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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 1 month again returns but does he want to date me?      Home login  
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 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 176
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?Page 8 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)


Natalie......I never asked you to


You claimed she will eventually "outgrow" metal and implied it's something immature, that it's growth to stop liking it.



I know you like your heavy metal music even at your age of 30 but I'm wondering if it might be a turn off for those who have "been there done that" and grown out of it. You will too eventually. Just saying is all


Nataly was justified in shouting she will *never* stop liking the music.

Can't remember reading a "just saying" that wasn't immediately following something rude and/or wrong.

Glad I still haven't "outgrown" metal at significantly past age 30.
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 177
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 6:45:08 PM
For your information, I have a job now and it pays me well. But my parents won't let me get my own insurance or car because they prefer it, if I use public transit instead. So I sticking to that instead and it saves me more time and money even more so. Besides that, they don't want me driving around period, because of the crazy driver's around town these days, and even if I had insurance and was covered, I could end up in a serious accident and die or serious injuries. So they rather play it safe and have me use public transit and I don't mind doing that. When and if they feel ready to put me on their insurance and allow me to drive, they will let me drive.

As far as this guy I posted the recent chat we had, and he says he's visiting family and wanted me to contact him while visiting family and I don't want to do that, because I don't want to be a bother. I have not talked to him at all until this past week because I wanted him to make the first move and he never did, so I had to message him and ask him what he wanted to do and he told me in that chat we had.

When it comes down it I am just going to leave him alone altogether. If he wants to date me or ask me out he can do so. I have done the chasing to him and nothing has happened from it and I am tired of it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 178
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 6:57:16 PM

So then what should I do? Should I do what he said and talk to him while he is in Houston visiting his family or leave him and talk to him in the New Year or what. I don't want to be left wondering this, that, and the other here.

You should Not Chase him. He already demonstrated that he's not that into you. He feels bad about it and says that he can soon enough, etc. Fine. Let him come to you but by no means focus on him. Just let him know "Hey, people have busy lives... when I like a guy, it sucks that he has bigger things going on, etc. I'm cool with it, but if you'd like to see me, hit me up, we'll set a date that I'd happy to go out in person. Not looking for a pen-pal, but hit me up while you're out in Houston sometime, and maybe we can set something up then."

With that said, you move on with no expectations. Ball's in his court, and let him know in a friendly way that's how the situation is now, given how things have transpired between you two. You don't play games to make him chase you, you just shelve this situation... and if he comes to you, he comes to you. Don't let a text he could send in a week or so get you giddy, either. It means nothing much. That's why you only want to chit-chat with a date set up in order. Be emotionless & more robotic when it comes to those always on the run & not able to meet -- but yeah, you Could talk to once in a while. But do that if it's been a while, but don't pen-pal it. Waste of time.

But my parents won't let me get my own insurance or car because they prefer it, if I use public transit instead. So I sticking to that instead and it saves me more time and money even more so.

If using public transport saves you money & time when it comes to life -- which includes the Social world, being able to go wherever -- heck yeah, sure. But I think it's just public transit to work where it's fitting, right? If I were your parents, I'd buy a beater (that you'd help pay for)... but let you drive it once in a while. Not having the skills to drive a car is not a good idea. You want to keep a comfort-zone with it. Being able to as Backup -- "borrowing mom's car" when it's her backup -- is something important.

As far as this guy I posted the recent chat we had, and he says he's visiting family and wanted me to contact him while visiting family

No. Make Him contact you. Again, don't chase. Keep the ball in His court. Not in an angry way, but explain it to him that since he hasn't had time -- he's the one in position to show that he's interested, and given everything, that you're not in position to chase him at all... but would be open to meeting if he Is interested, which would be him hitting you up and keeping tabs.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 179
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 7:01:46 PM
Nataly,

Congratulations on the job! I hope it works out for you.

I read your recent profile. I would suggest that you remove the paragraph about your virginity. This kind of information on a public website can draw the wrong type of person to you. You should always consider your safety in anything you write on-line. Once you have met someone and they seem genuine then you can spring the virginity issue on them.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 180
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 7:06:21 PM
Let's look at the statistics, shall we?

39. California
Probability of dying in a car crash: 1/12,778
Probability of being involved in a fatal car crash: 1/6,063
Total population: 38,332,521
Total licensed drivers: 24,390,236
Total number of deaths in 2013: 3,000
You're not actually better off in the car in California, but with a 1/43,363 chance of getting killed by a car even if you're not in a moving vehicle, it kinda seems like it sometimes.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thrillist.com/amphtml/cars/nation/how-likely-you-are-to-die-in-a-car-accident-in-every-us-state-the-most-dangerous-roads-in-america

You seem to have an excuse for everything, Nataly.

And I disagree that you've put any serious work into this. Whinging over messages does not cut it. He's the one having to do all the running around while you sit and wait for him to knock at the door. I would see no incentive in bothering if I were him.
 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 181
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 7:43:21 PM

I know you like your heavy metal music even at your age of 30 but I'm wondering if it might be a turn off for those who have "been there done that" and grown out of it. You will too eventually. Just saying is all



Can't remember reading a "just saying" that wasn't immediately following something rude and/or wrong


Viking...I like you and enjoy reading your posts but forgive me when I say I don't see where I was remotely rude in my post to her. :(

Some people grow out of certain "stages" and others don't. I get that. I said I wondered if it might be a turn off etc etc. Not that it was. However, having said that I suppose I was out of line by saying "You will too eventually". Maybe she won't but in the decades to come, she (and others alike) may quite possibly suffer a degree of hearing loss due to the loud music and ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) due to shaking their heads too much. Anyway...again....just my opinion.

On a different note.......that's great you've found a job, Natalie. Well done.
I still, however, can't grasp the concept about your driving. Your parents drive and they could end up in an accident too......we all could. We cannot live in a life of cotton wool.

Anyway. I've stated my thoughts.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 182
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 10:39:41 PM

You're not actually better off in the car in California, but with a 1/43,363 chance of getting killed by a car even if you're not in a moving vehicle, it kinda seems like it sometimes.

Yes, and also -- you don't need to be the driver (gasp). If you excuse yourself from being on the road much, especially if you're driving, you also reduce the odds. It's literally nutty not to drive At All because of safety issues that have a small % + something you can control.

Your parents drive and they could end up in an accident too......we all could.

Good point. She should pretty much tell her maw & paw to hang up their car keys -- and to get a city bus subscription. But hey, maybe they're daredevils. ;)
 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 183
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/20/2016 11:43:31 PM

But my parents won't let me get my own insurance or car because they prefer it, if I use public transit instead.


How old are you?


Besides that, they don't want me driving around period, because of the crazy driver's around town these days, and even if I had insurance and was covered, I could end up in a serious accident and die or serious injuries.


How old are you?

So why were you allowed to get your driving licence? In their opinion, it seems no one should drive in case they die. Seriously??? No busses or taxis should be on the road either. Even worse...a train in case it derails and kills everyone. How about a horse and cart? Wait.....the horse might die or the wheel fall off the cart and you fall off a cliff.
How ridiculous. Get a bicycle. No wait!....you might ride over a stone and the front wheel gets bent out of shape causing the chain to snap and therefore you're out of control and fall under a friggin bus!!

Best to hide away in bed I reckon. Safer that way.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 184
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 5:00:13 AM
"How old are you?"

I was thinking the same thing. She sounds like a teen, She shouldn't expect some guy to pick her up for a date if driving around these days is so dangerous with all of the crazy drivers out there. She wouldn't want to feel responsible if a guy was going to pick her up and he gets into a car accident, and possibly injured or killed. Is that why she talked a guy into not meeting her when there was rain in the forecast, which would increase the chance of an accident? Next time, she should suggest that they both take the bus to meet for a date to reduce the chance of being seriously injured or killed. It's not like the good old days, when nobody got into car accidents and every driver was sane. (lol)
 Etritonakin
Joined: 11/25/2016
Msg: 185
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 9:36:59 AM
If you feel like talking to him, talk to him. If not, don't.

Go on with your life -stop worrying about this guy. Stop worrying about anything that has already happened.

Have fun. Move on -whether with him or without him. You don't owe each other anything.
Don't be too serious about it -especially this early. Things will work or they won't.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 186
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 9:43:59 AM
^^^^ Yes. 100 years ago, cars would only run into horses and ditches. No city bothered with traffic lights until 1914 ... driving was easy! Heck, they didn't even paint lanes on most roads!!
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 187
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 10:22:07 AM

I read your recent profile. I would suggest that you remove the paragraph about your virginity.


Not only that but advertising that you (Nataly) were born prematurely and that that has caused you medical issues isn't necessarily wise either. However people want to interpret your statement about "your appearance being different from what is expected nowadays", anyone doing a bit of research will find that premature birth DOES carry a risk of neurological problems such as anxiety disorders and neuroses.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/11765769/Premature-babies-more-likely-to-be-anxious-adults.html

People could be forgiven for running away from odd behaviour, whatever the cause. You're just making it easier for them, sabotaging yourself like that and hinting away at it.

Don't get me started on the whole "I'm NOT transgender!" thing...
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 188
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 12:15:44 PM
GTO:

heavy metal is a turnoff? Rats, I still love Dokken, Lynch Mob, Queensryche and Within Temptation.

Rats, I still love Ratt.

Aussie:

just my opinion... the ones of you sticking your fingers up looks like you're saying "get fukd" like a rebellious teenager.


That's the metal salute. And it probably means that, among many other things. \m/


I know you like your heavy metal music even at your age of 30 but I'm wondering if it might be a turn off for those who have "been there done that" and grown out of it.


Many do grow out of it as a lifestyle, but still may keep the interest, and still listen to it, go to a few shows, etc. etc. But as someone mentioned above, don't change your interests just for someone else...it's what makes you what you are. If you do, you'll be unhappy down the road. And heavy metal music fans are overwhelmingly male, so the ratio should be good for a woman who enjoys it. However, that particular subset of men likely may be less interested in dating a virgin vs. the wider universe of all single men. Headbangers generally want to be bangin' other things besides their heads every once in awhile.

And Nataly, the pictures you've posted lately are much better than those you had up before. Good luck.
 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 189
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 1:23:28 PM

anyone doing a bit of research will find that premature birth DOES carry a risk of neurological problems such as anxiety disorders and neuroses.


You're quite right there, orange, and I'd forgotten Natalie was, indeed, born premature. Perhaps Natalie is therefore an anxious type and finds relief from such in her music.

On a side note, I need to apologise to you, Natalie, for my harsh post regrading driving. Not everyone drives because they're too nervous or whatever reason or they decide to drive later in life.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 190
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 4:53:26 PM
Some one posted statistics for auto accidents. Wonder what the stats are for being assaulted walking to or from the bus or while waiting for the bus or while riding the bus. I was abducted walking home because I missed the last bus and wasn't allowed to drive.
 Aussiebythebay
Joined: 12/11/2016
Msg: 191
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 6:23:30 PM
Good Lord, Cynthia...... What an horrendous experience for you! I can't even begin to imagine....... :(
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 192
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/21/2016 9:08:30 PM
Nataly66687- You've given him plenty of chances.
More than most would.
If he was really interested, you would have met by now.
As much into music as you are, can't you meet someone when you are out?
Btw- No one is EVER too old for Metal music!
I am currently reading "Metallica, the story behind every album." (music icons collectors edition). You should get it, it's GOOD.
Rock on and be who you are, no apologizing, THAT is what being a Metal fan is all about!
 nataly66687
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 193
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 1:28:20 PM

Keeping the post going,


Well 1 month guy and I, are still talking since we re-connected this past holiday season. And talked over this last holiday weekend and he is currently out of state visiting family out in Texas. He goes and tells me, that if he were here in California for New Years Eve, he'd want us to hang out.

But it wouldn't be to go out to a public place for New Years Eve, but have a quiet evening at his place. Just sitting on the couch, watching movies, then share a kiss at midnight for the New Year.

But all girls, know that when a guy has the girl come over, to spend a nice evening together, it usually means the guy wants to have sex with the girl. Isn't that always the case?

Doing this sort of thing for a "FIRST DATE" is a nice idea but then again makes me feel uncomfortable.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 194
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Pickles
Posted: 12/27/2016 1:41:12 PM
Pickles are a traditional gift given to celebrate the new year.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 195
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 2:23:24 PM

Doing this sort of thing for a "FIRST DATE" is a nice idea but then again makes me feel uncomfortable.


What "First Date"?

From your initial post:


A few months ago, I dated this one guy for 1 month, but things didn't work out between us.


Is this like a do-over?
The previous dates no longer count?
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 196
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1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 2:48:28 PM
Sounds to me as though he's embarrassed to be seen out in public with you. In any case, I thought 'hanging out' meant casual sex over in the US? You keep dangling it and then taking it away.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 197
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 2:49:28 PM

He goes and tells me, that if he were here in California for New Years Eve, he'd want us to hang out.

But it wouldn't be to go out to a public place for New Years Eve, but have a quiet evening at his place. Just sitting on the couch, watching movies, then share a kiss at midnight for the New Year.


So an ideal NYE celebration for you is having the guy pick you up, take you to his place where you sit on the couch watching movies, kiss at midnight, and I suppose expect to be driven home right after. What a party animal (lol)! Did the guy mention about getting together when he gets back to make up for it, since he bailed on you on Christmas, and now New Year's Eve? Is this the same guy that bailed on you on your birthday as well? Keep dreaming for that ideal non-romantic date with him-or to use your term, hang out.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 198
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 3:15:54 PM
Well, SS454, you like Ratt, I like typing "SS454". Tho i'm a bit old school and like the 427. And Jessi of WithinTemptation, i guess its a reminder of how intelligent you are :) Anyway, the whole thing about parents not letting one have a driving license, I get it, but man, reminds me of a gal an old college chum was dating. Mom came from a wealthy trading family in Africa, had a few houses here in the state, the daughter was old enough to go to college.

So, mom had two brothers also go to college for little other reason than to, well, keep an eye out. Drove the daughter to school every day in, of all things, a late 1960's Cadillac. Straight out of some movie, petite little daughter alone in the back seat, two stern looking sons in the front. Mom was uber controlling, she kept her Federal judge ex-hubby around one of the houses to show him who was still wearing the pants. Funny how having money to toss at any little problem can convince people to let you control their lives.

I guess that's why easy paths tend to go downhill? :)

as for NYE at home with a kiss and some champagne to loosen things up...yes, it could be a plan for other things. Or it could be that he's an argaphobe.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 199
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 4:09:00 PM
It is not always the case that the guy expects to go all the way if he invites a girl to his place to watch a movie.

This particular guy sounds socially awkward and would struggle to try for a kiss. Getting farther would be a big struggle. Cannot imagine Nataly encouraging him.

The holiday kissing traditions (mistletoe and the new year) can help shy people kiss. The tradition requires it, so they can use it as an excuse.

The botanical gardens in my city still had some of their holiday decorations up, including mistletoe, on the Sunday before MLK. Had a first date there. She saw the mistletoe and spoke about it. We had already kissed the first time we sat on a bench, but the mistletoe got us to kiss again.

Ideally you and he will go somewhere they still have the holiday decorations, and the mistletoe will get you two to kiss.

The wording in your post sounds hypothetical, as if he will still be out of town and is describing something you could do if he were in town.

It's for the best he is not available for the new year. Many drunk drivers on the road. A player would use the hazardous conditions as a reason to stay the night.

Nataly, how about you think of something that would make you comfortable, then suggest it to him.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 200
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/27/2016 4:29:10 PM
Nat, I'm curious what your ideal date for new years would be. Or any date for that matter.
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