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 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 351
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.Page 15 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

Maybe he treats her well." Being treated well & treating your partner well are more important than looks and height


+1000
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 352
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/1/2018 6:24:20 PM
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19535604/top-20-traits-she-wants/

Apr 17, 2018
This list of "top 20 traits she wants" in a man, in this most recent article DOES not agree with the list provided above, on this page.

 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 353
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/1/2018 7:08:50 PM
not all women want a tall man, but most want them to be taller than they.... If the man is broad then I dont care if he is around 5'8" but not shorter... And yes we want what we want and no amount of height or weight shaming will change that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 354
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 2:04:37 AM


Maybe he treats her well." Being treated well & treating your partner well are more important than looks and height
+1000

Yeah, but if doesn't have sufficient looks (or height; a subset of Looks) -- he's not going to be her "partner" let alone getting past maybe a sympathy-date. :) It's an even swifter deal-breaker.

Sally: "Bob, (sob), I finally broke up with Jim. He never treated me that well, and I finally couldn't take it...."

Bob: "Awww, that sucks. You're such a great gal, I agree, you deserve better. I have to ask, though. Why wouldn't you ever go out with me? I'm certainly no jerk."

Sally: "Seriously? Because you're 5'7", more than chubby, and it's not like your face makes up for anything."

Bob: "Oh. Wow. Okay..."

Sally: "I'm sorry, Bob. I misspoke. I meant to say -- I just didn't feel a connection. ... Which reminds me. My friend Barb. She's really NICE. You should meet her..."

Apr 17, 2018
This list of "top 20 traits she wants" in a man, in this most recent article DOES not agree with the list provided above, on this page.

Yeah, but, that's what women Say. And although I like that magazine, you'll always find articles conflicting (as with different places VS others). What women are Actually Attracted to when single is different than what they want Ideally in a Relationship with a BF.

not all women want a tall man, but most want them to be taller than they.... If the man is broad then I dont care if he is around 5'8" but not shorter...

So basically, you don't necessarily need a tall guy -- but you do need him not to be short. IMO, I think that's the typical mindset of a typical gal around average female height, or socially-connected+pretty and pretty short. That aside, if one truly doesn't care if a guy's 5'8", it's hard to believe it'd be the no-excuses "cut off" at the same time. "Sorry Frank, you're 5'7". You got a nice face and are in reasonably decent shape -- but beat it. I got barely-average Joe over here at 5'8"!" ;)
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 355
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 4:54:11 AM
^^
My whole life I've heard men (including those who were avg. to less than) yak ad nauseum about women & their looks.

"She's a 10"

"DDG"

"I like a big rack"

"pretty blue eyes"

"a sexy 7"

bla bla bla

what about looking at a woman & observing her intrinsic qualities? morals, characters, intellect, political stance, etc?

But when the tables get turned & men start getting treated the way they have treated women, oh, the audacity of it?

I see plenty of short men everywhere w/ women, all types of short men, some rich some poor some thin some fat some handsome some not so much & they are w/ a variety of women as well.

Who knows WHY people really partner up.

I think some people use their LOOKS AS AN EXCUSE to avoid commitment. God forbid if they have to answer to someone or make an effort.

My husband is over a foot taller than me. His late wife was even shorter than me. It's the type he liked & pursued. Had I been pursued by a shorter man first, maybe I would be married to a man that is 5ft 5.

I am confident enough in myself as a woman to be w/ a man who is 5ft4 or 6ft4, I don't need a tall man to "elevate my status" bec. I am secure in myself.

Shoot, even Billy Joel got Christy Brinkley (even tho it lasted for less than forever) WHY? Bec. he was confident & successful, & not whining & fearful to approach her.

PS_ I agree w/ Ms. Micki, I think we have the same ideas in many respects.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 356
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 9:38:11 AM

We prefer what prefer, all the forum whining and posts in the world won’t change our minds.


That's true. Some people also prefer younger or older partners. Your logic needs to apply there, as well.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 357
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:01:07 PM

I see plenty of short men everywhere w/ women, all types of short men, some rich some poor some thin some fat some handsome some not so much & they are w/ a variety of women as well.


Same. Short men have a better chance at dating women he already knows rather than online strangers. All the women see is a pairing of numbers and he gets the boot. There is a world of dating/meeting/mating OFFLINE. Complaining about it online isn't going to better your chances. Develop some interpersonal skills, learn to speak confidently, play to your strengths and maybe you'll attract some women in the real world.

I once dated a man who was 5'3" (shorter than me). We met in a Spanish class at my then-local community college. He was worldly, confident, charismatic, well-dressed and charming. His face was average in looks but if he had just cold-messaged me on a dating site, I probably would have passed him by. I got to know him in and outside of that class beyond his face and stature.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 358
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:09:14 PM
I don't think I pay attention to most things anymore.
Just be ****ing nice...have a little patience, smile a
little more, **** a little less, don't have any stalkers
and we'll probably get along.

Must like pets though. Maybe not cats or snakes.
Don't drive like a looney tune, stop for lemonade
stands and don't ask for your change back.

You can be short or tall.
Being tall doesn't guarantee you won't be a small person.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 359
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/2/2018 12:38:52 PM
I can honestly say when I was online dating...I paid absolutely no attention to their height!!

My husband was tall...6'3"
My last partner was 5'6" and my current is 5'6"....I am 5"5".

When it comes to dancing, kissing and bedroom activities...I will have to say I prefer the shorter versions!

Once again...I will stick with personality/attitude as my defining factor.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 360
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/2/2018 2:51:38 PM
I was going to type a long post, but i'll try to keep it short.

ever since Cleopatra rubbed ash around her eyes to seduce the Roman prez, we've viewed women on the strength of their looks, and men on the strength of their...strengths. I don't know how many youtube vids are of men running around in bathing suits, but admittedly I don't watch Lexi Bell roller skate in pigtails to "spirit in the sky" on youtube and wonder about her ability to pay my bills. I guess guys wouldn't mind being judged about their ponytail or how they look after their diet, but height they feel is something they can't fix easily. For every couple I see that doesn't make "physical-appearance sense", I see plenty more that make biological sense. And as pointed out, Christie Brinkley/Billy Joel and Billy Bob Thorton/Angela Jolie marriages don't seem to last as long as the people they do end up with.

of course, if a guy is just lookin' to procreate...he just needs that one woman with great genes for his offspring. but if he wants all the benefits of good looks (better at sales, more attention from strangers, etc etc) and to feel that he can attract more than one woman in his life...then he pays too much attention to the rejection he gets. He doesn't like getting the short end of the stick.

I know some women out there actually do put personality over looks. but trust me, they are rare, I've been searching for them all :) as the ladies have pointed out, an un-photogenic fellow will have better luck with the people he knows. they will see him for his personality. and then, size won't matter.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 361
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/2/2018 10:27:16 PM
A major problem with POF is that we judge looks or personality before even meeting someone in person. I wish we could post videos to our profile. Might give a person a better idea of whether we could be attracted to someone before disqualifying them.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 362
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 2:48:11 AM
A major problem with POF is that we judge looks or personality before even meeting someone in person. I wish we could post videos to our profile. Might give a person a better idea of whether we could be attracted to someone before disqualifying them.

You can put youtube links in your profile here i think? If so just make a video and put it on there, with link only settings if you like, and then have it on your profile that way?
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 363
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 5:34:41 AM
I would only put a video if I saw other people's videos too. Just like photos. I hate it when people can see me but I can't see them.
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 7:06:35 AM

I know some women out there actually do put personality over looks. but trust me, they are rare,

I remember when you had a photo up. I thought you were very attractive, I also like smart men so that makes you even more attractive to me. Why must you live so far away? I'd take you out to dinner and even pay, with a coupon mind you, but i'm cheap like that.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 365
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 7:32:42 AM
why thank you :) Lucky you live in another country. But I'm sure there are smart men like myself up there, too. I can say from experience..the people who value intelligence the most, have it themselves. Its hard to judge something we don't have personal experience with.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 366
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 8:23:09 AM
Usually, for the woman to be interested, the man usually has to meet or exceed her physical attraction bar.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 367
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/3/2018 10:03:11 AM

A major problem with POF is that we judge looks or personality before even meeting someone in person.


That's not exclusive to POF though. People who may be "lacking" in the looks/height/weight department need to develop other traits and skills that would render them viable & desirable candidates in the real world. Online dating is not going to work in their favor because it is so focused on the exterior. They need to try other avenues if they're serious about finding a partner.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 368
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/3/2018 11:14:17 AM

Short men have a better chance at dating women he already knows rather than online strangers.

Sorry - just felt I had to rip on Captain Obvious for this little nugget. EVERYBODY has better luck with people they have real life connections with - aside from maybe prisoners on Death Row.

They need to try other avenues if they're serious about finding a partner.

Couldn't the same be said of ALL the chronically single people in here? There's plenty of attractive people that are "statistically" perfect that still can't make something last and are recycling their six year old photos in here again for the fourteenth time.

1) It is true there are indeed plenty of lazy or single-minded people who use online dating and expect it to work the first time, and then gripe about it. Millenials come to mind.

2) But it is ALSO true there are people trying all kinds of avenues for meeting people, and haven't had success. Online dating for some time was considered a last resort, not the first place to start looking. Assuming the first conclusion in here is not always the correct one.

3) 'Trying' other avenues is pretty much what this forum is all about. People inquire within about their POF experiences and seek to find better results. What's so amazing is how people with even a moderate crumb of what they consider success come in here and insist they know what they are doing, or refuse to change part of what they think made POF work for them. A lot of connections in here are dumb luck. I'm no genius matchmaker by any means, but I look at logic and statistics and realize people use these online tools to search for fantasies that match their vanity, not their true lives. Trying another 'avenue' can mean joining a church, or a Meetup group, or another dating site - but it can also mean to STOP limiting your online searches by a freaking number or mile post.

Matching online is superficial. End of story. There IS something seriously skewed with playing the numbers game in online dating. Pretending that character or a moral compass or compatibility can be found in a list of statistics or a few sentences of a profile is wishful thinking at best. What people need to stop doing is telling people to go away and look elsewhere because they don't want to hear their whining anymore. You tell that to a bunch of black people after a kid got shot, and they gather enough numbers to block a busy freeway with their protests. I'm not saying there's going to be a bunch of Danny DeVito types fouling up traffic any time soon, but dismissing others for being ignored when you may very well be the people ignoring them is hypocrisy at its best.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 369
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 5/3/2018 12:41:38 PM
siisaa:
My response to those "puzzling" couples is always, "Maybe he treats her well".
My response is similar: "Maybe he treat$ her well."

Angel wrote:
Shoot, even Billy Joel got Christy Brinkley (even tho it lasted for less than forever) WHY? Bec. he was confident & successful, & not whining & fearful to approach her.
And because he was a world famous celeb. With celebs, throw everything else out the window far as I'm concerned. Being uber rich dude, especially rich AND famous, overwhelms the other "attractiveness" variables. Being rich and/or famous, as a male, precluded Billy Joel from ever having to "whine" or "be fearful" about approaching ANY woman. Now...before he became a ..um....big shot.....maybe he was whiny and fearful with women....but even if he wasn't ...doubt he would have ever had ..... any chance with Christy at all..

Angel wrote:
My whole life I've heard men (including those who were avg. to less than) yak ad nauseum about women & their looks.

"She's a 10"

"DDG"

"I like a big rack"

"pretty blue eyes"

"a sexy 7"

bla bla bla

what about looking at a woman & observing her intrinsic qualities? morals, characters, intellect, political stance, etc?

But when the tables get turned & men start getting treated the way they have treated women, oh, the audacity of it?
Fair point, but a woman can't be filtered out, like sludge, based on the attributes you illustrate here. Unlike height. The closest for women, I imagine, would be body type...but that can be vague. I think that's the main aspect of some of the short mens' complaints about OLD.

I guess if we had fields like "YUGE rack, big rack, just a handful rack, small rack, flat as a pancake," ...or "1-3, 4-7, 8-9....and "Perfect 10"......or "bla," bla bla," "bla bla bla" ....then these attributes may be the equivalent to the significance of height - to a man in OLD?

Danimal:
I'm not saying there's going to be a bunch of Danny DeVito types fouling up traffic any time soon,
Last thing we need is yet another aggrieved group protest movement. "Short Lives Matter," perhaps? Protesting, blocking traffic, wearing Randy Newman LP covers on their head maybe.

Danimal:
but dismissing others for being ignored when you may very well be the people ignoring them is hypocrisy at its best.
They may be ignoring you online...but I think their point is....if they met you IRL and got to know you maybe they'd give you a chance. That's the way I read the previous few comments by the wimminsfolk.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 370
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 1:05:53 PM

A major problem with POF is that we judge looks or personality before even meeting someone in person.


Technically, that's not a problem with POF, but rather most of the people using POF.

People can make better decisions if they make the effort.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 371
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 7:16:39 PM
I think the only prejudice is that women can put their physical requirements for a man in their profile and still receive messages. If a man says he only dates women under a certain weight or women with doubles Ds, how many messages do you think he’s gonna get?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 372
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 7:49:17 PM
^ men rarely receive messages first anyway so I doubt it'll make that big a difference. Women can get away with that because men's value & worth aren't as tied into their appearance as women's are. Now...if a woman's profile outlined men's credit scores, income potential and vehicle age, make & model requirements, I could see how (serious) men would be more likely to dismiss her.


What people need to stop doing is telling people to go away and look elsewhere because they don't want to hear their whining anymore. You tell that to a bunch of black people after a kid got shot, and they gather enough numbers to block a busy freeway with their protests. I'm not saying there's going to be a bunch of Danny DeVito types fouling up traffic any time soon, but dismissing others for being ignored when you may very well be the people ignoring them is hypocrisy at its best.


Comparing the injustices of police brutality to not being able to get a date (or laid) is preposterous. I'm also entitled to dismiss or give attention to whoever I want, just like you are.

My point is that getting pissy about why online strangers don't want you is an exercise in futility. Maybe if these rejected people were out more and developing/cultivating hobbies with other like-minded individuals they wouldn't be so bothered that Cutie760 ignored their message.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 373
hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 8:10:31 PM

^ men rarely receive messages first anyway so I doubt it'll make that big a difference. Women can get away with that because men's value & worth aren't as tied into their appearance as women's are. Now...if a woman's profile outlined men's credit scores, income potential and vehicle age, make & model requirements, I could see how (serious) men would be more likely to dismiss her.


Phooey! Women also judge men by looks. They just don’t admit that they do. If a woman doesn’t like a guy’s pic she won’t even bother to look at the rest of his profile. And this to not just apply to receiving first messages, but also getting responses to messages that men send out.
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 374
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/3/2018 10:40:11 PM
I have posted on this before. Studies have proven that women judge men's looks harsher when using OLD. OKC did a study a few years back that showed women only found about 20% of males using the sight as attractive. Men judged the ladies about 50-50, which is what the site expected. This study was posted on the OKC blog but recently it was taken down. It was probably taken down because they don't want more men leaving the site. Similar studies have been done with others sites and apps and the results are mostly the same. That is why OLD does not work well for most guys.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 375
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hey, don't get short with us :)
Posted: 5/4/2018 8:25:23 AM

Comparing the injustices of police brutality to not being able to get a date (or laid) is preposterous.

Who said anything about getting laid? This is merely about getting NOTICED. People who live with an average to below-average status are totally IGNORED. This isn't about the selfish goals of one man - or the last few guys you tried to date - it's about the nearly fifty percent of men in here who are statistically invisible. Women that are on the much less attractive side know the feeling, but several of them still get more attention than MOST men in here.

Getting a date - getting laid - getting a relationship - that's all up to each of us to EARN through an interaction. But online, there is NO interaction. People get screened out, site unseen, on an epic scale -- and yet people still come in here, post after post, talking about what others did to foul up their last interactive relationship. You can't screw up a relationship - OR succeed at one - if people refuse to acknowledge you exist.


Maybe if these rejected people were out more and developing/cultivating hobbies with other like-minded individuals they wouldn't be so bothered that Cutie760 ignored their message.

What about Grandma716? Or MomOfFour265? This isn't freaking vanity about being ignored by the prettiest of the pretty - it's being ignored by our own peers. These ARE the people we see out and about, that share hobbies and past times. Women use online dating because they programmed themselves to be so freaking 'busy' with their own lives that they don't even make eye contact in public any more. Approaching after church, at a grocery store, at school - yeah, sure, sounds like a good idea - but if they are wrangling their kids along, look exhausted, and any attempt to get their attention gets met with a, "Get out of my way or I will freaking kill you," look - you tell me - how a guy is supposed to figure out the best way to approach?

"Hi, my name's Dan. Sorry to interrupt your grocery shopping, but you totally ignored me on a dating site and I'm trying to prove I'm real."

Women DO NOT ALLOW moments to approach any more. Seriously. If they are not freaking locked into their phones, they are distracted by doing way too many things for their kids and others. Finding an opportunity in real life is almost as hard as online, and it's not guys that make it that way, at least not most of them. Women do it to themselves. Plenty.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY9TVpgqf_I

Changing the height restriction on a dating site by two freaking inches is absolutely nothing effort-wise, but somehow, because a GUY is suggesting the idea, it has no merit. We must be lower class, a minority - somehow inferior, so our opinions don't matter. We must want it for selfish reasons. I don't really care what you may think about me - but that kind of thinking is EXACTLY why there are crowds of people blocking freeways. Sure, it's not a life-or-death kind of battle, but the prejudiced thinking is definitely there. Being female or a minority or even being prejudiced against your entire life does not make you immune from having your own unfair biases.

You are still entitled to dismiss or show your attraction to whomever you want. That right is still there. My whole point is that changing the parameters of what you tell the machine to mechanically separate for you can still be tweaked and not lose any ground. Who knows? Maybe it will help. Short lives matter - but we can't get anything right OR wrong if never given the chance.
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