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 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 801
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I am going to get a job, and my parents will let me drive and my life will get better, and I will find a guy to date and we will be happy and everything will turn out great ok.


No doubt. That's a lot to achieve. Just wondering when you're actually going to make a start on it. What jobs have you applied for and what responses have you had? Why does a 29 year old need their parents' permission to drive?
 tizzabelle
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 802
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:04:50 AM

Why does a 29 year old need their parents' permission to drive?


ohmygawd orange tiger pay attention there will be a quiz later!
Because that 29 year old that lives with her parents and has no money/vehicle of her own.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 803
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:15:02 AM

ohmygawd orange tiger pay attention there will be a quiz later!
Because that 29 year old that lives with her parents and has no money/vehicle of her own.



I'm aware of that, as I have been paying attention. If you'd been paying attention, maybe you'd have spotted the subtlety of my question. I wasn't asking about the practicalities; I was asking why she needed permission.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 804
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 5:21:30 AM
Her teeth, smile and voice are fine. A gap between the front teeth is widely regarded as sexy.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 805
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 8:47:28 AM

I am WORKING ON MYSELF. What do you want me to say?

To re-neg on what you said before, as the ideal. What I want you to say is how you think/feel, and not in-the-moment, even if it's something that is not good. Honesty's the best. It's not to put your pride at #1.

Basically it'd be something like this, ideally though: "You know what? I've got to thinking. Yeah, ideally at this point, I would be more comfortable finding a guy to settle down with and to not work while he works, even when having no kids but just working on my hobbies, keeping things tidy, etc. Even though I wouldn't be just lounging around and wasting time all day, I realize that that isn't constructive for myself or my relationship in the long run... as if by the time that Would happen, if one of my hobbies didn't catch on to something big, it wouldn't. I'm not going to drop what I'm doing, but I'm going learn to spread my wings to get things going for myself and to be Independent. Guys may like me, they may not -- which is why becoming independent over time is important, I now realize... and just as I can Feel sometimes that no guys like me, I can also Feel I just want things to be instantly comfortable and to be how I have been -- but I know neither are true or good. I don't feel comfortable doing this, but I know this is the right direction, and I'm Working On Accepting it and going at a pace that works best for me in that direction. So yes, it's silly for me to expect or hunt for a guy who's going to work and to expect not to work or think that I could never go to school. I'm going to put my future first. It sucks and feels unnatural, and you may not like exactly how I'm going about it, but that's where I'm going with things."

Not that I would expect it, but that would be admirable. :)
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 806
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 11:30:32 AM
So if you had kids of your own, that were my age 29 or in their 20s and they asked you "can I drive to the store or can I drive to go out with friends" you would automatically let them do so? Even if they were your only child? You would let them drive without worrying on if they may get into an accident or car wreck, or something bad would happen to them?
 Escape2bfree
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 807
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 11:37:01 AM
Mostly they want to from age 16. Yes I would encourage and support them to do so once they were legally old enough. No I wouldn't just let them I would support them to have driving lessons until they were safe and proved they were safe by passing there driving test. Yes I would worry about car crashes, I worry the minute they are not with me. But I want my children to be confident and happy and they can only be that by going out into the world by themselves. Also, id be more worried that if im not around or die my children wont be able to survive or continue to enjoy the remainder of their lives.

I'd rather support them to go into the world independently than imagine I can protect them from it. That is unrealistic. Not only that but yes the world can be a cruel harsh place sometimes but it also wonderful and exciting most of the time and I wouldn't want my kids missing out on that.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 808
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 11:45:30 AM
My kids started driving at 17. They went to college at 18. They went out into the world and did all kinds of things because they were grown-ups (sort of). That's the natural order of things. Of course I worried a little. But not all the time. If you worry all the time about the people you love, there's something wrong with you. Something could happen to anybody at any time. To your child, to your husband, to anybody. That's the way life is.

Being wrapped in cotton wool because your parents worry that something might happen to you is not normal.

My sons are your age.

The older one is one year older than you. He is married and has two kids and is a surgical resident. This means that people give him a scalpel and let him operate on unconscious people. Sometimes these people are seriously injured. Most of the time, they survive. Sometimes they die. But nobody has died yet because of his surgical skills. And when he drives a car, his wife and two babies are in it.

Nobody is unduly worried about any of this.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 809
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:02:18 PM
My eldest son is 19. He doesn't drive yet but then he's studying at uni so doesn't need to. If he wanted to, I'd encourage him during his driving lessons, rather than discourage him with tales of crashes and carnage. Why would I want to stifle him? His 18 year old girlfriend drives her own car.

I had a motorbike at 18 and a car by 20
. I wanted my independence so paid for lessons and bought my own vehicles. As did my brother and sister at the same age. As did my friends. None of us were denied permission to go out and drive ourselves you places. Our parents were only too pleased not to have to ferry us around. It was part of growing up.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 810
The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:09:46 PM
"So if you had kids of your own, that were my age 29 or in their 20s and they asked you "can I drive to the store or can I drive to go out with friends" you would automatically let them do so? Even if they were your only child? You would let them drive without worrying on if they may get into an accident or car wreck, or something bad would happen to them?"




I would definitely feel differently if I only had one child vs multiple.

If I have 2 , my attitude would be " hey , if one gets killed in an accident at least I still have one left over "


Therefore, if I had only one child I would NOT allow them to leave the house for fear the big bad world might harm them.

Let them learn to be on their own AFTER I'm dead when I no longer have to deal with it I say !
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 811
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The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:39:12 PM

I would definitely feel differently if I only had one child vs multiple.

If I have 2 , my attitude would be " hey , if one gets killed in an accident at least I still have one left over "


Same here. My level of caring would be in inverse proportion to the number of children I had.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 812
The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 3:44:13 PM
^^^^^^

Caring ?

I just need someone to take care of me when I'm old !
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 813
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The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 4:09:35 PM
Caring = caring whether I have enough remaining children to bring me cans of Ensure etc.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 814
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The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 4:17:05 PM
Oh please Mr Butters, please tell me you're being facetious, right????

Nataly, don't blame us for the topic change (yet again) YOU asked the question...

I'm a single mother - effectively an only lonely as I have no surviving immediate family; already lost a daughter at birth (she would be your age if she had survived), and now have an only lonely tweenage boy... we've cheated death twice. (labor & car crash) I tell him - two guarantees of life, taxes and death. One of us is going before the other... we don't know how or when we're going out... but at least try to give the 'survivor' a body to dispose of. Funeral costs are in the bank....

After that, the survivor will manage... somehow... or die trying.

Do I worry?? you bet your sweet behind I do.... but I'm not going to have my son sitting at home learning helplessness... as I've said before, he gets two chances to move away from home, then he's on his own... and learning - that sometimes 'bad things happen to good people' and "you have to work hard to get what you want from life".

eta: I didn't learn to drive until I was 20, paid for all my own lessons, took extra lessons when my instructor told me I was ready to take the test... had my major crash 18 years later, after driving in two other countries (opposite side of the world) and come back to Australia
only just recently had my first breathalyzer test.... passed....
I expect the same for my son.... (well, except for the crash that is.... but life happens)

 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 815
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 4:28:15 PM

So if you had kids of your own, that were my age 29 or in their 20s and they asked you "can I drive to the store or can I drive to go out with friends" you would automatically let them do so?


My daughter just turned 18 a couple months ago. She's been driving for a couple of years. And not just around town in residential areas, she went to school out of district, so she took I5 (those on the west coast of the USA will know that freeway) thru Seattle. She drove my new car, it was less than 6 months old. I trusted her. Was it difficult at first? yes. Did I fear she could get hurt? yes. She had already crashed her own car in to a tree, injuring me. Shes driven from Seattle to Canada, and Idaho and Oregon. As a parent I encouraged her to grow and learn and start a life. Now, she's left Seattle and is in college in Chicago. Yes, at 18 she moved to strange city, alone. We do not know any one there. Now, she's looking for a job so she can be more independent.

My son is 14. He's learning to use the transit system. He'll learn to drive at 16. He will drive my car and his dads and his sisters. And he'll likely have a fender bender. But I will not live in fear that something horrible will happen. Its not healthy.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 816
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 4:32:31 PM

Posted By:GotAHubcapDiamondStarHalo
O.K. Natalie -

I never had a problem believing that someone like you existed, because my sister is a self-centered, entitled, drama queen. She DOES have a job, however.

I guess I was hoping you could actually make a change in your life, but that is hard to believe when I see you posting the same things you posted on another board 3 1/2 YEARS ago. You dragged well-meaning people down your little rabbit hole, thinking they were "helping" you.
Do you remember your earlier threat from 03-26-2013, 11:18 PM?


With a little digging Halo has shown Nat for what she is, a Parasitic Troll, who will feed on the POF Forums Host, till it no longer gives her the nutriments she needs. Then she will drop off & search for a new Host.



Posted By: imanorangetiger
My eldest son is 19. He doesn't drive yet but then he's studying at uni so doesn't need to. If he wanted to, I'd encourage him during his driving lessons, rather than discourage him with tales of crashes and carnage. Why would I want to stifle him? His 18 year old girlfriend drives her own car.


Like most Californians, with the Car Culture here, my daughter had her license at 16. Her Grandmother had a Car, but didn't drive. My Daughter had the use of that Car in exchange for driving Grandma, when she needed to go somewhere. At 19 and a Uni Student, my Daughter drove the Uni's 14 passenger Van, transporting other Uni students on field trips and such.

Maybe Nat's parents know something about Nat, that we don't. They could have a good reason for not letting her drive, herself.

^^^^^ Plutolover just posted what a normal parent would do with driving in the USA.
Once again, what does Nat's parents know that we don't?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 817
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 4:43:14 PM
"Maybe Nat's parents know something about Nat, that we don't. They could have a good reason for not letting her drive, herself."

>>>there is a point to that. I used to work with a guy who laughed at a neighbor down the street, who would mow the lawn, run out of gas, put the entire mower in the trunk of his car and drive everything down to the gas station. We both thought it was pretty dumb, until years later the kid got older and became the neighborhood pyromaniac, lighting abandoned mattresses off in the woods. No wonder Papasan never invested in a gas can to leave around the house.

Not that Natster has to defend her driving record ('cause I don't care, she's not sharing a road with me), but just that there's always more to the story than what gets presented here by people who of course have a personal agenda. Nat says she's gonna work on her, and that's the real solution to her problems. She'll present a better version of herself to future potentials, and get fewer of the losers as a result.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 818
The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 5:07:18 PM
Well Nataly......

I have a neice that was involved in a car accident at eighteen.....one week before she was suppose to start college. Completely crushed vertebrae C3-C5 and almost completely severed her spinal cord around C4. Know what that means? It means....she is a quadriplegic with no sensation below her shoulders and limited gross motor movement in arms. Despite her physical limitations.....she did go to college and obtained a B.A. in communication. The crazy girl wants to go to graduate school but needs a job to pay for it. She has been wracking her brain trying to come up with possible ways to earn money.

So last week, I get a text from her telling me to stand outside my front door in fifteen minutes. As I never know what to expect from my beautiful disaster....I stand there in anticipation....equal parts of excitement and trepidition when an unfamiliar van pulls up and stops. And guess who is driving? You guessed it! The girl who doesn't know the word impossible!

She excitedly tells me.....that she is taking driving lessons in an extensively modified van that will be completely controlled by a joystick. I looked at her instructor in the passenger seat and said..."You don't place a high value on your life, do you?" He just laughed and said she will be really to drive solo by the time her parents have her modified van built in six months.

Before pulling away.....with a sassy grin she declares....."I'm gonna be the first quad Uber driver in the World! It's how I am gonna pay for school!" Wish I was kidding. :/


The take away? Bad things do sometimes happen. You can let that fear limit you but you can never eliminate all possibilities of harm. So as my neice says....when life hands you lemons.....squeeze the heck out of them and learn to love the sourness! :D
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 819
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 5:09:56 PM
I've taken a look at the weblink Halo and BBE refer to and yes, it seems that Nataly makes a habit of creating these threads. This comment from someone on one of her 2013 threads:

"Read her other posts, she posts the same thing over and over again, gets solid advice and reacts exactly the same way....every time."

Sounds familiar.

Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/non-romantic-relationships/1821691-mother-daughter-relationship-why-cant-we-2.html#ixzz4MAFrFLEM
 tizzabelle
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 820
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 5:13:52 PM
My oldest is 18 and, has not had much interest in learning to drive yet. I did lend my van to his best friend so he could run a few errands and still get himself to work on time on day though but, I wouldn't lend that same kid my van for pleasure cruising out to the next town over. :)
 GlassArmonica
Joined: 7/28/2013
Msg: 821
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 5:57:39 PM
This thread is a prime example of just how right on the money Donald Trump is. Huh, Natalie? ;)

And, it's because of threads like these that we can't have nice things. Can't we all just get along??
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 822
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 8:23:07 PM
Orangetiger, Glancing at the other thread and her rant on here. I'm sure there is more to her story then we know.
more then likely she has lots of issues and some would be mental.. In that case it explains who she is..
From the other thread it sure seems her mom is tired of her living at home. That's why they fight.
I will sorry for any guy that she will latch onto.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 823
The Big Bad World Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 8:27:26 PM
Kj521 you got one there a great person who might go father in life then you would imagine . Must feel great to point a finger at her and say she is my niece and I'm related to her. I have so much respect for your niece for what she accomplishes. I hope she will never slow down and never quit.
lots of respect for her.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 824
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/4/2016 9:56:42 PM

So if you had kids of your own, that were my age 29 or in their 20s

They wouldn't be kids. They'd be old enough to have their own kids, if they chose to do so. They would be adults.

and they asked you "can I drive to the store or can I drive to go out with friends" you would automatically let them do so?

I would be asking -- why don't they have a car of their own? You mean asking to Borrow my car -- if they have a license, yes.

Even if they were your only child? You would let them drive without worrying on if they may get into an accident or car wreck, or something bad would happen to them?

If my Son or Daughter (not a kid, being in their 20s) had a car -- I would let them drive to the store in their teens if they were an adequate driver, even borrowing my car, yes. I would probably preach caution. So assuming they're an adequate driver -- yes, even if it were my ONLY offspring, them being in their 20s, yes, I would Not be worried for them driving with friends if there was no alcohol involved. I would be Crazy to be worried about it if they were an adequate driver. I would crazy to treat an adequately driving son or daughter in their 20s like a kid who Just got their license on their 1st day who drives pretty questionably.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 825
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The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 10/5/2016 2:49:03 AM
LA: yes, either Nataly is a first class troll after all, or as I suspect as more likely, is suffering from some serious mental health problems, most of which would seem to be developmental. Threads on that other site are written and replied to in exactly the same tone over THREE YEARS AGO. Despite what Nataly thinks, she needs intervention involving a therapist NOW, not just for her sake but for the sake of her parents and for every male she sucks in. I'm beginning to see why her dates end up giving her a very wide berth.

On the driving front, she says on the other message board that she's taken and failed the theory test around 20 times. 20 times?? That shows that she is unable or more likely unwilling to prepare herself to do it. She's obviously not illiterate. Of course, she could be lying about that.

It's difficult to remain sympathetic towards someone like this.
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