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 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 76
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I dont think a woman who has sex with a virtual stranger on a first date is being selective in fact.
Not to say that she would do it often though. I think some women will have sex if they are horny and not really wanting to have any sort of serious relationship with the guy and perhaps not see him again.



I think we have different meanings of the word selective.


The point is a woman that had sex on the first date and/or casual sex a few times may have turned down many other opportunities for it even when she is horny. That's what I meant by selective.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 77
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/6/2016 7:28:55 AM

Even when a woman is open to having casual sex and/or sex on the first date, she can be still be very selective about whom and when to have it. Doesn't mean she does this often.


I think we have different meanings of the word selective.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 78
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/6/2016 8:04:45 AM
for over a decade, I knew a woman who as the voting line used to go, put out "early and often". I figured it was b/c she was easy, since the lucky recipients weren't what one would really call "men". Turns out, she was rather selective--she only wanted a certain type of male, and used sex to win him over easily. and lose him just as easily.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 79
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/6/2016 10:10:10 AM

My first date recently did not like my use of the word close as in "I feel close to my family......" and before the sentence was finished he exploded with "Liar" ---- his preception of close is geographically close. My preception included email, skype, Facebook, phone etc.

Wow, that guy's off in his own bubble! :)

Even when a woman is open to having casual sex and/or sex on the first date, she can be still be very selective about whom and when to have it. Doesn't mean she does this often.

That's true. However, when we're mall-watching at the bar, and a guy who's nicely dressed approaches a gal, talks to her, and walks out with her at 12:30AM both touching each other, etc -- we'll make assumptions. That he does that a lot, a player, they're going to fool around, etc. -- to some degree. When people are weary of guys or girls being too easy or sleazy, they're going to err on the side that it does. Not that they'd necessarily bet $100 that they "do that all the time" if one put things in perspective for them. It's just that one is going to assume that if they bet $10 on 10 situations like that, they'd come out making money, not losing money.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 80
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/6/2016 12:23:57 PM
It's normal to meet a lot of people who aren't right for you - most won't be a match. Dating is the relentless search for that needle in the haystack.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 81
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/6/2016 5:26:13 PM
how many times have I gone out on a first date and that was it...
I think 6 since my divorce
nice enough guys

but no chemistry
 Cindi_loo
Joined: 11/3/2015
Msg: 82
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/8/2016 10:37:08 AM
I tend to be really careful and have only met up with or gone on a date with about 10 people I met online. Of those ten, I've only gone on one second date. However, I ended up leaving that date early and knowing I didn't want to see him again. I thought he was a nice guy and there seemed to be a flicker of a connection, but we wanted different lifestyles, so it just didn't make sense to go any further.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 83
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/13/2016 6:59:33 AM

It seems you have a “Date or Bust” view of meeting women. For me, that wouldn’t work because I can’t tell before I meet someone whether we’ll date, become friends or acquaintances, or never see each other again.


Once in a while, a person might end up becoming friends with someone they met from OLD. But most of the time ( from personal experience and what I have heard from other people's experiences ), when there isn't instant chemistry or interest in a potential relationship, then that person won't be interested in seeing you again in any capacity. Whether it was hanging out as friends or going out on another date to see if the chemistry can develop over time.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 84
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/13/2016 7:43:51 AM
Maybe a dozen. Several went to a second date, several went to a third, one went 7 months, the most recent is ongoing, over six months right now.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 85
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/13/2016 12:42:25 PM

Once in a while, a person might end up becoming friends with someone they met from OLD. But most of the time ..... when there isn't instant chemistry or interest in a potential relationship, then that person won't be interested in seeing you again in any capacity.

Yeah, I agree. OLD isn't a place to make acquaintances and make new platonic friends. People go to Meetup.com, facebook for mutual friends, or friend finder for that. Online Dating sites are "Date or Bust", and properly so. That's the intent, and that's what people properly use it for. As with anything else in life, you could end up having a friend or acquaintance come out of anything -- like a blind date setup by someone you know that didn't go well, but you oddly became friends. But that's not to be expected or aimed for at all -- any more than picking up a chick at a family reunion (sure, could happen with cousins who hit up one of their friends to swing on by later on).
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 86
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/14/2016 1:44:00 PM
About 4 out of 10 went farther than one date. But that's over a span of 38 years.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 87
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/15/2016 12:02:36 PM
15 didn't, though for many of those there was talk of a second date, sometimes a specific day and time and place but they cancelled.

12 did.

My last 3 are in the didn't category. One flaked rudely, behaving as if she didn't remember our plans for a second date. Had an errand today where she works; probably for the best she wasn't there. One there was zero chemistry and I did not communicate with her in any way since. One it's possible we see each other again but I'm not getting up my hopes.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 88
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/15/2016 3:33:26 PM

How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?


Maybe around 70? Unless a follow-up message saying "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship, but we could fool around..." counts as going further.

Not sure why I stopped meeting people off here?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 89
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/15/2016 5:20:15 PM

Maybe around 70? Unless a follow-up message saying "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship, but we could fool around..." counts as going further.

I would say what'd translate into "further" would be having something equivalent to having a 2nd date/meeting after that 1st date. Pretty much having a 2nd date, although you could technically say you both had mutual interest and solid plans to see each other, fruitfully communicated for many many days as scheduling pushed another date back -- but much later when the 2nd date was about to be had, something fell thru. All in all, pretty much some sort of 2nd date.

70 no-follow-thru? Out of how many? 70's a lot. If you were like, "out of about 200," then that'd be understandable. :)

IMO, if one racks up a good amount of dates, I would suspect "par" would hinge on how fruitfully you two talked. If it was a quick-exchange-lets-just-meet, then I would expect the % to be low around 25% that one would end up having a follow-thru. If chatting a decent amount before you two could, and it got passed the fizzle-out stage that happens, and you had that 1st date, I would say "par" would be around 50%.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 90
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/15/2016 5:30:01 PM
I'm thinking back... Out of about a hundred? Maybe only about five or ten went any further, come to think of it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 91
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 7:19:35 AM
Only 10-15% of my first dates / meetings went to a second date. There were instances when I had discussed going out on another date with a woman. But it never happened due to various reasons.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 92
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 7:58:19 AM
And how many have been on 4 that went no further?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 93
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 12:28:26 PM

clooneystutor
And how many have been on 4 that went no further?


I'm curious why you're asking about "4 dates and no further"? I don't offhand remember any specific instance where 4 was the cutoff. Most of the time, it's one and done, occasionally two and done. The ones that go beyond 2 usually go a lot further than 4.

YMMV
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 94
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 12:56:56 PM

Only 10-15% of my first dates / meetings went to a second date.

Out of how many? Like batting average, one can give a false impression when it's too few at-bats (average could be way higher or lower than their batting ability). If it's out of 100 like WBaby's, that's more than enough. If that's the case, I'd say "Whoah, you're approaching things wrong here." Unless all you wanted was a ONS anyway. ;)

There were instances when I had discussed going out on another date with a woman.

Yeah, never do that on a first date. Never talk about going out on dates with a woman to your date. Unless you're asking her to join in fantasy 3-somes. ;)

Kidding of course -- I know what you mean. If you had an actual Discussion about a 2nd date, then I would find it weird that it'd have a high % drop-off. If it's mentioned at the end of the date and she nods yes, then I can see that not holding much water anyway.

I'm curious why you're asking about "4 dates and no further"? I don't offhand remember any specific instance where 4 was the cutoff.

I don't think he was alluding to cut-offs per se, I think it's that once you get past 4, it will likely be like what you say anything beyond 2 goes at. So, the question is -- what is one's batting average of things falling-thru after you've had roughly a handful of dates (4), and Not becoming an item?

Me: I'd guess 66/33 if having had 4 good dates, more like 50/50 if the 4th date was just like the 2nd & 3rd.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 95
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 1:35:54 PM

I'm curious why you're asking about "4 dates and no further"?


I always fancy myself as a detective in a previous life. I always guess who done it in the first 5 minutes and have about a 90 percent hit ratio.
Let me take a stab here. Clooney's face had vanished from his profile recently. People tend to do this when they have met somebody they are serious about. It surfaced again. I did make a comment asking if he got dumped and he responded he was the dumper...so let me guess Clooney's latest swim in the POF dating pond lasted 4 dates. Yes, it is a slow day at work
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 96
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 1:51:56 PM
"so let me guess Clooney's latest swim in the POF dating pond lasted 4 dates. Yes, it is a slow day at work"

Maybe, but my guess was an allusion to the "3 date rule".

I guess only Clooney can say for sure.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 97
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How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 2:09:15 PM
^^^^ Could be. I always thought you were suppose to get some on the third date. So if you were shut out there wouldn't be a 4th date, unless you think it is after the third date....you could be right.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 98
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/16/2016 7:12:55 PM

Out of how many? Like batting average, one can give a false impression when it's too few at-bats (average could be way higher or lower than their batting ability). If it's out of 100 like WBaby's, that's more than enough. If that's the case, I'd say "Whoah, you're approaching things wrong here." Unless all you wanted was a ONS anyway. ;)


About 60 first dates / meetings. Largely from Match. I think some of these women that I did discuss going on another date with decided that they weren't ready or available for a possible relationship. Or they went out with another man they liked a little bit better.

I rarely ask a woman out on a second date during the first date. That would probably increase the amount of times a woman would agree to a second date that never happens. Some women would probably say yes because they don't want to reject a man face to face.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 99
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/17/2016 7:04:28 AM

About 60 first dates / meetings. Largely from Match.


I will also add that I never had a second date with a woman from POF. If I just included the women I had first dates / meetings with from Match, then percentage of these dates going to a second date is about 20%. Overall I think 10%-30% of first dates going to a second date is normal. If the percentage is lower than that and a person had dozens or hundreds of first dates / meetings, then maybe a person has extremely high expectations or they are doing something during these dates that is a dealbreaker to the other person.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 100
How many times have you gone out on a first date that did not go further?
Posted: 6/17/2016 9:24:33 AM
How many went on 3rd dates knowing there would be no 4th on the 1st?
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