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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > A NEW queston about an OLD topic......      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dearrancher
Joined: 6/29/2016
Msg: 51
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
"Miss strawberry came on here and posted about lying about her age. And then starts attacking those who disagree.
To each his own I just do not find desparation entitlement and vanity to be attractive traits."

Firstly, Miss Strawnpberry wasn't attacking anyone. She told her story and stated her opinion. And actually, you "attacked" her as well, or were you just stating your opinion? I'm going with stating your opinion, just as she was. I'm sure at 70 years old having some stranger call her entitled and desperate really bugs the hell out of her, lol. Hardly.

And did anyone die when she posted a fake age and then before she met this guy in person she told him her true age? What would some of you do if something actually dire happened in your life? I bet all of you have said things like "oh I like your new hair cut" or "cute baby" or "you don't look 55" or some such thing. None of you would say "what the hell did you do to your hair" or "that might be a cute kid when they get his ears pinned back". Lie by omission? You bet, we all do it. And how about "that is none of your business" which is the perfect reply to "how much do you weigh", "how old are you", "how much do you make", "how much did your car cost" and "do you swallow". Someone I meet on a dating site that has no real vested interest in me and my life has no right to know what only my doctor and my accountant knows. That is, until I'm ready to tell them.

I'm sure there are many men and women out there in cyberland that wish the worst that happened to them was that some man/woman lied about their age.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 52
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 12:41:28 AM
The age lie isn't shocking I.R.L. or O.L.D. since it's so common.

What caught me by surprise once was a woman I took on exactly two dates. I asked her specifically about kids, and she said she had no kids. On the second date I discovered she had two (2) kids that lived with their dad. Her explanation: "They don't LIVE with me!"
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 53
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 5:53:15 AM
Happy for you Strawberry :)
Lying about one's age generally harms no one. I guess all the men who lied about their age to join the military to fight for freedoms during the second war deserved to be killed because, well they lied.
If there is one person on this forum who has never lied I'll eat a shoe
And I am lying about that
I'll take vanity over someone who is sanctimonious.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 54
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 2:31:01 PM
The gravity of any particular lie is usually in proportion to how much they were hurt by it the last time. It's rarely ever the same between people, as we are the sum of our OWN experiences. What's stupid about it - is how humans relate their negativity and fear to others. We insist on believing that pain is equal and relate-able. A bad relationship can be built on hundreds of lies -- but we pick and choose to identify specific areas as "most" hurtful. It's never about a lifetime of false promises and bad experiences - it's not about that thousand pound burden we carry around - it's only that last straw, that apparently broke our back.

People don't (or won't) dig into their OWN pasts, their OWN behaviors, their OWN failures -- and look for patterns - the TRUE reasons behind a relationships' demise - it's always that "ONE" thing. It's easier for our brains to comprehend it that way. After enough wrecked attempts, people get even worse - generalizing others' behaviors across wider patterns to avoid getting hurt. That "one" thing becomes a GENERAL assumption based on initial appearances or vague generalities. One lie, apparently, DOES a liar make.

People need to identify the liar within - namely, the idea that refusing to discuss certain topics with a significant other can be every much as bad as selling a false premise. Refusing to acknowledge fault and flaws in your own choices is another. Trying to control everything about an interaction isn't allowing honesty and truth to happen - it's setting the stage for a show - a theatre - an 'act' representing what people want to see. We aren't giving ourselves OR the other person enough time to prove truth over time and multiple interactions - and making and forgiving mistakes.

People claiming they are "selective" about who they contact are the worst. Everything is banked on that gamble of making THE choice. They have their minds fixated so badly on the final goal that they miss a ton of obvious errors because they believe once they've chosen 'wisely', it's OK to put the blinders on and totally invest their trust. Their single-minded attitude becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy.
 Escape2bfree
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 55
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 3:02:23 PM
I'm a woman, i started lying about my age since i was 13. I will lie about my age forever, fortunately as i get older i struggle to rember my age anyway, I was never good at maths and am sure I am still 21 :p. Old is the only place rude enough to make you say your age, irl I wouldn't expect to disclose it.

On a serious note, 12" = 6-8".

No I dont think it's a big deal. Lying about being single is, saying you own your own business when your in a low income job is, saying your kids are over 18 when they are 3 and 5 is imo
 U21984
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 56
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 3:31:03 PM
Yeah, it's true. I remember saturdays in high school at the mall, 13 yo girls trying to convince us they were 16! ha ha!
Nowadays all the older ladies want you to think they're 16 too!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 57
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 3:39:36 PM

I confess that I cherish privacy


So do I.


but I also know that the future doesn't support it.


They'll have to drag me in kicking and screaming.


Though I think privacy is valuable for its own sake,


It is.

However, if someone is going to state a fact about themselves, it should be the truth, or what's the point of even stating it.
Just don't answer.



I bet all of you have said things like "oh I like your new hair cut" or "cute baby" or "you don't look 55" or some such thing.


Only if it's true.
Otherwise, I say nothing.
I have never been known to give false compliments.


Lying about one's age generally harms no one.


Can I watch when you run that one by the IRS or the SSA?


I guess all the men who lied about their age to join the military to fight for freedoms during the second war deserved to be killed because, well they lied.


Lying for patriotic duty is probably one instance where a lie would be allowed to slide by.


during the second war


Hey, what about the first war??


fortunately as i get older i struggle to rember my age anyway,
No I dont think it's a big deal.


You DO realize that you will get hit with a 50% tax if you don't start withdrawing your IRA money at 70 and 1/2, right?

" If an account owner fails to withdraw a RMD, fails to withdraw the full amount of the RMD, or fails to withdraw the RMD by the applicable deadline, the amount not withdrawn is taxed at 50%."- IRS website.

50% tax sounds like a big deal to me.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 58
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 4:59:49 PM

How far are you willing to take it? I'm not fighting with you here, I am genuinely curious. Usually it is young people, college age and less, who don't value privacy. It is something that I just can't get my head around. For instance:
Would you be okay with surveillance cameras in public rest rooms?

Outside the stalls, sure.
Inside the stalls... I'd probably only use it in an emergency.


Would it be okay if the post office opened, read and censored your mail?

Would they pay my bills? Then sure.
I don't get that much mail and I really wouldn't care.
I actually assume that some nebulous agency reads all my emails.


Is phone tapping a good thing?

It has its place and time.
I'd like a bit more on the circumstances.
Random with special searches for high target words or names? Yes.
One hundred percent tapping of the American public by American agencies? A bit much, I think, but it would get a lot of people employed.


Should the police be allowed to give warrantless cavity searches?
. Warrants required. But detainment with explainable reasons until such time as the warrant is obtained... maybe.


I confess that I cherish privacy...

Me too. But my privacy is not in some item like my id or my email. My privacy is in my thoughts and emotions.

Although, all of the above would irk me should I recognize them happening to me.

Do I get upset if someone asks me a question I consider none of their business?
Not particularly upset, but I have no problems saying 'It's not your concern' or 'Why do you want to know something so personal' or 'what relevance could that possibly have'.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 59
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 5:11:42 PM
Can't pull an Animal Farm re lying
I paid both IRS and CRA, as long as you pay them and file honestly I doubt they care your age.
Your privacy is your thoughts and emotions? What about when you naked in the dressing room and a stranger opens the door? Do you say
" you have seen my bits but not my thoughts?
There is little privacy left in the world, I strive to do a Blank Reg but next Christmas
So, when someone says " like my haircut?" you stare mute?
You ask " is that why you crying?"
I get asked personal Qs all the time... I have tried everything... now I just LIE :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 60
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 5:30:10 PM

she said she had no kids. On the second date I discovered she had two (2) kids that lived with their dad. Her explanation: "They don't LIVE with me!"

Playing devil's advocate -- it may not be AS bad as one may think, depending on the context of the question and the answer. If she doesn't have custody -- no, she doesn't -have- any kids anymore. Of course, she is fibbing or lying to one degree or another, unless your tone/context implied whether she's got kids she currently has custody to any extent with. And hey, sometimes you say "kids" and they certainly aren't teens anymore let alone kids and are far removed from their household -- they think that's what you mean. Especially at an age where having "kids" around the house would be a hindrance to the dating scene.

I guess all the men who lied about their age to join the military to fight for freedoms during the second war

... or men on POF in modern times who lied about their age to increase changes with girls once the 35/45/45/50 year marker hit them. About as honorable of men. ;) But in all seriousness, I agree with your POV -- people need to chill out on the age thing, and take into consideration filters & people jumping the judgment gun on it, especially in the gear of online profile scanning.

IMO, as long as one's told upon meeting if there's a sizable age difference (or not too long after meeting them if the diff isn't huge), and they look the age they said -- one shouldn't get bent out of shape or think conspiracy theory.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 61
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/12/2016 7:41:03 PM
I think some people have so convinced themselves that they are entitled to live outside of the rules that now they think those who abide by them are in the wrong. See Sociopath ( http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html).

But just so you know....you can lie about your age all you want but the large majority of people realize it as a lie and because you are lying and they know it--most kinda figure you for someone with some type of issue --most are sociopaths or in denial and Id rather spend my time having fun with someone than having to constantly reassure someone they still got it.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 62
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 10:04:17 AM

But just so you know....you can lie about your age all you want but the large majority of people realize it as a lie and because you are lying and they know it--most kinda figure you for someone with some type of issue --most are sociopaths or in denial and Id rather spend my time having fun with someone than having to constantly reassure someone they still got it.


I don't automatically assume that most people who lie about their age are sociopaths---although I'm sure there are some of them out there. I'm more inclined to believe such people are insecure---they don't think they're acceptable the way they are. I do agree that having to constantly reassure an insecure person that I still found him attractive would be a huge turn-off.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 63
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 10:45:39 AM

What about when you naked in the dressing room and a stranger opens the door?

Depends on who it is.
I have said, 'you can look but don't touch' and I have said, 'occupied'.
For some reason other people are far more embarrassed that I am.

People usually don't ask me about their haircuts.
Probably because I do tell them the truth.
But I try to be kind about it -- such as "I preferred your hair dyed a more natural tinge than lemon-lime, but being so short must be absolutely wonderful for getting ready in the morning."

I don't get personal questions.
Maybe people think I'm too boring.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 64
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 10:47:15 AM
It depends

For example , if I thought she was 30 and it turned out she was 37 I would be SOOOOOOOO ok with it

( wink )
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 65
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 2:57:54 PM

I'm more inclined to believe such people are insecure---they don't think they're acceptable the way they are.

How about considering the idea that OTHER insecure people wanting dates -- are always looking for more, better, above-average people -- because they're afraid to deal with anything at their own level? How much of what happens online is driven by fear and insecurity or dishonesty - and how much is driven by demand?

Being 'acceptable' online and being ACCEPTED in-person is like the difference between shooting a bullet - or throwing it. 'Fudging' a higher standard just to get attention online is almost a necessary part of the game. Every ad out there for an automobile has the vehicle is shiny and sparkling new - even if they are driving in the desert amongst sand storms. It's not a total falsehood, just an IDEAL version of it.

It's silly that people hold a number from a personals ad as a more important or significant 'crime' than fudging a camera angle or wearing makeup or using colors and clothing to a visual advantage. People 'lie' a hundred different ways in advertising.

People that admit their lies and faults are NOT the insecure types - the insecure people are the ones who KEEP lying.


I do agree that having to constantly reassure an insecure person that I still found him attractive would be a huge turn-off.

What math equates a number snafu to constant reassurance is needed in a lousy personals ad?
Some profiles write out their entire biography - putting everything out there for any stranger to read. Some barely write three sentences or are so vague you cannot even tell if they are a phony from overseas. Real confidence and reassurance are not easily gleaned from personals ads - the best liars are the ones that do so WITH confidence.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 66
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 3:08:21 PM

the best liars are the ones that do so WITH confidence.


Like presidential candidates.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 67
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 6:21:38 PM
I heart you Butterchuck
Seems there is no pleasing some people, others of us can be had with am ice cream cone and a good joke
Not that I just described myself
Choco and I want a parrot joke
" feel the breeze"I would think an unconfident LIAR would be
well, kinda sad
Go big or go home
 reintree
Joined: 7/9/2016
Msg: 68
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/13/2016 8:16:41 PM
How far do you go with the "truth"? Some have "full figured" when they are obese. What is BBW? Or if you say "blonde" when carpet hasn't matched the drapes since they were 18. I did see a profile once that said "I have my own teeth", I thought that was odd, truthful but odd. How about breast implants?

I think there is something wrong with people that call others sociopaths, for one, they aren't even remotely qualified to give a diagnosis and it's a little over the top. Someone is a sociopath because they lied about their age by a couple years or said they were full figured instead of obese or they added a couple inches to their height?

A confident liar - politicians do it all the time. Many occupations call for a lie or two. The weatherman.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 69
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 7:16:26 AM
VERY good answer, Reintree.

What a variety of interesting answers I am getting to the question I posted.

The question was purely hypothetical, as it was about no one particular person. However, I must admit, my curiosity was piqued because of experiences of several friends of mine.

They are all in VERY good shape and attractive. They all posted their ages as 5 to 7 years younger than they actually are. But they all – in mine and others opinions – could have passed for even younger.
NONE of them are habitual liars, and did not lie about anything else on their profiles.
I, on the other hand, posted my true age.

My friends all got tons of replies from active and attractive men their actual ages or a few years younger. I got a number of replies from much older, obese, and sedentary men. It got so bad for me, that I first took down my full length picture. Then I hid my profile and contacted only the men I chose. No replies.
Sent full length picture up front to prove I wasn’t obese. (I’m 5’2”, size 4, and toned). No replies.

My friends got to see many profiles of men I would have liked, but they had age filtered me out.

No worries though. I am doing fine IRL, where I don’t have to give my age at all. I am approached by much younger, healthier men.

A couple of my friends have connected. Still not mentioning their real ages. I guess I am wondering what will happen when these guys find out – if they ever do.

According to some, it will instantly be over, and the man will disappear. According to others, just laughter.

I know I could close my profile, and come back in a week at age 58 or so. But if a man that would have loved me otherwise, had so little regard for me that he would have blown me off over 3 years -- I don’t think I would want him either.

If he would have blown me off over the one lie -- I would have to measure his height, check his credit rating, and see his pay check stub. Although I otherwise wouldn’t have cared in the least.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 70
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 8:06:29 AM
^^^^^

"If he would have blown me off over the one lie -- I would have to measure his stub. "


Sounds fair to me


...right back at ya Ouija !
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 71
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 8:56:58 AM
Good post Raintree.
I doubt most people are any type of 'path' :/
Measuring his stub? tsk tsk
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 72
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 9:07:31 AM
Dayna wrote

( you're welcome in advance to all those ,like myself ,who appreciate giving the author of the quote so one doesn't have to scroll through the thread trying to find it yourself - GRR )

"Most people who lie about one thing will lie about another. What's the point of lying about your age? Your hypothetical is too involved for me, I wouldn't have gotten that far and fell in love without knowing whether or not someone was a liar. I dated a man who told me he was 33, I was 33, then he showed me his pilot license and he was 36. What a stupid lie, I asked why and he said he didn't think I'd go out with him if I knew his real age. ??? Crazy crap, I don't need it. Sure enough, he had lied about other things, whatever he thought I needed to hear. No thanks."




Are you telling me you know people who don't lie about ANYTHING....EVER ?????

There are 2 types of liars :

1. compulsive
2. regular people who lie every now and then if they feel it's the best choice at the time, whether it's a white lie or a lie to avoid getting in trouble, etc

I don't think it's fair to paint the 2 types with the same brush and one lying about one's age doesn't automatically put them in category 1 ....IMO
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 73
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 9:22:04 AM

I know I could close my profile, and come back in a week at age 58 or so. But if a man that would have loved me otherwise, had so little regard for me that he would have blown me off over 3 years -- I don’t think I would want him either.


But you don't know that. You don't know if any of the guys who are age-filtering you out, would drop you if you adjusted your age downward, then caught their attention and later revealed the truth.

I ran into this only once. She was my age, but her profile listed her as five years younger. The gig was up when I started talking about where I was when I learned about JFK's assassination and she chimed in with her memories. "Huh? You remember all of that from when your were 2?" For people my age, JFK's assassination is a great fib-buster. Just start talking about it after two drinks.

But I really didn't care. Didn't ask her out again, but her fib had nothing to do with that decision.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 74
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 10:15:18 AM
the bottom line is; a lie is a lie and it's a paradox

'People who deceive themselves also tend to be happier than people who do not, some research suggests. There are social payoffs, too: Studies have shown that people who lie frequently are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts.'

sugar coated self assurance, where it proud, but you're still a liar ( to no one in particular)

* personally, i can't wait to belt out Paul in august

"Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?"
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 75
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 11:36:44 AM

'People who deceive themselves also tend to be happier than people who do not, some research suggests.


"Delusions-the key to happiness".

Maybe someone should put that on a bumper sticker.


Studies have shown that people who lie frequently are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts.'


A belief that backstabbers count on.

"Their smilin' to your face
All the time they wanna take your place
The backstabbers, backstabbers"
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