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 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 26
Prejudice versus short men online dating.Page 2 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

What is most annoying, is that it often comes from girls who are 5'0, 5'1, shorter than me!. Even short girls in US have prejudice against short guys which is very weird...
And sometimes, I will be honest, I have a nice shape, and I preferred if my date taken care of her health and shape also, not only for looks but for health matters too. But often, I tried to go out of the box, and talk to that "chubby" girl that seems like having a good personality (based on her profile) and is also very beautiful. And for my surprise, often I got the same reply "sorry, you're too short".


Here in the USA, we have equal rights. I seem to remember legislation passed during the Johnson administration that ensures fat, ugly and stupid people can date whomever they want, as long as the other person wants to date them. Some of these people have even gone on to MARRY and have CHILDREN. In some cases, this even includes "Dwarves"!! (I know you state "I am all proportional, and I am not a dwarf either," but maybe you can "pass"?)

Unfortunately, I am not sure there is any Constitutional Amendment guaranteeing a delusional, pre-med student who thinks he is all that and a mini bag of chips should be able to have his pick of defective, chubby girls, who are so grateful he asked them out, their panties drop before they hang up the phone.

There is some Amendment about freedom of association, or something, that has been held up by the Supreme Court (I'm pretty sure the case was Marvin Gaye vs. Les Gettiton) and chubby people in the USA are covered by the Bill or Rights (I think) and are free to date whomever they want. I dunno ... it's sort of like Pandora's box, once you let all these "lesser" people do stuff the "handsome," beautiful people do, like marry and have kids, it is hard to stop them. They go right on living their lives just as happy as clams.

Unfortunately, we have nothing in the Declaration of Independence to cover Whiners. I fear that it will be hard to get any legislation passed before you graduate from med school, but perhaps you can contact a local Senator ... problem is, s/he will not be likely to help a non-citizen. Well, anyway, not sure if things will change for you when you apply for citizenship, but most State programs have free shoe lifts, for US citizens, if you can prove height discrimination while dating.

Good luck trying to get you some. You may be better off waiting for your M. D., then you can come back and whine about golddiggers.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 27
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 6:06:50 AM
Op = you sound quite boastful and vain. By the time I got to the " even messaged chubby girls" I was smh.
There have been other threads same complaining. But perhaps it isn't because you are shorter, maybe that's just an easy way for women to decline your advances.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 28
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 7:17:55 AM
Yes being short is a disadvantage with OLD. But not smiling, not having a full body picture, and having "wants to date but nothing serious" also hurts your chances. Many people will think ( right or wrong ) that you are overweight and/or are primarily just looking for sex. Those things also can be dealbreakers.

BTW once you become a doctor and start making some money, there will be women that look past your height because of that. LOL.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 29
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Prejudice against short men in online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 7:27:14 AM
OP...I'm not tall and I have had very few women tell me I'm too short. That's in real life however. Online I could be too short, but I couldn't care less.

If the Brazilian standard of dating is better than the U.S., I may need to renew my passport.
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 30
Prejudice against short men in online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 10:00:32 AM
Dude, I am 6 foot so no matter what I may say that height is not a problem, you will find 100 other guys that are below the 5' 10" mark that will disagree with me. So I am going to grand you that.

However, you have a bigger problem. And that is that you're Brazilian. Yes. That is a problem. And I tell you why or how I know is a problem. I am from Venezuela. Your sister country to the north. Like you brother, we are taught growing up to be gentlemen. And in our countries, with our beautiful women being a gentleman works. But not in the US.

When I first came to this country and tried to be nice, open doors, take care of women, I quickly became friend-zoned like crazy. And let me tell you, I had access to incredibly beautiful women and yet nothing worked. I finally ended up dating this great girl but she broke my heart so bad that I became jaded and plain nasty. From them on I did not let anyone inside my heart, and my attitude in school was to stop doing all the polite things. Suddenly girls started to pour out of the sky and dated a lot of women. The interesting thing was that the worse my reputation got for sleeping around, the more women wanted to challenge.

So my advice is simple, concentrate on your medical career. Being a Dr is the biggest aphrodisiac. Second, stop being the Latino nice guy. Also realize that if you have an accent, use it. It makes many women meld.
Also be a man of conviction. Don't agree with a woman or in that case anyone just to agree with them. Do it because you believe. And if you don't, let them know. So "yes, those jeans make your butt look big."

Buena suerte.
 SambaDeUmaNotaSo
Joined: 9/8/2016
Msg: 31
Prejudice against short men in online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:40:52 PM
Hello everyone,
I moved to Brasil several years ago, from the U.S.
I'm not tall.
Speaking from personal experience, Brazilian women are definitely more flexible about height when it comes to dating a man.
It's almost a written law that couples in Brasil must hold hands at all times on the street, and lots of them even kiss passionately in public.
It's also quite common in Brasil for the woman to be taller than the man.
In fact, Brasil's new president Michel Termer is 170 meters in height (under 5 foot 7 inches), and his wife is 172 meters, which is almost 5 foot 8 inches.
On top of this, Brazilian women like to wear "saltos altos" - high heels.
And what's more, the two lovebirds have a 43 year age difference.
http://diariodonordeste.verdesmares.com.br/cadernos/nacional/online/quem-e-michel-temer-13-fatos-para-saber-sobre-o-presidente-em-exercicio-1.1547396
Abracos (hugs)!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 32
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:41:33 PM

very disappointing with the American standard of dating.


Welcome to the club.
Please find a seat.
The meeting will begin in a few minutes.
Coffee and donuts are on the table in back.


Even short girls in US have prejudice against short guys which is very weird...


Well, apparently they don't want short kids, or some such concept.


,... but that one thing means the most for american women.


Well, that age old saying IS "tall, dark, and handsome", not "short, dark, and handsome". Go figure.


Dating, in itself, exposes the prejudices' of us all.


Ain't that the truth.
I'm prejudiced against dating married women.

The nerve of me.


I find that some men don't like women with big mouths..


A lot do, though.
An ex-girlfriend of mine had a gal pal of hers whose nickname was "B and A".


Being a Dr is the biggest aphrodisiac.


Is being able to "play doctor" the second biggest?
 SambaDeUmaNotaSo
Joined: 9/8/2016
Msg: 33
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 1:46:08 PM
Hello everyone, and boa tarde Gannicus, tudo bem?
I moved to Brasil several years ago, from the U.S.
I'm not tall.
Speaking from personal experience, Brazilian women are definitely more flexible about acceptable dating height.
It's almost a written law that couples in Brasil must hold hands at all times on the street, and lots of them even kiss passionately in public.
It's also quite common in Brasil for the woman to be taller than the man.
In fact, Brasil's new president Michel Termer is significantly shorter than his wife, who is about 5 foot 8 inches.
On top of this, Brazilian women like to wear "saltos altos" - high heels.
And what's more, the two lovebirds have a 43 year age difference.

http://diariodonordeste.verdesmares.com.br/cadernos/nacional/online/quem-e-michel-temer-13-fatos-para-saber-sobre-o-presidente-em-exercicio-1.1547396

Abracos (hugs)!
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 34
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:10:09 PM

The first thing to realize is that people have, and are entitled to having preferences. Preferring a tall guy is not a prejudice, just a preference.


Preferring a taller guy because that's what you like, is a preference.

Refusing to date or communicate with shorter men because you believe they are less able to protect, or earn, or cannot control their temper - is a prejudice.

A lot of what colors decision-making in here isn't just based on their Christmas wish lists - some of it comes from former experiences, peer pressure, and childhood upbringing. Dating mistakes and mis-steps motivate people to try too hard to be too specific about what they 'prefer' out of fear of making more mistakes. If generic statistics like height, income, dress size or ethnic backgrounds make people assume compatibility issues without interaction, that's really more prejudice than preference.

The biggest hindrance to people finding compatibility, at least in my opinion - is being lazy about searching beyond the basics. Communication is sparse and flaky - assumptions are made a lot - and people just simply don't want to try harder to find a match. People rarely search for anything beyond a Sure Thing - at least while online. Maybe that's a prejudice, too.

If you want more search hits while online, then cheat your height taller. If you want something to last beyond the online search, then stay honest and ignore it as an issue. Worst thing you can do is whine about it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 35
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:31:45 PM

Refusing to date or communicate with shorter men because you believe they are less able to protect, or earn, or cannot control their temper - is a prejudice.


If a short guy carries a gun, would that offset women's fear of the guy not being to able protect her?
Personally, I prefer going to places where there is a low risk of danger.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 36
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 2:58:26 PM
And then ..............................there are some of us, who have no preference, one way or the other, concerning HIS height. Gasp!
I could not care less if I am taller than he is, with or with out shoes/boots on my feet.
LOL, I don't give'a what other people think, of us, as a couple, with regards to height. THEY don't live in my skin. I DO care how he treats me, my family, my friends, his family and friends and anyone he comes into contact/interacts with. on a daily basis.

Now me/I like to wear shoes or boots with at least 1 inch heels, preferably 3-4 inch heels. I have never liked "flats".

OP, I do understand, your complaint. However, you just need one young woman, to think you are, "all that and then some".

My cousin is a neurosurgeon in Fort Worth Texas. He stands at 5 ft 5. Nooo problem with the ladies. LOL
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 37
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/17/2016 3:06:52 PM

In fact, Brasil's new president Michel Termer is significantly shorter than his wife, who is about 5 foot 8 inches.
On top of this, Brazilian women like to wear "saltos altos" - high heels.
And what's more, the two lovebirds have a 43 year age difference.


Not that being First Lady to the President has anything to do with it, of course... ;oD

How's Bernie Ecclestone doing these days?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 38
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You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/17/2016 3:56:45 PM
I am sure that you dont like fat girls, right? So we all have our preferences. You are short, no doubt about it but short men marry and then have short children lol!!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 39
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/17/2016 9:22:50 PM

I am sure that you dont like fat girls, right? So we all have our preferences.


It's one thing not being physically attracted to fat women. But when a man states he doesn't like fat women because he thinks they are lazy, have bad body odor, he would be harshly criticized. Yet that is similar to the reasons that many women give for not dating shorter men. Short men have "Napoleon Complex". Taller men can "protect" a woman better, have better genes etc.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 40
You know POF is worldwide, right...???
Posted: 10/18/2016 3:48:26 AM
OP if it was true that no women will date a short guy only tall guys. There would be no short guys left by now they would have been breed out of existence . Except of some freak birth where someone was under 6ft.
As it seems that there are so many short guys out there it just begs to reason some women do the deed with short guys.
On the other hand on avg we are much taller then we used to be 500 years ago. So you might have something out there.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 41
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/18/2016 10:59:30 AM

However, all these qualities mentioned above is DESTROYED by one single "flaw". I am a short guy. I am 5'4~5'5. In Brazil my height was never a problem to meet nice girls, and giving a chance to date, even though I am shorter than the average height in Brazil also.


You should do a search for similar threads because this discussion has happened a hundred times already. There are so many things you can do to improve your game that complaining about being short shouldn't be on your agenda. You can get guys that are 5'10 that are insecure and blame their failures because they aren't the 6 foot guy. You're in control of your success or failure and there are more than enough woman out there that aren't hung up on height to date. Most of it is just rhetoric anyway. Most of the women I've heard say they need a tall man so they can wear heels end up marrying a guy that's shorter because she actually gets along with him.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 42
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/18/2016 4:01:06 PM

Well, suddenly the girl response would always be: "I am sorry Jeff, you are an amazing handsome guy, but you are too short. My friends will talk of this, and I will feel insecure or uncomfortable wearing my heels next to you".


Lots of people are insecure and insecurity runs deep and wide. It really has nothing to do with you other than the fact that you're present to be the focus of that insecurity.
I'm 5'8" barefoot and I've had dates/boyfriends/sex partners ranging from 5'2" to 6'4". The man I felt 'safest' with was 5'6".


But in POF, where I was forced to display my height, I almost never get a message from a woman. And I also almost never gets the response from a woman.

Keep on working... and do real life dating as well. The reason I dated some shorter men was the way they walked and presented themselves; confident, assertive, intelligent and polite. It made me melt to be the center of their world.


I tried a lot of strategies...

Maybe stop the strategies and actually act/react honestly?
That's not exactly what I mean, but so often men decide to 'play' at some personality or another and it almost never works.


But sometimes I notice that the girl's profile disappeared from my searching filter, and when I check my "sent box". The GIRL BLOCKED ME. All I tried was send ONE single message, and I get blocked right the way just because the girl doesn't like short guys...

Their loss - no matter why they might have blocked you. Don't torture yourself by checking back on their profiles.


And sometimes, I will be honest, I have a nice shape, and I preferred if my date taken care of her health and shape also, not only for looks but for health matters too. But often, I tried to go out of the box, and talk to that "chubby" girl that seems like having a good personality (based on her profile) and is also very beautiful. And for my surprise, often I got the same reply "sorry, you're too short".

Well, as a 'fat girl' so I'll miff and mutter 'arrogant twerp' under my breath. Don't take it seriously. Some people believe that people should be matched up with their equivalent of the opposite sex. Tall men with tall women, short men with short women, fat men with fat women... with no regard as to what each person wants either physically or mentally. Your attitude of dating 'out of the box' speaks of that kind of attitude. Don't date what you don't like simply to have a date. That's pathetic. Date her because you find her fascinating whether or not she's your idea of perfect.


I feel like so many women could be happy out there with a nice short dude.

A great many women are. While I wasn't always happy with my ex-husband, his height (5'7" to my 5'8") was never an issue.


...but that one thing means the most for american women

Not really; it just means a lot to the women you're contacting.
 xdatcali
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 43
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/25/2016 9:08:09 PM
I'm also a short guy. Here's my take on this:

If you are young, fun, and around a lot of women, you'll do fine. I did very well when I was college, in terms of getting laid. But if you want to do well in the US, you will either need to be creative in how you meet women or up your game significantly. When I was younger, I chose the latter. Now that I'm older and have less patience for BS, I've chosen the former.

Also, in medical school, you will have plenty of female options.

Here's what I do would if I were you:
1) Go to medical school
2) Date women in medical school
3) If you are unsuccessful in finding women there, go back to Brazil after residency and practice medicine there

For the life of me, I have no idea why you would even want to date women in the US. I've been to Brazil and the women there are phenomenal. They know how to take care of their men, are not fat (I also hate fatties), and are accessible to you since you know the language.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 44
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/25/2016 9:22:58 PM
I have dated 5'6" and fell in love with the guy. I am 5'4" However I didnt want to have children with him in case we had a short son. I come from a family of very tall men and he would not have felt comfortable. Sounds awful but genetics play a big part in our choice of partner. Shorter men can be more aggressive and wanting to overcompensate with the big car, the best of this and that etc. and may try harder to succeed. A shorter man with a good career, money and status will do okay. i.e the neurosurgeon. If he walks with confidence, is broad and fit and has and a certain swagger, that is attractive to some women.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 45
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/25/2016 9:44:58 PM

Emotionally speaking, I am not the "bad boy" kind of person.

Your primary photo certainly goes out of its way to put that out there, tho. Which, I guess is better than err'ing on the side of Nice Guy (tm)... but I strongly advise you to ease up on that look a bit. Also, especially if too-tall, too-short, too-plump -- have multiple pictures. You only have 1. And like I said, it has a "Come on bro, step up!" look to it. That's costing ya no matter what your height.

I am also in a good shape, I have a very fast metabolism so I don't get fat even if I wanted to. But I also work out, I run, and so I have a pretty muscular and toned shape.

Then show your body. Seriously. Works well with younger gals. did an analysis on their system's writings/responses. Guys with shirts-off did better... but once hitting 30-something, it started dropping. Point being, it's a myth that girls don't like an in-shape guy showing his in-shape body... even throwing a shirtless photo in the mix. But again, use multiple pics.

But all of it would end as soon as I would bring up "hey, do you want to be my girlfriend since we are connecting so well, etc?"

You don't say that to a girl that you're bantering with well. Doh! Regardless of your height, not cool.

"I am sorry Jeff, you are an amazing handsome guy, but you are too short. My friends will talk of this, and I will feel insecure or uncomfortable wearing my heels next to you"

That is true if she's noticeably taller than you in heels, I'm sorry. Girls don't date shorter guys. If you're about her height in her heels, you do have a chance, but usually the guy (unless popular, has $$, has known her for a long time prior, etc) will have to otherwise be at least a bit better looking than her.

What is most annoying, is that it often comes from girls who are 5'0, 5'1, shorter than me!

One of the main things is this, and it is a bit more cultural here in the US compared to Latin America, from what I hear. Also, the key point is, girls really aren't so measuring YOU against HER, when you're not shorter than she. That's just the first filter. The second natural-instant filter is measuring you against Other Guys in any given room, in society. Otherwise, gals @ 5'1" aren't going to have a problem dating a guy 5'4"-5'5", any more than a gal who's 5'7" isn't going to have a problem dating a guy 5'10"-5'11". But there is a bigger problem with the former, isn't there? The above-average height gal will date said guy at average US-white-height (5'10.5"), even though her Ideal Preference would be 6'0". That's when it's just a preference.

With most 5'1" girls, it's more than a mere preference -- it's a brick-wall filter. And yeah, some of that is Influenced by prejudice... but I think the prejudice is also fueled by social-comfort-zone. If you had a society where 5'10" was REALLY TALL, and average guy-height was 5'5" -- no, a 5'1" gal wouldn't have a problem with a guy who's 5'4"-5'5". Again, it's how you measure up against other guys, too. :)

So what do you do? Sulk? No. Sure, vent, but don't get caught up into it. Make it an incentive to get well built -- add some muscle (but don't be a fire plug). Be happy, cordial, and laid-back! Don't let it affect you. Yeah, your batting average is going to be Low. Basically, take the feasibility route, work with what you got -- and maximize everything else. Getting ticked and letting it consume you won't help you. Wear shoes that give you an extra lift (obviously can't compete with heels, but will give you an edge), put the height of yourself when in your shoes, and don't aim to swiftly pick up girls... nor be Mr Nice Guy. Just be cordial, socially network fruitfully, and opportunities will come. Also, you can hit up more Latino-oriented environments where they are Less stringent on height, and more guys closer to your height as well (which counts).
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 46
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/26/2016 2:26:45 AM
xdatcali says:

Msg 46: I'm also a short guy.


Weird ... because your profile states your height is 6' 2" (188cm).

I guess the photo is also fake, along with other info, etc.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 47
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/26/2016 5:08:22 AM
Perhaps he's 6'2" in Brazil. Or in medical school. I guess height like weigh changes :)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 48
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/26/2016 9:52:08 AM

Weird ... because your profile states your height is 6' 2" (188cm).

I guess the photo is also fake, along with other info, etc


I recall him from the past, he is actually 5.6, unknown if the pics are real, posting a false height doesn't also mean the pic is fake. I think it might be a real pic, only because the way it is taken you can't get an idea of height.

Maybe he is really 6.2 and lying about being short? :)

Who knows, more importantly, who cares? Unless I am getting married to someone, I mostly take people at face value and believe whatever they claim.

BUT I would be really surprised that lying that much about height is a good strategy to getting past the first meet.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 49
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Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/26/2016 11:50:37 AM

I have dated 5'6" and fell in love with the guy. I am 5'4" However I didn't want to have children with him in case we had a short son. I come from a family of very tall men and he would not have felt comfortable. Sounds awful but genetics play a big part in our choice of partner.

Yes, genetics do play a part - but what's horribly naive about people online is that they assume by superficial appearance ALONE that a person is going to carry the EXACT same genetics they display to their kids...

Check out a family tree once in a while - that ginger-faced red-headed step child may have come from genes passed through 4-5 generations back. That dude who's six-three may have an ocean of relatives that never broke five-eight. Gorgeous, active, young-looking people may carry genes that lead to a strong drug addiction or premature cancer in their offspring. How many couples that are pretty homely-looking have supermodels as children? How many very obese parents have a superstar athlete as a child?

Seeing one's parents gives people a pretty good idea how people will look as they age, but we're all products of the soup we call DNA. Every spoonful is different, and every spoonful creates a different flavor. For the most part, when online, we are judging the 'soup' by a couple photos alone - not by taste, smell, texture or anything else - so accuracy is never guaranteed - and Photoshop makes the odds even worse.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 50
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 10/26/2016 12:02:38 PM

genetics play a big part in our choice of partner.


Sounds awful


Yes.
It does.


I didnt want to have children with him in case we had a short son. I come from a family of very tall men and he would not have felt comfortable.


Maybe we should have been segregating people according to height instead of skin color all along.
You know, to eliminate the discomfort level.


A shorter man with a good career, money and status will do okay. i.e the neurosurgeon.


If he walks with confidence, is broad and fit and has and a certain swagger, that is attractive to some women.


Yeah, none of those silly intangibles like honesty, integrity, faithfulness, kindness, compassion, sincerity, sense of humor, etc. should have any value or consideration.
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