Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > A NEW queston about an OLD topic......      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 172
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I suppose it could be argued that lying
is intellectually lazy as well.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 173
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 11/27/2016 12:24:29 AM

ohenryx
I had a date this last Saturday night, with a woman 12 years younger (65 – 53). A beautiful woman whom I have known for 25 years. She got divorced a couple of years back, and I held off for a long time as I really thought she was completely out of my league. When I finally asked, her reply was, “What took you so long?”

I think with that big of an age difference, there is unlikely to be a long term commitment. But no reason why we can’t have some good times together.


Well, it's 2 a.m. and I just got home from my second date with this same woman. It took me 3 weeks to see her again, she has a very busy life. And I definitely plan to see her again, and as soon as I can make it happen. I had a very good time. She definitely moves the needle, and in the right direction. We were dancing, slow dancing, and at the end of the song we kept holding each other and moving together.

Any time you can spend an evening with someone and feel like your whole world has moved in the right direction, that's a good thing.

Do I sound silly? Probably. And I have had a bit to drink. But the day I'm too old, or too cynical, to feel good about an evening like this, you can all plan to come to my funeral.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 174
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 11/27/2016 8:56:15 AM

Now, say the two of you really hit it off. You fall in love, become exclusive and have dated for over a year.

You check them out and find that they never lied to you about one single thing ever. Except their age. They were actually about 5-7 years older than they said they were.

The fact pattern doesn't work for me for a couple reasons:
1) birthdate is important to me so I would have explicitly asked his birthday (not just relied on the age in his profile) sometime very early in our dating, so it wouldn't take a year+ to find he'd lied on his profile and we wouldn't have made it to the 1 year+ mark.
2) given my experience with OLD, there's no way in hell I'm waiting a year to "check them out" - either I do it right away or I don't do it at all. So if I checked him out early and found the lie, then we never made it to that 1 year+ mark.

Everything else was just about perfect. Except that they lied about their age.

Another problem with the fact pattern - I don't believe that everything else could be "just about perfect" with ANYone who lies about an objective fact like their age. The key being that age is an objective fact; we're not talking about subjective assessment like body type or attractiveness or health. If someone can look me in the eye and lie about an objective fact, then the our relationship can't be "just about perfect" for a few reasons:
a) it displays slipperiness with the truth,
b) that slipperiness is to get their own way/what they want and the other's thoughts/feelings/beliefs/choices/preferences be damned - i.e. his choices are not only more important than mine but I don't even get the opportunity to make the choice whether I want to be with someone his true age, and
c) it calls into question what else they may be lying about, and
d) choosing to lie about something like age indicates (to me) there is/are some other psychological issue(s) at play that are not of a type I want to deal with.

The thing is, my desired dating range goes to 7 yrs older than me (and only about 2 yrs younger) so if he'd had his true age he would have passed through that filter and we would have had the opportunity to find out if we're 'perfect for each other.' No need to lie.

So, yes, I would dump his ass almost immediately; which would have been sometime in the first month, not after a year+.


Now, let's say that YOU were the age liar. At what point would you tell your partner that you lied about your age? Or would you?

Not within the realm of possibility. I own every one of my years.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 175
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 11/27/2016 9:02:14 AM
Yeah, what she said.

I don't understand this youth worship, anyway. So, if you feel the need to pretend that you're younger than you really are, I think there's something wrong with you in the first place. So, apart from the lying, I think you have issues for wanting to be younger.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 176
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 11/27/2016 10:10:09 AM
That's pretty funny, and very telling, that if you won't put up with a liar, you are lazy, stupid, missing out on something great...pick an excuse. LOL And personally, I have yet to meet someone who only lies about one thing, some things may not be your business early on when meeting but lying to get someone to meet you shows your character and some people find your character to be very important. Something I pay close attention to when meeting people, not just someone to date, is if they use excuses, because if they do, they usually turn out to be pretty darn quick to lie, manipulate. But the bottom line is, if you want to date someone who lies to you, no one is stopping you, just like if you don't want to date a liar, nothing is making you do so.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 177
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 11/27/2016 10:52:21 AM
^^^^ Pointing no fingers at any individual, it has been long known that people who are overly sensitive to lies are the most susceptible to them. Telemarketers buy lists of people who have been scammed and are now wary. The best way to deal with these people for both good and bad motives is to lie to them.
 dallasdoer
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 178
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/27/2016 2:36:29 PM
Firstly, age is just a number and there are many on these sites who look way older than their real age.
2nd. All people lie and if they cannot do it on a free dating site, tell that to the ones in public office who make false contentions about their background and lie straight-faced to the electorate, knowing they will never do what they promise. A recent accidental president comes to mind. In this day when women all think men cant get exited physically after a certain age, so they simply do not look or respond, while they almost always lie about their age, I think it is a non-issue. If it is, you surely do not want a relationship with somebody that shallow and superficial.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 179
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/27/2016 5:21:49 PM
YOu say shallow, I say you can tell from a watermarked picture that the person has aged and is trying to hid it
Like your reference to older women ad dog poo
yea, snow covers it for awhile
Age isn't just a number when you demand a senior discount at IHOP
 pd481
Joined: 4/15/2010
Msg: 180
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/28/2016 1:20:02 AM
Age is not just a number - age is a measurement. It is an exact count of the numbers of trip the earth has made around the sun in a lifetime. To argue otherwise is delusional. To say I feel younger makes as much sense as saying I feel taller or lighter.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 181
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/28/2016 4:31:45 AM
^"Age is not just a number...To say I feel younger makes as much sense as saying I feel taller or lighter."

True. If someone weighs 400 pounds, and someone makes a comment about their obesity, is it a valid argument for the person to reply "weight is just a number", or use the argument "age is just a number" if an underage person goes to a bar and orders an alcoholic drink?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 182
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/28/2016 4:37:15 AM
If you aren't interested in a long term relationship, then lying about things doesn't have a lot of downside and more upside. If you are just interested in dating , telling the truth might be an easy way to move on to the next relationship. You get dumped and move on.

If someone feels younger than their age, one good possibility is they don't really know how people their age feel and behave.

Certainly some people at age 70 still run marathons, some people age 50 can't run a mile. There is a lot of variability.

I wouldn't dump someone for lying, but it would make me more cautious, less trustful and more curious about what else they were lying about.

But IMO 99% of people will have lied about something in their past, it might be an unimportant lie, like calling in sick to work or telling someone they look good when you think they don't, but it's still lie.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 183
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 12/28/2016 10:24:49 AM

Age is not just a number - age is a measurement. It is an exact count of the numbers of trip the earth has made around the sun in a lifetime.

I think everyone knows that. "Age is just a number" basically says: It's merely how many trips the earth has made around the sun as I've been doing my thing. The reason? Age doesn't Really mean much on the level many folks are socially/emotionally trying to make it be in this venue (dating world). Overall, age has Less Practical effect on dating than we make it out to be. So it's just a reminder of that.

To say I feel younger makes as much sense as saying I feel taller or lighter.

When someone says "I feel younger" -- it means they feel like they did when they were younger. Same as "I feel like I did in high school". Many people let themselves go, gain weight, become lethargic, and it becomes a part of them for Many years. Then nearing or during middle age, they get in better shape, and take care of themselves as a whole in a better way and are less stressed out -- and after 6-12 months -- Yep, "I feel younger [than I did 6-12 months ago]."

Or a guy getting a Viagra for the first time, after holding off trying it for a decade. "I feel like I'm young again!"
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 184
view profile
History
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 1/28/2017 4:46:30 AM
Some people lie about their age to get around (or take advantage of) the 14 year age gap limit that POF imposes. Example: A 50 year old woman only wants to date men her own age or younger. She doesn't want to date 65 year olds who lie and say they're 60 so they can contact 50 year old women, so she says she's 43 or whatever. If her picture is recent then she's not really deceiving anyone because let's face it, we're all looking at pictures before we're looking at numbers, she's just filtering out guys she knows she doesn't want.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > A NEW queston about an OLD topic......