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Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 21
Help appreciatedPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Oh Lady :( {}
Shewy - It is overwhelming when the Doctors are tossing out terms, medication can play havoc, etc. Dr. Google can scare the bejesus outta Satan
My idea.. here we have a central Cancer Agency, you must there too. You could call and ask to speak so someone, the staff are always wonderful in my experience. Get the info from the source as it were.
Glad she has you in her corner.
You keep us posted, k?
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 22
Help appreciated
Posted: 9/19/2016 8:44:56 PM
I understand that you want to do what you feel is "right" for you.

On the other hand she is the one that decides what is right for herself. She just met you. This situation is very personal and she will probably want close family and people she has known for years to give her the support she needs. You are not it.

Live with the reality. You are not it. Let it go!
Joined: 4/2/2016
Msg: 23
Help appreciated
Posted: 9/20/2016 2:47:53 PM
I have been out of town on a business meeting and arrived back around 5ish this evening, I texted her as promised to say that I have travelled back safely, She said that she is just ordering pizzas for herself, daughter and family and do I want to call round and join them which I did.
She has to go into hospital tomorrow, so I obviously want to see her before then, plus I had some duty free perfume for her, so can give her this as well.

We all had our Pizza, the family were talking about arrangements for tomorrow, I just sat quietly, unless spoken to, when her son-in-law said to me "what time will you be at the hospital? do you need a lift?

She (Sheila, I cant keep calling her she) Shiela said that I am in the middle of applying for new contracts and that I have to concentrate on the business at the moment.
I told her that I am not 24hrs at work I can always find time to visit.
So as it stands at the moment, her family will take Shiela to hospital, and I will visit in the afternoon and evening vsiting times, I'll obviously as arranged txt Shiela's daughter during the day.

sticchic you said "I understand that you want to do what you feel is "right" for you."
I know that we have not known Shiela that long, no we are not in love,,,, yes we have a really good relationship so far, this relationship feels "right" for me.

All of her friends and people who have known her for years will still be visiting and giving her their support as well as mines if needed.
Anyway this is the latest upgrade, and thanks a lot for all of your comments so far.
Joined: 4/2/2016
Msg: 24
Help appreciated
Posted: 9/21/2016 2:48:05 PM
Operation is all done and finally finished with, I didn't visit as I had a text from her daughter to say that Shiela is still very groggy and not really with it yet.
The surgeon said that the op went really well and that he did not have to take the breast away after all.

Through messages I have received, over the next few days a barrage of tests etc will take place, and as soon as the wound has healed well enough they will be starting the Chemo Therapy.
So that's all that I really know for the moment.

I asked Shiela's daughter to deliver, a card, flowers and fruit (She's not a chocolate or sweet lover) and she told her daughter to thank me for them all and she will call/txt me as soon as the op is over or when she feels up to using her phone etc.

I am taking care of Shiela's little dog whilst she is in Hospital, the daughter has 3 cats so can't really take the dog to her house, she has enough worries with her mum without taking time out to deal with the dog.
So I volunteered to take him.
He comes to work with me in the car and is loving all of his new experiences.
I'm going to take some video clips of the dog running riot in our office to cheer Shiela up a bit.
The dog barks constantly and jumps about all of the time in Shiela's car when she is driving, I've already taken a clip of him sitting like lord muck in the passenger seat of my car, no barking or jumping at all.
Hopefully she will like the clips.
So that's it, still very early days with a lot more to come for Shiela, All I can do is pray that she has enough strength to fight it off.
Hopefully over the next week or so. everyone will know the outcome of the tests etc.
Thanks for now.
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 25
Help appreciated
Posted: 9/22/2016 12:24:24 PM
Yes :) just remember that even the worst day only has 24 hours. She trusted you with her doggie, things looking good
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 26
Help appreciated
Posted: 10/1/2016 8:10:39 PM
LET HER KNOW that you are going to be there whenever she needs you. However if she is refusing to see you then you need to stop insisting. Be respectful of her wishes. Once she is better she may contact you again but now, if she wants to be alone then you need to leave her alone.
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 27
view profile
Help appreciated
Posted: 11/20/2016 1:15:20 PM
You know what to do. You are doing the right things. But a little tip; any kind of Chemo is a steely wench. It messes with your appetite, your mood and just about every other bodily function. That will be the real test. It is still best to mainly just be in support mode. Don't offer food, or meals out because that can be very unappealing. If they invite you over for a meal that's great. Good luck!
Joined: 11/10/2016
Msg: 28
Help appreciated
Posted: 11/20/2016 8:24:59 PM
This thread warms my heart. OP thanks for being respectful of her boundaries but also supportive to her needs... where you are leaving the communication open to her comfort zone but give her other things to bring her joy. You are a special human being... whatever path you guys go down I hope it brings you both joy ;)
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