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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 26
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when you say your not interested?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
If the polite way fails....
It's of the the POF corner...
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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 27
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/18/2016 2:02:49 PM
Jees what is going on....can't edit
So oops!
* off to
Can't start a thread....all hell has broken loose! Damn
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 28
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 10:08:01 AM

I just do not get it? I get so many messages from guys who are not looking for something serious, when I actually am. I say I am not interested because we are looking for different things....I just look at it as if two people are not looking for the same thing no point in wasting each other's time. Then they start an all out debate. Why can't people just say thank you for your time and have a nice day?


Easy. It's because you're dealing with people who can't take rejection and have to delve deep into why you won't accept them. I'm not going to front. I used to be the same way until I realized that there plenty of fish in the sea..lol! I have been on both sides of the fence and women have a hard time dealing with rejection more so than men do and they get outright aggressive and relentless when it comes to it. At the end of the day why be with someone because you don't want to hurt their feelings? Then you're not in a happy situation.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 29
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 10:16:22 AM
I'm not going to front either. When I first began this online travesty I had to develop a thicker skin because my expectations were out of whack due to being a newbie to this whole thing.

I thought that because I'd been complimented throughout my life that THAT alone would mean I would do okay at this.


(shaking my head with a look of amusement ) ahhhhhhh..... I was so naïve back then....
 Robyn143
Joined: 7/19/2016
Msg: 30
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 10:23:36 AM
I have been on both sides of the fence and women have a hard time dealing with rejection more so than men do and they get outright aggressive and relentless when it comes to it. Dude...did you just say women have a harder time with rejection? LMAO..wow..you must have blinders on when it comes to your fellow "men". You "men" whine like little babies and throw tantrums, call names, and yet **** about getting turned down AND in the same breath **** about not getting a reply back. It is a no win situation with men like you!!
 MarsWarGod
Joined: 9/9/2016
Msg: 31
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 10:35:08 AM
The people who can't take rejection mess it up for the folks who CAN take rejection.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 32
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 10:38:30 AM
^^^^^^

What's even worse IMO :


The people who can't behave while drinking alcohol in public places like parks, the beach, etc have made it so that people who CAN behave while drinking in public places aren't allowed to....and that really SUCKS !
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/20/2016 11:23:31 AM
^^^^^ Sorry, about that.

I can get outta hand when the whiskey is flowing. Just the other night I was dancing nakey under a northern moon. But, I thought no one was around to witness it. Who the hell would be out when it's -6 and snowing?????

Silly me.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 34
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 4:53:33 AM

I have been on both sides of the fence and women have a hard time dealing with rejection more so than men do and they get outright aggressive and relentless when it comes to it. Dude...did you just say women have a harder time with rejection? LMAO..wow..you must have blinders on when it comes to your fellow "men". You "men" whine like little babies and throw tantrums, call names, and yet **** about getting turned down AND in the same breath **** about not getting a reply back. It is a no win situation with men like you!!


I'm not sure about your experience online and I'm not denying that men take being turned down harshly, but yours truly has seen first hand women get evil when you turn them down. You may not believe it (and I could care less) but it does happen. If I showed you any of the emails from ladies I turned down and their reactions your jaws will drop on the floor.

As far as getting a "reply" back, yeah once upon a time that used to bother me, but these days I just move to the next candidate. Why obsess over one person who won't answer my email when there are others who will???
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 35
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 6:10:21 AM

And the moral of the story is....

No response IS a response.


I agree. No answer is an answer. However, there are the rare situations where some are caught up in their feelings for some reason and may have more than one profile on the site. I had a guy contact me from his other profile with other pics of himself and then send me a "fk off message". Some people do not need to online date, especially if they have anger or unresolved issues, but that's just my opinion.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 36
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 6:57:01 AM

I agree. No answer is an answer. However, there are the rare situations where some are caught up in their feelings for some reason and may have more than one profile on the site. I had a guy contact me from his other profile with other pics of himself and then send me a "fk off message". Some people do not need to online date, especially if they have anger or unresolved issues, but that's just my opinion.


I think also folks have to remember that when the message someone and they don't message back, it's not necessarily something they said. It's more than likely on the receiver's end. What I notice about online dating and online dating sites is it effects people in different ways. Some either become very delusional or completely cynical. It's best to keep in mind that at the end of the day, you don't know the person you're messaging and they don't know you. Therefore why put your feelings into one person or persons who don't reply back? If you don't have thick skin and an iron will, then online dating isn't for you. Furthermore, don't just rely on one dating website. Use them all! Increase your odds. Some watering holes have very few fish in them. Don't be afraid to get better bait to lure in some fish.
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 37
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 9:05:23 AM

I think also folks have to remember that when the message someone and they don't message back, it's not necessarily something they said. It's more than likely on the receiver's end. What I notice about online dating and online dating sites is it effects people in different ways. Some either become very delusional or completely cynical. It's best to keep in mind that at the end of the day, you don't know the person you're messaging and they don't know you. Therefore why put your feelings into one person or persons who don't reply back? If you don't have thick skin and an iron will, then online dating isn't for you. Furthermore, don't just rely on one dating website. Use them all! Increase your odds. Some watering holes have very few fish in them. Don't be afraid to get better bait to lure in some fish.


I've heard that in regards to using more than one site, but the thing about that is that most of the same people will do the same and be on multiple sites. There was a paid site that I tried and when I ended that and came here I saw all of the same faces.

I'm more apt to want to meet a guy the antiquated, prehistoric way...IRL by traditional circumstances. I feel like it's more organic and the times that I have met any guy that way there has been a better connection.

However, the only part that is offsetting is where I'm at currently most times the guy is way younger (20-somethings) than me and I'm seeking long-term compatibility.
 MarsWarGod
Joined: 9/9/2016
Msg: 38
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 10:21:58 AM

Furthermore, don't just rely on one dating website. Use them all! Increase your odds. Some watering holes have very few fish in them. Don't be afraid to get better bait to lure in some fish.


Tell me about it! I joined up with POF because I kept on getting viewed by older women with an "average looks crowd" dating site I was using. Nowadays, I get the ages I am looking for.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 39
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 8:00:29 PM

I've heard that in regards to using more than one site, but the thing about that is that most of the same people will do the same and be on multiple sites. There was a paid site that I tried and when I ended that and came here I saw all of the same faces.

I'm more apt to want to meet a guy the antiquated, prehistoric way...IRL by traditional circumstances. I feel like it's more organic and the times that I have met any guy that way there has been a better connection.

However, the only part that is offsetting is where I'm at currently most times the guy is way younger (20-somethings) than me and I'm seeking long-term compatibility.


That's the drawback when you go on other sites. You run into the same people you seen on the last one. I noticed that with the previous sites I been on but then again, my area is pretty small when it comes to the online dating scene. Yours truly, before I commit to a site I do a scouting search to see what's there first before I commit to it. I find myself drawn to IRL as well because the exchange you have with the other person is in real time and you can read their body language and facial expressions. The only thing you can read in an email are just words.
 Blue_Highway
Joined: 5/11/2016
Msg: 40
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/21/2016 8:42:40 PM
Easy! No reply = not interested.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 41
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/22/2016 10:43:46 AM

I've heard that in regards to using more than one site, but the thing about that is that most of the same people will do the same and be on multiple sites. There was a paid site that I tried and when I ended that and came here I saw all of the same faces.


There can be some overlap between multiple dating sites. However having a profile doesn't necessarily equal an active user. When a person is on a paid and free site at the same time, they might be more active on the paid site and not use the free site that often. Once their membership expires and they decide not to renew it ( at least right away ), then they might spend more time on the free site. I have done this. I'm sure there are others with this approach.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 42
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/23/2016 5:50:43 PM

I get so many messages from guys who are not looking for something serious, when I actually am.


I get the opposite then they ask why the heck am I here then? People don't always read profiles and if they do, they try anyway to get attention. Never mind those people and continue to seek what you're looking for.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 43
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/24/2016 5:02:36 PM

I get the opposite then they ask why the heck am I here then? People don't always read profiles and if they do, they try anyway to get attention. Never mind those people and continue to seek what you're looking for.

You'd be surprised, tho... many gals will be not looking for anything serious on here, but you go out on a date with them and they like you, they will pretty soon enough. Basically, it's just a 1-option selection. Depending on the date prospect, many people are open to different dating pathways. If a guy were to hold himself by only sure-fire matches on the selection of type-of-relationship, he'd be limiting his opportunities.

With that said, a guy shouldn't try Romancing her online if her profile strongly suggests otherwise. Nor should he initially write her asking if she'd be up for a hook up if her profile strongly suggests otherwise by her selection & writing. That said, they can still be prospects differently than what they wrote down in the end. I don't think a guy who puts "Long Term" should be cut off from writing gals who have "Friends / No Commitment". Guys looking for Long Term can like that, too. And vice versa.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 44
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 10/24/2016 11:11:10 PM
I hear you, norwegianguy. Good post. :)


a guy shouldn't try Romancing her online if her profile strongly suggests otherwise. Nor should he initially write her asking if she'd be up for a hook up if her profile strongly suggests otherwise by her selection & writing.


Exactly. Hence the multitude of threads along the lines of..."Why don't they ever reply?" etc etc.
 Scooterz123
Joined: 10/16/2016
Msg: 45
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/8/2016 5:24:29 AM
The simple truth is that a lot of guys are on here because they have a BAD attitude and are obnoxious and opinionated and couldn't keep a woman for those very reasons. There will be some lovely genuine guys too but I myself have talked with a fair few that turned really nasty when I had to tell them I wasn't up for meeting them. I try to be as nice as possible as I don't like to hurt anyone but they come back with remarks like You must be a dyke or a **** or are plain crazy! Yeah, sure makes you know why they find themselves single. Just shrug it off and hey you just had a lucky escape so smile! Good luck with your search. Amanda.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 46
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/12/2016 2:25:45 PM
Many guys just look at pics and copy paste some lame line because they are playing a numbers game, they dont actually READ your profile. Ie: "if i write to 200 girls with an okay pic 1 or 2 has to write me back".

Those are the lazy dudes looking for fast action. Delete them quick without worry. Why sweat someone who put the least amount of effort possible into reading about you?
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 47
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/13/2016 7:53:14 AM

Many guys just look at pics and copy paste some lame line because they are playing a numbers game, they dont actually READ your profile. Ie: "if i write to 200 girls with an okay pic 1 or 2 has to write me back".

Those are the lazy dudes looking for fast action. Delete them quick without worry. Why sweat someone who put the least amount of effort possible into reading about you?




You get it! I said in another thread that most guys don't read the female profiles, and if they do read it they ignore what was written in the profile and just email the person anyway. We all know it's about pictures at the end of the day and not what someone wrote in their profile. What I found and this is from observation is that when you do meet the person behind the profile they go off the script and act all contradictory to what they wrote or how they presented themselves (subject for another thread.) .

Also, the thing folks need to understand about interest is you can write someone the most elegant, thoughtful email but if the person who receives the email doesn't reply because they're not attracted to you, it won't matter. No attraction=no response.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 48
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/13/2016 9:11:31 AM
I have received a rejection once. ONCE. I wanted to at least thank her for being polite but chose against it. There was no point. She was polite enough to state that I was not what she was looking for. Some people can take rejection. Some of us are plain used to it and expect it. No response is a response. Pretty sure OP isn't coming back here at all, but maybe it will serve another who is wondering the same thing. Polite is appreciated, but it is such a rare occurrence that it truly is better to NOT respond than to due to the @$$holes who take everything so personally. Even though it is.


I'm more apt to want to meet a guy the antiquated, prehistoric way...IRL by traditional circumstances. I feel like it's more organic and the times that I have met any guy that way there has been a better connection.


My problem with this is, my job has me ALL over the US. And it is in industrial settings. IF there were women on the job site, they typically are not physically what I find attractive. And I am not a bar fly, I don't like clubs, and a certainly am not religious (as much as my mother would love me to meet someone at church, I avoid the ones who speak of God in their profiles for this reason so as to not waste each others time). Meeting offline is very difficult for me as when I am free and home, I really just want to be home for the short while I have. Online dating is about the only way I can meet outside my circle.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 49
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when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/20/2016 2:57:40 PM
Let's ask some questions:

Are you looking for two different things because they specifically said they just want sex or something short term, or did they make the mistake of using a phrase like "hang out" which a bunch of online twits decided it means "Lets go back to my house and **** all night?"

The biggest problem is that so much rejection because the other person isn't looking for something serious is based on assumption. Do you know 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% FOR A FACT that they don't want something serious, or are you just assuming because they said something that wasn't perfect? Maybe it's a debate because you actually ARE looking for the same thing?

And on the angry rejections... More times than not, it's because of what you said, not that you're not interested. What if I was standing next to you in public and said hi, and you just responded with "sorry, not interested?" Pretty rude, isn't it? If you're going to respond, respond like a person that's socially competent. You can reject them in that first message, it's easy, but put yourself in their position before pushing send. Does it seem like it could come off as mean? If yes, you probably want to reword it. It's typically a good idea to not blame the guy, also. There's a difference between preferring taller, and him being too short. You can prefer someone to share in fitness without someone being too fat. Occasionally some guy is going to be a jerk, but when it's THAT repetitive, the common element is you.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 50
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/20/2016 3:19:20 PM
^ Please could you give an example of rejection in a first message that wouldn't sound mean?
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