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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?      Home login  
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 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 26
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The anti stupid prejudice in this country is really hard on some of us. Oh sure, to your face they're all nicey nice. But I hear you talking. Do these comments sound familiar? "My sister is dating one. We're all terrified they'll have children together.". Or, "Can you imagine working for one? - I did work for one, it was horrible."

I think I should move to America. After all eight years before they elected their first black President.... And it seems like many there want another stupid President.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 27
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 8:17:28 PM

Asking for a hatless pic is pretty low on any real-life priority list. I'd put in on the same level of relevance as a bra-less pic for a woman.



No way is it the same level of relevance.


The Hell it's not. It isn't really even a question of appearance that's being played here --- it's a stupid passive-aggressive way of demanding to know -- is this guy a liar -- or not? Please tell me; PLEASE tell me, how a push-up bra, or girdles, or makeup, or elevated shoes, or specific camera angles that show nothing but a face and shoulders - doesn't make one appear deceptive in some way or another?

People hate being lied to - and people lie a lot in online dating - but the reasons why is pretty damn obvious --- there's very few consequences for doing so. People can pretend to be whomever they want, appear to be whomever they want - and, most importantly, pretend their Match is everything they WANT them to be. Lying to others may be easily proven with superficial evidence like a photo - but hundreds of thousands of people in here are indeed lying to themselves about what they believe is their 'equal' - and proving a fantasy like that - an idea - is false - is a lot harder to do.

If you ask to to see a guy without a hat on, what's the harm in asking to know a girl's true weight, or true height without heels, or her true body shape when she's not stacked up and doctoring up camera angles? Like I said - this is not a playing field where YOU get to make the rules. You get what you get. It's up to you to decide if they are worth the risk, or move on - and that's all there is to it. You won't ever know the truth until you get out there, so stop looking for shortcuts from the all-powerful can't-be-told-you're-wrong position sitting behind a glowing screen.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 28
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 8:25:29 PM
How many would take a pic of their feet on a scale or standing next to a door frame?

Crickets.....
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 29
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 9:31:25 PM
Just be straight forward and politely ask him if he has any additional pictures of himself without a hat. If he refuses, then chances he is balding or has some type of scar on his head.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 30
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 9:38:01 PM
^ Or the top of his head may be missing altogether.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 31
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 9:42:25 PM
Circumcision isn't that severe baby.

Have you ever seen a cut man? Jaysus
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 32
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/4/2016 9:48:57 PM
Is this where all the men start disclosing whether or not they're circumsised? It's like, I want to know, but I don't. Want to... don't.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 33
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 5:43:07 AM
I would Clooney so hush the crickets.
We should be gently overlooking minor "flaw" in others like we do our own.
Who cares if they have thinning hair or a bigger tummy if they are a genuinely good person? Someone who might make us super happy?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 7:24:15 AM
Maybe he's got a steel plate!


How many would take a pic of their feet on a scale or standing next to a door frame?


- I hate feet. If I start seeing people's feet in profiles, I'm outta here! Run Forrest, run!
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 35
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 8:07:46 AM

:- I hate feet. If I start seeing people's feet in profiles, I'm outta here! Run Forrest, run!

WTF?? Dude! You don't distinguish between cute feet vs guys' feet?? Wasa matta wichoo??
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 36
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 5:29:34 PM

When I've made hatless pic requests for recognition purposes, some men replied with, "Are you scared I don't have hair?". It's not about that for me, it's about seeing what they look like and being able to recognize them in person. A hat alters how a person looks---it really does as it covers a person's forehead and head shape.


Simply let him know to wear the hat on the first meet so you can recognize him.
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 37
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 10:04:19 PM

What is the best approach in requesting a hatless photo?


I hope you do realize, that there is not polite way of asking for this.

It would be like me asking you for a picture, where I can see your body not hiding behind a desk, or wall. "No angled shots either, as those are deceptive". "And no leaning forwards" "I want to make sure you don't have a pot belly..." "Why don't you show any of your legs off? Do you have varicose veins?"

As ridiculous as the above sounds, that pretty much is how you'll come across in making the request.

I had women demand me to send pictures where I smile with my mouth open. I had no idea why, initially, until I had one tell me she had met men with missing teeth. I reassured her, I had 32, and they were all pearly white and perfectly straight with no gaps.

She wasn't having it. Questioned why I don't have pictures with them showing. I eventually just spilled the beans. I don't like forcing a smile, so the smiles that usually come out, are what you see on my profile. All natural, or no smile at all.

The fact someone would be this forceful about something so trivial, made it clear she was wasting my time. Next.

Long story short. Pick your battles. Nit picking from the start, isn't setting things up for anything positive.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 38
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/6/2016 12:00:39 AM
I have a pic on my profile that others have told me is unattractive, and that I should delete- but I don't because I do not want to be deceptive, and make myself appear to be thin when I'm not- same reason I have some no make up pics. Truth in advertising.

I can deal with almost anything in a man as far as looks go- with the exception of the horseshoe of hair. Soooooo unattractive.
My ex-husband had the horse shoe- could not convince him to shave his head.
A lot of men look really attractive with a shaved head, including on this forum. I wish there were an email preference option for no horseshoe hair.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 39
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/6/2016 2:50:10 AM
Be careful, he might respond to that question by sending a pen!s pic without a condom.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 40
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/6/2016 8:31:28 AM

The thing with hats is it does alter how a person looks and a person can be hard to recognize without a hat.


Just like when Superman puts on glasses as Clark Kent, and no one can tell it's really Superman anymore.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 41
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/13/2016 7:48:37 PM
Maybe I'm strange but all it takes is asking. I think I look better with my hats, and its kind of become a signature thing but I'd happily send someone a hatless photo if they asked politely.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 42
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/14/2016 4:15:20 PM

When I've made hatless pic requests for recognition purposes, some men replied with, "Are you scared I don't have hair?". It's not about that for me, it's about seeing what they look like and being able to recognize them in person. A hat alters how a person looks---it really does as it covers a person's forehead and head shape.


All beside my earlier point.

Here's the bottom line: the hat thing is important enough to YOU, to have a whole thread dedicated to it.

Therefore, again, ask straight out. You have established that you need to know for your own reasons, so you HAVE to ask.

The more circumspect you are, the less honest you will appear, and the more likely it is that the guy will respond negatively.

Since this IS so important to you, if he isn't going to be able to cope with being asked, he ALSO isn't going to be able to deal with your sensibilities. So it's a win win for you informationally, whether he takes offense (and confirms that you wouldn't have gotten along anyway), or he happily provides the picture, and allows YOU to decide whether to continue or not.

Again, ask straight out, and say why.

That, or play coy games, asking for other pictures without saying why, until he gets suspicious of THAT and gets offended, or he gets tired of the coy games, and either gives up, or takes offense anyway.

I'm just looking at the percentages for success here.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 43
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/18/2016 6:18:08 PM
I am one that is not impressed by men who wear their hats always, at dinner or indoors anywhere. There are worse things than baldness and if a guy really wants to succeed with online dating it is to his advantage to show his features as clearly as possible, right? Same with the sunglasses shots.
 A6K
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 44
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/20/2016 8:53:14 PM
"Do you have a photo without a hat?"
If he gets offended then he's a boy, if you are worried about offending him because he is good looking then you're a little girl.
Obviously this is coming from a shallow person who only cares about the pictures and physical desperation.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 45
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/21/2016 6:22:49 PM

Well, now that’s settled, maybe we can steer this thread over to complaining about all the women who add those same Snap-Chat "flowers" to their head, and seem to think it’s so cute and original.....


Or the puppy filter! I wanna see your face damnit!
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 46
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 9/9/2016 9:16:32 AM

Most men will assume a woman thinks they're suffering from male pattern baldness if she asks for a photo where he is not wearing a hat. This is not the case for every woman. There are profiles where the man is wearing a hat in every photo where there has been up to six---which is a little over the top. What is the best approach in requesting a hatless photo? I realize it's impossible to not offend some individuals.


Reminds me of the old song "Signs," by the 5 Man Electrical Band.....I'll take a liberty to rework the lyrics to the dilemma facing SIMPs prospective suitors....may be dating myself but maybe some here are old enough to know this song...

*******************
And the sign said "Bald headed men need not apply"
So I tucked my balding scalp under my hat and I went in to ask her why
She said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me datin' you!"

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' dating opportunities, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

********************

LOL
 Palazar
Joined: 1/17/2014
Msg: 47
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 9/9/2016 6:37:52 PM
I love this thread title! LOL

...but the hat is staying on.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 9/16/2016 9:38:14 AM
OP...Look for Men Without Hats, but don't ask them to do the Safety Dance!
 jharp05
Joined: 6/2/2016
Msg: 49
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What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 9/28/2016 3:30:17 AM
Ok - I'm guilty of this same behavior. I just don't have a lot of recent photos without a hat. Yes, it's a self image issue. It's nothing I can do about it. Believe me I've tried and it's frustrating. To accept that my happiness in life depends on one persons thought on whether I have hair or not. My thought is, that if Men had more positive encouragement rather than dirty looks or rejection from the female persuasion, them maybe it would boost their confidence a little and I wouldn't think twice about it.

I know its not up to the woman to do this for a man, but if it would help then why not?. I also know that females have their own self image issues, and I'm not here to discredit that. We all have issues, like it or not. Some just get through them easier. We're all here to find happiness in one way or another.

But my biggest question is how to break this news to someone without conveying low self esteem? say if someone has already been out with someone a couple of times. Is it best done in person, through conversation over text?
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 50
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 11/14/2017 5:59:52 PM
Ask them to provide a hatless photo. That easy.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?