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 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 126
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

The manipulation......is the attempt to influence and persuade, in and of itself, it is neither positive nor negative.

But when the act of manipulation is predicated by a conscious.....self-serving.....intent.....using methods that exploit another's vulnerabilities.......that is a problem for me. And many in the "seduction" field do just that. :)


I don't believe they do, and it's not encouraged. It's more likely you're misinterpreting something as manipulation that isn't manipulation. If a guy's older brother gives his younger brother tips so he doesn't come across as needy or desperate, he's not manipulating women, he's just not being a moron. Like everyone else, I've made mistakes in dating and I changed my behaviour when I realized what was causing me to screw things up. It's more likely that a guy that has no knowledge of "seduction" is going to manipulate women by being insecure and controlling because he's coming from a place of scarcity instead of abundance. Also, some people are just jerks and will manipulate people regardless of any knowledge they have of dating. There's really no connection between the "seduction community" and manipulation though. I would actually argue most men become less manipulative when they become better at dating because they become less insecure and as a result, less controlling and needy.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 127
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Posted: 8/29/2016 9:49:13 AM

The word "negging" comes from negating your interest, not the word "negative". A neg can be a backhanded compliment, but the function is to negate your own interest, not lower her confidence

I think it is negative -- as in negative interest. It's making it apparent you're lacking interest -- which can make a gal with esteem issues question her confidence. Or a gal with good self-esteem lower her guard down because (phew) this isn't yet-another-guy macking-on-me, and sets a different tone than what they're used to, thankfully. One can take it to extremes in which she quoted as far as throwing "Hail Marys" is concerned, to change things up when in rut or whatnot, but I agree -- it's not defined like that. Passing in football isn't defined by throwing Hail Marys (but observe long enough, and you'll see one).

Someone wants to get better at something, so they learn how to get better. I'm not aware of any form of trickery.

I think it's a form of 'trickery' because you're acting like you're not interested when you are. However, I will say that virtually Everyone does this to some degree as a natural reaction in some situations. And even advised to by the wholesome, too. It's that you're doing it actively, not passively. But even though it's actively, it doesn't mean you're throwing the long-ball. It can still be subtle, because all you're trying to do is make the person believe they haven't won your interest by walking in the room. It's a "trick" because they have... but it's no more a "trick" than passively acting non-interested in a gal who's near you, that you're attracted to (by not looking in the eye, not paying attention to until you feel the time would be right).

The honest person looking for a healthy relationship doesn't find negging attractive. She just thinks, "he's not interested" and goes on to the next guy.

Not necessarily. A single gal who gets tons of attention and presumes you, you, and you want to get in her pants in a heartbeat -- and is used to guys coming on to her all the time, is going to find it refreshing if executed well. It's (usually) very subtle -- to set the tone that no, interest is earned, and the guy looks for more beyond looks (which isn't a trickery part of it at all, as far as relationships are concerned).

But you'd be surprised how many times a gal's possibly potential interest will become active toward the guy who Isn't that into her.

The manipulation......is the attempt to influence and persuade, in and of itself, it is neither positive nor negative.

If you define it like that, then the mere concept of boy going up to girl to charm her, even using grandmaw's wholesome advice, is 'manipulating' her.

If negging works on a woman who dates only to assure herself that she can win over the unwinnable....who's the person doing her wrong?

Exactly. If a guy says "Oh, nice sweater. My aunt has one just like it," to a fancy/uppity gal -- and it triggers something to open her up with intrigue about him because he's made it apparent he's not fawning over her -- what is he doing wrong? If it's borne out of her esteem and desire for validation, or out of it feeling refreshing that she can socially engage with a guy who's not hitting on her -- that means he's doing something bad?

In a nutshell, I think women (and men; people) don't want to believe that there's any underlying triggers that they're unaware of, that can be pulled to some degree to generate interest. They don't want sly moves "done on them". But at the end of the day, it's not any more "sly" than other basic common advice friends & family members will give. It's just that we're not used to These, hence, not feeling "in control" -- thus, "no way, can't work, won't work!!". Makes one feel inferior if it (gasp) were to.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 128
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Posted: 8/29/2016 4:19:10 PM
In this thread alone there are strong, confident women. " Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ".
Well maybe not quite like Superman, but darn close.
Somewhere along the line, we learned to sort thru, the "trickery", the foolishness, the negging, Whatever fakery you want to act upon/act with We learned from past experiences, how to tell the difference between genuine and fake.


You know that faint horrible smell, that follows you, and then you slowly realize you must have stepped in dog poop somewhere? You hesitantly look at the bottom of your shoes. Then groan, awwww shiat! You can't get that shoe off fast enough! Frantically your eyes search for paper towels, kleenex, toilet paper, ANYTHING to get that shiat off your shoe!

Kinda like my experience with my father AND some of the men I have met in my life.
You might not be able to determine where that stinky smell is coming from but you KNOW you're not smellin' roses.

For lack of better words, an honest, good man, does not need to stoop to foolishness. Or trickery, or manipulation or negging or ............................He will "smell good".

And for the record, No I don't want a pic of "him down there".
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 129
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/29/2016 5:22:26 PM
Ms. Lady....

I say.....save the negging....but I'll take the pic. :D

What?!

Don't judge.....I'm single. ;)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 130
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Posted: 8/29/2016 5:38:28 PM

What?!

Don'the judge.....I'm single. ;)


LMAO, At first I was , Huh? Then it sunk in, LOL No black robe here!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 131
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Posted: 8/29/2016 5:39:04 PM
kj521

Like you want to see a stranger's****pic and probably disembodied lol!!
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 132
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/29/2016 5:43:05 PM
^^^^^LMAO at you ladies!

It's been so long.....I would probably be wondering why someone was sending a pic of their finger.

Cause of course....I wouldn't be wearing my glasses. :/
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 133
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Posted: 8/29/2016 7:14:24 PM

I think it is negative -- as in negative interest. It's making it apparent you're lacking interest -- which can make a gal with esteem issues question her confidence. Or a gal with good self-esteem lower her guard down because (phew) this isn't yet-another-guy macking-on-me, and sets a different tone than what they're used to, thankfully. One can take it to extremes in which she quoted as far as throwing "Hail Marys" is concerned, to change things up when in rut or whatnot, but I agree -- it's not defined like that. Passing in football isn't defined by throwing Hail Marys (but observe long enough, and you'll see one).


Yes, that's the point. It's meant for an extremely small percentage of women that most men aren't chasing anyway. I'm not sure why people get so caught up in it with it's one of the least common situations that most people will never encounter.


I think it's a form of 'trickery' because you're acting like you're not interested when you are. However, I will say that virtually Everyone does this to some degree as a natural reaction in some situations. And even advised to by the wholesome, too. It's that you're doing it actively, not passively. But even though it's actively, it doesn't mean you're throwing the long-ball. It can still be subtle, because all you're trying to do is make the person believe they haven't won your interest by walking in the room. It's a "trick" because they have... but it's no more a "trick" than passively acting non-interested in a gal who's near you, that you're attracted to (by not looking in the eye, not paying attention to until you feel the time would be right).


It's definitely not a "trick" or a form of deception. You're right that everyone does it because of how people normally socialize. For example, if I go on a date and tell the woman right away that I like her and want to be her boyfriend, I will come across as desperate and needy. If I don't say that, I'm not being dishonest, I'm just not being socially retarded and sabotaging myself. A trick would be telling a woman at a club you're single if you have a girlfriend or saying someone else's fancy car is yours. If we count not being socially retarded as trickery, then 100% of men and women are tricking each other.



In this thread alone there are strong, confident women. " Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ".
Well maybe not quite like Superman, but darn close.
Somewhere along the line, we learned to sort thru, the "trickery", the foolishness, the negging, Whatever fakery you want to act upon/act with We learned from past experiences, how to tell the difference between genuine and fake.


You're missing the point here. Most women will never have to be concerned about negging. I'm still baffled why you would prefer men to remain terrible at dating instead of being proactive and learning how to bring more to the table. The men out there that want to get better at dating are concerned about being the best version of themselves so they can bring value to a relationship. What on Earth does that have to do with trickery?
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 134
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/29/2016 7:28:02 PM
"I think it is negative ..."



Well......there ya go! That might be the problem right there! You"re thinking!


Let me give you another definition of a NEG.....

"Neg (or Negging) - According to the Urban Dictionary, negs or negging are, "low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to advances". Although both men and women sometimes "neg" during early flirting efforts, this is a tactic first described by pick-up artists (PUAs). There are several explanations for the tactic, however, they all employ some sort of backhanded compliment, which temporarily lowers the target's self-esteem while leaving the speaker blameless. Theoretically, this lowered self-esteem in the target makes the speaker seem more attractive by comparison."


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201308/can-insult-make-you-fall-in-love


Now.....y'all ponder on that and get back to us. :)



*****For the record....I do believe that you, Mr. Coma, have good intentions. :)
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 135
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Posted: 8/29/2016 7:30:34 PM
Coma_white:

There's really no connection between the "seduction community" and manipulation though. I would actually argue most men become less manipulative when they become better at dating because they become less insecure and as a result, less controlling and needy.


Dude, you are spot on with this stuff. When you are socially awkward around women you tend to say the wrong things and kill any chances you might have had in the beginning. Women admit to putting up a "**** face" or use a "****y attitude" to make it harder for men to approach them. They use subtle, sometimes indeciferable, cues to make some sort of vague play at showing interest. A lot of times they will not come out and tell you directly what they want or mean. You are supposed to "read between the lines" and somehow read their minds.

Yet, for those gentlemen that wish to get better at learning to read the signs and become more comfortable with interacting with women, they are labeled manipulative. Seems a bit hypocritical. Are you supposed to spontaneously acquire the skills and confidence to approach women? Here's a thought... let us ask those guys that are naturally attuned to talking with women and being comfortable having conversations with them for advice. No, that's heinous and unheard of! Those men shouldn't find love and be happy!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 136
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Posted: 8/29/2016 7:57:40 PM

A trick would be telling a woman at a club you're single if you have a girlfriend or saying someone else's fancy car is yours. If we count not being socially retarded as trickery, then 100% of men and women are tricking each other.

And also being tricky can be purposely sending out a particular vibe that potentially has an impact, that doesn't actually represent how you're feeling. It doesn't mean you're tricking them into something, really. You're tricking them into thinking that you seem to feeling one way vs another. My point was that it's being no more 'tricky' than many things we naturally or are advised to purposely do, where we give off a certain vibe that's more in the opposite direction of how we feel. Like a girl acting like she's not interested in a guy who's around her Because she is, or a guy doing the same around a gal. Its 'pretending', and when done on purpose (consciously or subconsciously), it's trying to 'fool' them, to some degree, into thinking you're not really into them, when you are. Neg-hitting a bit more pro-active in that way, is all, ensuring that such vibe sinks in.

"What, you're trying to fool someone?" Well, yeah, to a light degree. If I'm totally ga-ga about a particular gal on a 1st date, and know that if I expressed how I felt about her that it'd understandably turn her off. And even if the vibe that I did so much, it would to some degree -- would I be wrong to give her Not the polar opposite impression, but a vibe of Not how I'm feeling on purpose? To give her the one where I come across as "Yeah, she's cute and stuff. She's cool. Just rolling with it. I'm weighing my options, no biggie...," even though that's not true? If I successfully project that vibe, I am trying to 'fool' her into thinking that's how I feel. When in reality, it's not.

But my point is, we do this naturally all the time on some level. Going Too Far is when people get frustrated. Like when you banter with a gal who's a friend of a friend, and she seems to hate ya, but you find out she actually likes ya (more found in high school). Or a guy throwing the Hail Marys acting like the girl is NOT all that and wouldn't think his ugly brother should waste his time with her.

But in the end, am I going to be upset if a gal acted like she wasn't that interested in me by razzing me some, because she figured I get tons of gals, but secretly did want me? No, as long as that didn't play out for too long, but as an intro thing at first, sure. Was she trying to 'fool' me in some subtle ways, on some angle? Yeah. The intro period can be awkward and difficult. My self-esteem wouldn't take hit if I bit.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 137
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Posted: 8/29/2016 8:39:35 PM

"Neg (or Negging) - According to the Urban Dictionary, negs or negging are, "low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to advances". Although both men and women sometimes "neg" during early flirting efforts, this is a tactic first described by pick-up artists (PUAs). There are several explanations for the tactic, however, they all employ some sort of backhanded compliment, which temporarily lowers the target's self-esteem while leaving the speaker blameless. Theoretically, this lowered self-esteem in the target makes the speaker seem more attractive by comparison."


That's not actually what negs are. That's just some hack at Psychology today that doesn't quite understand why they were created. The self esteem theory isn't even coherent. If you lower someone's self esteem, everyone would be more attractive, not just the speaker, so there's no advantage to doing that. A neg is short for "negating your interest" because any guy that approaches the most popular and beautiful woman in the room is basically assumed to be attracted to her because every other guy is. She gets compliments and drinks bought for her all the time. A guy that wants that kind of woman only really has a shot if he comes across differently than every other guy that acts interested right away and offers drinks and compliments. It simply comes down to if the guy wants to be another chump used for drinks or someone she's attracted to.
You might be talking about someone else's version of a neg which doesn't bare any resemblance to what an original neg was. It was originally created as a technique of not saying what the usual interested chump would say. People are wrong when they think a neg is an insult. Popular women are also used to getting insulted by men that feel hurt that they've been snubbed after buying her drinks and complimenting her. Guys that are naturally good at dating don't need help with banter and flirting, so basically, a neg is just part of breaking down the usual banter that happens between non socially retarded men and attractive women.



Dude, you are spot on with this stuff. When you are socially awkward around women you tend to say the wrong things and kill any chances you might have had in the beginning. Women admit to putting up a "**** face" or use a "****y attitude" to make it harder for men to approach them. They use subtle, sometimes indeciferable, cues to make some sort of vague play at showing interest. A lot of times they will not come out and tell you directly what they want or mean. You are supposed to "read between the lines" and somehow read their minds.


Exactly. Like I said, not everyone is a natural when it comes to dating, so all that's happening is that some guys need to break things down into baby steps they can understand. That doesn't make what they're doing dishonest. It just means they didn't develop the right social skills to be successful at dating and need extra help.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 138
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Posted: 8/29/2016 9:42:43 PM


In this thread alone there are strong, confident women. " Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ".


and, my favorite part, some do it in high heels :-)



Well maybe not quite like Superman, but darn close.


You're right... not quite... he doesn't do it in high heels. Such lack of ability is a dealbreaker. There is no doubt that red toenails trump red boots. No amount of negging can change that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 139
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Posted: 8/30/2016 2:21:51 AM

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201308/can-insult-make-you-fall-in-love

It's not best to look it up there, or in any newer extreme flashy PUA sites either. Best to look it up where it started from. Urban Dictonary has a good definition of it, and represents where it started from:

The neg hit is the male act of deflating an attractive woman's best features in a way that is neither insulting or demeaning, but only suggests innocently or playfully that he is not phased and should not be expected to react to her features as other men normally would.

The advantage of the neg hit is two-fold when used proper and effectively. It first allows a man to distinguish himself from other men who, in her common experience, fall too readily for her because of her features. The second advantage establishes the assumption to a woman that the man using the neg has associated with, hence is worthy of, attention from other women who possess the same asset(s) that are being negged.

Examples in other forums about the subject, here are some good examples:

Me: So what do you do?
Her: I'm a model
Me: Oh really, like a hand model?

... and best to say that one with it still carrying some importance -- not pshawing them. I mean, if one's a hand model for a living -- that's certainly a pretty sweet gig. Again, you're not being demeaning.

You: "I like your snake print pants!"
Her: "Thanks"
You: "I ran into a friend tonite, she has a pair just like em"

Reverse the situation. A gal comes by me and says the same thing. At first I think she's coming on to me (which as a guy I'd like by itself because I'm a guy). But her next statement -- I'm not thinking she is in fact interested. Not that there's a blatant anti-interest per se, but oh, okay. Mine aren't that original even tho she complimented them -- and her reference to a guy she knows to go along with it is a sign that she's not trying to flirt or mingle with me in-that-way.

- "You have something on your face" (Motioning like she has something on her cheek)
- "Interesting choice of hair color, is that natural?"

And as always said -- you do it toward seemingly over-confident women, and no, it's not trying to be a magic bullet as nothing is.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 140
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Posted: 8/30/2016 2:41:03 PM

You're missing the point here.


LOL Oh I seriously doubt that. I'm too old and wise. The "Negging "ship sailed on .........around me. I got, the concept of "negging", and all the other funny silly games, "wanna be's " put into action.

As GTO so nicely put it:


The honest person looking for a healthy relationship doesn't find negging attractive.


For any of the examples, given so far, to explain, "negging", if tried on me, I would have snorted. Actually, out loud ........Snorted!


There is no doubt that red toenails trump red boots. No amount of negging can change that.


LOL, No need to "trump". Have both. Red toe nails AND high heeled red boots. LOL Ladyinred!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 141
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 5:59:26 PM
Way back when negs were invented, the ones to memorize (no kidding) were:

"nice hair--those are extensions, right?"

"nice article of clothing--oh, hey, you left the tag on" (and you actually carry a tag in your pocket)

"nice nails, I just saw another girl wearing those"

Now...imagine the type of guy who wouldn't get laughed at, using these. How much of a catch does he have to be? if an overweight slub dressed by his mom used this on a Nine, would she just flip her hair at him and laugh about his weird little opinion? how much self confidence would she need to dismiss him? For a neg to work, she has to actually care about his opinion about her.

I used to work with a gal who likes the attention she gets from men with her slender figure and sensual attitude in life. So, I didn't give her the attention other droolin' dudes gave her. So she flirted with me a bit more. But it didn't lead her into thinking of me in a sexual way (I know b/c she passed me a note with her phone number on it to a dieseled-out dude I knew, hoping there'd be a way to cheat on her fiancée somehow. So apparently when she wants a guy, she will step out). A neg may work on someone who's already looking to play games or is out to get attention, but still, she's going to decide who's hot enough to actually hop into bed with.

now, imagine a healthy woman, being approached by a guy asking if her hair was extensions--she'd tell the truth, and leave it at that. If he pulled out a fake tag, she'd laugh along with him, b/c duh, what's so wrong with leaving the tag on? she can still be cool. If she's got the same nails as someone else, is that really a bad thing? She's got a healthy attitude about herself, and how she appears to other people.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 142
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 6:08:13 PM
Only losers try negging - and it seldom works
When you are reduced to trying a time worn and no one buys it routine
Like Jerry Lewis you should retire
Sigh
Why not just say you are dressed funny and I wouldn't fuk you for practice
Results the same, she goes home, tells her squad and they laugh
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 143
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 6:19:30 PM
Anybody get any****pics lately? You know what's kind weird? I never really looked at them. I wonder why that is?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 144
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Posted: 8/30/2016 6:23:47 PM
GTO, You are my new best friend. You nailed it!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 145
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Posted: 8/30/2016 7:30:19 PM

Now...imagine the type of guy who wouldn't get laughed at, using these. How much of a catch does he have to be? if an overweight slub dressed by his mom used this on a Nine, would she just flip her hair at him and laugh about his weird little opinion? how much self confidence would she need to dismiss him? For a neg to work, she has to actually care about his opinion about her.


Using ridiculous examples doesn't prove a point. A homeless guy off the street that smells bad isn't going to have success using negs with the most popular girl in the club either. I actually think a guy that's overweight can have a lot of success if he comes across as the "fun" guy and says things like "rub my Buddha belly for good luck". Lots of chubby guys pick up gorgeous girls at clubs. It's not all buff 6'2 men. A lot of the time, the guys that go to the gym every day can be more insecure than a chubby guy. But that's all beside the point. If you're aiming for the hottest girl in the club, you should probably take care of yourself at the very least. I disagree that she has to care about his opinion though. Approaching with a neg communicates that a man is different than the typical men that approach her and supplicate. That automatically sets him apart. It has nothing to do with opinions, it has to do with social value.



I used to work with a gal who likes the attention she gets from men with her slender figure and sensual attitude in life. So, I didn't give her the attention other droolin' dudes gave her. So she flirted with me a bit more. But it didn't lead her into thinking of me in a sexual way (I know b/c she passed me a note with her phone number on it to a dieseled-out dude I knew, hoping there'd be a way to cheat on her fiancée somehow. So apparently when she wants a guy, she will step out). A neg may work on someone who's already looking to play games or is out to get attention, but still, she's going to decide who's hot enough to actually hop into bed with.


It probably would have lef to her thinking of you in a sexual way if you pursued it effectively. I don't think all beautiful women cheat just because you know one beautiful woman that steps out on her fiance. It's probably a bad sign if she's an attention seeker, but a guy knows what he's getting into if he gets involved with an attention seeking woman. The thing is, it isn't only attention seeking beautiful women that get lots of male attention, it's beautiful women in general, some of them very down to Earth, so a man still needs to stand out from the crowd in both situations.



now, imagine a healthy woman, being approached by a guy asking if her hair was extensions--she'd tell the truth, and leave it at that. If he pulled out a fake tag, she'd laugh along with him, b/c duh, what's so wrong with leaving the tag on? she can still be cool. If she's got the same nails as someone else, is that really a bad thing? She's got a healthy attitude about herself, and how she appears to other people.


There wouldn't be a reason to use a neg unless she's someone that gets hit on by a lot of men. I'm not sure what you mean by healthy woman, but I assume you mean a stunner who also has a good personality. If that's the case, like I said, the guy still needs to stand out from all the other boring men that supplicate and offer to buy her drinks. He basically has to present himself as the opposite of those men and a neg is just a pre-packaged idea to help him do that. It doesn't mean you can't come up with your own ideas about how to be successful.



Only losers try negging - and it seldom works
When you are reduced to trying a time worn and no one buys it routine
Like Jerry Lewis you should retire
Sigh
Why not just say you are dressed funny and I wouldn't fuk you for practice
Results the same, she goes home, tells her squad and they laugh


This is completely out of touch with reality. The only reason people passed on the idea of "negs" with hundreds of other ideas is because they work. If they didn't work, they would have been thrown out with the hundreds of things people tried and didn't work. The whole point is that all of these ideas have been tested and proven to either work or be ineffective.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 146
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 8:09:01 PM
Oh Mr. Coma......you know I like you.....but.....

Geeze Louise! I would respect your arguments for the "neg" if they were backed by social psychology and some cognitive theories. Use THOSE to tell us WHO they work on and Why they work.

Sometimes when you truly understand the process occurring behind the methods you understand why they might not be such a good thing. :)



Riddle me this, Batman......

"Most women will never have to be concerned about negging."


Why not? ;)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 147
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Posted: 8/30/2016 8:54:24 PM

Geeze Louise! I would respect your arguments for the "neg" if they were backed by social psychology and some cognitive theories. Use THOSE to tell us WHO they work on and Why they work.

Sometimes when you truly understand the process occurring behind the methods you understand why they might not be such a good thing. :)


It is backed by social psychology, but the important thing is that it's based on trial and error. You have hundreds of people trying things hundreds of times and sharing what works and what doesn't work on message boards and in person. The junk that doesn't work is thrown away if it has a low success rate and the items that work get the most attention. As for social psychology, it's basic conditioning. There's no reason to think something is negative because you understand how it works. That's a negatively biased mentality. Anyway, a woman that is getting constant attention from men asking if they can guy her a drink becomes desensitized. She has to become good at brushing guys off, it's not like she's going to have 1000 boyfriends. It's just basic psychology that she will be more interested in a man that has a high social value and men with high social value are comfortable around beautiful women, they aren't affected by their beauty. That's why the whole idea is to act in a way that's the opposite of what the men that put her on a pedestal do. This is just one technique for people that aren't naturally good with women. Naturals do it unconsciously. I wouldn't say it's a very important technique, but it doesn't hurt to know it if the situation comes up. I think building a personality that's non needy and self amused is way more important.


Riddle me this, Batman......

"Most women will never have to be concerned about negging."


Why not? ;)


That's easy. They're clearly something reserved for the top few women that get an usually high amount of attention from men. It's like a tax that only applies to billionaires. It wouldn't be strange if that tax didn't apply to everyone. Some people use negs more often because they're not good at communicating their social value without them, and that's okay too, but that's not something I would do.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 148
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 9:20:56 PM




It is backed by social psychology,


In what asylum ?... does that mental disorder have a name ? (sounds like... insecurity!)



the important thing is that it's based on trial and error.


Indeed... mostly error.



man that has a high social value and men with high social value are comfortable around beautiful women


The reason men with "high social value" (what the hell does that mean !???) are comfortable around beautiful women is because they are looking for more than beauty in a woman. (there you go, now you have the secret of how to be comfortable around beautiful women... look Mom, no neggin!)



That's why the whole idea is to act in a way that's the opposite of what the men that put her on a pedestal do.


Neggin isn't the way to accomplish that... looking beyond physical beauty is... (save the pedestal for those who have more to offer than fading physical beauty)



This is just one technique for people that aren't naturally good with women.


You got that right... neggin... that's how they go from being bad to being worse.



Some people use negs more often because they're not good at communicating their social value without them,


Their neggin attests to that.

Now... could you shed some light on what is a "man with high social value" ? (characteristics and comparisons with a man with "low social value" would be helpful.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 149
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Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/30/2016 10:00:48 PM

Neggin isn't the way to accomplish that... looking beyond physical beauty is... (save the pedestal for those who have more to offer than fading physical beauty)


Lol. That's exactly what negging is. It's a way to describe what men who aren't affected by physical beauty are doing. Playful banter is commonplace between beautiful women and men that don't put them on a pedestal. Describing something doesn't mean it doesn't exist and isn't helpful to people that need help with dating. A lot of people have this silly idea that putting effort into getting better at something is bad.


Now... could you shed some light on what is a "man with high social value" ? (characteristics and comparisons with a man with "low social value" would be helpful.


You seem to have all the answers. I'm sure you can figure it out. Just give it some... thought.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 150
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 8/31/2016 7:06:56 AM
Gosh, if i'm your new friend, what was I before? :) lol

Now for Com's Norwegian impression: I've done the PUA thing, and found it didn't work for me unless the woman was already horny (drunk, full moon, hadn't had it in a while, etc) or if she was in my league. She might flirt with me, maybe even go out on a date, but I wasn't going to get any play. A crude analogy is a salesman taking a client out to dinner--unless the client literally puts their money where their mouth is, there is no sale. A chubby fellow might get a lady's attention (from what women have told me, its usually when the guy isn't bad looking to begin with, he's just let himself go a little bit). and that gets our attention b/c we don't expect to see it. so we ignore the number of times we see what we expect--a handsome guy gets the attractive lady. In his book The Game, Neil Strauss points out that many of the PUA teachers he met weren't ugly. His first one, Mystery, was tall, attractive, and mostly importantly, narcistic. the women he got, weren't exactly Pollyanna.

a gym dude may be insecure, but if he's good looking, then a woman is "his to lose". he's got a foot in the door. If a forumite flirted with a lot of guys around here, if she made it sound like they had a chance with her, if she sounded like a drunk soriety girl in heat...is she really going to hook up with the first guy to take her bait? Or is the reason she hasn't had it in a while is...she's picky? I think she has to care about her potential paramour's opinion (if he has no value, why is she with him?), and I say that b/c when I tried to neg, it never worked on some bubblehead who couldn't care any less than she already did about my opinion. in one ear, out the other. just like when a woman I wasn't interested in, tried her best to flirt with me. I ignored it, b/c it wasn't something I was looking to hear.

my flirty coworker did indeed, one day, laugh at a joke of mine and say if she was single, she'd date me. Was it real, or was it just more attempts at attention? But like I said, she had the hots for the dieseled dude, and took a step to make something happen, passing along her phone number. so, if she wants the temptation to cheat, she'll do it. he got that behavior/action from her, I did not. And he wasn't negging her, he was just showing up being attractive.

when I said a healthy woman, I mentioned a healthy attitude about herself, and her approach to life and what's important in a relationship. Some PUA would likely try to neg her anyway, b/c she's attractive. He's playing the odds by playing the room. Now, its true, a fellow who is a male model might meet her, think she's nice, and not see her as anything more than that. He's not negging her, he actually doesn't see her in his league, and if she's hot for him, she might work to get his attention. But if turns out she's in the mood for just his attention, not his body or his personality now that she's gotten to know it...she might just dance with him, get some drinks from him, pass a fake phone number and let it be nothing more than that. they both just did the mating dance, and that's all it was.

PUAs did indeed try out different tactics, saw what worked and what didn't. But as the Game pointed out in the second to last chapter, the canned lines eventually got played out on the Sunset Strip, and girls no longer fell for the questions designed to get them to feel emotions, the magic tricks, and other routines. I still get email from these people who say the Mystery Method is dead, they've found new routines that work. Assuming that's truth and not sales pitch, it suggests that there isn't a system that works flawlessly, only on certain women who don't know it yet.
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