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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go furt      Home login  
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 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 26
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
eatliftlaugh- You actually managed to find the reason OLD is so despised by many.
I absolutely will NOT do a meet and greet.
I don't give a damn if I get to be a hundred, have 50 cats and school children tell story's about me and avoid my house.
People are human beings.
If you can't find SOMETHING to talk about, if you think you are too good to go on an actual date, if you think you are so special that you can even "audition" someone to start with, you just told me you are the exact opposite of what I want.
My God, brush up your social skills, suck it up and TALK to people, even if you realize within two seconds of meeting someone that they aren't for you, it is NOT going to kill you to be decent and talk to them!
Christ, either I'm crazy or everyone else is.
Some body, anybody, PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this "meet and greet/audition" mindset is a bunch of crap, pretty please!
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 27
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 7:44:40 AM

Some body, anybody, PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this "meet and greet/audition" mindset is a bunch of crap, pretty please


I know the reasons why some people prefer the quick coffee date / "meet and greet". However I had some relationships and/or good dates that started off somewhat slow and awkward. If I had ended the dates after 20 minutes like what many people here would do, these things wouldn't have happened.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 28
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 8:03:56 AM

I know the reasons why some people prefer the quick coffee date / "meet and greet". However I had some relationships and/or good dates that started off somewhat slow and awkward. If I had ended the dates after 20 minutes like what many people here would do, these things wouldn't have happened.


Even when there isn't enough physical attraction / interest for another date, I can often still have a cordial conversation, enjoy the activity, and make the most of it for about a hour. I rarely had a first date / meeting that lasted only 20-30 minutes.
 earwigs_have_wings
Joined: 10/16/2014
Msg: 29
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 9:32:19 AM
Countless times. Too much attraction mismatch. With the men who I was attracted to and had things in common with all they wanted was to be fwb's or some of them were pushy to have sex (they probably do this with every woman---I am not the exception) which put me off. I would tell them we should get to know each other a bit more and not have sex on the first or second meet. They disagreed. It's hard to take OLD seriously.

I have slowed down the number of meets I go on and even put them off because it seems no matter how many meets I go on it never goes anywhere (anywhere being what I want which is a meaningful ltr with mutual respect). When two people have different intents it doesn't work.

Quite a few men I've met were either married/attached, in love with their ex, skirt chasers or all three.
 EatLiftLaugh
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 30
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 10:08:19 AM
Is OLD an acronym for something? I feel like this isn't making sense to me!
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 31
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 12:37:54 PM
^^^^^

OLD is on line dating

IRL is in real life

LTR is long term relationship

BTW, a (first) meet is a meet, not a date. When I meet a lady IRL the first time we see each other and chat it is a meet, not a date. The same thing goes for OLD.

Now if the meet turns into going to dinner, a walk, whatever, at that point it becomes a first date.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 32
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/1/2016 6:49:35 PM
eatliftlaugh- OLD is online dating.
I can't blame you for being confused.
There are people who insist on calling dates a meet, I refuse to call a date anything BUT a date, but that's already been covered in another thread.
Put your seat belt on-these forums are, um.........interesting! ;D
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 33
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 7:11:44 AM

BTW, a (first) meet is a meet, not a date. When I meet a lady IRL the first time we see each other and chat it is a meet, not a date. The same thing goes for OLD.

Now if the meet turns into going to dinner, a walk, whatever, at that point it becomes a first date.


I still think it's about intent. A planned engagement with someone from OLD is to see if there is any romantic interest. Unlike a random encounter or a platonic meeting with someone. If the date / meeting ends up just having drinks for about a hour, then it is simply a ( blind ) casual date. From I have seen, it's mostly some people on the forums that claim it is a "meet". Most people I have talked to about OLD consider the first meeting to be a date. To each their own.
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 34
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 7:37:02 AM

I still think it's about intent. A planned engagement with someone from OLD is to see if there is any romantic interest. That's not necessarily the case with a random encounter with someone you see in public. If the date / meeting ends up having coffee or drinks, then it is simply a ( blind ) casual date. From I have seen, it's mostly some people on the forums that claim it is a "meet". Most people I have talked to about OLD consider the first meeting to be a date. To each their own.


Yeesh, No wonder OLD doesn't work for many-it appears some can't even agree if the first time we set eyeballs on a person is a date or a meet. lol

I mean does it really matter if we call it a Meet or a Date?
I originally said I call it a meet and don't consider it a first date...based up my personal experiences...but honestly, if the person I agree to meet wants to call it a first date...whatever, I don't care...what matters more to me is that they show up!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 35
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 7:57:28 AM

Yeesh, No wonder OLD doesn't work for many-it appears some can't even agree if the first time we set eyeballs on a person is a date or a meet. lol I mean does it really matter if we call it a Meet or a Date?


I don't lose sleep over what someone wants to call it. LOL. It was just an observation about some people on the forums having a different viewpoint than myself and most people I know. As long as we can agree about what to do and the other person reasonably looks like their pictures, then that's a good start.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 36
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:07:32 AM
There's gotta be at least a 1% chance of sex happening.

0%? I'm won't agree to the...DATE.

0% scenarios -

She calls it a MEET!

She mentions going out of town a few days after our scheduled date.

She mentions her other plans immediately after our meet/date.

She lives a half hour away, or more, and doesn't live alone.

Coffee & Lunch Dates.

No Alcohol.

Now, I'm sure the PUAs (i.e. see height thread) will counter this, but this is my general guideline for agreeing to a...DATE.

VOTE NO ON ZERO CHANCE OF SEX DATES!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 37
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:21:31 AM
Why waste a lot of time on a " date" if there is nothing in common. Calling it a first meet works for me, if you like each other then you plan a date "_
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 38
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:23:19 AM
^^^^^^^ ( msg 36 )

"Now, I'm sure the PUA will counter this"



Which one are you referring to ?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 39
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:26:35 AM

Which one are you referring to ?


OMG, We have more than one?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 40
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:27:23 AM

Why waste a lot of time on a " date" if there is nothing in common. Calling it a first meet works for me, if you like each other then you plan a date "_


I call it a date, not a meet. To me a meet does not have romantic intentions, while a date does. If there's incompatibility, so be it, but it was tested because it was a date. A meet, to me leaves the door open about being friends, or just being part of a group and so forth.

So I want it to be very clear of WHY we may be getting together.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 41
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:32:13 AM
When I meet someone for the first time it is to see if there's any point in pursuing anything romantic.

If there is , then we go on a date in the near future.

I prefer going for a walk n talk for a first meet.

If that's a date , it's a pretty lame date.

But , as I say, it's not a date, it's a meet to determine if there is chemistry, a spark, whatever ya wanna call it.


I can't determine this by messaging or talking on the phone since, as most would agree :

It's not real UNTIL you meet.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 42
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:54:19 AM

But , as I say, it's not a date, it's a meet to determine if there is chemistry, a spark, whatever ya wanna call it.


Agreed, I would not commit to anything more than a meet the first time. I like to think it had options if we clicked but I also like to think if it was a disaster I could bail without wasting my time and her time. There were a few one and dones but luckily it was one hour and done and not one evening and done.

As far as sex on the first meet...zero chance, aint happening I had no interest in having sex with someone the first time I met them and I definitely had no interest in having sex with someone that was willing to have sex with someone they just met.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 43
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:06:33 AM
"As far as sex on the first meet...zero chance, aint happening I had no interest in having sex with someone the first time I met them and I definitely had no interest in having sex with someone that was willing to have sex with someone they just met."



Agreed. It's good if we want to boink eachother from the get go but if a woman let me the first time I met her it would be hard not to wonder how often she jumped in the ol sackaroo right off the bat.

Icky
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 44
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:29:34 AM
Calling it a date doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time or money. If there isn't enough mutual romantic interest, then it's simply a date that didn't work out. In my viewpoint, a "meet" has platonic intentions.
 2016summer2016
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 45
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:33:20 AM
I have been using OLD on off for about 5 years. Been on about 12 dates and have had 1 LTR that didnt work out. None of the other ones made it to a second date.

Also, is it possible that these men want to boink you soon because they like you and feel like its the best chance of keeping you around? I wouldnt assume that shes a hoe, I would assume that she just likes me alot too.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 46
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How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:51:14 AM

Msg. 40: I call it a date, not a meet. To me a meet does not have romantic intentions, while a date does. If there's incompatibility, so be it, but it was tested because it was a date. A meet, to me leaves the door open about being friends, or just being part of a group and so forth. So I want it to be very clear of WHY we may be getting together.

It seems you have a “Date or Bust” view of meeting women. For me, that wouldn’t work because I can’t tell before I meet someone whether we’ll date, become friends or acquaintances, or never see each other again.

In response to the opening post, there was/is enough interest about a third of the time to see each other again. I usually call it a meet because most of the time we meet but decide not to date.

Msg. 42: I had no interest in having sex with someone the first time I met them and I definitely had no interest in having sex with someone that was willing to have sex with someone they just met.

Msg. 43: Agreed. It's good if we want to boink eachother from the get go but if a woman let me the first time I met her it would be hard not to wonder how often she jumped in the ol sackaroo right off the bat.

^^^ Many women, including me, think the same thing about men. Thank you both for posting. :)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 47
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:55:10 AM


I wouldnt assume that shes a hoe, I would assume that she just likes me alot too.


+1

This rake is low maintenance :)

I should have made sure we were altar material before saying yes to her.

Please dear god forgive me, for I have sinned...

Apparently someone that shags after 3-4 dates isn't as prolific as a 1st-2nd date shagger.

YMMV

 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 48
How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 10:00:01 AM
If a woman has sex with a man, with-in hours of meeting him and that makes her a hoe, doesn't that make him a rake?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 49
How many times have you deluded yourself with your MASSIVE ego ?
Posted: 6/2/2016 10:04:27 AM
"I wouldnt assume that shes a hoe, I would assume that she just likes me alot too"



IOW rather than consider that if she slept with you on the first date she may have done it before , possibly more than once....you'd rather think " she NEVER does this, she's making an exception because I'm just so gosh dern irresistible " because that's more realistic ?


lol - good luck with that ...and double bag it
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 50
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How many times have you gone out on a first date with a 0% chance of sex happening?
Posted: 6/2/2016 10:10:52 AM

I wouldnt assume that shes a hoe, I would assume that she just likes me alot too.


Really? So you think she likes you enough, in what a couple of hours, that she wants to sleep with you? I know that in the first couple of hours I learn about three things that later on can be proved incorrect, I learn if I am attracted to her and she to me, If she is relatively intelligent and whether or not she has any social skills. None of what I learned is enough to tell me that I want to jump in the sack with her. I assume she is thinking the same way.

If she likes me that much in a couple of hours, how many others has she liked that much in the last few months, weeks, hours...no thanks.



^^^ Many women think the same thing about men.
I always assumed they did, even more so than most men.


doesn't that make him a rake?
....Absolutely.
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