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 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 651
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The Birthday BluezPage 27 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
Nataly: others may disagree but it's my educated opinion that your last message derives from the same emotion that causes a four year old to hold their breath until they pass out, when their tantrums aren't working. It's my opinion that your head is so full of nonsensical introjects (I need to be married; I can't get a job; I can't study; I'll have a car accident if I drive etc) that you feel backed into a corner and you're lashing out at people because on the one hand, you don't want to be there with people crowding in on you and getting closer and on the other, it's a safe place you don't want to leave. You're afraid.

But leave you must and the people crowding in do want to help you out of it, whether you like the way they're wording it or not.

You like mixing (or the idea of mixing) within a lifestyle that's portrayed as somewhat hedonistic. That's not necessarily entirely factual for some but the rock music business has a reputation for sex, drugs and rock and roll. If you have a problem with that, why put yourself in the middle of it?

I'm 54. I haven't been drunk since I was 24 and I've never tried to get anyone else drunk either. I never found it a pleasant experience. I've never taken drugs, though I've associated and worked alongside individuals who are in recovery. I have never ever been approached by anyone offering me drugs of any kind. I lost my virginity at 17 to my first love (as did she) and I've never regretted that. Ever. I've had sex with numerous partners since and seldom regretted those instances either and if I have, it's because of the relationship, rather than because of the sex. I have had eight changes of career since leaving school, some of which have been shorter lived than others. I've had to put up with some serious family, work and relationship crap over the years that I continue to work over with my therapist. I regularly fell off my motorbike in my late teens and early twenties and have managed to bump most of my cars at some time or another. Only one serious accident however, and statistically that's still unusual. All these are lessons in life. As I've said before, I spend several hours a week doing voluntary work and it's something I enjoy immensely. I get paid in enormous wellbeing. I've lived by myself for seven and a half years. I've had relationships since my divorce but I don't base my life around them and that's an important place for anyone to be, because if and when they fail, I have to be able to be by myself again.

It's time to stretch yourself and leave the nest. Human beings need to self actualise or they wither and die. I very much doubt that you have nothing to offer other than cleaning house, so why not start looking within yourself? You need bows to your string. Go and see a careers advisor, or a life coach, or a straightforward therapist. No boyfriend is really going to be able to help you with your issues, unless they're a qualified therapist, and if they were a qualified therapist, I'd assume that they'd be ethically adjusted enough not to get romantically involved in the first place.

So... go away, count to ten, give this dating lark and the forums a rest and give yourself the proper attention you need.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 652
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 3:22:39 PM
I want everyone in this forum to just stop. I know your trying to help and I know I need to get a job or go to school and drive and be my own person. I know this already. So stop telling me what I already know. I have been trying to get myself and life together for years and it hasn't happened yet, I try and try and it hasn't happened. I am trying and thats what matters. Just let me live my out my life the way I want it to go. If I want to date, let me date whoever I want. If I don't find work right off the bat so what. I will find work someday. If I don't drive so what. Just leave me to be ok. Thats how I am going to leave this topic.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 653
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 3:46:29 PM
^^^^^No worries, Nataly. We're here if you need us. :)

Oh! And I have a song for you just cause I like to share songs.
I'm sorry.....I know you are rock n roll but I'm a little bit country! :D


Every storm (runs out of rain)

https://youtu.be/1q3LEadIk3w
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 654
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 6:15:03 PM
But this thread not going to leave you
Soon as you talked about killing yourself you opened the flood gates, now a whole lot of explaining to do to fam and authorities
Honest, you need to stop posting and reading the forums for a spell
Nothing good going to come of this
People would have been remiss to ignore you cry wolf/cry for help
Now you face what happenes
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 655
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 7:32:38 PM
So Nataly is that how you throw your tantrums when you don't like what your parents tell you???
You tell them you are going to kill your self till they give up and do your biddings.
YOU are the one who is coming on here dumping your ideas and your dating adventure. Did anyone invite you to do it.. Heck no but its fun to watch a train wreck while it happens.. You make is sound as if the world is against you. As it was pointed out already its all YOU. All those weird ideas are yours no one planted them in your head.

Not one single person asks you to come here and post all your ideas. You did its all YOU YOU YOU . Your mind is in LA LA land and you cant figure out why no one wants to follow you there.
Don't like the answers!!!!! don't ask the questions.

Why do you come on here and post?? can you give an honest answer to that question????
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 656
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 8:01:21 PM
I will not respond to anymore of any one of your rudeness period.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 657
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 8:55:27 PM
Yawning and farting...
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 658
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 9:11:17 PM
I got no idea what you are saying... but I guess you do respond to my post.
which proves me being right.
We are not your mama or papa throwing tantrum and threatening everyone to make them feel bad wont work.
No you are not going to get a job no you are not going to get the BF you wish for. Yes you will still be same place you are now 20 years from now. A five year old who want everyone to share there toys but has no idea how to play with others.

Do you want others to say that you are right and the world is against you and what a poor girl you are trying to do the best you can with what you have????

It would have been funny to get the other side point of view on how you come across. Can we get your short term ex BF to show up and tell us his version.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 659
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/22/2016 10:32:06 PM
People leave the topic alone, but you keep updating with"I am gonna kill myself"or he said or did this....That made me feel sad for you. Even if you did not intend to go through with it, it's a terrible place to be, and then be stuck there because there aren't currently more options.

You are right. These are your decisions to make. You don't need any of our worthless opinions. You just inexplicably needed momentary attention. ?

You heard it here, folks, no more questions from her. She will do as she does and wants no more input from us all. Ok.

It's quite a mystery, why all the threads, all the contradictions of "what should I do/ I know what to do, just shut up".

Excuse us, if we don't get it. I doubt we'll get an explanation. If this is your real personality, you better work on it, or nobody will want to be friends or anything with you.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 660
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 6:34:15 AM

I want everyone in this forum to just stop. I know your trying to help and I know I need to get a job or go to school and drive and be my own person. I know this already. So stop telling me what I already know. I have been trying to get myself and life together for years and it hasn't happened yet, I try and try and it hasn't happened. I am trying and thats what matters. Just let me live my out my life the way I want it to go. If I want to date, let me date whoever I want. If I don't find work right off the bat so what. I will find work someday. If I don't drive so what. Just leave me to be ok. Thats how I am going to leave this topic.


This is your best post thus far.
Stop posting.
Step away from the computer and start working towards your goals.
This thread is not going away.
Every time you add a post, especially ones of a suicide nature, you add fuel to the fire.
Bye and good luck.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 661
Nat gonna happen
Posted: 9/23/2016 7:30:06 AM
Inevitably, that is the problem with trying hard to get attention--it typically ends up not getting you the attention you crave, but the wrong attention instead. Its far better to give your own self the attention and respect you crave. Focus on giving yourself what you wish others would give to you. As a bonus, you become less reliant upon them.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 662
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History
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 11:39:41 AM

I'm 54. I haven't been drunk since I was 24 and I've never tried to get anyone else drunk either.

Holy cow -- talk about keeping a buzz! 30 years straight? That's a record! I think my longest was Fri night -> Sun morning, as I had little sleep of partying so the buzz carried over. You sir, have my record totally beat!

I lost my virginity at 17 to my first love (as did she) and I've never regretted that. Ever.

To be fair, if you lose your virginity to a virgin, you're still a virgin. You took her virginity, and she took yours. Just an exchange, right? :)

I know your trying to help and I know I need to get a job or go to school and drive and be my own person. I know this already.

Well, great then! But you were not saying that at all before, hence the flack. To be fair, this was your position before on the matter:
- You don't need to get a job, saying it's fine to find a guy who works while you clean the house and upkeep as that's enough
- That it isn't a good idea to drive, as people will want to sue for everything and that the parents say it isn't good
- That school's not a good idea because you're more or less not-good-at-it

I think if you just said what you Just Said originally, there'd be less question-marks & flack in the first place. But hey, that's out of the way now... and Great! Go get 'em tiger! :)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 663
There is no beer fairie bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 12:01:59 PM
"Focus on giving yourself what you wish others would give to you."



I don't know GTO , I've been giving myself beer for years and am still waiting for someone to come give me some

Sigh
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 664
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 12:22:40 PM
Can we just end this topic already. No matter what I say no one will believe me.
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 665
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History
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 12:46:07 PM
^^^
Nataly, unfortunately you can't tell people to stop posting on this OPEN thread.

But here is an easy way for "it" to go away:

Stop reading the thread. Stop posting. There, wasn't that easy?
 maybeebaybee1
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 666
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 1:09:43 PM
"You need to join a Christian dating site. I think that's your only hope of finding someone who is against having sex before marriage."

Whoa ... not true at all. I joined Christian Mingle years ago. I met a guy who wanted a three-some. Just because someone tells you they're a Christian doesn't mean it's true.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 667
The Mormon Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 1:15:44 PM
^^^^^
"I joined Christian Mingle years ago. I met a guy who wanted a three-some"









Are you sure it wasn't MORMON mingle ?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 668
The Mormon Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 1:25:12 PM
^^^Where in the bible does it say three-somes are a bad thing?
 Escape2bfree
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 669
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History
The Mormon Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 1:38:38 PM
Wow nataly, I see you are feeling overwelmed by forums. Let's get a bit of perspective, firstly not many ppl start New threads any more because they don't want to be subjected to what you are going through - myself included. The thing is, it's easy to tell others what to do or not to do, putting yourself out there is the hard thing. So unless those ppl responding are as willing to post there difficulties (yes they have them) then they are not really playing fair - myself included.

So, apparently you have to get a job, do some voluntary work, learn to drive, get a car, leave home, find interesting things to talk about, get a boyfriend, make friends. Yeah, id pretty much give up before I started too. Ok, to help (I hope) just focus on:-

Which one is the most important?
What's you first step towards achieving it?

Now forget the rest, that will all fall into place. Just take one step at a time and focus on that one step only. The big picture is likely too overwelming and I doubt anyone would achieve much trying to attempt all of that in one go. You decide where to start.

As for the suicide post - if that was your genuine feeling then get support and urgently. I don't know your area but you have mentioned your difficulties so I'm guessing you already have a contact. Contact them, now!!

I would agree that you may need a break from forums, they can be difficult to manage for most ppl. I don't think ppl are saying that because they want you to leave I think most are saying because they are concerned for you - myself included.

 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 670
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History
Birthday Blues
Posted: 9/23/2016 1:48:30 PM
I don't know about others but I take threats of suicide very seriously. A relative of mine shot himself in the face last year, dead. I'm sorry but after reading all of your posts I think it would be irresponsible to not contact your local police department. I hope you get the help you need Nataly. I will submit with your photo and hopefully someone will get you to a psych ward. God bless you and keep you.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 671
Birthday boob
Posted: 9/23/2016 4:11:20 PM

The thing is, it's easy to tell others what to do or not to do, putting yourself out there is the hard thing. So unless those ppl responding are as willing to post there difficulties (yes they have them) then they are not really playing fair - myself included.

Not true at all.
First, sidetracking or side-topics are quite common. Anytime ANYone posts in the forums, whether they're the OP or not, they are putting themselves 'out there' to be commented on (see what I did there?).
Second, this specific OP is particularly attention-seeking. She started many threads on which she uses the same modus operandi. IOW her method of putting herself out there DRAW the responses she is receiving. Almost as if she intends this type of response. THAT is what so many people are responding to.


Just take one step at a time and focus on that one step only. The big picture is likely too overwelming and I doubt anyone would achieve much trying to attempt all of that in one go. You decide where to start.

So if your advice is to pick one thing, take one step, then it shouldn't necessarily be to get a job or boyfriend or move out or act like an adult; it would be to be honest with herself (and therefore the participants on her threads) what her intent is for posting what she does in the manner that she does.

I'm with Pennyante - there have been several suicides among my family and close friends so I take suicide claims seriously. Every time I hear of a suicide threat it is stressful; thinking about everyone I've lost or been effected by the ripples from the suicide's action. Since we happen to know OP's real name I have debated contacting authorities on her behalf to have her committed. But in this case I think it really is just a hissy fit (I hope I'm wrong) so have not. If it is just a hissy fit; it's really disgusting.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 672
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History
Birthday Blues
Posted: 9/23/2016 4:24:29 PM
I didn't debate it. I did it.
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 673
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History
Be kind to those suffering
Posted: 9/23/2016 5:05:32 PM
And yes, I too did not debate my obligation. I voiced my concern to the local authorities.

If the threat was real then I hope those concerned made a difference.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 674
Be kind to those suffering
Posted: 9/23/2016 5:31:26 PM
^^^ Good! I take self determination end of Life seriously, when it is to get attention I go the problems lay far deeper than we can deal with on line.
Besides, perhaps this is the wake up call N needs... I imagine cops knocking at parents door will finally get her the help she seems to need
Plus if it was just a sulk, then she should learn there are consequences
Remotely none of us can help people who are having a melt down, hence we contact the locals that can
Hope lesson learned. Doubtful
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 675
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History
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/23/2016 6:10:19 PM
In various threads, I've seen the cycle at least three times:
-Desperation ( please tell me what to do )
-Defiance ( you're not the boss of me )
-Disappointment ( why do people ignore me )
-Disillusion ( why can't people be nice to me )
-Determination ( I will have my way or else )
-Dénouement ( I give up on my dream )

I'm sure it will play out again in a new thread. Until then, there is Walking Dead Season 6 on NETFLIX.
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