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 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 501
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday BluezPage 21 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
^^ Agree with all of this.


Then what do you think will happen on the date? What will be revealed?


What I meant was that it will reveal more about him and what his intentions are. I think we can learn a lot more by being with someone for even a short time in person, vs. many days of texting. But even if he acts charming on dates, his actions in between dates should be consistent with that, if he's really serious about a relationship. Not everyone is a big texter (I'm not), but the important things are that he does what he says, shows up when he says, doesn't ignore you (at least not for long periods of time), etc.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 502
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 1:58:07 AM
He's already told you that he doesn't think he has anything in common with you and that he wants to have sex with you regardless. At the moment, he's pushing his luck. Something tells me that as far as he's concerned, you could be anyone, just as where you're concerned, he could be anyone.

This is going to end in tears, isn't it?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 503
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 2:28:53 AM
We now wait for the outcome...*yawn*
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 504
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 5:06:56 AM
There's not going to be an outcome.

Much like the OP wants to pretend it is, this isn't a Danielle Stelle novel. The hero isn't going to come and rescue her. He most likely isn't even a hero. The jury is still out if the OP is a damsel or a troll and even needs rescuing. Even the OP vacillates between saying she needs rescuing and vehemently denying that she does. Nobody is really sure what's going on. The whole thing is more like a Kafka novel, really.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 505
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 7:20:20 AM
I don't think the OP is a troll. I do think she's naive, and I do think she's too wrapped up in the idea that someone might be interested in her to reflect on the reasons why. When this guy is finished with, there'll be another thread ready and waiting with a what do I do? title attached. If this little bit of dating history (three dates! in six weeks!!) was in any way robust, would she be here vacillating about it? Of course not.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 506
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 1:55:22 PM
ber 4 did happen yestuday, we hung out from 1PM to 11PM. We went out shopping around local stores, checking out the Halloween decorations, then went and got lunch, browsed around the mall, checked out an event held at the mall, then from there, went to a free outdoor movie screening at a local park, where there was free popcorn and lemonade, lots of people showed up, it was a good screening, and overall a really good date. At the end of the night, we talked from 10PM to 11PM, discussing the date, and what we both wanted from us dating one another, and the issues and us not hanging out much, or talking much, and everything from that discussion was solved. He prefers texting over chatting on the phone or video chatting, he doesn't find that form of communicating very effective, and he never has much to say in that form, as with texting he can get more out, and can express what he wants to say and his feelings more. As for him and I going out on more dates, that will be tough, him living 50-60 miles a way, which is 45 minutes to 1 hour drive time, is difficult when getting off work at 6PM, if he did that, him and I would only have a little bit of time to hang out, and then he would have to drive home and have to get up early the next day for work, getting up at 6AM to be at work by 8AM, driving to work takes him 45 minutes to get too from his home. So thats a lot of driving and work time to do. So him and I hanging out on Saturdays only is all he can offer due to his work schedule. When you think about it, I do understand his point of view, he does live far, he works 40 hour weeks, and is tired and getting older, 35 years old, he isn't young anymore and can't be running around like a 20 something. He has a life and needs to pay for his place, car, and work. He says he wants to spend more time and go on more dates but we can only go out once a week, and I am fine by that. I am accepting of him for him being who he is and that is fine by me.
 tizzabelle
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 507
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the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 3:23:18 PM
To me it is beginning to sound more and more like he has a wife/live-in. Why else wouldn't he want to talk on the phone/video chat. It is complete BS that texting allows anyone to better express feelings etc. It is a widely known fact that emotion does not translate well in a text.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 508
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the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 3:28:45 PM
So he has to drive a 120 mile round trip, hang around a mall (again), blag free stuff if he doesn't want to have to pay for everything and THEN spend an hour listening to you dissect your whole relationship so far. No wonder he's so reluctant. I don't think you're listening to what he's saying, Nataly:


He prefers texting over chatting on the phone or video chatting, he doesn't find that form of communicating very effective, and he never has much to say in that form, as with texting he can get more out, and can express what he wants to say and his feelings more. As for him and I going out on more dates, that will be tough, him living 50-60 miles a way, which is 45 minutes to 1 hour drive time, is difficult when getting off work at 6PM, if he did that, him and I would only have a little bit of time to hang out, and then he would have to drive home and have to get up early the next day for work, getting up at 6AM to be at work by 8AM, driving to work takes him 45 minutes to get too from his home. So thats a lot of driving and work time to do. So him and I hanging out on Saturdays only is all he can offer due to his work schedule. When you think about it, I do understand his point of view, he does live far, he works 40 hour weeks, and is tired and getting older, 35 years old, he isn't young anymore and can't be running around like a 20 something. He has a life and needs to pay for his place, car, and work.


He's too tied up to really be bothered. He doesn't call or Skype because he can't really come up with anything to say to you, because, as he's already told you, you and he have nothing in common aside from being in the same place for a few hours every couple of weeks.

35 isn't old. At 35, I was working 40 hour weeks, commuting into the city for an extra two hours a day four or five days a week and then making a 200 mile round trip at the weekend to come home to see my girlfriend and our new born son. Still managing to cycle for 80 miles a week inbetween. I've often dated women 45-60 minutes away and managed to see them two or three times a week, and that's in my fifties. If he's grumbling about it, he really isn't feeling like he can be arsed. He just doesn't want to tell you that.

I'm still struggling to see what you bring to this yourself. And fgs, "him [and I] would only have a little bit of time to hang out" is obviously not a proper sentence. It's this sort of thing that makes employers roll their eyes (assuming you ever meet one...)
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 509
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 3:52:15 PM
No your wrong. There are a lot of people in this world who DO NOT like talking on the phone or video chatting at all. And thats perfectly fine. I don't see why you can't see or accept that and consider it BS when it is not. I have friends who don't talk on the phone or video chat because of their anxiety issues stopping them from doing it, and they prefer texting, emailing, messaging family and friends etc. instead. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

Him and I do have stuff in common alright, if he did not want to date me, he would tell me, if he did not like spending time with me, he would cut the dates off early then spend 6 hours with me. He wouldn't drive out from a far distance if he didn't like me. So he does like me, he wants to spend time with me, he wants us to be Boyfriend and Girlfriend too.
 blackbirdfly2u
Joined: 8/23/2016
Msg: 510
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 3:57:45 PM
I'm thinking that Nataly thinks anyone with a full time job must be exhausted because she has no experience with a job, she is pretty much a house pet. And this poor guy is 35 and works so hard, poor dear. I wonder if Nataly feels sorry for her own father, who is much older than this guy, and poor Daddy is out there still working to support his 29 year old lazy daughter.

If this guy was serious, he would be making the trip at least once mid week. A guy that is really into his gal will make the time and make the trip.

I think you are the Saturday girl. I think he also has a Friday girl and probably a Wednesday girl too. He's 35 and still wants to play the field. He's had a taste of a relationship and lots of sex, why go backwards.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 511
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 3:58:09 PM
I had a friend who's older sister was like this. The more the family told her the bf was no good for her, the more she pushed to be with him, until of course "oopsy", cue the stork.

Keep going with this, Nat. You're keeping a thousand people here from being bored. SS454 can only do so much.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 512
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And I guess that's why they call it the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 4:07:46 PM

The whole thing is more like a Kafka novel, really.

Not at all. Kafka was very deep and introspective. What we have with Nat is just a bunch of adolescent wailing about life not being the same as a chick flick.
Kafka takes a reader deep into his unconquerable melancholy. Nat is not melancholy - she's just bored and insecure, like any 15-year old.
Kafka had a fear of his father the way pious men fear a god - Nat hardly touches on what her home life is at all other than Mom & Dad provide for everything. Does Nat even do chores around the house? Sweeping? Dishes? Painting a fence? Kafka felt despised by his parents ---- Nat feels entitled and ready to collect a huge dowry upon her wedding.

------------ Yeah, that 'no voice calls' thing sure sounds like a guy who's cheating on his wife. Also the fact that he drives clean out of town to avoid contact with anyone who knows him. Does he have friends? Has he mentioned any? The creep factor grows and grows.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 513
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 4:12:00 PM
Orange tiger....who are you trying to kid ?

Soon after my 35th birthday I had to start taking naps and using a cane .

By 37 , I was using a walker and planning my retirement.

Don't be so cynical you bullies you !
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 514
the Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 4:42:00 PM
There isn't any boyfriend
" talked from 10 pm to 11 pm"
Because at 11:05 one turns into a pumpkin
40 hour weeks, yea a killah
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 515
the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 4:47:12 PM
^^^^^


Sorry Ouija, I started to read what you wrote but....fell asleep - part of getting old I guess
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 516
the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 5:57:11 PM

I'm thinking that Nataly thinks anyone with a full time job must be exhausted because she has no experience with a job, she is pretty much a house pet.


A lot of people have made posts commenting about her not working or not looking (very hard) for a job. But she stated in a previous post a while back, that her life ambition is to be a stay-at-home wife with the guy as the sole bread winner, and people shouldn't look down at that as a goal, and any guy she gets serious with will know that, as well as the rule of no sex until marriage. She said she told the guy she's seeing this info, and he is agreement with those conditions. He told her he even felt guilty when the the thought of having sex with her without marriage entered into his head. The main question is: did the guy snicker behind her back, or is there something else going on?
 blackbirdfly2u
Joined: 8/23/2016
Msg: 517
the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 6:35:14 PM
⬆️ ⬆️. I get that. I guess it's a good gig if you can get it. I'm tired of being a grown up too , I have been doing it for a long time (I even raised a few to adulthood) but Nataly has yet to be a grown up. If she tried it, she might just like it. Spread your wings and fly dammit.

Did he "snicker", I'm sure he did and he had all his fingers and toes crossed for the lie. I still think he's got a gal in Kalamazoo or somewhere, she's not the only one. Mr. Normal 35 is gettin a little something somethin on the side.

I'm gonna change my profile, I want her gig.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 518
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the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 6:48:54 PM

...and he is agreement with those conditions.

yup, right before he ditched her on her birthday, confessed to cheating on his last girlfriend, and saying he had nothing in common with her.
If she's truly a conservative, shouldn't she be dating virgins...? At the very least get a STD test from this guy before you plan a wedding - you don't know where he's been.
It's okay if she has housewife goals - but - she never talks about housewife skills. How about some experience at daycare centers taking care of kids since that's what's in store 24/7.....and walking barefoot. She uses "conservative" as a catch-all to avoid explaining anything about how she intends to run a household. Update: Housewives don't just sit around eating chocolate all day.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 519
the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 7:10:47 PM
I know how to be a house wife, WITHOUT kids, I don't want any kids in my future. I know how to clean house, I sweep, dust, vacuum, water the yard, pick up after the animals, wash the dishes, wash the clothes, dry the clothes, mop, organize the fridge and cabinets, and I can cook too. I know how to keep a house hold neat and tidy at all times.
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 520
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the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:14:38 PM
yeah...but I am still not 100% convinced you were born with a vagina..just saying what we all are probably thinking..I am just bit chy enough to say it
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 521
the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:24:24 PM
Can you polish a knob or bob for an apple?

Are your fingernails trimmed?
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 522
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the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:35:13 PM
i forgot what I was going to say...

but, maybe that being a stay at home wife or stay at home mother is a job in itself, and people should stop berating gender roles and calling them worthless.

She'll probably find someone looking for the same thing.

There's no glory in being a single mom working two part time jobs and attending college... blah blah blah. Been there done that, didn't get a freaking trophy. I'd give my left arm to be able to stay at home and relax with my children. I also have dreams and goals. But, ya know, whatever. that's all I had to say I reckon.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 523
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the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 10:31:17 PM

Soon after my 35th birthday I had to start taking naps and using a cane .

Sorry Ouija, I started to read what you wrote but....fell asleep - part of getting old I guess


LOL! 😂


35 isn't old.


Thank you!!!


"him [and I] would only have a little bit of time to hang out" is obviously not a proper sentence. It's this sort of thing that makes employers roll their eyes (assuming you ever meet one...)


Now you’re just picking on her. Lots of employers could care less about grammar skills…heck, half the people who work at wal-mart barely speak English.


maybe that being a stay at home wife or stay at home mother is a job in itself, and people should stop berating gender roles and calling them worthless.


True, but Nataly has clearly stated she doesn’t want children. Still, back in the day women were expected to stay home while their husbands worked.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 524
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the over 35 Bluez
Posted: 9/11/2016 11:45:56 PM

I know how to be a house wife, WITHOUT kids, I don't want any kids in my future.

And pretty much the SOLE REASON most men would be willing to support you as a stay-at-home wife is now gone.
Unless you're going to weave and sell rugs, or can corral high-powered politicians to support your husband's career...you may as well stand in a dark closet all day.

As others have said, you offer no more than an ordinary house cat, which can be aquired for free from an animal shelter, and is much cheaper to care for and feed - and will actually go away while a guy has sex with visitors.
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