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 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 24
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Purple - if by your comment you meant women like Boo then you need to get your eyes checked.
Now he can whine some more about no women being interested in him
sheesh
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 25
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Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 8:15:35 AM

Purple haze, all in my brain


Somehow, the Hendrix Experience seems as far removed from you as I am from Pluto.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 26
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Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 5:03:47 PM


I'm sure you have...what with all your charm, I can just imagine the places you hang out.


I don't hang out anywhere. I work, I come home. On the weekends, I do my household chores, shop, sometimes, I day ride.

I'm not fond of barflies, or drinking to excess. I avoid charity rides. Last one I went on, five went down in front of me, seven behind. I survived because I'm an old dirt rider. Doing 50 mph in the dirt was a no brainer.

Nothing else happens around here. Next question?
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 27
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 5:27:31 PM
^^^^^^^Proverbial Grumpy old man...you need to lighten up.

I'm a widow....twice over actually. Had a good one and a bad one....marriage that is.
I find, in general.....most men seem to want to move on quickly...whether it be from divorce or being widowed.
Myself, I met my 2nd husband within a year of my first husband passing...wasn't looking, it just happened.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 28
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 5:39:01 PM
charity rides, oh brother. The last two towns I've lived in lay on a familiar motorcycle run, so on the weekends you get the riders who don't ride enough to know WTF. A charity or a poker run attracts them like flies. They'll be the ones who grab the throttle straight on, so their wrist tires out, and so they can't maintain a speed down the road. They slow down, then realize they're getting tailgated, speed up, and then back down below the posted limit again, and then up....and that's assuming they're sober.

I suspect some widowers like to move on quickly b/c marriage showed them what bachelor life was like. Some like "baching it", others like having a mom all over again.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 29
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 5:47:58 PM
And some simply cannot find their meds
Now you hate charity rides?
Are people just sitting across the table hoping
" die first?" Of course not. We aren't within the walls, those bickering couples are prolly still happier than a chubby kid with money in the candy store
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 30
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Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/6/2016 6:49:38 PM

^^^^^^^Proverbial Grumpy old man...you need to lighten up


That's a response I expected. You're just another person that decided I didn't fit into your world. A lot of them never bothered to ask. Or even give me a chance to say anything. "Lighten up" you say? I would just love for someone to explain that term to me. I've had that term told to me many times. I ask in what way, and all I've ever gotten is a dirty look, and no explanation.

My assumption, is that I should just sit and say nothing. I normally do when that's thrown at me.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 7:07:10 AM
now, now, Purple is just being who he is. no airs put on. Isn't "just be you" supposed to be winning advice on getting attraction by the fairer sex?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 32
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 10:31:27 AM
^^^
I like Purple.
I find him physically and mentally attractive - except when he grumbles about fat women and not having no (implied - thin) women interested in him.
If I fit his criteria...

But I don't.
Like many other men, he isn't attracted to overweight women, so I don't even bother sending him an introductory text.
Because why try to entice him with something he doesn't want?
Why hurt myself that way? Uh, no thanks.
I don't need a partner who grumbles about how fat I look or should I really be eating that food or moaning 'if you just lost a few pounds'.
It's very demeaning and demoralizing.
Been there, done that, and promised to watch out for my poor, mending self in the future.

Now, if I'm ever in the area, I'll invite him out to lunch and we can discuss everyone else on POF and life in general. That goes for a few other people as well - including you, GTO.
Because some of you strike me as interesting people who would enrich my life simply by meeting and talking with you.

(See Purple? Women do find you attractive; they simply aren't the woman you are looking for and happen to know it.)

Dating a Recent Widow/Widower

Dating someone who isn't ready for a full-time, permanent, exclusive relationship (like marriage) is perfectly fine -- depending on what you are looking for and what they are looking for. I've gone out with men who were just getting divorced and men who were not anywhere near their wives/girlfriends. Always with the stipulation that the date wasn't about sex; it was about friendship and relaxing and being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.
Because they were men who I did not want to have a relationship with but I enjoyed their company for a short time. Because it was enjoyable to set aside expectations for a while and simply reinforce the idea that they were attractive men and I am an attractive woman - even if not the right partners for each other.

Does that make sense?

Not every date will lead to another, but it should be personally enjoyable if you're not looking for a reason to disqualify him from the lineup. I didn't enjoy the rock concert one guy took me to; but he did and I enjoyed his enjoyment, then later his re-cap of the concert as we had coffee until sunrise. I knew within five minutes that I'd never want to date him again, but he had gone out of his way and so I also went out of my way to make sure we had an enjoyable time. Because, even if we weren't attracted to each other, we were likeable people.

Sometimes you can appreciate how wonderful they are. Sometimes you do fall in love - at least a little.
No guarantees in life.
And, as the Dread Pirate Roberts said: "Life is pain."
Ultimately, it's even fatal! LOL.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 5:25:13 PM
why thank you, 2ufo. I see you're from Texas, so I suppose if we met, i'd forever read your posts with a Texas accent? :) I try to do it with ohenry, who I believe also hails from the Lone Star...sometimes i'd do inner gorilla's post with a speedy gozales voice. made his posts fun, arriba :) lol
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 34
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 10:50:54 PM
Clooney I don't understand why women zero in on your not owning a home as the break point in the deal. You have mentioned this quite a few times.

Some of the guys mentioned the widowed women sobbing ( am exaggerating) over their dead spouse's pictures which are all over. Interesting. All of my family pictures are in the cloud in the sky --not in frames in the house, except for a few I keep of my grown children.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 35
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 11:01:51 PM
As Chromis mentioned elsewhere, it may be the area I'm in.

It's rather affluent.

Lots of botox Bettys and Benz out here.

Owning a home is a financial litmus test for SOME folks.

Some women take a more mature approach and view me as a post-divorced recovering male. No problem with that :)

Perhaps the MBA + Corvette + Apartment just doesn't compute? I dunno.

It is what it is. If they mention they own something in their profile then it's obviously important to them.

But...these ladies are by far NOT the norm:)

I just met an older hot mamma that didn't throw wine in my face.

She's got an MBA and owns 3 homes.

Very touchy feely and kind.

Never married but she's also the wealthiest in her family. Go figure.

First thing she told me on the phone was that she was...52.

So fvckin' what?? She's insecure because I'm younger. I made sure she knew how attractive she was to me.

I'm wining and dining her tomorrow because she's...touchy feely....

Hahahahhaha
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 36
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/7/2016 11:29:48 PM
Clooney I understand now. Thanks for clarifying that. I drive a BMW by the way! Love my car!
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 37
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/8/2016 2:30:54 PM
GTO....

He-yep, I can do two Texas accents.
West Texas and East Texas (which segues into 'Su-then').
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 38
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Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/8/2016 6:36:42 PM

gtomustang
why thank you, 2ufo. I see you're from Texas, so I suppose if we met, i'd forever read your posts with a Texas accent? :) I try to do it with ohenry, who I believe also hails from the Lone Star...sometimes i'd do inner gorilla's post with a speedy gozales voice. made his posts fun, arriba :) lol


Yep, I'm from Texas. Born and raised in East Texas, been in and around Houston since 1972 working in the oil business. And yes, I have an East Texas drawl, which is different from a southern accent, although I do say "ya'll".

On the subject of widows, particularly recent widows -- I think most of them have a better opinion of marriage and relationships than divorced people. But as any with group of people, they are individuals, and don't adhere to whatever stereotypes you might have in your mind. You just have to take them as they are.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 39
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/10/2016 5:00:19 PM
LOL, I had it in my head, what to write here, then I read everything.
Bounce, hop, skip, jump................Okey dokey!

Many moons ago I mentioned a middle aged/ older gentleman, early 60's, friend of my daughter-in-laws', parents.
?Approx 18 mo. ago, his wife of 38 years, died rather quickly from cancer.. (They had just moved into a brand new house, on the river.) He was contacted by a former high school classmate, 3 weeks after his wife's death, as a matter of sympathy. A few weeks later he goes out to Colorado, to see this woman, and within 6 months they get married. Friends and family, (his children) were appalled.
He and his wife had been happily married, and he just simply wanted to continue to live his life as it had been, happily married.
I am told, she moved back here, had his brand new house, gutted, to remove all signs of the deceased wife, and so far they remain happily married. So far..............

Next............It is only my personal opinion with regards to purplerider. LOL, Sorry, purple but I live a stones throw away from you. There is plenty to do, in this here, neck of the woods. I couldn't imagine a lack of things to see or do. And so far, I do believe your whine/whining has garnered you at least 3 offers from women, to meet you? LOL

Charity runs? Bikers tend to be charitable. OMG!!! LOVE'em. Just did a 68 mile charity run today with 701 motorcycles! LOVE LOVE it! From the huge American flag, hung from the fire truck ladders over downtown, to all the people waving from the roadside, the entire route, to flying thru every intersection, because police and fire trucks have blocked the traffic. AND I get a new T-shirt! YAY!

(Pffft Party poopers!)

I say, Ya'll, need to have some fun! (from Michigan, lived in Tennessee for a year or so)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
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Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/10/2016 6:03:55 PM
You went to the burn run. Didja see my ex there?

I'm not fond of riding side by side with anyone. Hence, my dislike of charity rides. Yeah, lots to do, if you like to drink. Wanna be on the outside looking in at those things? Ride a Gold Wing. Then you get to find out what it's like to be alone in a crowd. 68? That was just a mile marker last week on my way to 385. (One day)

Things to do around here depends on what a person sees as fun. I'd rather ride for two hours and not keep track of where I am, then stop and figure it out. Or finish a chore that I ignored. Start a new project. Watching little falcons learn the fine art of flying. It depends on the person, not the event.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 41
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/10/2016 6:32:38 PM
LMAO ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

.............if you like to drink

"like to drink"?

OH brother! Nobody said YOU had to go on a charity run, NOR does one have to drink. Are you suggesting a person can not have fun or enjoy life with out a drink? I never mentioned drinking.
I said, in the area where we live there is plenty to see AND do, that has nothing to do with drinking.

BTW, there were many Honda Gold Wings today, as well as other makes and models, of motorcycles. The Burn Run raises money for children who have been badly burned to go to a summer camp just for them.

I don't care how one finds enjoyment. Just do it.
I do care when one seems to complain day after day/ after month /after year. It gets old.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 42
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/11/2016 10:22:23 AM
^^^
Ragweed pollen.

Just wait 'til cedar season hit.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Dating A Recent Widow/Widower=Bad Idea?
Posted: 7/13/2016 7:26:23 AM
It can be similar to a divorce or an end to a LTR in some ways. It can vary in terms of time and what they are looking for. Some people might be ready to start dating again in about a year while others might need 3-5 years before they are ready to date again. Also some people might be looking for a serious relationship while others are looking for an activity partner and/or casual sex.
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