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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can i get used to a heavy smoker?      Home login  
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 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 26
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker? Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Heavy smokers tend to smell of smoke permanently. Most don't even realise. Much easier to leave them to their vice and choose someone else.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
she ain't heavy, she's my cougher
Posted: 12/6/2016 2:26:37 PM
I would guess secondhand smoke has a more immediate effect since the filter isn't at that end? The filter catches some of the bonding elements and poisons. And now I read there is third hand smoke:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/01/140130190453.htm
 ripcurl32777
Joined: 2/5/2014
Msg: 28
she ain't heavy, she's my cougher
Posted: 12/6/2016 2:49:57 PM
Yes i read some articles yesterday. second hand smoke has more poisons then first hand smoke. I never researched it. I also read that people whos parent smoked as a kid, and then the parent stopped at some point, tend to be the ones who develop a sensitivity to it. Mostly i remember being car sick all the time as a kid it was probably the smoking. we lived in big house where I wasnt completley on top of it otherwise like apartment people. Its funny how its not so common for people to get headaches from others smoking. I just asumed all the no smoking rules were because people hated the headaches but it seems to be more for people to just not breathe in the toxins. Ive actually slept in my car because hotel rooms were so smelly from smoke, or mold, maybe I am just smell sensative
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 29
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/6/2016 4:03:05 PM
Dated a few smokers ages ago. Never went to their homes, because the stench just killed me right off. Sure, they show up smelling OK, with some perfume to mask it...but after an hour, they need a smoke break, and as soon as they come back - !!!! Gum, more perfume, mouthwash --- NOT ENOUGH!

I've had buddies who smoked, but when they lit up, I walked away, and it was no big deal. A woman demands TOTAL acceptance, and usually exclusive acceptance, so if you condemn the smoke, she's written off doubly-so and explodes into "you ain't all that" mode. Ok.

Just walk away.
 openrider
Joined: 11/16/2015
Msg: 30
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:33:31 AM
the way I see it is if you drive a car you should,nt knock smoker,s.What comes out of your exhuast is far worse than a cigarette by far
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:56:08 AM
^^^And I doubt the story that he can smell cigarette smoke from another person's car. I think what's happening is when he sees a person in another car who is smoking, his mind is triggering the smell, instead of the smell somehow going from the inside of another person's car to his. He's the only person I heard of who claims they can pick up smells from the inside of other vehicles on the road. I wonder if he would be able to smell it if he didn't see the other person smoking.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 32
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 10:14:20 AM

Dated a few smokers ages ago. Never went to their homes, because the stench just killed me right off. Sure, they show up smelling OK, with some perfume to mask it...but after an hour, they need a smoke break, and as soon as they come back - !!!! Gum, more perfume, mouthwash --- NOT ENOUGH!

I've had buddies who smoked, but when they lit up, I walked away, and it was no big deal. A woman demands TOTAL acceptance, and usually exclusive acceptance, so if you condemn the smoke, she's written off doubly-so and explodes into "you ain't all that" mode. Ok.


I can definitely relate to that. People say they're not addicted but need a smoke break after an hour. I've always looked at smoking as a sign of emotional problems. People that are thriving with life instead of coping with life generally don't smoke. The last time I dated a smoker was over 10 years ago and I'll never do it again.



^^^And I doubt the story that he can smell cigarette smoke from another person's car. I think what's happening is when he sees a person in another car who is smoking, his mind is triggering the smell, instead of the smell somehow going from the inside of another person's car to his. He's the only person I heard of who claims they can pick up smells from the inside of other vehicles on the road. I wonder if he would be able to smell it if he didn't see the other person smoking.


I think it's possible if they both have their windows down or if the person is purposely blowing the smoke out the window. I teach music lessons and I can tell if the kid comes from a family that smokes because the guitar or cello case has a lingering smell on it.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 33
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 11:08:22 AM

I can definitely relate to that. People say they're not addicted but need a smoke break after an hour. I've always looked at smoking as a sign of emotional problems.


Sorry but this is a major crock of sh1t. Emotional problems? Here's the story of a lot of smokers. Youre 16 or 17, trying to look grown -up or cool or fit in and you light up. You keep lighting up and guess what nicotine is extremely addiciting. Fast forward a ton of years the habit has taken hold and not only is nicotine hooked your ass but you use smoking as a social break and a stress crutch. Then add to the fact every time you quit you pick up about 30 or 50 pounds. It's not a sign of emotional problems. Its the result of a bad decision made long ago that is tough to undo. By the way few smokers will tell you they are not addicited. If they say they are not they are lying.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 34
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 11:15:26 AM

Sorry but this is a major crock of sh1t. Emotional problems? Here's the story of a lot of smokers. Youre 16 or 17, trying to look grown -up or cool or fit in and you light up. You keep lighting up and guess what nicotine is extremely addiciting. Fast forward a ton of years the habit has taken hold and not only is nicotine hooked your ass but you use smoking as a social break and a stress crutch. Then add to the fact every time you quit you pick up about 30 or 50 pounds. It's not a sign of emotional problems. Its the result of a bad decision made long ago that is tough to undo. By the way few smokers will tell you they are not addicited. If they say they are not they are lying.


So it's a crock because you say so? My grandfather died from lung cancer and it only took him 2-3 days to quit after smoking for 60 years. He had to quit because he simply couldn't breathe anymore. It's an emotional addiction just as much as it is a physical addiction to nicotine. You're not going to gain 50 pounds when you quit unless you move like a sloth and eat more calories than your body requires. Everyone made bad decisions when they were young, but most don't keep them up for their whole life. Also, not everyone starts smoking when they're 16 and making dumb choices. Some people are actually coping with life instead of thriving and they tend to smoke and drive heavily. Emotional problems can cause all sorts of addictions from cigarettes to overeating.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 35
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 11:24:54 AM


He's the only person I heard of who claims they can pick up smells from the inside of other vehicles on the road


Now you've heard of at least 3.

I often can smell the horrible stench of other drivers' cigarettes. They tend to have their windows open. Even when my windows are closed, the smoke enters through vents.

I can smell a cigarette from over 500 feet away, typically too far away to see the cigarette, refuting the claim it's psychological from seeing the smoker.

Ideally there would be a ban on all outdoor smoking. In cars, smokers should have all windows closed (and use ashtrays instead of the typical smoker action of flicking cigarettes out the window). In their home, they should have all windows closed. I remember an old MAD Magazine feature by Al Jaffe showed an invention in which smokers walked around within bubbles that trapped all the smoke.

Secondhand smoke causes immediate damage to the circulatory and respiratory systems of non smokers. One molecule of cigarette smoke constricts arteries and lungs.

Third hand smoke indeed causes damage. Furniture from a home that had smokers can retain the poisons for decades.

I would never get used to an occasional / light smoker.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 36
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 12:16:07 PM

So it's a crock because you say so? My grandfather died from lung cancer and it only took him 2-3 days to quit after smoking for 60 years. He had to quit because he simply couldn't breathe anymore. It's an emotional addiction just as much as it is a physical addiction to nicotine. You're not going to gain 50 pounds when you quit unless you move like a sloth and eat more calories than your body requires.


No it is a crock because its a crock. It is physically addiciting.....read. it is one of the 5 most additing drugs on the planet. Having a relative die of lung cancer doesn't make you an expert. I know what I experience. I am not voicing my opinion by observing others.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-5-most-addictive-drugs-in-the-world-a6924746.html

I didnt say quitting is impossible. I quit for a few years. I quit mainly because of the cost but you know what not only am I addicted to nicotine, I enjoy the hell out of smoking. A cigarette while having a beer, a cigarette after food, a cigarette after sex....its all good. I don't smoke because of any emotional problems. I smoke because I enjoy it, nicotine is addicitng and because it has become a habital part of my routines. Emotional problems? Yes a crock of sh1t.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 37
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 12:22:39 PM
I am a reformed heavy smoker of quite a few years now....I could not date a smoker now.
I have become highly sensitive to the odor.....no...not allergic (as many say).. just don't like it.
There are smokers that don't reek of it but then there are others that do...depending on what they are wearing or if their home is smoke free...etc..

Yes, I can attest that a smoker does not smell the odor as a non smoker would.
I can also say it is an addiction....some can quit easier than others....took me a few attempts before "I" got serious about it.
I really enjoyed it.
Smoking doesn't make you irresponsible about life.
No...smokers are not low achievers in life....what nonsense!
There are many famous people that were smokers...past, present and future.....

I would say...It's your call..
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 38
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/7/2016 1:01:49 PM
I used to work with smokers who claimed a smoke break relaxed them. I tried to explain nicotine isn't a depressant but a stimulant, that getting away from the ***hole causing them stress, relaxed them.

My father tried everything to give up smoking, then did it for my first birthday b/c he couldn't imagine what else to get a baby. Some people can give it up quick, some can only smoke while drinking at a bar, and some are addicted for life. Addiction is as different as the brains it grabs ahold of.

I have to agree, if smoking was done by low achievers, then soldiers in the 1940's wouldn't have beat Hitler, rocket scientists wouldn't have gotten us to the moon while puffing on something with a similar shape, etc etc. the Greatest Generation lit up a lot.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 39
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/8/2016 12:30:16 PM

No it is a crock because its a crock. It is physically addiciting.....read. it is one of the 5 most additing drugs on the planet. Having a relative die of lung cancer doesn't make you an expert. I know what I experience. I am not voicing my opinion by observing others.


Sorry, but saying something is a crock doesn't make it a "crock". Calling a lion a tiger doesn't make it a tiger either. So what if there are elements of physical addiction? That doesn't mean there can't also be psychological addictions too. People wouldn't be able to quit cold turkey like my family members did after a lifetime of smoking if it was an extreme physical addiction.


I didnt say quitting is impossible. I quit for a few years. I quit mainly because of the cost but you know what not only am I addicted to nicotine, I enjoy the hell out of smoking. A cigarette while having a beer, a cigarette after food, a cigarette after sex....its all good. I don't smoke because of any emotional problems. I smoke because I enjoy it, nicotine is addicitng and because it has become a habital part of my routines. Emotional problems? Yes a crock of sh1t.



You enjoy it because you're psychologically addicted to the act of smoking and emotionally dependent upon it. Being in denial doesn't refute that. Smoking just takes away the feelings of nicotine withdrawal. You wouldn't need to engage in unhealthy behaviours if you had no emotional problems. That's just as stupid as saying I'm addicted to cutting my arms but I have no emotional problems, I just enjoy the hell out of it. You're calling it a crock because you're in denial and you won't accept any information that's contrary to your confirmation bias.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 40
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/8/2016 2:00:37 PM

^^^And I doubt the story that he can smell cigarette smoke from another person's car. I think what's happening is when he sees a person in another car who is smoking, his mind is triggering the smell, instead of the smell somehow going from the inside of another person's car to his. He's the only person I heard of who claims they can pick up smells from the inside of other vehicles on the road. I wonder if he would be able to smell it if he didn't see the other person smoking.


I'm a long time reformed smoker and I can attest that one's sense of smell for cigarette smell on other people/items increases dramatically after you quit. I can smell smoke from another car when the smoker blows the smoke out the window and s/he's in front of me. That just happened the other day. It happens.

As far as dating a smoker, well, I kinda had the same outlook as other bad habits...ie, heavy drinking, piercings/tattoos etc. etc. If she was hot, who cares.....but short term only. Actually, back when all I was looking for was a good time, I didn't mind smoking women at all as it seemed they had more...let's say....joie de vivre...after all cigs are a good accompaniment for coffee, alcohol, food and sex...all fun activities...and one begets the other :)

But for serious/LTR, no way.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 41
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/9/2016 4:50:07 AM
Hmm........ well if it does not bother you now as friends, what changes if you are in a relationship? A relationship is a friendship on fire.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 42
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/10/2016 7:07:23 AM
I had a parent who suffered from several health issues due to smoking. He eventually die from throat cancer from smoking that spread to his liver.

As a person who is serious about finding a long term relationship, I would not consider dating anyone whom I would not consider marrying. Then have to break it off later, after feelings became serious.

I take excellent care of myself, and seek the same in a partner.

If my mate had health issues that they did not bring upon themselves with age, I would be most compassionate.

But I couldn't deal with the self induced health problems that would surely arise down the road because my partner selfishly chose to smoke. Or to engage in other self destructive habits.

I would not consider dating a partner who promised to try to quit. I know how that almost always goes....
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/10/2016 9:40:39 AM
I had a FWB relationship with an occasional smoker. That wasn't a major problem. She didn't smoke around me and her breath wasn't bad. However I would not have a serious relationship with a heavy smoker. That person would often smell like smoke even when they aren't smoking at that particular moment.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 44
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 5:41:11 AM
When I pull up to a light I can smell someone's cigarette in another car when the windows are up on both, so no he isn't bullshitting with that one.

She isn't going to quit if she didn't when she was ill. So if you stay with her it is going to be a huge adjustment for you and you potentially watching her health decline more quickly because she's smoking. And seriously, grow a set and tell her your issues. Who knows, you could be the catalyst for her at least trying to give them up.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 45
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 7:49:51 AM

My grandfather died from lung cancer . . .


Everyone's grandfather died of something. Water seems to be the common link.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 46
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 8:14:58 AM

When I pull up to a light I can smell someone's cigarette in another car when the windows are up on both, so no he isn't bullshitting with that one.


Which smell is worse when beside another vehicle-the cigarette or if the driver in the other car farts?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 8:55:22 AM
lack of oxygen to the brain, b/c the heart stops pumping blood to it, is the most common cause of grandparents passing away. Meanwhile I was thinking about this post while driving b/c while I can set up my truck to not take in outside air (ie, recirculate), apparently setting the vent function to the floor so it isn't on my hands shuts off that restriction, b/c a diesel truck passed me in the other lane and it was like I had the window open. if other people have a vehicle that also opens the floor vents to the outside regardless of pushing in the "Recirculate" button, I guess that's how they are smelling whatever's outside the vehicle.

ok, back to thinking about other things :)
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 48
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 10:29:02 AM

Emotional problems? Yes a crock of sh1t.


Depends how narrow your definition of 'emotional' is.

There is definitely an emotional attachment to addictive processes such as smoking. Declaring any view that upsets your feelings about smoking as "a crock of sh1t" is a strong emotional response in itself.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 49
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/13/2016 3:47:28 PM
cookymaker

I had a boyfriend who would smoke on the balcony or outside and he was every half hour. I could cope with that but not his binge drinking and chronic gambling. Nicotine addiction is deadlier than other drugs but is acceptable because the government rakes in excise duties on cigarettes to the tune of millions. Same with alcohol. I find those that smoke are often heavy drinkers as well and that I couldnt deal with and wouldnt.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 50
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Can i get used to a heavy smoker?
Posted: 12/14/2016 7:00:00 AM

There is definitely an emotional attachment to addictive processes such as smoking. Declaring any view that upsets your feelings about smoking as "a crock of sh1t" is a strong emotional response in itself.


Doesn't upset my feelings about smoking. I completely understand how others feel about it and always do my best not to expose people to my smoke. I also will make efforts to quit because of the financial and health effects. What I was calling a crock of sh1t was the statement that people who smoke have "emotional problems". I happen to believe that saying if a person smokes he or she has emotional problems is a crock of sh1t. Emotional attachment...yes. addictive attachment...yes. Do I smoke because I am pibolar, depressed or any other emoitional problem?...no. I smoke because when I was 17 my friends did and I thought it was cool.
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