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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?      Home login  
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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 193
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Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I don't think I thought it was more serious than she was.

I think the key is "it was", not "she was".

I told her we should just be dating casually because she had kids that didn't want anyone new moving in or spending a lot of time there. She was the one that always pushed it to be the boyfriend and girlfriend status.

Okay, the first sentence sheds light on this. And it wasn't. Just because a gal thru time -- even if she's a FWB -- expresses wanting something serious, it's not until it is. Mixed feelings obviously abound on her part, but you were fine being not-serious due to the circumstances. Even when people are not-serious/FWB/etc, spending time together over time will make it not Too casual, no matter what you label it. But, compared to a "real" Solidified Relationship, it won't be serious either.

So it shouldn't be a shocker that one of them wants to end it at some point if it's been going on for too long. Or, in this case, try the hand in something serious at the very end, but, well, it just doesn't fit right.

I had the impression that we weren't that serious, but she started getting jealous if I was chatting to women that lived in different continents. Why would she care if she wasn't serious?

Why Wouldn't they? I can like a girl at a bar and have feelings of jealousy if another dude starts macking on her and she rolls with it. I haven't even Talked to her yet! :) And on a 1st date -- even if I'm not That into the gal, yeah, I'm going to feel jealous if she's flirting with the waiter. Don't use that as a measuring stick.

If I'm FWB with a gal, unless I really feel she's on my jock too strong too frequently, I Don't want to see her chatting/flirting with some guy. So even if you're not a serious item -- and not too much a bf/gf -- one's Obviously going to not want them chasing other tail. It doesn't require deep feelings or romanticism for that.

That said, your example of you just chatting with a chick online -- over-jealousy... yeah she had that. Doesn't require a serious relationship for that to come out. Her thinking probably wasn't So focused on you pen-paling a cute chick from another continent, but more like -- if he's going out of his way to do that, he does have an 'open for business' sign up.

the impression I got was that she let her kids walk all over her for quite a while and when they became teenagers she needed help controlling them and left me when she saw I wasn't there to fix the situation.

Could be. I think she needed help living as close to a 'real' life with those teens bringing boatloads of drama. Either helping her deal with the kids -- or helping her cope with such a crazy home situation with teens. But, your relationship wasn't serious. Sounds more like 1-on-1 FWB -- which IS going out if it continues over some time, but it's still in the mere "just dating" zone.

Mr. Trebek was also abducted by said aliens and taken back to his home planet Melmac for a much needed vacation with a good friend. Mr. Sajak took a break from Wheel of Fortune to fill in for him.

OMG, I am So not up to speed on this! I had no idea Alex Trebek is related to Alf, as he's from Melmac, too! But you are the (cute) nerd, so that should come as no surprise. :)
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 194
Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 8/17/2018 11:52:18 AM

If I'm FWB with a gal, unless I really feel she's on my jock too strong too frequently, I Don't want to see her chatting/flirting with some guy.

I love it! "We are not an item or anything... and I'm not committed to you... but don't be going around giving up my *** to other men!"
 Nathan38416
Joined: 11/18/2017
Msg: 195
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Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 8/23/2018 8:06:26 PM
I've been ghosted by people but I'd never actually been on a date with them so I don't know if it counts. I can be talking to someone online and they'll just stop replying. I remember talking to a girl in November last year and we got on really well. I broached the subject of going on a date together maybe three times in the entire time we were talking, she kept putting it off. Anyway in February she agreed to go on a first date with me, three days before the date she just ghosted me. Blocked me on here, blocked me on Facebook. That honestly made me feel like shit. We may not have met but it still stung like a ****.

It happened again three weeks ago. We only spoke for a few hours one night, we got on well, we had mutual interested and she said she'd get back to me the next day. Never did, haven't heard from her since.

I'd honestly just prefer to be told they're not interested. It'll suck to hear, but it's better than being blanked with no explanation why. You start to doubt yourself, question what it was you did wrong. It's not a nice feeling.
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 196
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Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 8/24/2018 5:20:08 AM
^I have told women not interested, no sexual attraction some are fine with it others dig with why not? Or think I am playing hard to get or something, they don't grasp the statements. A lady had been "chasing" me for awhile without me giving her any sign at all to being attracted to her, she got verbally abusive and violent even assaulted me with a weapon. How is that ghosting/disappearing idea looking now pretty fvcking good if you ask me. I am the fvcking guy with 2 cracked ribs cause a woman wouldn't accept a not interested, oh yeah loving the dating scene it's to die for.

Here is the kicker for you highly intelligent lady with University degree her own business real prize for some guy I think. Provided her gets by her physical abuse, and verbal abuse, belittling, and insults he would have a great woman. Oh weight then comes her actual personality and appearance not my cup a tea but sure there are desperate guys willing somewhere.

Don't doubt yourself think of it as a rejection, it's not you their simply don't want what you offer it's not what they are looking for nothing you can do about it move on.

People beat themselves up way to much but we are our own worst critics aren't we. I left the dating scene as fast as I entered it simply because of the women's attitude, sorry rather leave alone than to be with that shit plain simple.
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