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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Getting my stuff back from the ex      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 exclamation_point
Joined: 12/27/2015
Msg: 23
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Getting my stuff back from the exPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Just an update…

I did finally worked up the nerve to text him. Honestly, it is hard for me to talk to him. He told me that he actually texted me on Tuesday about it, but I never got this text… Who knows what happened. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. I do feel like he is holding it hostage sometimes to maintain some connections at a distance. I don't know…

And responding to the messages about his roommate and all that, it's complicated. He is in between moving, so I really don't know exactly where he is at, could be staying at family's house as well.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 24
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 9:32:38 AM
I don't see any reason why he can't just put it in the mail or UPS. He's probably just stalling because he wants an excuse to see you face to face again maybe? I think you do deserve the camera back; I would not just "write if off" to experience.

I had a fling with someone and it was cold in the morning, so I wore one of her sweatshirts home. I thought I would just keep it, it was just a sweatshirt, but she felt differently. A week later, she left a nutty, screaming VM demanding the shirt back. Never returned the call....I just dropped the sweatshirt in the mail, no note, no nothing, and called it a day.
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 25
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 12:07:32 PM
^^^ Just curious SS... was that before or during your current long term relationship? I ask this based on the new thread you just created upstairs in the Relationship threads.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 26
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 2:47:08 PM

Pick up the phone, make a call and say something like, "I'll be over Sunday at noon for my camera" and follow through.


And then show up at ten with one of your friends so you can catch him backing out of the driveway at eleven to avoid you.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 27
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 2:53:52 PM
^^^^^^

Exactly. He's probably sold the camera already.
 Imreal0000
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 28
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 4:15:38 PM
" Roommate" ??? man or woman? Just think smartly maybe he found somebody else..Is the camera expensive..ask him to download or upload to your email.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 29
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 8:24:32 PM
IRS Wrote:


Just curious SS... was that before or during your current long term relationship? I ask this based on the new thread you just created upstairs in the Relationship threads.


This was well before. During my LTR, I've been faithful for about 20 years, so no flings. You wouldn't know that I'm a 20-year faithful guy from the responses I'm getting over there though. I'd guarantee, if you you really knew, truthfully, the % of guys who had been faithful to any committed mate for any 20 year period in their lives...that it would be less than 50%. Wonder what they say 'bout those guys?? I'm guilty of thought crimes, I guess.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 30
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/10/2016 8:40:06 PM
OP
Just an update…

I did finally worked up the nerve to text him. Honestly, it is hard for me to talk to him. He told me that he actually texted me on Tuesday about it, but I never got this text… Who knows what happened. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. I do feel like he is holding it hostage sometimes to maintain some connections at a distance. I don't know…

And responding to the messages about his roommate and all that, it's complicated. He is in between moving, so I really don't know exactly where he is at, could be staying at family's house as well.

Is this an update, or more of the same? What did he say about giving you your camera back?
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 31
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 5:07:43 AM
Just curious SS4544Spd---you write:
I had a fling with someone and it was cold in the morning, so I wore one of her sweatshirts home. I thought I would just keep it, it was just a sweatshirt, but she felt differently. A week later, she left a nutty, screaming VM demanding the shirt back. Never returned the call....I just dropped the sweatshirt in the mail, no note, no nothing, and called it a day.


According to your profile, you are six feet tall and have an athletic build. Your fling must have been quite an Amazon in her own right, if you could fit into her sweat shirt. Most guys are broader in the neck and shoulders than the 'average' woman. I'm surprised you could get her sweatshirt over that big head of yours, much less your neck and shoulders.

I suspect you made up this story 'out of whole cloth'~ hahaha

Carry on. ;-)
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 32
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 5:56:36 AM
put his things in a box in the garage

you ain't getting that camera back
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 33
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 9:45:17 AM
Another option is to just forget the camera and cut contact, you'll get over him faster.

Cameras are replaceable. Your time and sanity is not.
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 34
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 12:03:16 PM

Cameras are replaceable. Your time and sanity is not.


Pretty much how I see it. I've had friends upset at me, for not aggressively getting back what "was mine" post breakup, before. To me, the drama, them avoiding me, and the back and forth, just isn't worth it.

If its that valuable to me, I keep it on me, at all times, period. I.E My wallet--my cellphone.

Anything else, is replaceable.

I find in most situations, exes nitpicking about belongings, are just trying to hold onto their exes. Its deeper than the belongings, at hand.

Same reason to me, why I've seen couples nitpick over 50-60$ during divorces. Something else to fight about. To some, its an ego thing. Telling themselves, they're "still fighting for them".
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 35
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 1:47:54 PM
Agree with the two above. Write off the camera and be done with it. Look at the time and aggravation that you have already spent on it. Enough.
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 36
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/11/2016 5:52:34 PM

Look at the time and aggravation that you have already spent on it. Enough.


I dated a girl who was still fighting with an ex she was "over". This was 5 months post breakup, for 70$ he owed her. Per her, it was out of "principle". I.E He promised to pay it back.

To me, if you're willing to put up such a fight over something that trivial, you're clearly not over them. Especially so, if you're expecting a promise to be kept by someone who cheated on you, or ditched you with no second thought.

I hope you do realize, that by chasing after him, you're looking like someone standing up for yourself. You're coming across as the "cray" ex girlfriend. Made all the more real, every single time you angrily text, or call--or worse even--pay him a visit.
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 37
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/12/2016 3:33:45 AM
If you say you're coming to pick up when-and-where and he says he can't make it, he needs to provide an alternative. Such as dropping it off with you.

He may also respond better to being contacted by you mother, asking for her property back.

Small claims court exists for a reason. Nobody should have to eat significant losses because someone has been a bully.
ED BEAR
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 38
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/12/2016 10:00:03 AM
I think OP knows once the belongings are exchanged, the relationship will be done for good. Maybe that is why she isnt trying too hard to get the camera back .
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 39
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/12/2016 12:35:06 PM
I would assume at this point you have 'gifted' this guy your mom's camera.

I cannot for the life of me understand why a 40 year old woman is more concerned about being somebody's texting buddy than returning a valuable piece of property to a family member. There has to be more to this story. Your priorities are really screwed up. You lent it to him for his 'job'? Is his job selling sh1t on EBAY?
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 40
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/12/2016 12:40:30 PM

I'd guarantee, if you you really knew, truthfully, the % of guys who had been faithful to any committed mate for any 20 year period in their lives...that it would be less than 50%. Wonder what they say 'bout those guys??


I say they are gross exploitative pigs with little moral decency and its a shameful remark about the narcissism in american culture that infidelity is so rampant. I'd also say its a pathetic person who excuses his own sins by demanding we be thankful he ain't as bad as other sinners. I'd finally say I'm thankful I was born to a real man who managed to be with only one woman for over 50 years, because he taught me well the desire of my crotch doesn't trump the needs of a family or personal honor.
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 41
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/13/2016 10:12:42 PM

I did finally worked up the nerve to text him. Honestly, it is hard for me to talk to him. He told me that he actually texted me on Tuesday about it, but I never got this text… Who knows what happened. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. I do feel like he is holding it hostage sometimes to maintain some connections at a distance. I don't know…

And responding to the messages about his roommate and all that, it's complicated. He is in between moving, so I really don't know exactly where he is at, could be staying at family's house as well.


Sounds like a flake. It literally takes 5 minutes to go to a UPS store, package it in a box they give you and ship it your address. I know his dad just died and all, and he is in mourning, but have your roommate do it...or do it yourself. Who has a roommate in their 40s anyway? Is this a 20 year old you were seeing? How much is this camera actually worth? Something doesn't add up in your story. Either he's changed as a person (which is doubtful) or he was hiding something and it was about to come out (his feelings, maybe he is married, who knows).


I don't want to just drop by because he lives with a roommate... Specifically not looking for drama, that's why I'm asking.

You aren't looking for drama but you found it. Go over there and get some! Put on your running shoes and go over there and get your camera. Just knock on the door and ask the roommate to show you the camera and then when it's in your hot little hands, turn and run. I bet if you go over there, his story will evaporate and the truth will come out.
 exclamation_point
Joined: 12/27/2015
Msg: 42
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Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/14/2016 6:54:42 AM
Just an update on this... He dropped off the camera this morning . It just took a few days to coordinate because we are both busy.I got a lot of cynical replies in this post, but he was never a bad guy. We hugged, said our goodbyes and exchange the stuff, and that's the end of it, I can close out this chapter now. I think there were a lot of people assuming the worst about both of us from this thread. Sometimes that's just the way life works out, and now I can move on.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 43
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/14/2016 7:34:34 AM
^^^^^^^^Well....What a stupid thread it was...who started it anyway??
Who starts a thread about such a silly incident in life....most people can figure out on their own...smh.
Like I said....drama queen or attention seekers.
Then to come back and reprimand the people who gave you....advice.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 44
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/14/2016 11:41:38 AM

Just an update on this... He dropped off the camera this morning . It just took a few days to coordinate because we are both busy.I got a lot of cynical replies in this post, but he was never a bad guy. We hugged, said our goodbyes and exchange the stuff, and that's the end of it, I can close out this chapter now. I think there were a lot of people assuming the worst about both of us from this thread. Sometimes that's just the way life works out, and now I can move on.


Oh my goodness!
What a great idea!
Calling and coordinating.
What's with the people expecting drama?
Oh wait.
I didn't assume anything. It took you a couple of days
and a couple of pages of people telling you to call to
call.

Up next.
Should I wear sandals or flip flops with my pj's when I
make a mid night run to CVS?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 45
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/14/2016 1:33:46 PM
^^^
High heels pretty lady.

I'll meet you in the wine aisle....

Buwahahahha......
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 46
Getting my stuff back from the ex
Posted: 9/17/2016 9:07:58 AM

I think there were a lot of people assuming the worst about both of us from this thread.


Quite the 360, from your initial post, of a man who dumped you with zero notice or explanation. Oh, and the fact, you were reaching out to him constantly, but with no concrete response. Or, letting those in the thread know, "He's stated he's very busy".

You've given people in the thread the impression with your initial post, that this was an immature person, that was deliberately side tracking your attempts to get your camera back. Read your post again, and tell me how I'm supposed to assume otherwise.

Also, if this process was this simple, why bother posting a thread?

Often times, couples going after small belongings, end up having bitter battles over them, due to the emotional states they're in. That's reality, but not a one size fits all type of situation.

Perhaps, next time you ask for advice, be clear on all the details, and avoid painting your partners into bad people. Kind of like a courtroom. Stick to the facts, and you'll get a factual answer.
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