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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 1 month again returns but does he want to date me?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 26
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?Page 2 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Sweet baby Jesus...Rain? You didn't go on a date because there was rain in the forecast? I live in the Seattle area. If we didn't date when it rained life would come to a screeching halt!

You seriously couldn't find something to do inside? Lunch? A movie? Bowling?

Honestly, I think you gave him the impression you were not interested. You started with the rain excuse and shooting down his attempts to plan something. Now you don't want to chase him. I think you killed your chances.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 8:54:28 AM

OP: I dated this one guy for 1 month, but things didn't work out between us.


Did you change something to make sure it would work out this time? You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over and over...



Are you able to drive in the rain or you rather not take a chance


He might see this as an insult, since you're questioning his ability to handle a vehicle in less than perfect weather. If someone said that to me, I would say: "You're right. I'm terrified of driving in the rain, so maybe you should do the driving and pick me up." Did you tell him beforehand your fear of rain, and melting away if you get caught in rain? But then you followed it up with excuses of why it's a bad idea to go out regardless of the weather.

He suggested watching a movie at your place if you didn't want to go out in the rain, but you blew that off too without countering with something else. So tell us why he SHOULD call you? If I'm trying to arrange a date with someone, and she comes up with excuse after excuse why we can't or shouldn't get together, the last thing I'm going to do is keep pursuing it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 28
anything a month old should get thrown out anyway.
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:04:15 AM
"You seriously couldn't find something to do inside?"

>>>I'm sure he could, but she's saving that for marriage.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 29
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:09:06 AM

Me : "I heard it was going to rain this weekend. lol"


" ME: "My phone says it will rain sometime this weekend unless it's lying lol."

ME: "Okay lol."





Maybe he finds it annoying when someone puts an "lol" after each sentence ?
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 30
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:39:32 AM
Unless youre planning an outdoor date, what should the weather matter? It has to be sunny for him to come over and watch a movie?
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 31
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 10:02:53 AM
I live at home with my family remember and they don't feel comfortable having the person I am dating at their home especially us just starting dating and us doing a movie night at my family's place won't happen. As far as us doing something else during that rainy weekend, 1 it was Thanksgiving holiday weekend, 2 Black Friday weekend, so the malls, movie theaters, were swarmed with people left and right. I wanted him and I to go to a Christmas Parade on that Sunday the 27th but he said it was raining bad in his area and while he can drive in the rain, it was raining too hard that he could drive and end up in an accident. So yes driving in the rain can be dangerous and risky too.

As far as the follow-up date, neither of us mentioned setting up a date because I thought he would set it up but he never said anything and I never said anything so nothing was said. To me, if he was truly interested in me, he would say something but since he isn't talking he isn't interested or is too busy. He does work 12 hour days Monday through Friday and 4 hour days on Saturdays and Sundays off.

In regards to him and I and why we stopped dating he had told me this, "It wasn't you. I just had a lot of personal problems. I was having trouble dealing. I'm sorry about that. But I genuinely would like to try again. You're a very sweet girl."
 GreatGal1977
Joined: 8/25/2016
Msg: 32
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 10:09:40 AM
How can he come over to her place? She lives with her parents. Something tells me that they might not be too happy about him coming over, lol.
Raining is just an excuse, Natalie doesn't know how to explain him to her parents. What would she say? "Mom, dad, there is a guy, whom I only met four times in person, who wants to come over. Remember, the one who stood me up on my birthday. Mom, you better clean up the house."
 GreatGal1977
Joined: 8/25/2016
Msg: 33
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 10:10:45 AM
Opps, didn't see Natalie's post.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 34
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 10:42:48 AM
So you weren't interested in going to the mall or movies because of crowds, but you were willing to go to a parade in Hollywood? That seems like it would be huge crowds as well, and a **** to find parking. Not to mention there was NO rain on that parade. I have a friend that was down there that weekend. I saw a dozen or so photos from the Hollywood Christmas parade. No rain. A little cool, but dry.

Excuses Nat. You find excuses and expect him to chase you. You need to change your ways! You need to put effort in to life and dating. Seriously, life is takes participation!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 2:05:39 PM
Yeah, I guess I can go along with the parental units not wanting a stranger, and the holiday crowds. That's valid, but it also brings up the age old question about working to have "things" in life. I moved out at age 18, worked my days off to have my own place and no roomates. That made company easier. Its a pain to have to own things, but that makes them your things, so you get "say" over them. A friend's daughter wants daddy to pay for her wedding, but complains that Daddy has shot down all her ideas for how "her day" should go and where.

well...its his money. He gets to dictate how its spent. She had seven years of cohabitation to raise the money herself to spend it any way she wanted.
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 36
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 2:08:02 PM
I still can't get my head around using rain as an excuse to NOT go on a date or to cancel one.


So yes driving in the rain can be dangerous and risky too.


It seems you both don't like the idea of rain. Forgive me but what a load of shiit. Driving can be dangerous and risky at all times; day or night, rain or sunshine, city or country roads. What if it starts to rain during your date? Would you get a bus or a taxi home? I seriously don't understand that mind set.


So you weren't interested in going to the mall or movies because of crowds, but you were willing to go to a parade in Hollywood?


Good point, Pluto.

I do, however, understand the not watching a movie at her parents house. That's fair enough in the early stages of dating. BUT, as one poster pointed out, what about a coffee shop or bowling or even a quiet table in a corner somewhere at a pub? (I know Natalie doesn't drink but you don't have to drink alcohol at a pub / Bistro.)

As another poster pointed out....he said he'd be actually quite flattered if a girl was more assertive than he to organise a date.

Oh well; everyone is different though but I do encourage you, Natalie, to step out of your comfort zone and show initiative. It takes two to participate.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 37
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 3:10:09 PM

... what about a coffee shop or bowling or even a quiet table in a corner somewhere at a pub? (I know Natalie doesn't drink but you don't have to drink alcohol at a pub / Bistro.)


That would involve spending money. Nataly doesn't do spending money. Unless it's someone else's.


"You seriously couldn't find something to do inside?"

>>>I'm sure he could, but she's saving that for marriage.


The more I wonder about it, the more I think that this might have been closer to his intentions (gets dumped by the girl he made his excuses to Nataly for, then feels an ache in his pants that needs sorting. Him: "hey, I wonder whether that kooky girl will put out at last?"). Yeah, makes sense.

Unless she bothers to find out, she'll never know. Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe she likes the attention and pity she gets from being an eternal victim?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 38
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 4:29:26 PM

The more I wonder about it, the more I think that this might have been closer to his intentions (gets dumped by the girl he made his excuses to Nataly for, then feels an ache in his pants that needs sorting. Him: "hey, I wonder whether that kooky girl will put out at last?"). Yeah, makes sense.


Yup. Still...it's not the 1st date, they met before, so meeting again shouldn't be such a friggin' hassle. Again...she threw a mega-tantrum after he didn't show for her birthday. That should be reason enough to block his number and never talk to him again. Really, he was not around when it counts, why would you expect him to show up at any other time? Additionally, he said he had a ton of problems....not the type of guy you should be dating.

I dunno....maybe she's hot for the smell of his new car...??? Maybe he got some skeepskin seat covers...? I dunno. Dating in the 21st century...why do people make it so hard? All you have to do is show up. You both will be on your cell phones 99% of the time, anyway, ignoring each other's texts.

I have no suggestions at all - OP is a BOSS-LEVEL at self-destruction and sabotaging dates. I don't think an MMO champion could knock some sense into her. Remember DARTH VADER? He didn't play well, either. It is your....destiny.
 sticchic
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 39
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 4:44:35 PM
Natalie's first post here, referring to what "other people say" about her in dating profiles: https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16548436.aspx


"Are you a man?" "Do you have a penis?" "Are you a guy or a girl?" "Are you trans?" "Sorry if I offend you, but are you transgender?" "Why do you look like a man" "You have very strong features". "Your body looks very muscular you must be a man" etc.


She doesn't want TO DATE, NOR want anyone to "see" her naked because they will find the "surprise."

Pre-OP trans!
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 40
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 5:22:21 PM
Call/text or not
=== who really gives a rat's azz
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 41
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/7/2016 5:32:21 PM

No, I heard guys don't like being chased, they back off and find that the girl is bothering them too much...


And you know this from experience?

"...bother then too much..."
That's right... you don't understand moderation or compromise.

You'll have an awfully long wait with the rules you've laid out, your lack of any progress towards maturity, and your non-communication style.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 42
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/7/2016 7:01:41 PM

Nancybythebay
I still can't get my head around using rain as an excuse to NOT go on a date or to cancel one.



It seems you both don't like the idea of rain. Forgive me but what a load of shiit. Driving can be dangerous and risky at all times; day or night, rain or sunshine, city or country roads. What if it starts to rain during your date? Would you get a bus or a taxi home? I seriously don't understand that mind set.



I am 65 years old, soon to be 66. Some would call me old and feeble. But if a woman I had the hots for invited me to come see her, rain would NOT be a deterrent. Torrential rains would not even be noticed. Street flooding would be a minor inconvenience.

A tsunami might slow me down, force me to seek out an alternate route. But by god, I would get there or die trying!

I’m just saying…

On Edit: Of course, absolutely NONE of this applies to a woman who is “saving it for marriage”.

“yeah, I’m afraid there might be a drizzle tomorrow, so I’m going to stay home.”
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 43
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/7/2016 8:43:33 PM

He does work 12 hour days Monday through Friday and 4 hour days on Saturdays and Sundays off.


(5*12)+4= 64 hours per week. Every week? Is this some kind of holiday rush or a family business or agricultural work?

I am 67 years old, soon to be 68. Some do call me old and feeble. But I'm with Henry.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 44
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/7/2016 11:33:34 PM

He does work 12 hour days Monday through Friday and 4 hour days on Saturdays and Sundays off.

That's probably based on a true story, but not most likely not entirely true. He's probably taking his craziest week that can come up and that he can sign up for -- and putting that as how it is, he doesn't like it, but ce la vie. :)

It wasn't you. I just had a lot of personal problems. I was having trouble dealing. I'm sorry about that. But I genuinely would like to try again. You're a very sweet girl.

Yeah, it didn't have to do with rain or his over-inflated work schedule -- although I'm sure some truth to it just added gravity to the situation of him not wanting to see ya. His response wasn't about schedules conflicting -- it was "I had a lot of personal problems". Which to some degree is true, I'm sure. Basically, he wasn't interested. He had a lot going on, but hey, he's more freed up and wants to open up the back-burner option (you) again. :)

His response wasn't: "It was horrible timing, and to be honest, me being so tied up with things I couldn't just run off and see ya so easily. It'd be a pain and run off and see any friends who lived on the other side of town to hang out. I'm just letting you know that me working 12 hour days has been thankfully reduced due to them finally getting new hires, so I now DO have open time to go out on some dates with someone who isn't so conveniently located next door or something -- and that's you. I totally understand if you're not interested, though..."
 Nancybythebay
Joined: 4/5/2016
Msg: 45
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/8/2016 1:01:47 AM

But if a woman I had the hots for invited me to come see her, rain would NOT be a deterrent. Torrential rains would not even be noticed. Street flooding would be a minor inconvenience.

A tsunami might slow me down, force me to seek out an alternate route. But by god, I would get there or die trying!


Perfectly said... ohenryx.

In my other profile some time ago ( I was Aussie Nancy ) I mentioned in my profile my idea of a first date.
I said "we could walk along the pier in the rain and laugh and point at each other and maybe kick someone's bucket of fish over and run like hell." Well I didn't kick someone's bucket of fish over but my date and I really did laugh and point at each other as we both looked like shiiit. Was pouring down with rain. Best date ever!!

We dated for a little over 6 months but life went on.....
 brilliantdiguise
Joined: 10/5/2016
Msg: 46
Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/8/2016 10:06:25 AM
Oh yes, the virgin that is so socially inept and backwards. Have you thought of getting a cat or two? Or maybe a dog?

People seem to play with her like a cat plays with a mouse. Sad really
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 47
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Mo' Pickle Bluez
Posted: 12/8/2016 10:41:17 AM

Remember DARTH VADER? He didn't play well, either.


True and why was that? Because Anakin Skywalker was a whiny teenager who became a stroppy Jedi who didn't like it when things didn't go all his way. He had mummy issues and later focused so much on things that *could* be that they ended up happening as a direct result. Only realised his mistake right at the end when it was pretty much too late to say: sorry Luke for cutting your hand off back there, and hey Leia, no hard feelings about torturing you back on the Death Star, yeah?

Like everyone else, I've driven in the pouring rain to meet people. It's a rubbish excuse. I'd only use it if I really wasn't interested. Bonus points if the other person adds to that.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 48
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/8/2016 10:52:07 AM

Driving can be dangerous and risky at all times; day or night, rain or sunshine, city or country roads. What if it starts to rain during your date? Would you get a bus or a taxi home? I seriously don't understand that mind set.


You do realize that, according to Highway Patrol statistics and reports on radio newscasts, accidents increase substantially during periods of rain compared to dry weather?
Especially in major metro areas such as where the OP lives.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 49
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/8/2016 11:38:44 AM
^^ While accidents may increase when the weather is rainy, you can't put your life on hold to wait for sunny days. Plus if you look at the weather for the weekend in question, in Hollywood where the parade was located, there was a total of .2" on Saturday. Nothing on Sunday the day of the parade. Its a thin excuse at best.

In contrast, my town had 1.5" between Friday and Sunday that weekend. My life was not put on hold to wait for things to be "safe".
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 50
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/8/2016 11:44:02 AM
Come to Britain. Rains every other day! :oD
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