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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?      Home login  
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 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 101
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

No because any guy that doesn’t pay his way and let’s a woman do it is using her period.


Being a stay-at-home parent can be a full-time job - that’s what women have been saying for years. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids isn’t using somebody - whether the stay-at-home parent be a man or a woman.
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/11/2018 4:19:38 PM

Being a stay-at-home parent can be a full-time job

Any man thats planning on having children certainly won't be having them in my home. If he has his own home, he can stay home all he wants.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 103
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/11/2018 5:04:40 PM
Okay I’ll bite. I find it no coincidence that the most laziest unconventional guy would love to be stay ~at ~home. Like it’s some life plan mapped out to avoid the work place. I can tell the types before they even say “I’d love to be a stay ~at ~home ~dad”. They think it’s easy and it probably is for them, change a nappy and check on baby around four hours later inbetween being on the Internet! Seriously if a guy approaches me with that plan of action I’m done, regardless of anything else he has to say thereafter:)
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 104
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/11/2018 5:30:29 PM
^^^ Seriously, being a stay-at-home parent is harder than that. The number of stay-at-home dads is actually increasing these days. If women are free to do whatever they want, men should also be free to take on traditional female gender roles. It’s only fair.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 105
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/11/2018 5:40:02 PM
^^^ Now it’s got into gender roles and I’m flexible with roles. I wouldn’t say I’m rigid , I’m talking about guys who request that upfront In my experience have a reason for requesting the reversal:)
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 106
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/11/2018 5:54:41 PM
OP, if I met the right lady I'd be happy to be a stay at home boyfriend. I am retired, on pension and for the right woman you bet I'd make sure all was right at home if I could. If she worked and we cared about one another I'd make an effort to make her happy. I already take care of my place now anyway.

Now, as far as finding this lady. I hold out hope she is out there. But who knows? I sure don't.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 107
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/12/2018 3:35:12 AM
If we had kids and talked about, I guess it would be doable, but if a guy doesn't actually like that role, lets say he's not neat or a nurturer for the kids, then no.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 108
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/12/2018 12:30:55 PM
Some guys do make good stay-at-home dads and some women make really bad stay-at-home mothers so in some instances the guy staying home could work. Not in my instance though. I have no desire at all to swap gender roles.

I'm not denying being a stay-at-home mom is a tough job but I think it's tougher to be a mom who works fulltime and still has to take care of the house and kids on her own. I admit to being quite envious at times of stay-at-home moms. When I was on mat leave (remember in Canada we get 1 year off) I really appreciated not having to go to work and I had a lot more energy and could be a better parent. With my first baby, I admit to really wanting to go back to work because I was going stir-crazy always being at home with only a baby to talk to, and an unemployed guy taking our car and going off galavanting all the livelong day but once I went back to work and realized how hard it is to both work and be a mom, I yearned for the days of my maternity leave.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 109
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:43:08 PM
It's now up to 18 months leave, at a reduced rate than would be paid for 12 months.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 110
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/12/2018 10:40:27 PM
Yes, they expanded it because childcare is so hard to find for under 18 months but the reduced rate means you live in poverty if you choose that unless you have a spouse with a good income.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 111
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 2:28:12 AM
There are employers that provide top up so not just those with a spouse with a good income. Those early months cost a lot in child care so it's helpful. Quite a few of of my younger colleagues are taking advantage of it for that reason.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 112
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 3:10:36 AM
He can care for the kid/s and I'll work till they are pre-school age. If we have kids that is. Otherwise we both work atleast casually or part time. Doesn't interest me spending all day caring for a screaming baby.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 113
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:05:30 AM
Doesn't interest me spending all day caring for a screaming baby.

Then please dont have any if thats how you see it.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 114
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:08:03 AM

There are employers that provide top up so not just those with a spouse with a good income.


It's not very common in Canada, at least in Western Canada. Although, there are some government programs which provide additional income in certain provinces.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 115
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:55:13 AM
A stay-at-home father is going to have his personality and his traits be more predominant in the kids, maybe less nurturing, kids may not be big criers that need to be coddled, more reserved with their feelings, etc, which is not a bad thing.

I see many of today's women not leading by example. Not being the parent with asking their kids, what do you think? Who gives a F how they think, you're supposed to be teaching them how to think for the most part.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 116
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:09:03 AM

I see many of today's women not leading by example. Not being the parent with asking their kids, what do you think? Who gives a F how they think, you're supposed to be teaching them how to think for the most part.


I disagree.
It's not your job to be teaching kids what or how to think.
It's your job to ask what they think to give them options or to help them come to decisions.
Otherwise, the cycle of racism, bullying and tons of other shyte continues.
I always asked my kids what they thought...I still do. Because I'm interested in what they think.
I don't pretend to know all the answers...I never did....and I'm still learning.

You know what else you do with kids? You thank them for doing what you asked and you let them
know you appreciate their positive behavior.

I definitely gave a **** what my kids thought...and I still do.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 117
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:28:01 AM
As adults, I'd be interested in what they think. As children, why wouldn't you be teaching them how to think? It gives them the tools for making good decisions, so I have to disagree. I understand what you're saying, though. They can get different povs from being put in positions to be social. When talking to kids that are adults, they tend to be simpatico with their parents thinking. Of course if the parent is an @ss, they may be one too, but that's life. Then other adults (friends) will teach them later that they're @sses.

I wouldn't want my kids to be thinking like the neighbor's kids. That's why you're the parent to teach them what is right in life. No, you can't throw tantrums, no, you can't always get what you ask for, and what you do comes with consequences. Not all men and women will make good parents. People don't necessarily know how to cope with children and how to raise them.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 118
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:41:59 AM
^^^^You need to talk to kids to ask them what they think before you can give them
tools for making good decisions. You can't just say...this is what you do. There's a
difference between discipline and teaching moments, although sometimes they converge.
Even if your child does something wrong, you ask them why they did it and help them
understand why that particular choice was wrong and help them along for next time.

It's always important to listen to what a child thinks...no matter what their age is.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 119
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:55:06 AM
^ Exactly. For instance, you can either set out what a kid is going to wear every day of their life until they're an adult and not give them choices based on their own thoughts and when they get older they haven't learned how to pick their own clothing or feel like the class geek because it's obvious their momma has dressed them. You give them choices to pick from on their own. You don't simply give them carte blanche either or some of them would be dressing totally inappropriate for the occasion, which is the teaching moment. You can't teach effectively as a parent if you don't know what's going on inside a kid's head. As well, it's a recipe for rebellion at some stage if there's no freedom of thought. The same applies with actions, such as bullying, etc. You have to know what they're thinking in order to teach why the actions are inappropriate - and then teach them to change their way of thinking. I don't doubt that half the kids that are bullies are those who are bullied at home by not being allowed freedom of thought.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 120
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:13:48 PM

Posted By: Kissfromarose77 on 7/11/2018 608 PM
Subject: Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Message:
No because any guy that doesn’t pay his way and let’s a woman do it is using her period.

Being a stay-at-home parent can be a full-time job - that’s what women have been saying for years. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids isn’t using somebody - whether the stay-at-home parent be a man or a woman.


Like Mr Mom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1G0Q63pieQ
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 121
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:22:21 PM
I do agree with what you ladies are saying as far as listening to what they're saying as a teaching tool and definitely giving them opportunities for self expression. I'm talking about giving them the basics in life for moral code, how to treat others. I do believe in freedom of expression for kids when done in a socially acceptable manner, meaning you can't be abusive, be kind ect.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 122
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 12:27:26 PM

I'm talking about giving them the basics in life for moral code, how to treat others. I do believe in freedom of expression for kids when done in a socially acceptable manner, meaning you can't be abusive, be kind ect.

It goes hand in hand...it's not an either/or proposition.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 123
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 4:44:18 PM
She had an unemployed guy around. What was he an ornament. Each to their own but I like men to be useful. Say I fell out of work or was vulnerable ,I want the person I’m sleeping with to be my rock, help me out,otherwise what’s the point of them.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 124
Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 7:52:13 PM
^^^ So do you think men should also date unemployed women? I see a lot of women on this site who list their profession as “stay at home mom.”
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 125
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/13/2018 8:18:31 PM
I think that optimally, a mother should work part-time, because of the following reasons:

1) she remains in the workforce so there are no major gaps in her employment, if she needs to then she can work more in the future with an easier transition
2) getting some time away from the kids can make you a better parent
3) psychologically its good for mothers to spend some time among other adults
3) she is contributing somewhat financially
4) the dad might not have to work as much, making more time for family life

Working fulltime and raising children is no good because then you are burning the candle at both ends. Kids don't get enough time with mom, mom gets no time for herself. Also, and this has been backed up with solid research, when both parents work fulltime, the mother in most situations, is still spending way more hours on housework/yardwork and caring for the children. So if, for example, the mother is spending 31 hours a week doing housework/yardwork/childcare and the father is spending 15 hours, it would be fair to expect the mother should work less hours a week outside the home.

If both partners want to share everything equally that is fine. But if someone wants to take on the role of stay-at-home parent with their partner's blessing then they need to accept their role as primary childcarer and housekeeper.
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