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 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 776
The Birthday BluezPage 32 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
Nataly you got the best advice right here listen to what  halforhalfnot said and get off POF. You will be eating up alive on here. You basically said again that you will never change and you keep saying that over and over.
"I am NOT like that, nor will I ever be. Can't you just let me be me without changing me?"
you don't want to change you just want what you want and you expect others to change for you.
Its also how you look at other people thinking that they are not good enough for you. You think you are better then others.
"And no guys like me for being me, so that's why I am always single. No guys like a girl who is a good girl. That's why they rather go for the girls that drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around etc."

You automatically think if someone having sex they must be bad yet you are wholesome.

You stop complaining and except your life with your believes understanding that you will get what you got. Or you change something in your life if you want to change your life style.

throwing tantrums on here might make some people feel sorry for you but not everyone will. This is just how life goes.
As you noticed I'm on the latter part of it.
I will give you two saying that are very close to my heart and I follow them often.

"If you do what you did you will get what you got"

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

some very intelligent people said that. Think about it, think what you can do to improve your life. The ball is in your court.
You keep coming back complaining and telling how much better you are then others. I will keep pointing out the flows in your reasons.
Take a week off here. Make some notes for your self see where you want to be and what you want. Then make some notes of what you need to do to get there. where you might want to make changes in YOUR life. I done it a long time ago and I still do it every once in a while. That's how I can try and keep my focus.
Do not keep coming back on here with the same song and a dance.
If you keep doing what you did you WILL get what you got on this thread.
can I say it more plain then this???
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 777
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History
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/2/2016 1:22:10 PM

I want a Boyfriend and someone to date, because it will make me happy. No guys ever like me because they say I am ugly, look like a man, transgender, and I have crappy friends, who just use and abuse me.


So you want someone to make you feel happy, to validate you? Most people would agree that being happy in yourself first is more important, so that you can function as an individual. How about socialising with people you're not seeing as potential dating partners or at least with people who will see you more as an equal, so you can build up your social skills a bit? Guess what; volunteering or ahem... getting a job helps there. Apologies for mentioning the V and J words again but it's really common sense.


And no guys like me for being me, so thats why I am always single. No guys like a girl who is a good girl. Thats why they rather go for the girls that drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around etc.


I can see where you're coming from; you're trying to hold onto your own principles in a world where you think that others have none. However, that view is worth disputing. You cannot possibly say that NO guys like a girl who's "a good girl", because it can't possibly be 100% true. Maybe (some of) the ones you've met but that may be the social crowd you're mixing with in the mosh pits of your life.

It may well take time to gel with someone who sincerely holds similar principles to your own. Months. Years even. Even then, it might not last until you're old enough to be in a bath chair. However, if you expect to meet someone who "has their life together", you'll find that you will climb that ladder further and faster if you really make an effort to get your own life together too.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 778
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/2/2016 2:00:26 PM

No guys like a girl who is a good girl. That's why they rather go for the girls that drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around etc."

(I thought I could stay out of this but the temptation to speak up is too great.)

Actually guys/men, like best/want to be with a girl/a woman the most, when she has grown up. when she has matured.
If indeed one believes, "No guys like a........... good girl". That is false.


The reason this is false is, there are many good men with, or looking for, good women. As well as the other way around.
And what exactly is a "good girl/good woman?"

There are MANY attributes that one may have, that others could/would view them/judge them as "good".

A GOOD woman, is the pride and joy of her family, and friends, admired by her co-workers, respected by members of her community. Just for starters.

To drink or not drink, to smoke or not smoke, ...................have sex, does NOT in of its self, MAKE a girl/woman to be bad!
Nor does abstaining from any of these things make a girl/woman GOOD!

BTW, A good girl does not seek attention by throwing temper tantrums, nor does she threaten to end her life and then act as if it never happened.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 779
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/2/2016 6:27:18 PM
I lost track of whether she has a new guy already or is looking or what, but I have to agree with what others said. The guy at the beginning of this post said you two had little in common, he was willing to break it off, and you kept it going. So, ok, you've now learned a lesson--when a guy breaks it off, its less painful to let it go then. You are right, you won't change until you're willing to change, and so long as things work for you now, there's no reason to change. But one day, they will not work for you any longer, and then you'll have to change. its easier to start now, so when that time comes, you'll have already changed and life will be easier than beginning then to change, when you have no safety net.

Wanting a bf to make you happy, is unfortunately an easy way to get victimized. Real guys aren't looking to make someone happy, they're looking for someone who already IS happy. If someone isn't thrilled with themselves, what will the guy be thrilled about? Guys may like the bad girl b/c she's an easy lay, but the good girl is one who has a lot to offer. a damsel in distress gets old after a while, except to the guy who has something to prove...and he gets on her nerves after a while, too. Healthy relationships come from healthy people. Those who are looking for a partner to give them something they can give themselves...yes, tend to have friends who treat them the same way.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 780
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 12:11:01 PM

The guy at the beginning of this post said you two had little in common, he was willing to break it off, and you kept it going.

She didn't want to be gf/bf, and understandably as she pointed out later -- but considering that + he doesn't live closeby and schedules aren't so keen, him not attending her BDay got her extremely upset. Things is, she focuses too much on Herself & her emotions. You can't have your (birthday) cake & eat it too. It's classic one-sided/emotion-driven compass of right & wrong... or better put, "Marsha Marsha Marsha!". :)

I don't need a therapist and seeing one will not change me as a person. If I want to change I will.

It's not exactly that simple. You don't control everything over time in how you're shaped. You're also shaped by those around you. Living at home and all, along with your own POV on things hasn't helped for a long time. Using your emotions or your gut/intuition as the compass of things is not a good idea. Whether it be a therapist, some wiser friends, etc -- that's what you need to do, to Constructively/Accurately map out how to go about things... which isn't supposed to Feel Great much of the time, when you've established yourself in an entirely different, unideal zone that you have over the years. Good thing is though, you Have done some Constructive things, so there is stuff to work off of.

I think your POV & mentality on what life has to offer is your biggest obstacle, and I think that's why the whole therapist suggestion comes out. Obviously the parents and yourself alone hasn't been doing so well over the years, and you need a change. It's good you're wanting to go down working-world alley. But your inner POV that you can't do college and that you don't Want to work and you ideally want to find a guy who will work while you keep the house tidy w/ no kids -- that POV needs to be understood as not a good one, and that in the End, you'll feel better spreading your wings. If you want to change in that direction, you could, sure. Point is, you're Not Really going to want to change in that direction and not See it as Truly a better direction, which will also make you Feel it being in a better direction as well.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 781
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:12:48 PM
How about no? Why are YOU trying to change me so much. If I don't want to have kids, I don't want kids. If I want to work I will work. Who cares if I am 29 and don't have a job. I will get a job, I will drive to that job. And I will live out my life my way. Just because I apply to a job today, doesn't mean I will have the job by tomorrow. No no, thats not how working and getting jobs go. They go for people with tons of experience over someone with no experience first. Then go for the nobody's with no experience.

Why do I have to accept your view point. I was brought up right and I am going to believe in with I believe in and do what I want. My life will turn out and work out right so back off.
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 782
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:29:12 PM

Who cares if I am 29 and don't have a job. I will get a job, I will drive to that job. And I will live out my life my way. Just because I apply to a job today, doesn't mean I will have the job by tomorrow. No no, thats not how working and getting jobs go. They go for people with tons of experience over someone with no experience first. Then go for the nobody's with no experience.


That is absolutely true, Nataly, most employers will choose the applicant with experience over the applicants without experience. That is why maybe starting with a house cleaning job could work for you? You know how to do it, and I would think your parents could recommend you to their friends? Or put ads up? Glendale is a big city so there must be a big demand. The cleaners in my small rural area keep busy and get between $20. to $30.00 per hour (usually cash). And they have a "waiting list". One person I know makes $500.00 a week! She works her tail off but she feels good about contributing to her family.

Just a thought.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 783
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:39:23 PM
Nataly.... I don't believe for a second that anybody here is trying to change you.... nobody can.... but perhaps if you viewed their words as 'seeds of wisdom'... One smart guy even said - stop reading, you're only creating your own pain....

Personally, I don't believe you will... you relish reading... and trying to have the last word.... you never will on 'this' forum site.

Ironically, your posting here has given me the chance to develop a distant crush on one of the very intelligent High Value male posters here.... and if I didn't have 12yo baggage, I would actually consider cashing in on my 'british by descent' ticket and move to the UK....


Why do I have to accept your view point. I was brought up right and I am going to believe in with I believe in and do what I want. My life will turn out and work out right so back off.

When you've had a couple of months of birthdays, please, do come back and let us know how that life panned out, won't you??
(oh, man, I"m gonna go to forum hell for that suggestion... lol)
 Escape2bfree
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 784
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:44:54 PM
Nataly, your post 785 is well written and sums up what should of happened. Yes he should of made more effort for your birthday and yes you was hurt, things from there didn't work out so you moved on. However, that isn't how it went. During that time when it wasn't going well you became clingy, a little desperate and made a million excuses for him. That's ok, most of us have done the same at one time or another, especially when first dating, moreso for on line.

Unfortunately, when you act like this it tends to send out the wrong message and pushes people away. Try to hold your emotions together a bit more. It's ok to feel them, we all do. But to act on those emotions often comes with negative consequences.

The same thing applies when responding to anyone.

I'm not sure how therapy works where you are but here it isn't about changing people. It's about feeling better about yourself and your values. It's about developing skills to manage difficult situations.

I'm glad you have applied for work that's a really good first step. If you don't get any response review what you are doing and ask for advice from somewhere like an employment agency. I agree that while you are doing that, building up work skills would be great and cleaning is a good start.

 Llookingformynextmistake
Joined: 5/29/2016
Msg: 785
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:51:16 PM
Final post for me on this thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgxdLgpQpEM
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 786
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Rickrollz
Posted: 10/3/2016 2:19:06 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 787
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Rickrollz
Posted: 10/3/2016 2:27:56 PM
Here's a better one, about how it's not your fault, and how you can change for the better:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/daily-affirmation/n10148
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 788
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 3:18:28 PM

How about no? Why are YOU trying to change me so much.


It's not about change so much as encouraging you to build some awareness of your current situation. Escape2bfree is right about most therapy types not being about change (some are); most are not even designed to make you feel better about yourself (that's your job). Most therapy types are about awareness and helping you to have some degree of acceptance of where you are right now. Actually, you might feel quite crappy about it at first, rather than happy. That's where the paradoxical nature of change comes in and where YOU start to change because you want THINGS within your field to change.


If I don't want to have kids, I don't want kids.


Fair enough. Plenty would agree on their own terms about that one.


If I want to work I will work. Who cares if I am 29 and don't have a job. I will get a job, I will drive to that job. And I will live out my life my way. Just because I apply to a job today, doesn't mean I will have the job by tomorrow. No no, thats not how working and getting jobs go. They go for people with tons of experience over someone with no experience first. Then go for the nobody's with no experience.


So you will get a job. And drive to it? And in the same paragraph, you throw in an introject (an internal bit of dialogue from your superego which makes you do something or stops you doing something) which stops you from being motivated enough to actually do it. How did those people get their experience? What's really stopping you from doing what they did to get themselves started? Maybe they did some (whispers) voluntary work... As for driving, you've stated before that your parents have told you that you'll wreck the car and end up being sued. Have you wrecked many cars before? If not, where is that coming from?


Why do I have to accept your view point. I was brought up right and I am going to believe in with I believe in and do what I want. My life will turn out and work out right so back off.


How's that working for you right now? Doing what you want? It doesn't seem to bring you much satisfaction, going by the number of grumbles you have.

Last year, I had conversations with addicts who were on the unaware part of their cycles and they were very similar: "I'm never going to fit in so I might as well carry on the way I am". Someone else has said here that people who do the same thing over and over, when it isn't working out, are condemned to carry on making the same mistakes. No-one is really expecting you to compromise your inner principles; what they would like to see is you broadening your horizons and seeing that hey, things weren't that bad after all.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 789
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 4:45:52 PM
YES I understand what you are saying and for the MILLIONTH ****ING TIME. I am WORKING ON MYSELF. What do you want me to say? I am going to get a job, and my parents will let me drive and my life will get better, and I will find a guy to date and we will be happy and everything will turn out great ok. So please stop telling me to go out and work and do this and do that. I know what I have to do. I get it. So let me be me and let me work on myself. I will find a guy that will accept me for me, as I do them.
 fallblossom
Joined: 9/17/2016
Msg: 790
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 4:46:05 PM
"Why has t this girl been removed? Many good people are gone for far, far less. Some on here are playing with her like a cat bats around a mouse waiting for her to jus roll,over and implode. Who is feeding who here? Or whom...whatever. She won't go away , she can't because she doesn't know any better and she is addicted. So remove her. Remove her for her own good. Her personal information has been tossed out for all to see; her real name, her FB page, her website. The police have been called regarding her suicide threat. Remove her. Save her."

True and ignored.
Adults....uh huh
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 791
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 5:39:21 PM
Just as I thought and you proved me right about you Nataly. You are back on here cant stay away cause you need attention. You are doing the same thing over and over. You sing and you dance , complain non stop about everything and everyone. I bet when you look in the mirror you don't even like your self. Tell me its not true tell me you love your self when you look in the mirror. when you complain and everyone give you advice. But wait you came here asking for an advice. then you tell everyone to stop bothering you .. So why the hell did you come on here??? ATTENTION!!!!!
just like a 5 year old girl.

You were given the best advice by other and me for your state of mind... Get off the forums no one feels sorry for you.
You don't even know what you are looking for on the forums. Maybe you are not looking for anything on the forum.
you just want to hear yourself say how good girl you are in an evil world. Compare your self to everyone else on here so everyone would look to such a good smart girl that you are.
"insert here a laugh and finger pointing at you"

I still stand by what I said about you and what your future holds for you.. in 10 years you will hate your self even more then you do now. 20 years from you will be at the bottom getting any attention you can from anyone who will give it to you. You will be surprised at what you will do to get that attention. I know a 55 year old woman who when ever I had to deal with her I think of you. She don't have a job and have to put up with a lot of things to have a roof over her head.
I so do wish to know what will life bring to you in 10 -20 years from now. Yes I will point a finger and laugh. I wont feel bad cause it will be all of your doing. YOU will be the one to bring YOU to that point.
You don't know what you want. You just want what you want and you want your mommy and daddy to get it for you as they always did when you were 5 year old.

Guess what if you want a BF you better offer something in return. Besides cleaning house. Be it a good conversation or if you cant carry an interesting conversation then you might need to do the dirty deed... YUCKS.
If I wanted to have my house cleaned I would pay for it not date for it.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 792
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 5:46:29 PM
Why is needing attention such a mortal sin?
 GlassArmonica
Joined: 7/28/2013
Msg: 793
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 6:01:11 PM

Why is needing attention such a mortal sin?

Says the obsessive compulsive attention seeker.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 794
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 6:10:00 PM
^ Hey! What are YOU doing later? ❤️
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 795
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 6:10:04 PM
It isn't a sin, Ms. Baby......just makes us human.


Nataly.....you don't need permission nor approval to live life on your terms from anyone.....except you.

Give yourself both of those and you will be fine.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 796
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History
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 7:05:14 PM
LAgoodguy said on 10/1/2016 6:01:44 PM
Oh Nataly you wonder why people and me treat you like we do.


LAgoodguy said on 9/29/2016 2:07:28 PM Msg: 718
I actually like to read her thread, Pointed a few people to it cause its sooo funny. I wish she would stick on here for another 20 years just to prove me right about how her life will turn up...

Nataly why do you keep posting on here??? what are you looking to gain from it?? Most people on here don't think much of you, I never did hide that I'm one of them. ...



LAgoodguy said on 9/30/2016 708 PM Msg: 752
I had better conversation with a German shepherd she is a sweetheart named Bella. She also has all your traits and a few more that you don't possess.



LAgoodguy said on 10/1/2016 6:01:44 PM
But over all yes you are a loser who should be off here and doing something better.
As for me you should thank me. I give you the attention you ask for the attention you deserve.


LAgoodguy said on 10/3/2016 8:39:21 PM Msg: 809
I bet when you look in the mirror you don't even like your self. Tell me its not true tell me you love your self when you look in the mirror.
Compare your self to everyone else on here so everyone would look to such a good smart girl that you are.
"insert here a laugh and finger pointing at you"
I still stand by what I said about you and what your future holds for you.. in 10 years you will hate your self even more then you do now. 20 years from you will be at the bottom getting any attention you can from anyone who will give it to you.

I so do wish to know what will life bring to you in 10 -20 years from now. Yes I will point a finger and laugh.


Ok it's a wrap. It's so obvious. No one expends this much energy on someone they hate...You're crushing on Nataly!

Like a 5 yr old in kindergarten who wants to express his love but instead hits her with a stick. I bet you have her pics hung up all over your room like a hollywood movie stalker. So tell us do you tug it while you post this stuff? We're all dying to know :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 797
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 7:27:31 PM
16,123 views (and counting) and 33 pages of responses in THIRTY DAYS !



She likes the attention


Mission accomplished.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 798
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 9:08:48 PM
I gotta get way better at this.










In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 stårdust
Joined: 7/18/2016
Msg: 799
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 9:22:07 PM

I know what I have to do. I get it. So let me be me and let me work on myself.

Go see an orthodontist. Fix your teeth and both your smile and speech will improve.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 800
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/3/2016 9:29:33 PM
Actually geekgrrrl its you all about you that I'm crushing on... just looking at your pic on the sofa does me in, cant stop tugging on it. Wish you could tug it for me... I post on here for no other reason but wait for you to add to the thread.
Please don't you stop it. If you could just add a few more sexy pics for me.
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