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 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 51
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered ListPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I wrote:


At least I am honest about it, though


Walts wrote:

No you're not. If you were actually "honest" you and your LT girlfriend would be working on something, and/or going your separate ways.

Not only are you a liar, you are actually lying to yourself too.


What I meant is that at least I'm honest about my intentions...*here*. Can you at least give me that? According to what I've read here, there are plenty here, some in LTRs, only interested in hookups or FWBs but profile as "seeking relationship" just to facilitate getting dates. That may put me as less of a subterranean creature than those folks, maybe even in your righteous book.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 52
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:07:43 AM
Oh no, he won't be honest..he needs a hotter branch, $, etc. before he is done with the old branch. Screw her.

That's his idea of love, self focus, allow her to behold his magnificence, so much to offer, so athletic and hot stuff, suffering..but scared and incapable of grown up honesty, trust..

and shortsighted to think trust does not figure in intimacy.

He isolates himself when he knows he cheats, he shows contempt and passive aggression, till the final "seee ya , my ship has come in", if some fool woman starts up with a cheater.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 53
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:09:22 AM
loveisatemple brutally wrote:


This is not about your sex life. Damn, are you a teen?



Why should anybody form ties with you? You seem focused on the kicks and appear stuck in a juvenile mindset.


Not easy to read for me, yet you're probably making some good points here. At least you're not calling me a "shoddy creep." But, remember, I'm in a 20 year, faithful, LTR. How many have had that? How many of those are out there, sexless like mine, but carry on with outward smiles to the world, where everyone thinks "Oh, what a happy couple, they have it all figured out!" Probably more than you think. People probably think the same about us. How many have the same travails I am going through but don't write about it? Or just "grit their teeth" and carry on? Probably plenty of people. I haven't done anything yet. So even though I'm going through a rough patch here, I'm not an ogre, and having done the 20 year thing, I must have been doing some things right, even w/o the sex, or my mate probably would have jettisoned me a long time ago...
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 54
Giving my conscience back to my hormones
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:13:06 AM
"Otherwise your photo would be with no makeup, in curlers, probably in potato-sack sweats."

You're kidding, right? Do you know what would happen if I posted a pic of myself with no make up, tousled hair (no curlers), and wearing an oversized T-shirt (Florida is hot!)??? My freakin' inbox would blow up, that's what! Instead of the "Hey Sexy" message norm......I would become a "Goddess of both the night and morn"!

Pfft! Who's got time for all that? Besides....I have to save something for my future lover. ;)



"but I did get a kick out of reading your profile, which is terrific. Alas, I'm sure I'm under your "Mr. Creepy" section, though."

Thanks for the profile review and for posting portions of it here. That was....um....well....I'll just go with.....interesting. But....no, you would not fall under my "Mr. Creepy" category. Your situation is too pedestrian for that. :) And I do so apologize that my post did not surpass your expectations. I thought it was rather neutral, actually. Although, I admit it could have better but I simply lacked suffienct motivation to give you what you wanted. ;)



As far as my "strange habit"? What can I say? I like to smell things I put on my body. :D

And....ps.....probably, not a good idea to put your "baby chick" story in your profile. :/
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 55
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:14:03 AM

What I meant is that at least I'm honest about my intentions...*here*. Can you at least give me that?



Grownups define your actions as chickenshiat.

No, ifs, ands, or buts.

All your reasons are excuses.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 56
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:18:48 AM
Your the MAN...Walts!!
This asshat is just making excuses....$hit or get off the pot! Let her have a better life without ...you.
Be a grown up and face consequences and take responsibility.....
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 57
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:22:30 AM
SS4544Spd wrote:
And BTW, she picked me up, not vice versa. She was also a Psychiatrist, or some type of Psych- type professional (can't remember, through the sands of time.) She practiced some out of her home and I remember her showing me her official looking home office (yes, with the familiar Psychiatrist's couch) and I thought for a fleeting moment maybe she'd plop me down on her Psych couch for an examination! She wasn't too keen on that, though, so alas, onto the bedroom.


All I can guess is that it must have been a freaking special sweat shirt if, after you donned it to avoid freezing your butt off the morning after your fling--- a week later she left a 'nutty, screaming VM' demanding the shirt back.

Seems like your 'psychological professional' (yes, with the familiar Psychiatrist's couch!) needs to work on her communication skills! (Though popular wisdom does admit that (some)mental health professionals often need help as much as their clients<)

You dodged a bullet there, Mister~

hahahah
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 58
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:44:50 AM
Walts, insisting on raining on my sunny Sunday morning coffee, dourly writes:


Grownups define your actions as chickenshiat.

No, ifs, ands, or buts.

All your reasons are excuses.


Saith the executioner. I won't beg for mercy, though. Maybe more apropos is a William Wallace Braveheart scream of "FREEEEEDDOOMMMMMM!" :)
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 59
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:50:09 AM

I won't beg for mercy, though. Maybe more apropos is a William Wallace Braveheart scream of "FREEEEEDDOOMMMMMM!"


You're a prisoner of your own lies.

No freedom for you.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 60
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:58:31 AM
Some rather boring courses I took did have among the dull some interesting bits. Such as liars always have to embellish.
Which is why they usually get caught out :)
 Heffelump
Joined: 8/27/2016
Msg: 61
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:59:03 AM
See, I see the cry "Freedom! " and I think Aretha. Her song Think, with that chorus:
Freedom, freedom, freedom, oh oh oh oh freedom (buh, buh, buh, buh buh, buh)

Then that's followed with,

You better think - think - think about what you're tryin to do to me,

And,

You need me. I need you. Without each other there ain't nothin either can do.

But Retha said everything best.

Hey, let's all listen to The House That Jack Built.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 62
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 8:59:24 AM
William Wallace Braveheart screamed it out in the open for all the world to hear, he didn't write it anonymously on some internet forum.

There's nothing brave about telling some internet stranger that you want to sneak around on your partner of 20 years with her. And you can't seriously expect credit for "honesty" just because your not intending to lie to your potential pieces on the side.

Oh well, it sure as hell beats the Nataly saga for tawdriness if not originality.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 63
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 9:28:33 AM
+1 ouija2025

Some rather boring courses I took did have among the dull some interesting bits. Such as liars always have to embellish.
Which is why they usually get caught out :)


Yup, it's amusing to watch him make stuff up as he goes along<
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 64
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 9:29:40 AM
Talking with your LTGF might be a better option.

I have no clue what she wants and I'm not sure you do either.

What have you done to make this relactionship 'stale'?
How about couples counseling? Or, if she's too agoraphobic, check out a couples book at the library.
When was the last time you let her know that you appreciated her?
When was the last time she had a medical appointment for any health problem/s that may account for any of her 'not taking care of herself'?
She seems pretty good at taking care of you (women have a tendency to take care of themselves after everything else has been taken care of)... how often do you take care of her?
This has been getting 'stale' for 20 years; you're not going to cure it overnight (assuming you try).

You don't have to answer because I'm not interested in your answers - these are just a few questions you might want to consider before you dump her for a newer, younger, sexier or whatever model.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 65
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 9:38:34 AM
Instead of risking loosing your girlfriend, and other risks that go along with cheating, why not ask your girlfriend to workout with you and make healthy meals? And get rid of your profile.
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 66
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 10:20:56 AM
Regarding message #34:
"She could be considered your common law wife after living with you for all those years. I am wondering if financially you are hesitant to split the assets if you break up".

Most states do not recognize common law marriage, and the ones that do have many requirements to prove there is/was a common law marriage. I know this from "personal experience and the aid of a lawyer".

But I'm thinking splitting assets may not be the OP's major concern since he notes "he likes the perks" with his SO.

I guess this post is like beating a dead horse... I think the general consensus is clear. Sad all around for him and his girlfriend.
 Heffelump
Joined: 8/27/2016
Msg: 67
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 10:26:47 AM
I'm pretty sure the OP is in the UK. And their laws are probably like ours here in Canada. When there are kids involved, it doesn't matter if they had a wedding or not.

Edit: My mistake. I looked at his profile once and clearly read it wrong.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 68
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 10:29:44 AM
The OP is in Illinois, which, like most states in the US, does not recognize common law marriage (or at least that's what his profile states).
 IReallyShouldnt
Joined: 9/6/2016
Msg: 69
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 10:40:04 AM
^^^
That is correct.
 Shewymacfee
Joined: 4/2/2016
Msg: 70
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 11:31:19 AM
Your thinking with your Pr**k rather than whats between your ears,
at 20 your testosterone (look it up in Google) is running riot, once you find a brain (Again Google might help)
Once the brain has been engaged, you might find out that relationships are not just about Sha**ing (This one harder to find in Google add 2 Gs where the stars are)
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 71
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Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 12:16:42 PM

SS4544Spd wrote:

And BTW, she picked me up, not vice versa. She was also a Psychiatrist, or some type of Psych- type professional (can't remember, through the sands of time.) She practiced some out of her home and I remember her showing me her official looking home office (yes, with the familiar Psychiatrist's couch) and I thought for a fleeting moment maybe she'd plop me down on her Psych couch for an examination! She wasn't too keen on that, though, so alas, onto the bedroom.



All I can guess is that it must have been a freaking special sweat shirt if, after you donned it to avoid freezing your butt off the morning after your fling--- a week later she left a 'nutty, screaming VM' demanding the shirt back.

Seems like your 'psychological professional' (yes, with the familiar Psychiatrist's couch!) needs to work on her communication skills! (Though popular wisdom does admit that (some)mental health professionals often need help as much as their clients<)

You dodged a bullet there, Mister~

hahahah


It's more than possible that the OP has dressed up that story to fit his persona. Whilst psychotherapists are as human as the rest of us, the chances of one leaving a "nutty, screaming VM" are remote. Not without a damned good reason anyway. People watch too much Frazier...
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 72
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 12:26:52 PM
"Whilst psychotherapists are as human as the rest of us"

I'll agree with this.


But not so much with this.....

"the chances of one leaving a "nutty, screaming VM" are remote"

No screaming VM......but I have had my own "interesting" experiences with various types mental health professionals. :)
 sticchic
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 73
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 12:39:43 PM
WOW! At least this is not N with her pre-op transition saga.

It's another "it's not me, it's the world that's wrong" diatribe.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 74
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 4:14:18 PM
Well, if anyone wondered if we shared a hot button issue...now they know.

Whether SS454 is real or he isn't, I've grown up with types like him. Whether they were man or woman, they had something the general populace wanted, and thus the GP put him or her on a pedestal. They were the town hottie, their dad owned the biggest company, they were the best singer in choir and along comes a talent agent promising they have what it takes to make it in NYC or LA. They could treat life like a candy bowl, b/c that's how it was handed to them by others. Eventually, they would try changing their spots, as it were. And sometimes it worked. And other times it didn't. Sometimes, the reason it didn't was, the person who "Snared them" had the underlying goal of just snaring them. The connection would solder on, as both partners pretended the underlying goal wasn't really goal, that there was something deeper. The pedestal person wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side, as everyone else claimed it was and they secretly believed so themselves.

the problem is, grass doesn't get green by itself. There's an investment required, whether we're talking about real grass, or letting grass represent another issue. Its nice to get laid all the time. but the other parts of a relationship can be great, too...if you can just find that one healthy-minded person. Some people are able to have their cake and eat it, too. Others confuse themselves that its really cake they are eating. And the rest of us? We're diabetic with gluten allergies, so we give up some aspects of what really is cake, and we do that dirty word called....settle.

some of us are lucky, we do what we like to do when we're still 20 yrs old. we rock it, sleep 4 hours, and do it some more. Then we get old, replace a few joints in our body, sleep more, and realize...the salad days are gone. Sure were fun, but they don't work for us at this age (or our age doesn't work for them). Sometimes, being graceful is knowing when its time to evolve into other pursuits. Knowing when to turn away the cake, accepting there is another course of action, sometimes frees us from the pain of trying to continue eating it and looking like a glutton as a result.

maybe SS454's honey is a head shrink b/c she needed to explain childhood issues, and she worked to win him over b/c he was the prize and she really needed one. Maybe he's a lunkhead who kept it hidden for 20 years. Maybe they are two humans who have simply grown apart, like a lot of marriages lasting beyond the seven year itch. maybe sex is like oxygen, never an issue until you stop receiving it. Is talking it over with strangers before dumping it in the lap of his love such a bad thing? If we bat it back and forth and then he decides his head is up his ass, she goes on thinking everything's hunky-dory. Once he opens the door to his thoughts, however...he ain't never stuffing them back inside again.

does every middle aged woman here want to know every time their man gets an erection over a younger body? i'm thinking that's not a truth they want to handle. And it goes vice versa, natch. I know for a fact women do the, "if you weren't married,who would you date?" question, b/c at my old work place I came up as the answer once (yeah, I know, so was I). it was from someone with 3 kids, and happily married. As the saying goes, we're married, not dead from the belt down.

sometimes, we talk a good talk about what we're going to do. and then we fail to go tell the boss what's really on our mind. we're just venting.
 HereComesYourSun
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 75
Getting my Sex Life off the Endangered List
Posted: 9/11/2016 6:22:07 PM
Ya know what, I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for- A shallow, selfish relationship that's bound to hurt someone eventually.
And you know it's true. This is about as cliche as it gets.

There's plenty of shallow people out there who would be fine being 1/2 of a liar.
Lord knows over my 54 years I've seen enough of it to know how true this is.

I read most of the comments, not all.

Here's my 2 cents-
Why'd you let your relationship go/get to this point? What are YOU gaining by it being this way?
Would you say if asked (and I guess I'm asking) you may have kinda wanted it this way?
Has it been easier for you over the years to become "lazy" and not have to put in the thought/hard work of a LTR?
Have you kinda been coasting along and then kinda one day decided you were bored?

Do you think you might be having a mid-life crisis?

How do you solve problems? Not just the ones in your main relationship but in life? Do you run when it gets to a point where you perceive it's too hard?
Why do you think your woman is no longer interested in sex with you?
Do you see yourself as a manipulator?
Clearly there's was a point in your life where not telling the truth seemed ok. When was it?
Did you try asking your woman this - Hey, babe, would you prefer I lie to you or would you prefer we break up?
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