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 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 426
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.Page 18 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

Women also judge men by looks. They just don’t admit that they do. If a woman doesn’t like a guy’s pic she won’t even bother to look at the rest of his profile. And this to not just apply to receiving first messages, but also getting responses to messages that men send out.

I agree. For both genders, pictures are often the most important thing for OLD. Followed by stats. If they like your pictures and stats, then they might read the rest of the profile. When I was using OLD, it's no coincidence I often got more emails after I added new and better pictures of myself.

Some women may date a man that they consider to be below average looking because he is famous, rich, and/or powerful. But for the most part, that is more likely to apply for men that they meet offline.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 427
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/23/2018 10:37:54 AM
Back to the original topic. I would have a mild preference for taller man. But I wouldn't dismiss a man I generally liked just because he is vertically challenged.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 428
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/23/2018 12:27:03 PM
They r rude, nasty, have a Napoleonic Complex & should be stomped on & eradicated.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 429
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/23/2018 2:14:50 PM

They r rude, nasty, have a Napoleonic Complex & should be stomped on & eradicated.


I don't think they're the ones with the complex.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 430
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 3:39:48 AM
^^

GEEZ U TAKE THIS 4 UM SERIOUSLY?

the same old same old, nice guys, short guys, fat girls, old bags, who pays, pump n dump, bla bla bla
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 431
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:41:07 AM

They r rude, nasty, have a Napoleonic Complex & should be stomped on & eradicated.


Do horizontally challenged women have a Betty Crocker Complex?
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 432
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:49:31 AM
^^

PROBABLY SO!

VERY CLEVER!






n order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 433
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 3:53:23 PM
Maybe in OLD height matters more because I see more short guys with girls than tall guys in real life. Of course that's purely anecdote
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 434
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 5:28:37 PM
^ that has been covered ad nauseum. Short guys will have better luck dating if they expand their horizons beyond online. I've dated 2 short guys (5'3" & 5'5"). One I met in school and the other was through a mutual friend. I got to know them before we ever went on a first date. At that point, their height was a non-issue because I liked their personality, attitude, demeanor and how they made me feel when I was around them.

Typically people are given way more leeway IRL than online.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 435
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:07:06 PM

^^

GEEZ U TAKE THIS 4 UM SERIOUSLY?


LOL. I don't think I'm taking it seriously. Didn't you just block a bunch of people and then announce it to everyone?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 436
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:35:32 PM

Typically people are given way more leeway IRL than online.


Online is more about pictures and certain numbers that look good on paper like 6 feet tall, 6 figure salary, etc...

As usual, I find myself in agreement with you.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 437
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 11:37:47 AM
I am 6 feet tall, but when i was dating and using online sites , id laugh at women who stated a height requirement.
No one under 5'10 but if you ask their weight and state your weight requirement, they get all angry...
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 438
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 2:48:33 PM
“I am 5'4’ However I didnt want to have children with him in case we had a short son. I come from a family of very tall men and he would not have felt comfortable. Sounds awful but genetics play a big part in our choice of partner.” / “LOLOLOL...I've literally sat at the computer for the past 5 minutes rereading the above post and cracking up.”

I’m pretty sure that factors into the thinking of a lot of younger short women – their lives have been annoying because of their height, so why would they want to foist that issue on their future children as well? Hell, it factored into MY thinking – back when I was still thinking I wanted to be a parent, I absolutely did not want to have a boy, for fear he’d end up being like me (and his likely short mother) and living the miserable rejection-filled life I’ve had. A short girl would obviously be fine, other than, like her mother, be annoyed at having to move her car seat up close to the steering wheel and using stepladders for high shelves.

Of course, the difference between me thinking that way and a short woman thinking that way is the short woman can solve her problem by hooking up with a tall man and splitting the gene difference, whereas I do not have the tall woman option. And despite what all has been said in this (highly repetitive) thread, the reason I do not have the tall woman option is not because I will not date a tall woman – it’s because the tall woman will not date me. I do agree with those who say, the taller the woman, the thinner she better be. Tall woman/short man is already weird enough without it being big tall woman/thin short man. That said, I’m much more strongly attracted to voluptuous short women than skinny short women -- voluptuous, not obese. I dated several obese women in my younger years out of desperation. I just could not conjure up any attraction to them (or get my short arms around them, for that matter – there are practical considerations to these things beyond merely attraction, I suppose).

I won’t get bogged down in this whole “who has it worst” thing, but having had a number of friends on POF in the same area and close to the same age, I can tell you every overweight female friend regardless of height has received tons of messages on here – sometimes more messages in a week than I’ve received in 11 years. Which is not to say they liked many (or any) of the guys messaging them, but the options were aplenty. Yet, still, a fraction of those received by my thinner female friends on here, who sometimes had to kill their accounts because they were so overwhelmed – my most attractive friend on here (mid-20s, blonde, awesome body) would usually get over 100 new contacts A DAY. Sure, some of it is just men being much more likely to initiate contact than women, and most women not even having to, but I’m just saying: in OLD, I’d take being an overweight woman over being a short man any day, because it has to be at least somewhat less damaging to your self-esteem to think lots of members of the opposite sex desire you vs. almost none. IRL may be another story entirely. Certainly being overweight (particularly obese) is a negative for women, though again, there is an entire popular genre of porn dedicated to them – there is no such equivalent for short men, because there is no market whatsoever for short men. Find me a woman who finds shortness in men to be attractive (as opposed to not caring about height or being willing to make an exception) and I’ll show you a woman with unquestionable psychological issues.

I will also add: I do not have perfect weight-oriented genes. If I stop exercising, I will get belly fat. In fact, to look like I do at this age, I pretty much have to work out 15-20 hours a week. Back when I had 2 to 3 jobs and couldn’t work out that much, I started gaining weight (you’d think the physical jobs would qualify as “working out,” but apparently not). I realize most people cannot work out 15-20 hours a week -- that is itself a part time job. I will also say it has not been worth it. No woman has ever dated me at my most ripped (high school/college/today). Literally ALL of my dates came when I was out of shape (though never truly fat), but very few of those dates were with women I found physically attractive, so my figuring is I need to be the most physically attractive I can be to not turn off women whose figures I find attractive. Maybe one day that will work out, but I seriously doubt it at this point.

I am old enough now (40s) that the vast majority of short women close to my own age are done having children and no longer care about the genetic issues associated with reproducing with a short man. But I’m pretty sure that sort of thinking is difficult to reverse after nearly a lifetime of taking it into consideration. Furthermore, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that that NOT having children or getting married (or even being in a real relationship of any sort) has become an albatross in-and-of-itself, maybe as problematic as my height: I am in no way in the same phase of life as my female peers, and even though it’s not something I directly mention in any of my profiles, I think it’s pretty easy to ascertain from my “single” (not divorced or widowed) status, my “no children” status and that my profile mentions so much about pursuing the types of dreams that children and families get in the way of. I’m more like the type of guy a woman just out of college or approaching retirement would be interested in, not the typical woman in her mid to late 30s or 40s. I still mostly attempt to contact childless women, but they have become far-and-few between, and any woman who has made it into her 40s childless and never married probably is one of the most selective women on earth (not to mention, an extremely hot commodity), and considering my statistics are among the least desired on earth, it is not surprising I don’t get many responses from them. Plus, I’m in my 40s with a baby face. Man, that’s just goddamn poison – maybe worse than being short.

*

Also, as I’ve said before, Tinder and Bumble have been interesting lessons for me, as has this headless default pic on POF. I always assumed the reason I got very few unsolicited views on POF was because most women were excluding men my height in their searches, but once I started using this cropped headless default pic showing a ripped body, I started getting a lot of views (but still almost no messages). I still think most women are filtering men my height out in advanced search, but apparently my thumbnail pic is being shown to women in enough other ways that I can still get dozens of views a month despite my height from women intrigued by the way this pic is presented. Meanwhile on Tinder and Bumble, I rarely get any matches despite height not factoring in at all – I don’t list my height and there’s nothing in my pictures that suggests my height. For a while I thought this was simply how it was for men after being told by most of my female friends on these apps that they swipe left 99 times out of 100 because most guys do nothing for them. But after talking to some guys on the apps, I came to realize it’s mostly just me, because most of the guys I know on them get matches fairly frequently and unlike me have met a decent amount of women from them (I’ve never met any – been on Tinder for 6 years and have probably swiped right MANY THOUSANDS of times). So again: height is not an issue here. So it’s got to be my face. Or my race. Or both. Which must also be a problem on POF and other height-oriented OLD services. Which I already knew. But still, despite all my knowledge and experience with OLD, I’m overwhelmingly surprised by how much of a Tinder/Bumble failure I am, especially considering the vast majority of my dates in my life came from Tinder’s predecessor/inspiration, Hot Or Not, but the difference between them at this point is over 15 years: women in their teens and early 20s (nearly all of them I met on HON) are much more open-minded and experimental than women in their 40s, who’ve had a couple extra decades of experience to figure out what they like (or more like, don’t like). Plus, I was in a better position with a baby face when I was closer to being a baby than I am now.

One thing I will add about what the long gone OP said: I cannot recall ever being told by a woman on OLD that she wouldn't date me because of my height. But in most such cases, the woman knows your height before she even engages in a conversation with you -- and just won't do it if she feels that way. Now on HON/Tinder/Bumble, I've had women stop talking to me after finding out my height (since that's never listed in my profiles on those sites). But never had one explicitly state she had lost interest because of my height, then stop talking to me. In fact, on HON, several women (closer to girls) agreed to meet me anyway even after discovering they were several inches taller than me! Never worked out, though, obviously (that is, us dating -- not us not meeting, though I've certainly experienced a large number of stand-ups, but most did show up). Now in real life: Hell Yeah, women have said to my face they thought I was too short to date -- including women shorter than me! It's funny how most women say men would be more successful if they tried to date women more similar to them, yet as pointed out by numerous women in this thread, that does not apply to height, as most short women are as enamored with tall men as tall women are -- hence the highly disproportionate number of tall women and short men on OLD, due to the large number of short woman/tall man couples. Which just makes OLD all that much more frustrating to tall women and short men. Interesting related note: I have never dated an athletic woman and have almost never dated a smart/educated woman, despite being extremely athletic and smart/educated -- I just cannot get women similar to me to respond and they never contact/match me. Heck, Radiohead is my favorite band, which I mention in a lot of my profiles -- only once have I ever got a woman with Radiohead in her profile to write me back, and all she said was "Yes, I was at their last concert" with no response to the next thing I said. For someone like me, commonalities is highly overrated. I just hope for mutual physical attraction and learn to live with whatever's going on with the woman's personality. (Well, that's my attitude anyway -- obviously I have not been able to put that theory into action for 11.5 years now.)
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 439
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 3:24:10 PM
^^ if you talk on and on the way you type...
being short isn't your issue!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 440
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 6:39:51 PM
^^^ I actually talk like he types, but I don't type like that. Eureka! That's my problem...I
talk too much




In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread. Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.

So what!
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 441
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:17:02 PM
Some girls like short guys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dZPRbR4SI8
 warmlightning
Joined: 1/15/2016
Msg: 442
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 8:36:39 PM
Why you pick on people that don't meet you height sensibilities. I'm short too and I think Hawking's writing's are fine.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 443
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:00:30 PM
I think Hawking writes very well.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 444
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/26/2018 10:40:37 AM

I do not have perfect weight-oriented genes. If I stop exercising, I will get belly fat

If you think that's genetics - then I fear to think what will happen when you realize turning 40 makes metabolism go to crap, regardless of activity level. It is pretty much a half time job to stay that trim. It's the same for middle aged ladies, runners and a lot of people who insist on a certain fitness level. People get addicted to it in the sense they cannot change their exercise habit very easily.

I find it curious how many fit middle-aged ladies state in their profiles that they would like some adventure and activity dates, yet they can't stand the idea of sitting still in a car for even a three hour trip somewhere. The addition to exercise - the compulsion to keep moving - creates a genuine habit. Yes, it is a healthy one in terms of physical well-being, but if you insist on dating partner searches that match your exact workout schedules and such - you might want to check your mindset. An EXACT fit is nearly impossible to find - and just like having kids, pets, or other commitments - you gotta make the time for them, not just 'allow' them to make time for you. Relationships with people who truly like you aren't worried about five extra pounds - but if you insist running five extra miles is more important than being on time for a date - then you gotta realize what your actions are saying. Your partner wants to feel like a priority, not an accessory after the fact.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 445
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Posted: 6/26/2018 1:35:27 PM
I’m more like the type of guy a woman just out of college or approaching retirement would be interested in,

!!!!
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 446
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Posted: 6/26/2018 1:56:45 PM
JulyStorm
I think Hawking writes very well.

+1
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 447
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Posted: 6/26/2018 2:43:29 PM
“If you think that's genetics - then I fear to think what will happen when you realize turning 40 makes metabolism go to crap, regardless of activity level.”

It IS genetics – how your body decides to put certain types of nutrition into certain places is mostly genetics, and certainly not anything you have any significant control over. It is the reason why 2 people can have almost identical diets and exercise routines and one of them has a 6 pack and the other does not. Some bodies distribute excess fat all over (the potential 6 pack people), others send excess fat only to certain body parts (often the belly in middle age men, hips in middle age women, but there is no guarantee of that). I was a competitive powerlifter for almost a decade throughout my youth and never had obvious abs, despite it being very difficult to find an ounce of fat on my body. I have a friend in her late 20s that eats whatever the hell she wants and has awesome abs (she also is a crossfit fanatic, which I can’t do because of my disabled left arm). That may cease to be true after she has kids and hits her 40s, but right now she has abs despite not having anything remotely resembling a super low fat Dwayne Johnson-type diet.

My metabolism actually started going to crap 11 years ago shortly after my one-and-only real ex-girlfriend broke up with me (pure coincidence, I’m sure). Before that, I could eat whatever and somehow still looked like I was in shape, even though I had barely touched a weight since the powerlifting accident in college that ruined my arm, and was never a runner and had no time for sports anymore. I started slowly gaining weight (mostly in my belly) from that point forward until I decided that had to come to an end and went back hardcore into working out (although be it with one arm). Indeed, after I suffered an impingement in my right arm late last summer and couldn’t work out for all for several months, I gained about 10 pounds despite my diet being unchanged. Which is all gone now that the ortho fixed my arm, but shortly after that mostly healed, I hairline stress fractured my femur running 15 to 20 miles a day and have been stuck on treadmills the past couple of months (I actually don’t know when or if I will run again – it has not gotten better, and some days even the treadmill is torture). Nevertheless, I’m currently back in the best shape of my life (118 pounds), even if my bones and muscles are all messed up. Time to hit the beach. Then take a healing break. During which, I bet I gain 5 to 10 pounds.

BTW, I agree: I am probably not going to find a woman interested in working out 15-20 hours a week. Hell, *I* don’t want to work out 15-20 hours a week – the running especially is mind numbing. My best friend keeps asking me HTF is that even possible. 20 hours is more than Johnson works out a week, and he’s a professional. Well, it’s pretty simple, actually: have no dates, no significant other, no family, no real hobbies, no part time weekend jobs (I usually work out 6 hours each on Saturday and Sunday) and just no life in general and you, too, can have a body like this. In your 40s. That said, I’d rather not date a couch potato either. Again, I can’t be remotely picky about these things, because I have so few options, but I really did not like dating inactive women in the past. But if for some reason a crossfit fanatic would take an interest in me, I’d probably bring my workout down to her level – they’re usually like 8-10 hours a week. That seems reasonable. I eat so little in general that I could probably maintain with just 6 hours a week. As it is, I can run a 10,000 calorie deficit in a week and not lose a pound because I seem to always be in “starvation mode” despite rarely ever feeling hungry.

“Some girls like short guys”

Ignoring the fact that that was a fantasy TV world, Davy Jones was rich, famous and extremely talented (particularly musically) – the top 3 short man cancelling effects. See: Prince. I really should not be anywhere near a guitar or piano, and I tried to become rich and famous in other ways, but none of them worked out. I’m just an ordinary average guy. Except I’m short. And my personality doesn’t match my appearance. And I have a bunch of muscles, which I think makes me a freak more than hot. And I wrote and produced one less-than-stellarly reviewed minor hit movie. Yeah, that really turned the women on.

“if you talk on and on the way you type...
being short isn't your issue!”

I’m a writer, not a talker. (What movie is that from?) Seriously, ask anyone who’s met me how much I talk in real life – my best friend was bugging me the other day about how little I was saying in our social group (a bunch of people I don’t really like). Oddly, Belle and Pig’s great fear was that I would talk too little, but as far as that meeting was concerned, I was the tour guide of a place I knew extremely well, so I had some things to say, but I’m sure neither one of them would suggest I dominated the conversation or talk like I write. If anything, you should be concerned that I’m sending messages to women in the style with which I contribute to message boards. I have only done that in the rare cases in which the woman was already sending me big chunks of dialogue and expected me to respond in kind. (Most such women I never end up meeting, because they’re just OLD time vampires.) I never send more than a couple sentences in a first message and rarely write more than a couple paragraphs even dozens of messages in. The primary difference between OLD messaging and this message board should be obvious: I’m responding to ONE person (most likely using her phone) on OLD, whereas I’m usually responding to a dozen people at once on POF’s message board, which usually necessitates a bunch of paragraphs. Most of the rest of you only find one or two people interesting to respond to – I try to respond to almost everyone, whether they were addressing me or not.

And with that in mind: thanks, warm, sun flower and July!
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 448
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/26/2018 5:12:49 PM

Oddly, Belle and Pig’s great fear was that I would talk too little, but as far as that meeting was concerned, I was the tour guide of a place I knew extremely well, so I had some things to say, but I’m sure neither one of them would suggest I dominated the conversation or talk like I write.


I wouldn't say fear per se, but I thought the possibility was strong. But no, you didn't come across as shy or a blabbermouth. Everything was balanced.

Oh, and I'll try this again..

Pssst, check out blackbeauty744. Cute, educated, potentially heading to Florida, and a HawkingJr fan. Some rather outstanding qualities, yes?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 449
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 6/26/2018 5:28:39 PM
Until I was 21 I was very athletic but if you were to look at me I was never skinny. Even when I was fit I had pretty big curves and my thighs always bugged me because they were so big. And when I was working fulltime and still going to school fulltime, I couldn't put time into exercise and I really started to put on weight even though I ate fairly decently, no overeating or anything. Genetics and my thyroid pretty much screwed me.

I was very physically active but during my first pregnancy I was so sick and couldn't exercise, lost all my muscles and then in the last couple months of pregnancy started to put on weight that wasn't muscle. And post-pregnancy, I couldn't become refit because my pelvis was misaligned with my right leg, something that often happens in late pregnancy because your pelvis is shifting to prepare for birth. And my second and third pregnancies were hard on my body too. Went to a chiropractor last summer though and finally my body felt well enough to get back in shape.

I generally eat well and I've been exercising a fair bit but I find it frustrating when I have to do all this work and other people do nothing and stay at a good weight. I do enjoy certain types of physical activity though and it would be nice to find someone to do it with. I go on bike rides and walks with my kids but its only for short distances and its not really exerting so I have to go off on my own a lot early mornings or late evenings. Doing an hour of brisk walking or going on a 1/2 hour bike ride gets kind of boring.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 450
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Posted: 6/26/2018 5:55:10 PM
^^^
You use the word boring a lot. I get bored. It is boring. Etc.

Something I always told my sons: Only boring people get bored.

Quit making excuses. Listen to a podcast while you walk or ride. Learn a language. Multitask. Do something to make it more interesting.
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