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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 1 month again returns but does he want to date me?      Home login  
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 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 376
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Pickled and shackledPage 16 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
You've got the picture.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 377
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 5:30:25 PM

He cut the date off after 1 hour (not a long date) -- because he had to get home to wash his hair... errr, skype his brother. :)

Now, he could be telling the truth. If we saw a video of all of this, we'd have a better idea -- but it could still be up in the air.

So it was Good you asked him if he'd like to go out again. It was Great that he responded "Sure, I will message you." Great. The ball's in HIS court, not yours (phew).

At this point -- unless he was expressing Clear Interest in you during the coffee date and going out of his way that he was Not cutting it off as an excuse and would love to see you again -- you assume he likely has a lack of interest, and you go about your merry way as if the date never happened. Ball's in his court anyway!

So NO, you don't reach out to him. He said HE'D message YOU. You don't do anything, nor have to do anything. If he doesn't text you today/tonight at all, pretty much count on him never really doing so. If he doesn't text you by Wednesday at all, him even being a thought in your mind would be too much. Like I said, go on your merry way, as if you didn't have the date, starting Now. :)

You shouldn't Want to reach out to him. If he takes forever to reach out to you or not at all -- he's not interested. The answer's already there. It's much like writing someone online and they're not writing back. You don't write them again. The ball's in his court. Don't hold your breath. Only think/worry about it IF/when he ever texts or calls ya. Until then, fish fish fish. :)


Alright then. What about any new guys, if one messages me on the dating site and we exchange numbers, and talk, who should be the one to ask the other out, or does it not matter?
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 378
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 6:08:58 PM
Ho. Ly. Fuk.

Roll the cart this way, sun, please and thanks.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 379
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 6:16:56 PM
Yes please
All I can figure is Nat miking her replies to write a book that will never be published
Gosh I hope their are cashews on the drink cart
waiting for a white night to save Nat
counting down, 3, 2 1 Tiger
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 380
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Chill to the Next Episode
Posted: 1/9/2017 6:20:54 PM

He cut the date off after 1 hour

Honestly - you are ahead of the game. Most first-meets only last long enough for someone to check their text messages and slip out on a lame excuse. If you held this guy's attention for a full hour - that's a GOOD result.

Does he want to date you again? Unknown, and I'd say wait until Friday NOON before drawing any conclusions. If he hasn't asked you out or set a time by Friday NOON - he's either not interested or too scared to date - either way, it means YOU will have to do the pursuing, just like with the lame-o car guy.

It's OK to pursue a guy. So on Friday, YES - you can contact him again and ask him out. Here's where it's tricky....you have GOT to have a plan. Decide what you want, even if it's just another simple coffee date. The objective is to get him to show up. Ask him to do something simple at any time NOON to 6pm on Saturday. If he declines - forget him. If he accepts - you're good to go. That's all there is to it.

And get this - YOU will be on a date while these other gals are still cat-fighting.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 381
Chill to the Next Episode
Posted: 1/9/2017 6:27:15 PM
Nah, no cat fighting here.

So long as sun passes that damn cart.
 Kj521
Joined: 11/16/2016
Msg: 382
Chill to the Next Episode
Posted: 1/9/2017 6:28:49 PM
"And get this - YOU will be on a date while these other gals are still cat-fighting."


Mr. Aintnodeal? Projected fantasies don't always come true. Sucks.....doesn't it? ;)
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 383
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My Little Drinking Game
Posted: 1/9/2017 7:09:32 PM
*gives cart hearty shove in direction of Mz Informed*

*tosses bag of cashews to Ouija*

*gives LadyInRed her own paper bag*


 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 384
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 7:26:54 PM

I had a BRAND NEW DATE with a NEW GUY today and it went really well. Now we wait and see what happens with this guy next. If I do not hear from him, then I will accept that and move on.



It's now Monday and no response from him at all. Should I continue waiting to hear from him, or should I contact him or what to do from this point in the dating process


Please, for the love of God .....see below.


If I do not hear from him, then I will accept that and move on
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 385
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 7:36:00 PM
*eases cart Nancy's way*
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 386
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My Little Drinking Game
Posted: 1/9/2017 8:13:22 PM




In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 387
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 8:30:38 PM

eases cart Nancy's way


Oh Mz.... you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Gimme Vodka, Valium, a pillow, therapy, Markus's personal phone number, Mark Zukergerg's address, NASA, ...whatever it takes to save me from a second breakdown.

No Wait!! My fault for reading and responding but it's too addictive...I can't help myself!!!
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 388
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 9:56:45 PM
Aussiebythebay- To you and everybody that posted since my last comment.
I am actually up late tonight and drinking. Not drunk, but buzzed for sure.
What can I say, my old screen name was bamagrl68, I just got done watching the national championship, bummer, so yeah a drink or 3 is called for ;)
Seriously though, thank you all for setting me straight.
Those who knew me when I was using bamagrl know it's NOT like me to behave in such a way.
People can bait you, but it's up to me to take the bait.
AS I said, I'm done with it.
Be nice to me, Bama lost, I'm NOT happy. (joking people, kind of).
Those of you willing to set me straight are WHY I came back here.
Life REALLY is good, even if Bama lost. (dag um it). :D
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 389
Chill to the Next Episode
Posted: 1/9/2017 10:54:42 PM

Norwegian:
You shouldn't Want to reach out to him. If he takes forever to reach out to you or not at all -- he's not interested. The answer's already there. It's much like writing someone online and they're not writing back. You don't write them again. The ball's in his court. Don't hold your breath. Only think/worry about it IF/when he ever texts or calls ya. Until then, fish fish fish. :)



Aintnodeal:
It's OK to pursue a guy. So on Friday, YES - you can contact him again and ask him out. Here's where it's tricky....you have GOT to have a plan. Decide what you want, even if it's just another simple coffee date. The objective is to get him to show up. Ask him to do something simple at any time NOON to 6pm on Saturday. If he declines - forget him. If he accepts - you're good to go. That's all there is to it.


Nat has two conflicting opinions here. I think she should pick Door Number One: Don't contact him. The ball is in his court, but don't hold your breath. Keep fishin'.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 390
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/9/2017 11:47:57 PM

It's OK to pursue a guy.

It is, but after the guy was leaving to Skype his bro -- and had to be questioned as to whether they'll see each other again -- and him saying "I'll contact you".... he's putting the ball in His Court. Plus, he's a guy. So no, she's Not in position to pursue him. At all. With that said, there's no real Harm in pursuing him if he has Zero social connections to her, sure. But the key is her expectations: He set it up where HE'LL contact her... where his interest is in question. If he's not going to contact her within 3 days, he has insufficient interest, period. One shouldn't have to chase someone to even contact them when they said they would -- right? As you point out, 1 hour's not bad for a coffee-shop-level date. But it doesn't mean there's sufficient interest. It means there Could be. One shouldn't get Excited that a coffee shop level date lasted a (gasp) hour and the other had to run home to skype their sibling, and when put on the spot if they were interested in seeing each other again they said "yes" and that they'd contact them some time.

Ball's in that guy's court. Unless someone in OP's position has an emotional iron mask for rejection and chasing, etc -- don't waste your time having to chase them when they said They'll call you upon leaving (after being asked if they could go out again).

Alright then. What about any new guys, if one messages me on the dating site and we exchange numbers, and talk, who should be the one to ask the other out, or does it not matter?

The situation at the end of your coffee-shop date is pretty unisexual -- it's one person saying They'll contact the Other. That's clear-cut. What you refer to here now, is different. By default, the wind blows toward the guy to ask the gal out, but actually, it can go both ways. If the guy is liking to be a chatty-cathy, the gal can drum up the idea to go out sometime. Sometimes it's a Mutual thing, and no one person formally asks another out -- they can sometimes just feed off each other. Kind of like one party Not getting all the credit for choosing the exact coffee shop to meet. So you don't have to formally ask anyone out -- you can bring up the idea in conversation to get together some time. You can get it out of the way by throwing out the idea if the guy's slow on the draw and just wanting to chit-chat. :)
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 391
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 12:19:03 AM

It's now Monday and no response from him at all. Should I continue waiting to hear from him, or should I contact him or what to do from this point in the dating process.


Ah, come on Nataly - seriously?! You've been dating on and off for years, managed four relationships and two engagements and you still need to be told what to do here?

If he hasn't been messaged yet after a couple of days, odds on that he's not going to. Even in the movies, "I'll call you..." or "we'll be in touch" generally means that you haven't got the gig. By all means, follow up at the end of the week, but don't be surprised if you don't get a reply or you get rebuffed.

This is really a very common theme for you and each time you don't seem to see that there are two people on a meet and that your part contributes to its conclusion. Maybe it's time you took my suggestion to consider taking six months off from all of it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 392
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 4:12:17 AM
Change your game plan Nat. Contact him, invite him to go out and say "It's my treat". As long as you keep playing the game of: "I'm old fashion and traditional, which means the guy always pays for everything and it will never cost me a dime to go on dates", you're going to run into guys who won't play your game. They'll just see you as a meal whore.

And if you tell them that your life long goal is to be a stay-at-home wife who never works outside of the home, and you want to be financially supported by a husband, plus you're saving your virginity until marriage, it's no wonder guys are not lining up to get on board with that deal. What is the guy getting out of the deal if he's obligated to pick you up and drop you off, and pay for everything on every date? Would he even get a peck on the cheek for that, or are you saving that too?
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 393
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 1:35:08 PM
Thanks but no thanks. I am NOT going to take a break from dating or being on the dating app's or websites. I like being on them and I like to date whenever I have one. As far as this guy I went on a date with, I cut ties with him since he hadn't contacted me. So I will move on and find someone else. As far as askign who out, in regards to a NEW GUY, I will see if the guy asks me out. If I don't hear anything I will toss that idea out and see where it goes. As of RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I am talking to a new guy and I am going to see what happens next.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 394
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 1:37:57 PM
If the guy in question has to do all of that, him and I could go out once a month then it wouldn't be much of an issue. If we were to go out on a date every week or everyday or every other day, then I can see an issue. I do have money because I am working now, so I can pay for a date or two or offer to pay for gas or offer to spend the night o spend less time on the driving portion of the date or whatever.

The guy is getting a women that is accepting of him, for who he is. She is loving, caring, will be loyal, faithful, never cheat. She wants him and only him and he wants her for her. They both will love and care for one another through thick and thin plain and simple.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 395
My Little Drinking Game
Posted: 1/10/2017 2:01:43 PM
She spots the paper bag, squeezes the middle with one hand, as she gives the top a twist, with the other, takes a few gulps,
"Whew! I needed that! Thanks Sun" .........then flips open new red foldin' camp chair, plops her hiney down, and stares as...................
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 396
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 2:36:12 PM

Just ask him...no need to ask strangers on here

Yeah, but she basically did as her date wound down. He said he'll contact her some time.

Answer: No, no need to ask again.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 397
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 1/10/2017 3:20:44 PM

If the guy in question has to do all of that, him and I could go out once a month then it wouldn't be much of an issue. If we were to go out on a date every week or everyday or every other day, then I can see an issue. I do have money because I am working now, so I can pay for a date or two or offer to pay for gas or offer to spend the night o spend less time on the driving portion of the date or whatever.


Once a month might be an issue for them, especially if you spend all day and night messaging and expecting replies straight away. Most people want to see a date at least once a week, maybe twice. Once a month is acquaintances.


The guy is getting a women that is accepting of him, for who he is. She is loving, caring, will be loyal, faithful, never cheat. She wants him and only him and he wants her for her. They both will love and care for one another through thick and thin plain and simple.


If only once a month, that is.

I strongly advise you consider building up your base before continuing with this sort of endeavour. As far as I can see, nothing has changed from 2016. You're still living in fantasy land and surely you must know by now that it isn't getting you anywhere.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 398
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 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 399
Virtual Baseball, Because I'm Too Drunk For More Drinking Game
Posted: 1/11/2017 1:39:06 PM
I don't care what any of you say or think of me. I am going to live my life the way I want too. I will find a guy to accept me for me and wants to be with me. I know he is out there for me and I will find him.
 foxyphillyoo
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 400
Virtual Baseball, Because I'm Too Drunk For More Drinking Game
Posted: 1/11/2017 2:46:57 PM
My grandson told me, "THAT'S A MAN!" Called them "tranny"? What's a tranny? Granny spelled wrong?
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