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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 151
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Mercy perhaps we could tone down calling women vulgar names ( like if shes the pump what are the pumpers called)
Wanna have sex, have it. No reason to call out others
Sides just cause a Man says he banged some woman - often nothing more than wishful dreaming
wtf growing up on the farm?? LOL.
Even educated fleas do it :p
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 152
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 12:27:27 PM
Its always amazed me how much the ladies use the labels on each other. I guess its the queen bees trying to push other girls out of the group. What are the fellows who had sex with her once and then dated someone else called? Probably nothing. But the man-whores back then were called studs, I guess the name has changed since. Ah well, the youth are so focused on having sex to be like adults, and then as adults they realize sex doesn't make one an adult. Going from school in the countryside to school in the city was an eye-opener, tho...I realized why there were all the old jokes about salesmen and city slickers finding hot-to-trot farmer's daughters. But, then anywhere one grows up, there are certain issues focused on more than other issues.

Small towns also get known for their gossip. But the funny thing about gossip is, its based on a kernel of truth. The problem is it typically gets exaggerated from there.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 153
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 1:39:23 PM
I'd prefer being called the town Lamborghini
I mean no need to be common
Oh I feel the quickening!
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 154
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History
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 3:33:42 PM
This has been my outlook for a long time.....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BF9Z8ok6A

Better than thinking this......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Sv3AhJkNg
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 155
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 4:21:48 PM
Weird how the same women who scream about men controlling their uterus, cave so easily to what they merely fear is the judgment/thinking of others about what they do with their vahjayjay.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 156
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History
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 4:32:24 PM
Yes, it is. If we stop having sex after three dates, I'll be really upset. She will certainly owe me an explanation for the sudden halt.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 157
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/19/2016 7:32:29 PM
Its not about a man's judgement on me, if i cared what men wanted id be banging everyone. Its about keeping myself safe, its about having safe sex on MY term because *I* am the one with the pregnable anatomy that is more susceptible to getting a disease.

I dont hate women who have a ton of sex with random people, I pity them, because if they actually valued themselves they wouldnt play russian roullette with their health. I know something most likely happened to that woman that she has such little regard for herself. EVERYONE of my gfs that had a ton of partners survived some serious trauma in youth.

I have NEVER met a woman in all my 41 years that was happy to admitt she bangs everyone and does it solely because she likes random sex with virtual strangers. Most of them were desperately seeking love and the men hawked on them like freaking vultures. I put my judgement primarily on the men who use women like a freaking kleenex.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 158
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 5:32:08 AM

Its not about a man's judgement on me, if i cared what men wanted id be banging everyone.


Everyone???

Including those guys that "want" just a little more than a pair of legs spread out like the Grand Canyon????

Even those guys????


Not all men are looking for a simple starfish lay.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 159
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 9:38:27 AM

I have NEVER met a woman in all my 41 years that was happy to admitt she bangs everyone and does it solely because she likes random sex with virtual strangers. Most of them were desperately seeking love and the men hawked on them like freaking vultures. I put my judgement primarily on the men who use women like a freaking kleenex.


Maybe some women won't admit they like casual sex because they will be labeled as a "slut" among other things. As for men "using" women, perhaps both people got what they wanted. It's actually possible for some women to enjoy casual sex without any ulterior motives.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 160
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 12:54:59 PM
"Not all men are looking for a simple starfish lay"

Yes, they are ok if she is unconscious. "Not all men" is just bs, how dare she express her reality vs your interpolating obfuscation.

Starfish, like men are so skillful (ha)and if that is your way of calling her a prude for not going along with whatever HE wants, gotta deride her with names like prude or_______.



[I have NEVER met a woman in all my 41 years that was happy to admitt she bangs everyone and does it solely because she likes random sex with virtual strangers. Most of them were desperately seeking love and the men hawked on them like freaking vultures. I put my judgement primarily on the men who use women like a freaking kleenex.]


"Maybe some women won't admit they like casual sex because they will be labeled as a "slut" among other things. As for men "using" women, perhaps both people got what they wanted. It's actually possible for some women to enjoy casual sex without any ulterior motives."


Just projection and validating your attitude. Sex is not the same for men and women. Anatomically, one is more vulnerable, the other more detached and face fewer consequences for impulsive behavior.

The point was clear--women may like sex, but in a context of a (determined to be) safe relationship, not stranger sex that is dangerous to her health, and risky behavior. If you think any women likes that, you watch porn and have no idea about women.

The only analogy you may empathize with (maybe not ) if you are a gay bottom, being penetrated by randoms puts you at risk, even if you like sex, and that role. Being more selective or careful and protecting oneself is not an affront to dates, but it's like critiquing them as prudish for being prudent and careful about who they trust.

Somehow, any refusal by a woman means she is an uppity biatch, a prude or afraid to be called a slut. I doubt the latter. Now, prude shaming is the bigger insult, these days.

Fact is, she did not want to, as not worth the risk, nothing more than that.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 161
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 1:27:23 PM
Loveisatemple, i so admire you for calling out these arguments as the deflection pieces they are.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 162
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gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 3:42:15 PM
BBombs wrote


Nope, not first date - i distinctly stated I have brought it on a subsequent date. Maybe that's unusual for you, but I studied massage therapy, professionally, so its probably not what you are thinking. If I noticed a date I liked who was especially nice to me had tight traps, I simply thought it was a nice thing to throw them on the table and fix their back. The point is: a guy who paid 20 bucks for a meal shouldn't be complaining when he's getting a service he would otherwise have to pay a 100 for, people do acts of service for each other when they like each other and want to impress each other - its reciprocal.


That's fine, but I can see how guys could get the wrong idea...sorry. Especially if guys aren't familiar with the legitimate application of massage therapy. It's just that to many, the image of massage is kinda questionable due to the plethora of dubious operators of massage "therapy." Sorry, but it is the way it is. For me, I never realized massage therapy was a valid treatment for back pain. However, I had a revelation several years ago, and I now swear by it. I only went to a few MTs though....(digression alert)....then I bought all the rollers, balls, spikes, etc, went on Youtube and learned how to self apply.

OMG.....Worked a miracle on my 2 decade issue with lower back pain that I thought I woudl have forever. I do self-massage (get your mind out of the gutter) several times a week now, and it 90% cured my 20 year problem with back pain that MDs whiffed on. Just get those ol' hip muscles (psoas and glutes) worked out, and helped me a ton. Took a coupla years though. Traditional stretching doesn't work on these muscles if they have been tight for a long time. My back is in better shape now, in my mid 50s, than it was when I was 30. After wasting years and $$ on the traditional health industrial complex, and even traditional PTs. A revelation. There's a neat little tool called a "Theracane" that works miracles on glutes. OMG. I do it 2-3x a week. Careful with it, though....prod around with it, and you'll find hotspots that have been tight for decades, and hitting those will send you through the roof. But that's how you know you have a problem. I'm hooked on that little bugger.

If someone brought out a MT table out on the 2nd date...this is just me...I'd get my massage after the proposal. ;)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 163
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gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 3:48:41 PM


"Not all men are looking for a simple starfish lay"



Yes, they are ok if she is unconscious. "Not all men" is just bs, how dare she express her reality vs your interpolating obfuscation.


C'mon, please. So you're saying "all men" are OK looking, or would be OK to have sex with a woman who's unconscious?! Puh-leeze. Hopefully, you're being facetious here. I truly feel bad for any woman whose experience with men leads to such a cynical and bitter attitude.



Just projection and validating your attitude. Sex is not the same for men and women. Anatomically, one is more vulnerable, the other more detached and face fewer consequences for impulsive behavior.


SOme women like casual sex, though. A qualifier would be I guess it depends on the definition of "casual." To me, "casual" isn't someone who "bangs everyone and does it solely because she likes random sex with virtual strangers," though. Someone who does that, likely has had some emotional damage somewhere in her life...and may need help. However, a woman who...say...picks up and takes home a guy whose company she's enjoyed at a bar....every once in awhile....which I consider casual sex too......I doubt would be considered "damaged," and would be considered quite "normal" in today's climate.


The point was clear--women may like sex, but in a context of a (determined to be) safe relationship, not stranger sex that is dangerous to her health, and risky behavior. If you think any women likes that, you watch porn and have no idea about women.


I've known and known of some well adjusted, successful, strong women who have taken home a stranger once or twice (not necessarily me).....Some women consider it a mark of empowerment. Total overgeneralization.




 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 164
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 3:50:06 PM
I hear this completely. I got into massage therapy because i have constant back pain due to the weight of my chest. My arms were numb, i often couldn't straighten my back, i would have hours where i would scream into a pillow because the pain was so intense
Wall angels, a good therapist and the spike balls up against a wall is my only way to function while avoiding that horrid surgery. If i ever bring my massage table its because i noticed the person was in pain and i knew i could fix it. I would tell them about my education and explain
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 165
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 6:57:39 PM
[C'mon, please. So you're saying "all men" are OK looking, or would be OK to have sex with a woman who's unconscious?!

Puh-leeze. Hopefully, you're being facetious here. I truly feel bad for any woman whose experience with men leads to such a cynical and bitter attitude.]


WHEN did I say "all men"-that was my point .

"Not all men" is the interjection, when women call out bad legal judgements like getting the Stanford rapist(or other cases like it) lenient sentences--gee, "not all men rape".

We know this, and this excuses NONE that do. We are talking about the culture where "locker room talk" as Trump justifies it is A-ok, but in actuality condones a disgusting, exploitative attitude towards assaulting women.

But thanks for dismissing me as "cynical and bitter" because you cannot handle the truth that huge numbers of women (any number is bad)have been assaulted or domestically abused and the culture and judicial system takes it lightly, even in this day.

As some male posters here claim, such realities are "made up" to make "men look bad". But I won't bother responding to your ignorance after calling me bitter and cynical, and pitiable. I know my experiences are unfortunately common, and I am not going to shut up about them because you dismiss it or slur me. I don't care about your faux pity or men who think like you.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 166
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 7:08:35 PM

SOme women like casual sex......I've known and known of some well adjusted, successful, strong women who have taken home a stranger once or twice (not necessarily me).....Some women consider it a mark of empowerment. Total overgeneralization.


Yes. Many women won't have sex outside a committed relationship because they need an emotional connection. That's fine. But that doesn't mean women that do have casual sex are desperate for attention from men, have emotional problems or some other stereotype. Sometimes casual sex is simply what a woman wants at the time.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 167
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 7:30:13 PM
"Not all men" is the social equivalent of "not all white people". The point of these arguments is to deflect from the fact that ENOUGH men engage in sexism and ENOUGH white people engage in racism that its a systematic problem.

To even deny it is to reveal either sociopathy, deceitfulness or complete ignorance, NONE of which are admirable traits.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 168
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Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/20/2016 7:31:16 PM
why on earth did you even go upstairs with him in the first place, let alone let him drive you home.
You are 29 and need to have more self will and self worth. You are letting some ***hole push you around
because you felt you owe him something. As for the third date and no sex being a deal breaker, only to the guys who want sex and that is all.
 gotahubcapdiamondstarhalo
Joined: 9/21/2016
Msg: 169
gosh, doesn't the OP have anything to contribute to the discussion?
Posted: 11/20/2016 7:45:59 PM
What?

ENOUGH white people engage in racism that its a systematic problem.[


Why are you singling out "white people" for engaging in racism? I think you mean systemic problem. Better check the thesaurus again. Ask Paris.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 170
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I thought "3" was a magic number
Posted: 11/20/2016 7:53:00 PM
I thought "3" was a magic number, but it appears women AND men have a hellavalot of emotion/pride/future stakes tied up in what happens on a 3rd date. There's nothing magic about the number of dates or any date in particular. What's magic when two people actually get along and want to see each other again, unlike 99.5% of the other people they meet.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 171
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Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/20/2016 8:45:19 PM

The problem with having these sorts of discussions with men is that it's highly unlikely that you're going to get an honest viewpoint.

In more-than-nationwide forums, I disagree. It's a not a forum to hide anything, nor motive to protect anything related to "man code". You're not going to date them or anyone remotely connected to them whatsoever. That's what's great about non-local forums. Now, IRL, that certainly can be a different story. When it comes to discussions with men and they're talking in the context of "us guys", yeah, it'll be hard to get an unexaggerated or honest point of view. Of course, the same can be said with girls, too. A good chunk of it isn't so much hiding, although that depends on what exactly is being discussed. I would say many times, they're in the mindset of an ideal catch or something close to it, and applying that mentality to "how we are with the opposite sex". But if you talk to a guy who Likes you while you get lots of attention from other guys, he'll certainly express an exaggerated story about how guys are -- in the Negative direction (but him also expressing how he's one of the few good men - lol).

Exactly what do you consider Promiscuous?

I think that's a good point. Just as folks tend to stereotype too strongly saying "all men/women" are like [this], when [this] varies a lot -- many folks tend to presume everyone's more or less on the same page in drawing the line on "Promiscuous". Varying lines various people will draw, of observed common behavior:
- Sex with every person they're seeing after Only going out with them for a month or two -- which may only last 3-4 months
- Sex with people they Like after a mere handful of dates
- Sex with people they may not be so keen on future-relationship-wise, in 3 dates or less
- Sex with people without even having a Date

Maybe some women won't admit they like casual sex because they will be labeled as a "slut" among other things.

Very true. And there is truth to the notion that guys have more leeway than ladies on that, of course. Although, post-college years, guys are not out of the woods on it. They certainly will tone down their "pork history" and such to gals they intermingle with.

One key note about gals hiding things: Every survey of "how many guys/gals have you had sex with?" -- the guys' averages are Always higher than the gals. But that's basically impossible. We're not talking by decimal points. But strongly higher for guys than gals. The Average is going to be the same with equal # of people on either gender (which is basically true). For those who refute that, it's actually true:

Island of 5 gals, 5 guys. 1 guy has sex with all 5 gals. The other 4 dudes don't get squat. What's the average # of partners for guys & gals? The same. 1. Median may be different in a populated group, but the point is when you take the Average of the results, guys is usually much greater than gals -- and never has gals being > guys. This can't be true to this extent. Obviously, some people are lying. :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 172
Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/21/2016 5:26:02 AM
Bah, I figure most men exaggerate. :/
And as we get older I imagine never wed or in LTRs have more sexual partners.. I don't think that earns them any label.
Your island scene is more your fantasy LOL
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 173
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Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/21/2016 1:53:44 PM
loveis wrote:


WHEN did I say "all men"-that was my point .


Well, um..maybe I misunderstood you, but when you replied to Walts's statment of:


Not all men are looking for a simple starfish lay


with:


Yes, they are ok if she is unconscious. "Not all men" is just bs,

I...um....interpreted that as a blanket statement that "all men" would like to do that...because you said "Not all men" was BS. "All men," to me, means all men. Now, if I've misinterpreted this, which is possible, then my bad. But the way it's written, that's what I interpreted....if you want to 'splain further, I'm all eyes.

loveis wrote:


"Not all men" is the interjection, when women call out bad legal judgements like getting the Stanford rapist(or other cases like it) lenient sentences--gee, "not all men rape".

We know this, and this excuses NONE that do. We are talking about the culture where "locker room talk" as Trump justifies it is A-ok, but in actuality condones a disgusting, exploitative attitude towards assaulting women.
I thought the Stanford case was a travesty...and I hope that entitled little punk gets his due justice.....in other ways, maybe "street" justice.....would be good riddance....and I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over it. Now as far as Trump's "locker room" talk, well, we may disagree there...unlike the Stanford rape, this was just speech...but I do agree it portrays a disturbing attitude towards women. I know the women here won't agree that it's "just speech," though...However, I just don't know what to do about it, as you have to be careful with outlawing speech. But I do agree that the dialog towards women (and in general society) has coarsened over the last few decades and this should be a concern. Personally, I blame media and the internet, which has shifted cultural values away from respect and towards bombast.


But thanks for dismissing me as "cynical and bitter" because you cannot handle the truth that huge numbers of women (any number is bad)have been assaulted or domestically abused and the culture and judicial system takes it lightly, even in this day.
No, my "cynical and bitter" statement only applies to the senntiment "all men" would like to have sex with an unconscious woman. Only that. And maybe I misunderstood that. Otherwise I do share some concerns that you've outlined.


As some male posters here claim, such realities are "made up" to make "men look bad". But I won't bother responding to your ignorance after calling me bitter and cynical, and pitiable. I know my experiences are unfortunately common, and I am not going to shut up about them because you dismiss it or slur me. I don't care about your faux pity or men who think like you.

Sorry, anyone who dismisses "all men" will get push back from me....And you don't have to "shut up" about any of your opinions. I learn from opinions,experiences and sentiments of others....whether that's mistreated women, minorities, or anyone else getting a short shrift in society. After all, I'm just an entitled white dude with a bit of "white privilege" colored glasses on . I may not totally agree all the time, like this case, but it's educational.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 9/27/2016
Msg: 174
Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/21/2016 2:32:03 PM
My objection to "just speech" is that the guy was bragging about sexually assaulting women - the same guy who has THIRTEEN women now making allegations against him, some of which were children. My objection is this country is so damn retarded you need a football sized team of women going back DECADES with allegations before anyone will even consider its possible some dude is a pig, and even then, people make excuses for the crap, deny - 0r reward the pig with the highest office in the land, where he appoints other pigs who want to pass law reducing women to incubators. Look at Cosby, Epstein, Clinton, Kennedy - on and on the rich pigs get away with their crap because honestly: most people are a-okay with chauvinists, they don't regard women as actually people and so what's the big deal if a dude abuses women? Those feminist b*tches should just shut their whiney mouthes and take their dehumanization like good little slaves - that's the sentiment in this country...

As I said before: screaming "not all men" is just like screaming "not all whites" - its a "give me my cookie, pretend *I* am special". Because the reality is ENOUGH men are like this that its a long standing social phenomena, and if someone REALLY gave a crap about that their objection would not be "not all men" but rather: men who do this are turds and should be admonished. When I hear about people of color being mistreated I don't stand there saying "not all white people" because I know damn well that MANY white people ARE racist pigs and I am more interested in condemning their gross behavior then I am in needing some victim to acknowledge that I am a white skinned "exception". Only people I knew who pulled that shit were closeted racists with huge egos they wanted stroked...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 175
Is no sex after 3 dates a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/21/2016 2:49:47 PM

Bah, I figure most men exaggerate.


I agree.

Someone overheard me the other day talking about how intelligent this group of women were during a seminar I was attending.

They called me on it. :/
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