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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're no      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 25
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
"Im very specific about what I prefer and my deal breakers - ie:married/involved men, etc. "

Well, yeah but we cannot *really* say what we do not want, or it would be a rant. OLD =getting msgs and interest from people you want to delete and block right away. That is the majority.

"It irks me that some guys assume sending an initial message saying that I should change this or that, when the guy is not even someone that I'm interested in."

1. When a human wants something, considering whether they can get it, are delusional, deserve it or are equal to it--does not enter into it. It's a kid wanting candy. They just want it and will until they get it. If not, whining, crying and whimpering, manipulating, lying..
2.Getting irked by people who are not self aware or treat others as they want to be treated=being pissed off all day long.
3.Putting up disclaimers sadly just starts defensiveness in some, like they need to prove they are decent people, even if not. It is giving them power by even referencing them, vs just deleting.

"This is a legit frustration, because I've had it happen a few times."

But they know it's wrong. Writing about it may make them hide it more.

"I believe you do have to preface certain things on sites like this, so that people know upfront."

They know. They just don't care about you.

" I've had a couple of said married/involved but cheating guys tell me that my standards were too high, because I will never be open to them."

True. So, can only ignore, block, delete..

"I'd never go to a stranger's profile and make suggestions to them. That is the most asinine thing and they'd think I was a complete idiot for that."

Yeah, well there are idiots, hard not to still be stunned by 'em, but just file them as idiots and do not waste a second on them.

Do some of you get similar unsolicited messages from others making suggestions of you or what to change on your profile?"

No, because I don't have a public profile and if I did, the bad and flaky would wear me down.

" Is that some backwards, mentally deficient attempt to get a response?"

What else do backwards, mentally deficients do? There aren't many options.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 26
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/7/2016 5:55:28 AM
Yes. It has happened to me once or twice or maybe more. I've been here since 2007. Not this profile but quite a few. I just write them a sappy poem and usually get lol or lmao in response.
 somewhatJaded14U
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 27
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/7/2016 6:19:12 AM

I think you meant suit not suite


Thanks!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 28
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/10/2016 6:48:45 AM
Your profile is negative and it's attracting the very people you are trying to avoid.
 2016summer2016
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 29
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/10/2016 1:44:03 PM
Not everyone who sends such advice is trying to get you to respond. I do it out of boredom sometimes or if I am generally trying to be helpful. If I suggest advice for your profile, then trust me, the interest is not there at all.
 edi6
Joined: 11/17/2015
Msg: 30
Nottie ville--apparently i meet a lot of women from there
Posted: 8/11/2016 9:20:20 AM
Her headline read: the more I date men - the more I love my dog
I politely responded that there are plenty of good guys out there as well and I'm sure the men in your own family (father, brothers, uncles etc) must be the best proof of that.
And since it's up to the woman to decide which guy to date and which one to dump, your headline should read: ' the more I choose the bad guys and dump the nice ones, the more I love my dog' ;)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 31
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/11/2016 9:48:52 AM

Your profile is negative and it's attracting the very people you are trying to avoid.

Great point. Her profile is going to beg question marks & critiques. It's not out of picking them up per se, as the person has an eyebrow raised already.

1. If you are NOT legally single - as in NOT divorced, involved with someone, living with someone, seeking sex; do NOT send me anything, period. This is NOT optional!!!

I could see how a Separated guy could inquire about this critically, especially with the tone that he's lumped in the same boat as a guy sneaking around on his wife in suburbia -- and that he's a heathen for it.

4. If dating was easy, we all wouldn't be on here.

I could see someone saying "Well, sites like this help Make it easy, so yeah, dating isn't that difficult..." :)

5. I'm in Thotsville, which is a military town that is high on thots, stds and it is ranked #10 in the nation, which is why I do not list myself there, but rather list myself in Raleigh.

This would inquire questions about it by any Joe just browsing profiles why someone would not want to be labeled in a military town because of it (and not having Raleigh as the city as said in profile).

8. I actually am realizing that I prefer younger men, based on my experiences and encounters in the south, but not under 30.

Her profile age set at 35, I could see someone saying "So only guys 32-34? Sure your age is 35? I think you're in your40s but looking great -- so you mean you prefer guys around your profile's age, since your age restriction is 32-45. How far off am I?"

9. Please don't favorite this profile until we've corresponded.

This one would really raise a "Huh?" from some leafing thru profiles. Favorites/bookmarks are made for those who Haven't corresponded yet. If you're already corresponding, there's no need for a bookmark, because they're actively in your inbox.

11. Michael Jackson, Tupac and Deon Sanders are not on this site, whoever you really are use your own images.
12. I'll never be a paid member, so I don't know see the "I'm not interested in meeting you" feature.

And with these too, and the list as a whole -- I can easily see a guy viewing the profile and thinking "Sheesh, it's negative city. Well, it can't hurt to say/critique something. She practically yelled at me reading her profile."
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 32
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/11/2016 10:45:10 AM
You have no control over what someone else does, so why let it bother you so much that your entire profile is a diatribe against imperfection as defined by you?

Grow up.
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 33
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 8/11/2016 12:11:36 PM
Every. Damn. Day. That's why I recently had to break it down to actually list my dealbreakers. Does it stop anyone from continuing to give me unsolicited advice? Not at all.

I continue to attract smokers who offer to not smoke around me. I'm an ex-smoker. I can smell that stale cig a mile away. The separated men are the real annoyances. Most of them aren't even separated except in the sense that he's in one room and his wife is in another.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 34
Nottie ville--apparently i meet a lot of women from there
Posted: 8/11/2016 7:02:17 PM
"I don't want to borrow money, I just want you to give me some :)"

>>>>hooo, boy, I could be naughty with that line.

"I need a console table"

>>>Ouija, I looked thru the gifts I can send to profiles....I see no consolation.

I blame the site.
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 35
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 10/14/2016 2:41:28 AM

our profile is negative and it's attracting the very people you are trying to avoid.


It transitioned to what it is, because 99.9% of the local guys that have contacted me tend not to read the profile and only focus on photos.

Before I listed disclaimers, I've had the following:
1. Married guys hitting me up. And, separated is married, I do not care about a person's circumstance that lead them to their current state. Some people need to take a timeout between relationships to focus on closing one chapter before moving on.

2. I've had guys contact me to be part of their already established relationship to be a third as a live-in...at least three times on here.

3. I've had angry guys contact me that were pissed off that they were not getting any responses from the previous parties.

4. I've had thugged out guys with long braids/dreads, gold teeth, saggin' pants, shades. Just NO. I know I'm in the south, but NO, that will NEVER be my type ever, EVER, I mean EVER, EVER.

5. I've had guys telling me all the sexual things they wanted to do. Needless to say, they made the block list.

6. My profile was actually NOT this when this originally was posted, someone was checking my history and decided to bring it back to the top. I guess they were bored. lol

7. Even if we list all the glittery, happy, fluffy, sweetness...it does NOT matter on this site.

8. Yes, people overstep their boundaries by unsolicited opinions, but often times they never look at themselves. That saying about pointing the finger and the rest pointing back at them definitely applies on this site, because whenever someone has tried it, it's been hysterical to see them and their profile. Just stating the obvious.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 36
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 10/14/2016 8:27:57 AM
I wouldn't consider those as "profile suggestions". Profile suggestions, in my opinion, are things like : you have run on sentences, you don't seem to know the difference between you're and your, or there, their and they're, your spelling is horrible, you need more or better photos, etc.

What you are getting is just bad pick up lines and tacky behavior. There is little you can do about that. We all get them. You just ignore and hit delete.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 37
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 10/16/2016 2:16:29 AM
I get loaded with unsolicited 'suggestions' because it's so hard to narrow down search choices to exclude both the fakes and secondly the people who don't really match you criteria but appear to be showing up anyway.

I've occasionally had unsolicited messages but in all cases they are fakes and normally very easy to figure out as fakes quickly. I've never had one genuine unsolicited intro message from someone genuinely attracted because of my profile, pics, etc.

I guess being a guy on a site where the ratio of guys to girls would have to be 100 to 1 or more, my profile could be randomly viewed a lot by female profiles that are fakes trying to scam money or somesuch for every genuine intro message.
 KuramaFox
Joined: 9/25/2016
Msg: 38
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 10/25/2016 11:00:51 PM
Not yet. Only been on the site a couple weeks though. And frankly, I would be quite open to suggestions on how I could improve my profile.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 39
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 10/26/2016 9:02:57 AM
Kurama, there is a profile review board here. Go post a request and we will all give you some feed back on changes to make.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 40
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 11/1/2016 9:45:37 PM
the more disclaimers you put in your profile about what you want and dont want, the more it is a red rag to some bulls.
They hardly read the profiles in lots of cases and just go for the pics. Dont take this online dating thing too seriously. You will come up against all types and learning to delete and block will be your best friend.
 CaptainAwesome1988
Joined: 10/5/2016
Msg: 41
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 11/1/2016 10:15:07 PM
I have only been on here for a month, but nope I haven't and I don't have the stones to tell another human being they need to change there profile up to accommodate my blue balls. LMAO backwards, mentally deficient attempt to get a response. You know there is a good chance it is. Lol this one woman I messaged said she hated beards a lot on her profile so I messaged back WTF why do you hate beards so much? What did one rob you at gun point and use the money to disappear? She thought that was hilarious and we had a normal conversation which I don't think a lot of people know how to do online or in person for that matter. Honestly I am really weary of this online dating. There seem's to be these extremes when it comes to the people using this site. With a lot of men it is this self entitled idea that woman should just talk to them regardless of if they are attracted to them or interested in anything they write on there profiles and throw a temper tantrum when there not given a shot, or there completely disgusting and cant understand why no woman wants to talk to them. With a decent amount of woman they seem to have no self confidence or value in themselves. It feels like there on here to get a relationship to give there life purpose instead of make it better and don't seem to care who with. This observation doesn't reflect everyone using this site, but for me it feels like a good chunk of them.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 42
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 11/1/2016 11:58:20 PM

I wouldn't consider those as "profile suggestions". Profile suggestions, in my opinion, are things like : you have run on sentences, you don't seem to know the difference between you're and your, or there, their and they're, your spelling is horrible, you need more or better photos, etc.

I agree her latest post of what she can't stand about men online most definitely wasn't about guys' suggestions at all. I think what she can't stand is the core of her frustration and all, but I think in addition to it too is guys questioning her about it with suggestions -- because she Puts her rants about men as pretty much her whole profile. Not a good idea for one's own best interest.

I would suggest not making one's profile like that, as it's throwing babies out with the bathwater. But more importantly to someone in her position, to take a step back and to shift gears from that frame of mind so much, and not to let it bother oneself so much. Otherwise, even if ya don't post a Vent about what you hate about men, if you still feel it too much, it won't be in one's own best interest. It's best to be open to take things from a different POV and not get so easily wound up -- especially when so pretty & otherwise having a lot going for oneself.

With that said, if at the end of the day (and not finally at the end of a year or two), one Can get great catches to their liking -- while having a bulletin of what they cannot stand about women or men who write them as their theme -- more power to them. But if one has any level of difficulty finding ideal/compatible matches, it's best to tackle things from a different POV (which feasibly, would require starting to look at things from a different POV in dating & the online world).
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 43
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Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 11/3/2016 7:39:00 AM
Good people read profiles, because they are genuninely interested in you.

If you want to come across as an angry, jerk with a profile loaded with angry disclaimers...oh well...good luck with that approach. The good people will ignore you, and the same lousy picks won't read it anyway.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 44
Nottie ville--apparently i meet a lot of women from there
Posted: 11/4/2016 3:23:41 PM
I just got some profile advice from what I suspect is a scam profile, since he just said he will be in town for two weeks and then has to go home ( wherever that may be). He asked if I lived alone and I made up some BS as to not give out my living arrangements, but did say truthfully that I live with my dog. He then said my profile was misleading because I did not have a picture of me and my dog.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 45
Nottie ville--apparently i meet a lot of women from there
Posted: 11/4/2016 4:33:56 PM
^^^
The only answer to that is "He's too big to fit in the frame."
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 46
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Nottie ville--apparently i meet a lot of women from there
Posted: 11/6/2016 7:33:07 AM
I've messaged people - with a disclaimer acknowledging that I wasn't pitching them - who have embarrassingly funny errors in their profiles, like the woman who described herself as having "a big heat," or obviously unintended ambiguities or contradictions. Most were amused and I had some interesting conversations, and one woman even messaged me back two years after leaving PoF and then deciding to try again.

I have also at times messaged (with disclaimer) persons whose profiles indicated they misunderstood some PoF features, in the manner of trying to be helpful to newbies. Usually with friendly thanks, sometimes with further conversation.

On rare occasions, I have warned people that an image might cause them problems, too.
ED BEAR
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