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 musicmakinchic
Joined: 2/13/2014
Msg: 26
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
It wasn't sexting... just flirting really on my end anyway.
I'm not sure what you mean about the Rate Images thing. Someone is shutting what down?
Yes I recently heard about the unwanted DP movement and I think its a good idea.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 27
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 5:50:54 PM


Guys, why do you send them? What purpose?


I never do unsolicited.

I let her initiate that stuff.

Not all men behave the way that guy does and he probably does because some woman in his past rewarded it.

I rarely get an unsolicited boob or nipple pic but I don't mind :)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 28
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 7:29:45 PM

Yes.. boundaries.. and I mentioned that. I told him I wanted to scale back the sexting and phone sex. He asked me to send another pic later and then a really bad text war ensued that went into the next day. After I sent the pic he texted "Where are your tits?" I said "OK I"m done." He said "I love teasing you lol." I said "You're not teasing." He said "OK fine. Be mean. You spoil everything. I can't be myself with you. I have to contain myself.. God sorry." I said "Well youre good at crossing boundaries... and no YOU spoiled it." He apologized and told me he was showing affection for me but it came out wrong and that he does respect me.

I dont know what to believe.


Wow. I haven't heard THAT routine since college. Guys in their late teens and early twenties (especially mentally) always said that women who say they don' t want things to get sexual too soon, are signalling that they want the guy to be more aggressive, so they are. Of course, the same guys say that when a woman says she DOES want things to get sexual too soon, it means the same thing. In fact, they always followed a surprisingly successful routine that exactly matched what has apparently worked on you too, which goes like this:

Step 1 Be reasonably charming, with a bit of insults tossed in as a sort of spice. Look up "negging" for why they do that.

Step 2, initiate sexy chat as early as possible. This establishes the subject of primary focus. If she doesn't instantly and permanently cut them off, it means she wants it bad.

Step 3, if she allows sex talk, but calls for it to be scaled back, increase it briefly, then claim you were kidding, and say something else for a change. Talk about the weather, or something else that is the exact opposite of sex.

Step 4, repeat the above several times, then in a firm and carefully serious put on deep voice, say you think the two of you should get together for something formal and "nice." Promise to be a perfect gentleman at least once, but mix in sexual innuendos to keep that door open.

Step 5, blame HER for making the fun go away, if she ever gets seriously upset. She will go into self doubt, and cave in to whatever you want after that, in an effort to both prove that she's "tough," and that she's really a "big girl," and that she's quite capable of doing whatever pleases her at the moment. Ironically, she will prove this last, by doing everything she continues to say she doesn't like at all.

I used to see that story played out over and over again.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 29
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 7:50:17 PM
OP: Good that you were able to recognize that you were not feeling okay with this guy and you wanted get feedback from others on this.


I think that this guy was 'grooming' you. Drawing you in and then seeing how far you would go.

Here is a link about adult grooming: http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming


' Grooming can feel exhilarating – at first. The predator employs attentiveness, sensitivity, (false) empathy and plenty of positive reinforcement to seduce their victim. For their part, victims can be so enthralled with, or overwhelmed by the attention they are receiving; they will often overlook or ignore red flags that might alert them that the person who is showering them with that attention is somehow “off”. Little by little, the abuser breaks through a victim’s natural defenses, gains trust, and manipulates or coerces the victim into doing his/her bidding'

OP; there are many wonderful 'real' men out there. Absolutely no need to lower your standards or waste your time.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 30
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 8:06:27 PM
OMG You just described my barber perfectly. Now I'm wondering if he got his training by YouTube videos and just watched every link about "Adult Grooming."
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 31
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 9:38:35 PM
My friend posted a pic of his poodle in a barber's chair getting groomed.

My first thought was...Somebody's getting lucky tonight!
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 32
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/30/2016 10:06:47 PM

I only send them when I'm drunk. I usually get blocked.

LOL


"He said "OK fine. Be mean. You spoil everything. I can't be myself with you. I have to contain myself.. God sorry."

Sounds like the dude is just a pervie. Not a bad pervert, just really into being overly sexual because the fantasy kind of
does it for him. I've actually had women send me pictures of their naughty bits quite quickly. "Like whoa what is... oh hello there!" -kind of fast. Not complaining, just saying. Some people don't really need to be totally inebriated to be uninhibited, the fantasy does it for them. This is the way he is expecting you to flirt (if you want to call it that) with him. He is looking for someone who is equally sexual and into the sexting and show me your boobies. I've had a few women get turned on just by hearing my voice. I actually talked to a woman who told me "I hate small talk, here look at my boobies". She was great.

But like all things, it's a two way street. These new kids don't know how to ease into the throttle. They mash the throttle all the way down and fish tail into a ditch. Maybe kind of test the waters first with your pinky toe before jumping into 40 degree nut freezing water.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 33
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:24:20 AM

Here's the thing... I still really like him.


Nothing is real until you meet face to face. Nothing even begins to be real until you have met 3 times face to face.

He violated your boundaries before you even met. He may be capable of being pretend nice for a little while, but it is going to get worst.

Move on.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:39:49 AM
Why do SOME guys do this? - The guys who do that know nothing about women. Clue: women today prefer a gentleman.

There are lots of undesirables on dating sites (they have to end up somewhere?). But there are good ones too, and you only need one.
 WhereforeAndWhyNot
Joined: 1/26/2016
Msg: 35
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Sweeney Todd on-line?
Posted: 7/31/2016 1:32:24 AM

” ' Grooming can feel exhilarating – at first. The predator employs attentiveness, sensitivity, (false) empathy and plenty of positive reinforcement to seduce their victim. For their part, victims can be so enthralled with, or overwhelmed by the attention they are receiving; they will often overlook or ignore red flags that might alert them that the person who is showering them with that attention is somehow “off”. Little by little, the abuser breaks through a victim’s natural defenses, gains trust, and manipulates or coerces the victim into doing his/her bidding'”

Damn… that sounds like pretty much every serial-killer I’ve ever heard of (except maybe Jack the Ripper). I wonder if unsolicited “dick-pic”ers are just wannabe murderers who haven’t built up the nerve to go further?

“You just described my barber perfectly”

Uh-oh…….
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 36
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 5:20:47 AM
I know it's hard being lonely, and it's so disappointing when someone you thought you might make a real connection with shows their true colors and turns out to be a creep.
But, don't let someone use your loneliness to manipulate you into a situation to use you.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 37
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 5:38:13 AM
Will never get idiots sending pictures of their anatomy to anyone nor would I!....I believe there are to many on a sight as this to police....
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 38
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 5:42:21 AM
It's your lucky day, OP.

Flaneur commented. She's the pro on this. You can take what she says to the bank.
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 39
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Posted: 7/31/2016 5:52:09 AM

The guys who do that know nothing about women. Clue: women today prefer a gentleman.

Oh how I wish that were true. But as a southern gentleman myself (at least I'm always trying), I respectfully disagree.
I've just now been reading an article "8 reasons why women don't like nice guys", and if that's true, it's a bit depressing. So now I'm looking for an article on how to be a jackass without really trying. But even after I've done more research, I doubt I could ever reach the level of thinking that sending a****pic is a good idea. At least not unless specifically requested. And that's never happened to me before I've gotten to know someone a lot closer than just a texting/email relationship.
As for the OP, I'm with the majority on this. This guy doesn't seem to be your type at all. Time to fish in another part of the pond.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 40
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Posted: 7/31/2016 5:58:38 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Maybe "Southern Gentleman" is a niche market. I couldn't be happier with mine. :)

However, I will agree that it took a good amount of self-discovery, therapy, maturing, and hard work to reach that point.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 41
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 6:54:56 AM

............very attracted to me and expressing it..


I have no doubt. All good sales people learn the technique that works for their audience.

The Fox and the Crow
Story by Aesop

A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.

"That's for me, as I am a Fox," said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.

"Good day, Mistress Crow," he cried. "How well you are looking today: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds."

The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox.

"That will do," said he. "That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future: "Do not trust flatterers."

OP, Some very good insight and advice in this thread. I agree with them.
Open your eyes, and do not rationalize for his behavior.

Keep the cheese!
 musicmakinchic
Joined: 2/13/2014
Msg: 42
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 7:06:14 AM
Thank you all so much for the input everyone! All the input has been very confirming and empowering. Igor.... wow what your post described is exactly how it seemed in retrospect.
 sleeps_in_mouse_pajamas
Joined: 6/26/2016
Msg: 43
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 7:57:42 AM
Here is another POF Thread on Dick Pics:
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15889519.aspx

I disagree with the comment that ladies these days are looking for gentlemen. There are 'size queens' out there and women who are just looking for sex like men are. The men who send these pics are usually well endowed (I've never received a dic pic where the guy's penis was small...never) and the men are used to having some women express their approval. At first when men did this and I wasn't in sync with 'sexting' and was offended and would voice my distaste. However, as more men continued this behaviour, I saw it as the norm and accepted that this is today's culture. Thankfully, it doesn't happen very often anymore and it could be due to my age.

For some men sending a dic pic is the norm and they're probably not used to women being offended. Well, the guy got a big surprise with you. Personally, I could never send a man a provocative photo because the whole process would make me uncomfortable and it makes me question how many other women they're asking. When men ask I let them know it's not my thing. I am not here for their entertainment or picture collection.

In regards to the confusing text you had with this individual where he said he was only joking and conflicting reminds me of a date I went on with a man in his late twenties last night. I ended the date and he texted and said he would have stayed out later and didn't know what to do as he wanted to make a move on me. I wrote back and told him it's best not to get physical too soon as it can be confusing. He replied with, "Yea...that's why I don't make a move to soon" then added "I am young and want to have fun in life and am not looking to settle down" even though his profile says he's looking for a relationship. With the last thing he said he forgot to add "with someone your age". I didn't hear back from after that because I made it clear I prefer to get to know someone before taking things to the next level. I don't see any benefit to doing it backwards.
 WhereforeAndWhyNot
Joined: 1/26/2016
Msg: 44
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Fox pics... question for crows and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 8:10:26 AM

In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future: "Do not trust flatterers."

Ah, great story. But, something’s missing. Inquiring minds need to know…. did the fox send her a dik-pic?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 45
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Fox pics... question for crows and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 8:53:53 AM
The term "nice guy" means a man who does not understand women. It probably came about because many of these guys bend over backwards when they first meet a woman, doing anything to please her........ such as buying flowers and gifts right away, and asking her out multiple times (her fist "no" should have been a clue she does not like him), thinking that he can wear her down as they do in the fantasy world of TV and Movies. It's guys doing too much, too fast, too pushy. It's a turnoff to women and in the extreme, stalkerish.

If you understand what's really going on here, you'll see that what this thread is about is the guy moving too fast with intimacy.
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 46
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Fox pics... question for crows and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 9:48:58 AM

I've just now been reading an article "8 reasons why women don't like nice guys", and if that's true, it's a bit depressing. So now I'm looking for an article on how to be a jackass without really trying. But even after I've done more research, I doubt I could ever reach the level of thinking that sending a****pic is a good idea. At least not unless specifically requested. And that's never happened to me before I've gotten to know someone a lot closer than just a texting/email relationship.


There's no such thing as a nice guy. If you really want to make some changes, start at the core and get rid of thinking
that you are a nice guy.

This is one of the best articles I've read about nice guy mentality:
https://domestigoth.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/the-friendzone-is-a-myth/


The term "nice guy" means a man who does not understand women. It probably came about because many of these guys bend over backwards when they first meet a woman, doing anything to please her........ such as buying flowers and gifts right away, and asking her out multiple times (her fist "no" should have been a clue she does not like him), thinking that he can wear her down as they do in the fantasy world of TV and Movies. It's guys doing too much, too fast, too pushy. It's a turnoff to women and in the extreme, stalkerish.


While I don't agree with everything this guy posts, this was pretty spot on.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 47
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 11:40:03 AM

When I got upset about it he told me I ruined everything and always seem to find something negative to say about him because I had told him I also wanted the sexting to stop before we met. ...... I guess I was hoping he would just stop the behavior and get back to where we were before.

Okay, this all sounds crazy the way he's acting. However, playing devil's advocate, I can see how he'd be merely stepping over the line in what he did + his reaction to yours:

Scenario: You're talking and bantering, great convo -- and then you're Both engaging in convo where it's creeping into sexy talk some. He goes with it, and so do you... but it going on too much about it, you're then not a fan of it, but don't say anything... you just try and subtly steer the convo back on neutral ground... but he's all worked up, so he (erroneously) thinks it's OK to send you a d!ck pic. You point out that that's not cool and also the sexting needs to scale back.

Now at THAT point if he said alright, alright -- and you two went into convo and the most he did was throw in some sexy remarks within normal convo but not trying to get into sex talk -- OK. But here's the problem -- it ensues:

I told him I wanted to scale back the sexting and phone sex. He asked me to send another pic later and then a really bad text war ensued that went into the next day. After I sent the pic he texted "Where are your tits?" I said "OK I"m done." He said "I love teasing you lol." I said "You're not teasing." He said "OK fine. Be mean. You spoil everything. I can't be myself with you. I have to contain myself.. God sorry."

It'd be one thing if he asked for a pic and no text-war, but you just sent a random one on your phone and he said that with a "j/k", as if to make fun of himself. After all, you've been engaging in sexting & phone sex leading up to this.

While you shouldn't expect it to go from X rated to PG in a heartbeat (will "ruin the mood" one will be worked up in), the a d!ck pic can be a "yikes" to throw things off to make the girl want to come back down to earth. If he can't for the most part himself -- then he's more than just in the mood... he just wants to pork ya, and that's it. Honestly, if you do meat him, don't expect anything more than hookups from him (the way he's demonstrated himself).
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 48
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:23:33 PM

After I sent the pic he texted "Where are your tits?" I said "OK I"m done." He said "I love teasing you lol." I said "You're not teasing." He said "OK fine. Be mean. You spoil everything. I can't be myself with you. I have to contain myself.. God sorry." I said "Well youre good at crossing boundaries... and no YOU spoiled it." He apologized and told me he was showing affection for me but it came out wrong and that he does respect me.


what stood out here is you sent the message that you don't mean what you say. you said you were done with him. you weren't.

if i'm you, i examine other aspects of my behavior closely to see where else i'm doing this - that is, setting boundaries and then allowing people to cross them. doing this tells a person that the next time you say no, they can ignore it without consequences as well.


was awarded one of the highest medical scholarships a person can get.

and i'm the crown prince of upper volta and will share a few of my millions with you if you help me get them out of the country.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 49
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 12:55:09 PM
Well the guys who send dik pix THINK they are well endowed.
Most have spend a lot of time fluffing :)
I thought you were KING of Upper Volta? sigh, I was used wasn't I? lol
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 50
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/31/2016 2:07:30 PM
Don't break your own rules. You seem too desperate to have any. Men do not ever do this to me... twice.
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