looking when he stated in the first line that he found someone already. Also, I agree with the points he made about what turns guys off when reading a woman's profile.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 103
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Poverty stricken men shouldn't be dating
Posted: 6/9/2016 11:22:40 AM
^^^ precisely.

Actually - the whole profile is old and I should just remove the content and hide the profile. One of these days.......

I do get controversial emails from time to time which is a bit of an annoyance.

Been with the same lady now for 7 years. Its time to get off here permanently but I do like to drop in now and again just to see if anyone is discussing anything that perks my interest.

This has been a great experience for me. Met lots of nice ladies along the way and picked up some great tips from these forums. Helped me through my divorce and got me into the next chapter in life. OLD and POF definitely worked for me.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 104
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Poverty stricken men shouldn't be dating
Posted: 6/9/2016 3:58:43 PM
So in mid 2009 you met the lady you're with now but in Dec 2010( 1.5 years later) you joined this site?

When you created your profile to tell women how they should conduct themselves according to your standards you set it to:

Intent: Silverhawk_tkn is looking for a relationship

but didn't mean it because you were already in a relationship?

You can take the time to type how others should be honest, forthright and understanding, take the time to type in the forums but can't be bothered to take a second to change intent on your profile when its a simple pull down menu?

It makes me wonder especially when someone states as you did:

silverhawk_tkn said
its amazing how many dishonest people are out there.


So I am asking as so many men said it was ok to do in the other thread about "damaged goods" and I'm not even being rude or asking crass questions (like demanding a body count). However I'm not suprised that the usual cuckolds have come to your defense. I mean really who can expect a grown man could hold his own when subjected to such scrutiny? lol
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 105
Poverty stricken men shouldn't be dating
Posted: 6/9/2016 5:01:06 PM
She does have a point.
I mean, how hard it it to click not single/not looking?
Then again, he gets hit on everywhere.. so wtf do I know>
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 106
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/9/2016 10:38:41 PM
I would not agree to a first meet with someone who had to travel 2 hours and two hours back in the first instance. As for offering to pay the whole bill I would not do that either and I doubt many men would expect it or accept it. I have however bought small desserts for us both plus my own coffee on a meet that was not going to progress as I didnt feel he should pay for everything.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 107
No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 6:49:35 AM
Here's a big booger for the man hating slob.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 108
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 7:13:58 AM

She does have a point.
I mean, how hard it it to click not single/not looking?


Not hard to click however, it isn't that clear cut as not single/not looking is located under marital status and not under intent. He does state it clearly on the first line of his profile, that should be sufficient, shouldn't it? That's what I do.

I do completely agree with him regarding the first meets. I always kept it short. I did not want to spend an evening with someone that I was not interested in and was even less interested in spending an evening with someone who obviously wasn't interested in me. The last straw occurred years ago when a woman who disliked me as much as I disliked her felt it necessary to fake an emergency phone call to leave. My response was, please take the pizza and leave. My feeling was how stupid was that and...NEVER AGAIN!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 109
No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 10:01:00 AM
"...felt it necessary to fake an emergency phone call to leave."

You could've played along and ask her who is having the crisis, and say to her "I can see you're upset about the emergency, so let me take you to the hospital to see (person's name), since you're in no emotional state to drive (or person's house if she claims it's an emergency at home). If you need emotional support, I'm willing to stay overnight to be there for you."
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 110
No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 10:17:09 AM


My response was, please take the pizza and leave.


When a Miss Prim n' Propper excuses her self from our date, I smugly tell her that I'm going to remain behind and wait for my next date.

The look on that Ice Queen's face is priceless...
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 111
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 12:00:42 PM

You could've played along and ask her who is having the crisis, and say to her "I can see you're upset about the emergency,


To be honest,ten more minutes with her and the emergency room would have been needed by me, I would have stuck a knife in my throat.


When a Miss Prim n' Propper excuses her self from our date, I smugly tell her that I'm going to remain behind and wait for my next date.

The look on that Ice Queen's face is priceless...


I should have and to top it off I should have added that the second date was only suppose to be drinks but since we didn't eat much she can have pizza too.

I think what pissed me off the most about it is that I knew within 10 seconds that it wasn't going to work and didn't have the balls to say," you know what this is not a good match let's say goodbye and see if we can salvage our evening doing something else"
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 112
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 1:10:44 PM

So in mid 2009 you met the lady you're with now but in Dec 2010( 1.5 years later) you joined this site?


Holy cow you don't like to miss any details, do you?

I was on the site seriously for 3 years (2006 to 2009) before I met the lady I'm with now and went on a ton of dates. I completely removed myself when things became serious and I put myself back on in 2010 as I wanted to still post to the forums. I used to be "Silverhawk" and when I came back on in 2010 I created a new profile called "Silverhawk_tkn".....tkn short for "taken". I didn't pay much attention to the "looking for a relationship" section and simply haven't adjusted anything since 2010.

If it does create a bee in your bonnet - I'll change it just for you. I think the remainder of the profile is quite clear that I've found someone and am not interested in dating, no?
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 113
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 1:44:29 PM

Holy cow you don't like to miss any details, do you?


I wouldn't sweat it. It is basically what she does. She picks something out and then attacks. She will read the profile, the history of posting and then start picking. It just happens to be your turn.
 iibigbootycutieii
Joined: 4/11/2016
Msg: 114
No Dinner
Posted: 6/10/2016 3:09:00 PM
I won't do dinner again.....I actually felt like a dinner whore because once meeting them I wasn't attracted right away....not my fault imo....if a guy wears a hat in his online pics then shows up with a half bald conehead and happens to actually be 10 years younger then he claimed.......LOL I did offer to split the check, he refused. I can see from a guys perspective who wants to dish out $50 bucks for a date that probably won't go anywhere....I always say lets meet at a park...it's free....but then now this new guy always wants to meet...first the park....then talk in his car on his break....then sit in my back yard.......LOL three meets and he didn't spend a penny.....haha
 WhereforeAndWhyNot
Joined: 1/26/2016
Msg: 115
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No Tickee, No Dinner
Posted: 6/12/2016 10:29:18 AM

“wear a low cut top, and we won't even notice your eye colour.”


ROTF! Heck, we might even buy you the dinner we asked you out for, without whining about it. :-D




“If she is 30 minutes late, the date is off”


Geez—a bit severe, doncha think? What if she had a flat tire, and got stuck in an ATT dead zone? At least give her a chance to explain…..



“the usual cuckolds have come to your defense.”


Wow—bait much?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 116
No Dinner, just dessert
Posted: 6/13/2016 6:40:22 AM

As for offering to pay the whole bill I would not do that either and I doubt many men would expect it or accept it. I have however bought small desserts for us both plus my own coffee on a meet that was not going to progress as I didnt feel he should pay for everything.


It doesn't happen often to me. But a few women offered to pay the entire bill on a first date for various reasons. One woman even paid while I was in the restroom. I wasn't expecting it. But if she really wanted to pay, I'm not going to argue with her.


For my first dates, I always did a coffee "fly-by". I always insisted on a quick 15 minute meet in a public coffee shop just to do an initial meet and greet and see if the lady was honest about her pics and whether there was some initial chemistry before I even thought of a dinner date or something more involved.


I never liked having rigid time limits on my first dates / meetings. Play it by ear see how it goes. I'm not going to rule out someone out after 15-20 minutes just because there wasn't instant chemistry. Even when there isn't enough physical attraction / interest, I could still often enjoy the activity and make the most of it for about a hour so. If it turns into a really bad date / meeting ( which was rare ), then I can end it early.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 117
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No Dinner, just dessert
Posted: 6/13/2016 7:38:06 AM

I never liked having rigid time limits on my first dates / meetings. Play it by ear see how it goes. I'm not going to rule out someone out after 15-20 minutes just because there wasn't instant chemistry. Even when there isn't enough physical attraction / interest, I could still often enjoy the activity and make the most of it for about a hour so. If it turns into a really bad date / meeting ( which was rare ), then I can end it early.


EXACTLY ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

LOL I have noooo idea why MY personal experience from OLD sites, from initial contact to meeting face to face, approx 150 times, over approx 4 years, differs greatly from many here.
I don't recall ever being "stood-up". Every man looked like his pic. If anything was off, it was his true intent to meet me.

And the shortest "meet date" (LOL, aside from Casino ditchin' guy) was perhaps an hour. He informed me at the 30 min mark, we were going into overtime. I laughed, and said, "You're free to leave at any time". He did leave 30 min later. AND then contacted me a week later, "Id like to see you again", .............."Uh, sorry, not interested."

Well over a hundred dinner/lunch/brunch dates. They/I managed to survive my/their charming company, LMAO!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 118
No Dinner, just dessert
Posted: 6/13/2016 7:45:09 AM
" I have noooo idea why MY personal experience from OLD sites, from initial contact to meeting face to face, approx 150 times, over approx 4 years, differs greatly from many here. "

>>>Sure you do--I don't even know you and I can guess why :) You're seeking something far different than the average bear. They find what they are looking for, and you found what you are looking for. I think you were just bein' facisious (sic) :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 119
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No Dinner, just dessert
Posted: 6/13/2016 8:15:28 AM
Haha GTO. My experience was different from the stand point of, "being stood-up", or the person you meet looks nothing like their pic, or bad "dinner" dates. Etc.
THAT kind of "differs". Not the end result,

So what's wrong with "average bears"?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 120
No Dinner, just dessert
Posted: 6/13/2016 11:46:59 AM

something far different than the average bear.


I resemble that remark.
 5__Jo
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 121
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/25/2016 1:50:04 PM
Meeting at a park, coffee shop, or book store is simply a meet and greet so you can see if the person looks good enough in person (and similar enough to their profile) that you'd want to go out with them on a real date and spend some time with them. I just say no to these meet and greets...I think those that usually take these "dates"—on the average—have likely exaggerated in their profiles and/or are using pics that look nothing like they do now. Meet at a book store...bwhahaha...way to set the tone for what to expect going forward.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 122
No Dinner
Posted: 6/27/2016 7:11:55 AM
So, you don't want a M&G to see if they lied on their profile. Does that mean you take a chance on the first date, and not having it ruined with a liar?

as for average bears, even Yogi didn't want to be one :) no, seriously, average isn't bad, its what most people are. by definition.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 123
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/27/2016 12:37:13 PM

Meeting at a park, coffee shop, or book store is simply a meet and greet so you can see if the person looks good enough in person


It is exactly what it is. It is also more than seeing if they look like their pictures. I have met people that I found attractive but knew within a few minutes that there wasn't a connection. I was much more comfortable with the 15 minute open ended meet and greet. The last first date I had was like this. We started at the bar for a M&G and finished 3 hours later.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 124
No Dinner
Posted: 6/27/2016 1:37:43 PM
I can think of a couple of former posters off hand (I'm sure there are more) who would never do a simple, inexpensive meet and greet to see if there's a connection. They want the first meet to be a dinner date, and would consider a guy an el cheapo-which would be a deal breaker-if he didn't want to dole out the money for dinner and drinks on someone he has never met in person.
 5__Jo
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 125
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No Dinner
Posted: 6/27/2016 2:39:33 PM
gto - I think I do a pretty good job of communicating before meeting in person to determine if the person is being honest...and likely, I've also maybe had good luck. I haven't had anyone who totally catfished me or was so far from their pics/age/etc that it was a problem. I like to go into a date with the attitude that the person is not a liar. However, if I were to show for a date and find out the person was nothing as advertised, I'd likely just tell him this wasn't going to work and not bother to even have a drink. Then, if I were at a place I wanted to have drinks and/or a meal, I'd proceed to do so solo. :-) I have no problem going out solo and have done so all over the world.

I did have one date who lied about his height...I wore 3" heels intentionally (as many men are uncomfortable when a woman is taller then they are) - so that should have put us about the same height. But no...I towered over him with my shortest heels. Now...he was nice, and we did have drinks and dinner, but I told him from the get go that I knew it wouldn't go any further. Why? Not necessarily his height...it was the fact that he was VERY insecure about his height and commented on it at least 5 times in the first 20 minutes of our date and that made me uncomfortable for him...I have no attraction to insecure men whatsoever.

As far as "taking a chance"—don't we all take a chance on every first date? My "on the average" comment had nothing to do with an average person, but an average situation. That situation being that those who feel the need to take meet and greets are likely seeing if they can pass the test—the test being if they can pass as the person they have suggested they are (with BS info and old or fake photos), but aren't. I don't need to pass a test. I am who I say I am and I look like my pics, with my most recent pics being only a few months old.
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