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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > A NEW queston about an OLD topic......      Home login  
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 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 76
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Over the years I have been post-marriage single some of the women I know have met and married men they met on-line. In every case they were very physically attractive and had posted their actual age. Other women I know or have met have lied about their ages on their profiles allegedly to turn up in searches that would have screened them out for being too old. As far as I know they are still out there, hoping to snag a guy they can fool with this maneuver.

Now IRL I cannot recall ever asking a woman her age upon meeting her. Most of the time I can tell within a year or two so why bother. Also it is rude! In my experience we all look our age. Some look terrific.; others look terrible; most of us look somewhere in the middle, bell curve fashion. Of course sometimes I have been surprised after meeting a woman under subdued lighting in a bar or restaurant when I see her in the light of day...

If a man is looking to find a woman near his age OLD he should have no problem at all. Women (allegedly) near my age continue to badger me with emails on another site on which I am active. Women mostly want men near their own age or younger. That is the way it is. IRL is a whole 'nother story. I find it quite easy to meet and date very attractive women 10 to 25 years younger. No problem! Moreover occasionally I receive calls from women in the past I have dated who want to hook up. Life is good IRL!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 77
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 11:57:21 AM

so convinced themselves that they are entitled to live outside of the rules

Actually, it's not outside 'the rules' to fib. On a certain scale, there are no universal rules about that. It's debatable (hence this thread). Someone who lies about their age is not even an indicator of a sociopath. You can say one's too me-minded when doing so, but you have to realize they're counteracting the Explicitly over-whelming me-me-me thing on the opposite side of the spectrum -- the others shopping. People like simpleton explanations when it comes to this stuff, but it's not all that simple.

the bottom line is; a lie is a lie

I highly disagree with that, and a belief in that only leads people to lie. Everyone Technically lies (purposely at least shades the truth) all the time. A lie doesn't mean it's going against someone or going to help us out that much either. It can be done to avoid getting into something when conversing, among a million other reasons. People who think everything knowingly (consciously or subconsciously) not 100% true bears the same weight is going to rationalize that a huge whopper to manipulate a date will be the same as "No, you look great," to a family member who doesn't look great but maybe OK at best.

"Delusions-the key to happiness".

It can be to someone. Or like alcohol, it can be the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ;)

Lying to oneself is perpetuated by some motivational speakers. It's to avoid one getting down on oneself and to break out of their shell. It's bending the truth (lying) to perceive oneself as better than you really are, to spark confidence which Does lead to actually being better. Or the PUA-wannabe who becomes better when he believes he's a better catch than he really is which actually makes him a better catch -- enough where he won't spiral down into woe-is-me when it comes to also recognizing improvements.

I think people running into crazy big lies like looking totally different than their pic, people not looking their age so much and realizing they're 42 not 29, and other things like totally different kid situation or marriage situation -- makes one be hair-trigger-picky on it, and not zooming out and realizing that to some degree, it's profile stuff to the Masses not to you directly, and marketing adjustments are made which are shared by many -- and many are not offended when finding out the adjustments when they meet well IRL.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 78
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/14/2016 12:25:31 PM
When someone say 57 makes a profile & sets their upper age at 60, three years older than they are...
Now they're 59, but they never changed their filter....
Did they pick 60, cause it's a round number?

I had Forum friends I couldn't email anymore after POF did their +-14 thing....
I said if the Band Gang Poofed my profile, I'd come back younger.....
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 79
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/15/2016 5:00:01 PM

How about considering the idea that OTHER insecure people wanting dates -- are always looking for more, better, above-average people -- because they're afraid to deal with anything at their own level? How much of what happens online is driven by fear and insecurity or dishonesty - and how much is driven by demand?


The "demand" you speak of is based on people's insecurities---so if they're being driven by it, they're insecure, as well. There are still plenty of people online who are not dishonest in their profiles, so why should I settle for someone who is?

No thanks.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 80
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/15/2016 10:38:28 PM


I really don’t see the point in trying to “fool” someone into a relationship.


You'd be surprised how many are trying to fool others into a non-relationship.

Like, my request to be monogamous is demanding and clingy.

It's not a friggin marriage proposal.

Just sayin'....
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 81
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/19/2016 2:55:02 PM
funny how that whole " til death do us part " thing seems to be gone with wind


both sets of grandparents managed it
so did most my aunts and uncles


I love these new fancy terms

metrosexual
polyamourous


blah blah

what we used to call a swinger or a two timing louse

now with new 'cool' names must make it all ok to do
 BHinFL
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 82
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/19/2016 3:13:27 PM
I have no reason to lie about my age, and I would not expect someone to stick around after she found out I lied.
So if she lies about her age I would not want to find out what else she lied, or would lie, about.

See ya!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 83
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/20/2016 9:11:09 PM
Just turned 63 a couple of days ago. Have never lied about my age, and at this late date...not gonna start.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 84
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 9:43:54 AM

"funny how that whole " til death do us part " thing seems to be gone with wind"



Cowgirl, I'm sure lawyers, laws and government agencies ended a lot of marriages that might have lasted a lifetime. I know of several: my marriage was one of them.

My wife had a legalized drug problem. After stabbing herself in the thigh and blaming someone else a government agency threatened to take our 3 children away if they're ever left alone with their mother.

Long story short: I went to a lawyer for advice. I took it. Days later I was served papers ordering me out of my house - all my assets frozen.

Two weeks later I was in court fighting a restraining order against me. At that time the government agency believed it was okay to leave our 3 children with my wife as long as they can check up on her once a week.

Beyond ANY DOUBT it was proven the two lies that got me removed from the house were false (also, the judge was aware my wife had made over 30 false complaints against others prior to that). The judge thought it might be best for all if he ordered me out of my house and not to contact my wife for any reason except when I pick up my children for a visit once a week until our divorce is final.

My wife cried uncontrollably as she left the courthouse after our divorce - losing custody of her 3 kids might have had something to do with that.

She might be alive today (she didn't survive her 2nd drug overdose) and still married to me if the court didn't separate us for no valid or legal reason whatsoever. I loved her. I was willing to stay together 'til death do us part'.
 helnback
Joined: 7/8/2016
Msg: 85
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 9:55:03 AM

Cowgirl, I'm sure lawyers, laws and government agencies ended a lot of marriages that might have lasted a lifetime. I know of several: my marriage was one of them.


Boy, that's a loaded bullshyt statement if I've ever read one. And WTF is a "legalized drug problem"? Care to re-word that?

You had a screwed up marriage and a screwed up wife. You blame the law, lawyers and the government for that???


I was willing to stay together 'til death do us part'
Hmmm. Many people said that and divorced anyway. Many change their minds somewhere down the road or they draw a line in the sand and enough is enough. You MIGHT have lasted until death do us part or you may have lasted two year longer than you did. You don't know.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 86
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 11:07:31 AM
Heinback, were you Memmtoo, raisedinhill and numerous others?

What I wrote should be simple for most Americans. Our judicial system needs a little work - not just our problem with cops beating and murdering citizens.

I blamed the lawyers, etc for a screwed up wife and marriage? Can't you read? You gotta be Memmtoo/rasiedinhill, etc.


You actually have no idea what a 'legalized drug problem' is? Really? I'll try to explain.

The numerous drugs she was taking were all legal and prescribed by a doctor. No problems for the first 4 or 5 years and then there were plenty - especially when she drank alcohol.

In case you're not Memmtoo (a remote possibility), other than mentioning the drug problem, what did I write that made you believe my wife and marriage were screwed up?

What did I write to make you believe I blamed her drug problem on the lawyers, etc.?

Understand my questions? My guess they're quite simple for most adults. Of course, Memmtoo is incapable of understanding them.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 87
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 11:26:14 AM
Well the story makes little sense. Did the Court start divorce proceedings without either of you aware of it?
If the Govt agency was going to seize your children if left alone with their Mother why did he have to move out?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 88
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A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 11:39:40 AM
I don't understand either, how were you & your wife divorced? She must have filed against you, unless you filed against her, so how was this the lawyers & government's fault? There seems to be something important missing.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 89
Now we are here in..Xanadu...
Posted: 7/22/2016 12:12:56 PM

A place where nobody dared to go
The love that we came to know
They call it Xanadu

And now, open your eyes and see
What we have made is real
We are in Xanadu

A million lights are dancing
And there you are, a shooting star
An everlasting world and you're here with me
Eternally

Xanadu - Xanadu (now we are here)
In Xanadu
Xanadu - Xanadu (now we are here)
In Xanadu
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 90
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 12:13:26 PM
Ouija, the advice the lawyer gave me was to file for a divorce in order to get in front of a judge in an attempt to get my wife into a hospital for a 30 day evaluation. I DIDN'T want a divorce. My wife wasn't willing to put herself in a hospital. The lawyer told me that was the only way he knew to help her.

I told my wife what I was doing and she hired a lawyer that managed to get me thrown out of my house.

How does a husband get his wife hospitalized in Canada if she isn't willing?

That government agency exists here to protect children from abusive parents. One day they rule my kids aren't safe being alone with their mother. Two weeks later - no problem.

Ya see why I might be mad? Their message to the judge was it's okay to leave the kids with her for 24/7. That was after I was told I couldn't leave them alone with her for 10 minutes.

The law here allows a wife to get a restraining order on her word alone. But a husband has a legal right to challenge that court order within 15 days. I did and lost.

I paid 78 bucks for the transcript of that hearing and attempted to get that judge thrown off the bench. A waste of time and money. He had ABSOULUTELY no legal right to order me out of my house. None!
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 91
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 12:37:05 PM
"how were you & your wife divorced? She must have filed against you, unless you filed against her, so how was this the lawyers & government's fault? There seems to be something important missing."

I filed for a divorce (in an attempt to get my wife hospitalized). Then she filed for a divorce too (she thought I wanted a divorce and the kids).

The government agency was responsible for me seeking legal advice. The lawyer's BS about filing for a divorce to get my wife hospitalized started the divorce procedures.

The court throwing me out of the house and ordering me not to contact my wife made it too difficult to reconcile.

Understand?

Maybe a divorce was inevitable, but I was willing to stay together 'til death do us part' or until the kids turned 18. (Working and raising 3 kids alone didn't allow me to go out much for 3 or 4 years.)
 helnback
Joined: 7/8/2016
Msg: 92
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 1:04:03 PM
Uh, no. I'm not metoo or raisehill or whoever you had a spat with before. I think that was a man who I believe was calling you out. I didn't pay too much attention. You seem to tussle with a few.


Cowgirl, I'm sure lawyers, laws and government agencies ended a lot of marriages that might have lasted a lifetime. I know of several: my marriage was one of them.


It's still a bullshyt statement. YOU have control n your life and what went on. You may have taken advice that wasn't wise, that's means you chose to do something. But...lawyers, the law and government are NOT to blame for your divorce. And nowhere did I intimate you blamed your wife's addiction on the lawyers.

And no, I've never heard the term "legalized drug problem". Addicted to prescription drugs..yup, I've heard of that. "drug problem", I've heard of that too. Is "legalized drug problem" a cute term for drug addict or junkie ? Makes it sound nicer? Being addicted to cocaine is no different than being addicted to Percocet. Still a drug addict. If your booze of choice is cheap wine or expensive Scotch...still an alcoholic.

You had a crappy marriage to a drug addict. Who knows how long the marriage may have lasted. It ended when two people agreed to a divorce.

Very defensive.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 93
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/22/2016 3:50:46 PM

If your booze of choice is cheap wine or expensive Scotch...still an alcoholic.


Ah shiat!!!!!

Are you saying I should have stuck with the cheap stuff??????

Suddenly, I feel like I need a drink.

Or two.
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