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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?      Home login  
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 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 126
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)


Then please dont have any if thats how you see it.

I don't really want to but my boyfriend does. He said he would be a stay at home dad and take care of the baby. So maybe in a few years.
My sister that lives with us has a baby and spends all day caring for it, it really does not appeal to me at all. Gotta say lol. I don't really like babies or small children all that much but who knows maybe if it was my own kid it would be different.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 127
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:32:24 AM
No. Way.

Just NO.

The only exception I would take to that is if he was willing to take care of any child we had but that would have its conditions or unless he had some kind of disability that prevents him from working outside of the home and he meets other conditions.

The last thing I want is some morose squatter in my home, languishing on my furniture, farting and complaining about some azzhole on the internet, eating my food and using my space to meet younger women.

If he wants to stay home, he can get his own place and stay the fuq there.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 128
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/17/2018 5:25:56 AM
^wow if u think so little of men, then why don't u date women instead?" What is wrong with a stay at home father? Women for generations stayed at home, looked after the home n children, but now they are trying to be men n compete with men in the work place, so why can't men now do the duties women used to do? Did men in the past say that women were squatters, cheaters n lazy losers, because they stayed at home n raised their kids? I don't think so" ur misandry is showing n any man wud be crazy to go near u"
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 129
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/17/2018 6:41:53 AM
I have a friend who works from home and takes care of his kid.

Hes not lazy and isnt sitting around playing games all day eating food.

Most men arent your ex. Most men are people who can manage their time to be productive. Its unfortunate that lots of women here have not been with good men but with the kind they hate but keep dating.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 130
Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/17/2018 6:42:00 AM
What man wouldn't want to stay home all day, watching soap operas? lol. It's funny how TV programming is still behind the times by decades, where day time/ week day programming is still geared to bored, stay-at-home housewives, with its fill of soap operas, celebrity gossip shows, and freak shows like Jerry Springer.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 131
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/17/2018 4:09:53 PM
^^^ which channels might tune in.
 bethafoot
Joined: 1/27/2017
Msg: 132
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/28/2018 9:11:57 AM
Personally I would LOVE that, with the right person. But I think only because I'm an off grid homesteader, single mom w/ 20 acres in the woods and things happen at a snail's pace around here. I have to balance working (I'm self employed which is nice) with my kids and getting stuff done. I could make so much more money if I had someone to do stuff around here so that I could actually work full time, and with more money I could finish and do things faster (like building barns and fencing and land clearing and finishing the house and all that). Conversely, it would be nice to have some "muscle" around here to do big jobs more efficiently than I do them.

Having said that, I would not be interested in someone who just sat around all day and maybe cook dinner and take out the trash. I personally love what I do for my work, so wouldn't be interested in the stay home person, but it would sure be nice to have someone around here to do those things because when I try to get it all done, all of it ends up about 50% done and not really very well. Or it takes ages to get projects finished. This place has enough work to be done to keep someone occupied full-time, so it would be nice to have a second person here during the day to do a lot of that stuff.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 133
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/28/2018 9:38:45 AM

Posted By: bethafoot on 7/28/2018 1157 AM
Subject: Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Message: Personally I would LOVE that, with the right person. But I think only because I'm an off grid homesteader, single mom w/ 20 acres in the woods and things happen at a snail's pace around here. I have to balance working (I'm self employed which is nice) with my kids and getting stuff done. I could make so much more money if I had someone to do stuff around here so that I could actually work full time, and with more money I could finish and do things faster (like building barns and fencing and land clearing and finishing the house and all that). Conversely, it would be nice to have some "muscle" around here to do big jobs more efficiently than I do them.

Having said that, I would not be interested in someone who just sat around all day and maybe cook dinner and take out the trash. I personally love what I do for my work, so wouldn't be interested in the stay home person, but it would sure be nice to have someone around here to do those things because when I try to get it all done, all of it ends up about 50% done and not really very well. Or it takes ages to get projects finished. This place has enough work to be done to keep someone occupied full-time, so it would be nice to have a second person here during the day to do a lot of that stuff.


Where you live looks like Paradise.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 134
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/28/2018 10:38:29 AM
Sienna Bear,,,,Doesn't interest me spending all day caring for a screaming baby.

Tech replyed
Then please dont have any if thats how you see it.
^^^ exactly,, all young babies do scream, usually for a need.
My Grandson is 3 months, he still has random hour or so of screams and nothing will comfort him but his mom's boob. lol and not for feeding either.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 135
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/28/2018 11:03:44 AM
I think what would be optimum is for both the man and woman to work an equal number of hours but less hours overall. For instance, instead of the guy working 60 hours a week and the woman staying home, maybe have the guy work 30 and the woman work 30. However, that might not work because many workplaces only give fulltime employees benefits and on average men make a lot more money than women. But if both have relatively equal-paying jobs then I think it would be good.

I currently work 36 hours on average a week. When I was with my ex I worked about 50 hours a week. I worked extra hours because I could pick up last minute shifts and overtime which I can't do now because of zero lastminute childcare options. That was the only advantage to having my ex because at least he was free childcare, albeit not the best childcare. He did zero housework but he did at least cook sometimes and he kept the kids safe. Although in probably 9 years he begrudgingly bathed the kids maybe 10 times and rarely brushed their teeth and never got them ready for bed or read them bedtime stories.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 136
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/28/2018 5:12:51 PM
^Some fathers have been there and not complained about the women, no actually they cleaned and cooked as well just did the work that wasn't done. You know why cause what does the argument really do other than cause damage to the kids, and it needs to be done complaining about it not getting done won't get it done. Thirdly your living there too whether their there or not the cleaning has to be done so you do it.

The thing is I taught my kids they are only responsible for their own mess, their own things no one else's so at the age of 4 my kids put their stuff away themselves. If I came home and their stuff was out I would ask, who's is this? They immediately take say sorry I forgot put it away their mother said how do you do that? Her stuff was lying around I smiled and started cleaning threw her stuff in garbage, she ran to the garbage asked me what the heck I was doing? I said you don't clean up your mess it goes in the garbage when I get home.

Dishes same thing after every meal my kids scrapped, put the dish on the counter to wash no dish sitting there for me to wash meant they don't eat the next meal no clean dish or they eat on a dirty dish their choice.

They had friends over their friends would have to clean their own mess, or they cleaned their friends mess if I had to clean that mess those friends aren't allowed back in my home.

It's simple you don't fvck with my rules you come into my home you follow the rules you don't like it don't come over I don't give a shit.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 137
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/29/2018 7:45:10 AM
You seriously put your wives things in the garbage because she hadn't cleaned them up by the time you got home? No wonder your marriage ended.

I used to get so ticked off because my ex always threw his clothes on the floor. I asked him several times to just put things in the hamper. So I used to do it for him and I would wash his clothes too and put them away. Finally I had enough and because I didn't want the mess in our bedroom I started piling his clothes into a big garbage bag in the back porch. He used to get so mad about it too but I refused to wash his clothes if he couldn't even put them in a hamper plus I didn't want our room looking like a disaster. What would also make me angry though was when he'd go to wash his clothes he'd throw the laundry I had in the washer onto the floor, couldn't even be bothered to throw it into the dryer even if it was the kids' stuff. Anything he did he would leave a mess behind, he was such an inconsiderate slob. Instead of helping and being a contributing force in the household he just created more work for me.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 138
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/29/2018 10:31:04 AM

Tech replyed
Then please dont have any if thats how you see it.
^^^ exactly,, all young babies do scream, usually for a need.
My Grandson is 3 months, he still has random hour or so of screams and nothing will comfort him but his mom's boob. lol and not for feeding either.

I don't intending on having one for atleast 6 years if at all. It's important to my boyfriend to have kids so I will atleast think about it. I used to really want kids till my sister had her baby. Her boyfriend really didn't want the pregnancy and wasn't bonding, just put me off the whole thing. Her pregnancy was rough also.
Trust me I know, my sister who lives with us had a baby. He is 7 months old.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 139
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/29/2018 11:53:31 AM

I don't really want to but my boyfriend does. He said he would be a stay at home dad and take care of the baby. So maybe in a few years.


You are a complete sucker if you have kids only because your boyfriend wants one. I turned down a date with a woman last night because she wants to start a family and I don't want kids. These situations never end well.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 140
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/29/2018 12:09:22 PM
To piggyback on that thought, what do you do if you divorce, then end up with children you never wanted? If you get most or sole custody, because he divorces the kids along with you, or he just shouldn't get custody, you're stuck with a huge lifetime responsibility, while he's out getting laid.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 141
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/29/2018 12:28:07 PM
Wow a man who spends all his money and time on his kids - what a douchbag.

Sounds like his kids were grown, needed help, the man needed help to help them, and thought that she would just pick up the cost.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 142
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/29/2018 12:41:17 PM

...............what do you do if you divorce, then end up with children you never wanted?


Was this intended to be a real question?

IF...………. I never wanted children, I would have,
A. Never had sex
B. Never had sex with the opposite sex.
C. Had surgical sterilization.


Divorcing,...……... had nothing whatsoever to do with my children. I chose to have children with or without a husband.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 143
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/29/2018 1:02:24 PM
It was directed at Sienna, but applies to anyone, male or female, that agrees to have children for their spouse when they don't want them. That happens a lot.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 144
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/30/2018 10:46:11 AM

You are a complete sucker if you have kids only because your boyfriend wants one. I turned down a date with a woman last night because she wants to start a family and I don't want kids. These situations never end well.

I'm just not sure because I used to really want kids for the longest time then a series of unfortunate events happened. Either way it wouldn't be for years and he said it is not a deal breaker and he is fine with us not having kids.
I think like just in an "ideal" world for him he has a hope that he would and always saw himself having kids.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 145
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/30/2018 12:44:27 PM
I hope you're also taking into account that youre young and dont have your own place to live and it says youre in school. You shouldnt even be thinking of having kids at this point in life.

IMO, at 25 you should be single travel and finishing education/building a career.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 146
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/30/2018 2:56:39 PM
It can work If/when both people follow the terms of their agreement. I knew a man that lost his job. Between his severance pay, unemployment checks, and his wife's salary, they had enough money to get by. For a few years, he took care of their young kids and did most of the household chores while she worked. Once the kids were old enough to attend elementary school, he got another job.

Things can fall apart when the stay at home parent neglects chores or the working parent thinks (s)he can make all of the household decisions because that person is the financial provider at the moment.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 147
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Ladies, would you want a stay-at-home boyfriend?
Posted: 7/30/2018 5:58:28 PM

Having a man at home either working remotely or retired sounds good to me as long as he recognizes the more free time one has the more chores you should be doing. Bills? 50/50 should be the only way.

I don't think so. A gal (or guy, in OP's case) may not be able to afford that. I think in OP's situation, it was fine -- but he was the type who couldn't hold it for very long. It had nothing to do with him not paying 50/50 on all bills -- otherwise, he'd be no more responsible for upkeep than she.

It was a clearly fair situation between OP and her reunited highschool BF and his situation. He basically played the role of a common live-in GF who didn't work much while the guy had a career. Thing is, when the significant other doesn't Appreciate their situation, they'll slack on their end of the bargain when it comes to cleaning & upkeep. Even if they Were doing a 50/50 split on all bills, the guy in OP's BF's situation wouldn't be keeping up his end of the bargain on the regular household chores and such. Less of a "blow" to the relationship if things were financially 50/50, but still something causing somewhat of a rift.

I guess it's a reminder that if you're going to get into a situation like OP's (genders reversed much of the time too) -- you want to lay it out Loud & Clear that they have to Appreciate the situation that they don't have to pay for as much as they would have if they lived alone or had a standard roommate -- thus have to Understand the need to make up for it in other ways like the upkeep of things, cooking, etc. if they're not working or not working much at all.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 148
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/31/2018 5:59:24 AM

I hope you're also taking into account that youre young and dont have your own place to live and it says youre in school. You shouldnt even be thinking of having kids at this point in life.
IMO, at 25 you should be single travel and finishing education/building a career.

I'm not lol. My sister is 2 years younger than me and just had a kid and she still lives with us.
I do quite a bit of travel, I've been over seas 6 times and my boyfriend and I are going overseas in December.
Uni is not refereed to as 'school' here. Since when was higher education 'school'.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 149
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/31/2018 7:24:47 AM
Any time you're learning at an educational institute you can refer to it as school or schooling.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 150
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Lazy malingers aren't my idea of hot dates.
Posted: 7/31/2018 7:59:09 AM
University, college, high school, elementary are considered school although maybe in Australia its different. In Canada post-secondary education institutions with bachelor degree programs or greater are considered university. 1-year certificate or 2-year degree technical schools or bible schools are considered colleges. So when Americans say they are going to college and Canadians say they are going to college it means two different things.
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