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 fine haitian
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 536
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?Page 8 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
well thats the thing i would never discuss my personal bizness in reference with a relationship.
im not in one but since you brought it up trust is used i think as a way to get rid of a person. trust is suppose to be earned? well my question to you would be are you angry or getting revenenge? im gonna be real i caught my ex atleast 10 times with her so called friend but as soon as we break up they move in together? so i figure you wanna be disrespectful to me ill give you a taste of your own medication. some women think it is ok to bring another man around. i agreed with her i said ok. no problem. i thought maybe they are friends? i found that only god knows what was really going on. i think respect and trust is mutual thing. you cant have one without the other. that when misdirected behavior come in. due to not getting enough attention. i think if you really love someone see love is real im not talking about people who say i love you. either when you say it you mean it or you dont. you gotta make the choice if you cant be respected leave him or her? you gotta ask yourself did i do anything wrong because the only way you can tell a person anything is if you did nothing. ill flat out say it maybe that its a test to bring you too stronger together? im mean i was faithful until i was disrespected by one of her men friends.see none of my homeboys girls do them that way. the man friend should never be around because that is how stuff get started. fights and leading to someone getting hurt? i think some couples are both at fault and need counseling. we gotta recall one thing when you hurt someone i was hurt atleast 12 times before i did anything about it. i tried going to church with her i tried talking to her she was so concerned about paying bills. made me catch the bus from orange county and guess what i am a disabled man. all the way to san fernando valley. i even have a witness. she should of just punch me. so its all good people these days would be suprised if you would just put the keyboard down and truly just think about the other person. get to know thim without a computer. are there any people that have good hearts out there?people would find happiness vs. feeling blue. what is wrong with accepting a person for how they are. its not my fault im disabled i didnt ask to be.
 Livelaugh
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 539
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:34:55 AM
Two solutions to this:
1) If you want to keep the relationship going: Bring it up and talk about it. Proper and open communication is always the key.
2) If you don't trust him already and lean towards breakup: Don't say anything to him and keep track of how many are on his favorites list for a while. If they go up and down, question him as he is probably trying to pick one up. Give him a chance to hang himself before dumping. I love playing super sleuth. Some people prefer this internet crap...(they have issues....)
 HipppyChick
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 543
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:54:47 PM
hmm... well .. if that guy was In a Relationship with me?... i'm not talking about the first meeting, a few dates.. i mean IN a relationship. And then i found out he was still on a SINGLES DATING SITE?.. what would i think of him? .. first i would have to ask .. "what do i think of myself that i would tolerate someone who is obviously unsatisfied, yet wants to keep me until he finds ms. right? .. ya can't change anyone but your own self .. no point in questioning questionable behaviour either. Far as I'm concerned the only kind of relationship for me is one man one woman .. not one man 20,000 potential friends .. and me when he isn't on line! lol .. wtf .. I figure too that if i'm in a relationship and i CHOOSE to stay despite that type of behaviour .. best i shut my mouth or let everyone know i'm a fool ..
I think very little of people in relationships playing on SINGLES Dating Sites .. very very little .. I think more of myself for sure .. in fact .. I think enough of myself that I'd kik his butt to the curb in a heartbeat!
Cheating is not necessarily reserved to sex .. it takes many forms. If you won't do it with your partner in the room then it is wrong and You know it! Cheating = taking time from your partner to give to others. Cheating = lying or hiding the truth. Cheating = Acting like youre Single when you aren't! ..
I also agree with what one of the guys said way back there .. that those who are in relationshps yet continue to mess around on a SINGLES dating site make it hard for the good guys to get a chance. And ..it just isn't very nice. FYI = I have contacted 2 wives so far, had 1 contact me > because their S/O's contacted me here!!! (claiming to be single!). I told their SPOUSES the Truth AND i directed them to their respective partners profiles on this site .. none of those 3 are here anymore. Thus freeing up that space on my screen for some nice SINGLE Man to fill .. sigh ..
Happy New Year!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 550
view profile
History
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 7:57:07 PM
Depends to a great extent on how you define active. It's surprising and sad that this beat to death topic and thread has survived 34 pages of same old, same old. My sweetie is here, and we're both "active", actively posting in the forums and keeping in contact with all our friends. Doing a search, scanning profiles and trying to hit on people? Ummm...NO, we both get the "hitting on" emails and give a polite no thanks, happily involved, if warranted. Sometimes it's just block/delete I get more of the rude ones than he does. Because I'm a female, one of hundreds of thousands, seems to put a kink in their undies that I'm not available and looking. Profile, marital status for well over a year has been not single/not looking, clearly here for forums and friends.
We also have many couples friends who like us, met here and stay here. People DO actually meet here, and are involved/gotten married and some like us, planning our future together. It's up to us and them to decide when we want to take our profiles down and be totally and permanently "inactive". I'm tempted to do so quite often, almost daily, but won't do it because of the inconsideration and blatant rudeness of other members.
We'll stay and be active in the forums and stay in touch with our friends as long as care to, and will encourage our other single and couples friends to do the same.
We're no threat or concern to those actively looking, and wish all of them the absolute best. We won't be those who write and try to steal other member's boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others/wives/husbands. So carry on, and beat this dead horse even further, I do feel sorry for your concerns about having to worry about a supposed partner who keeps a profile here for other reasons. This site has well over a million members, and whoever is screwing up your present relationship, it's not us.
 PrettyRedWolf
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 551
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:06:27 PM
Hi. I would calmly talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about him still using the site while he is now in a relationship with you. IF he refuses to listen to how you feel them maybe he just isn't the guy for you. But talk to him He might just not know how it makes you feel with him still being on the site who knows maybe he just has some friends on the site
 diamonds in the sky
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 552
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:45:24 AM
I totally agree with bucsgirl. I have stated on my profile ( found my fish not looking) I would never ask the guy i'm dating to remove his profile . Trust him , if the relationship is right , you should have no worries .
 Dragoninrain
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 553
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:39:39 AM
Bullpucks -- those who have friends they wish to stay in contact with can do it via direct email or chat OUTSIDE a dating site, otherwise, imo either gender is a player who is in a relationship and still on a dating site (goes for married/attached/living together/LTR whatever label used).

IF anyone is merely interested in forums and not looking for something their relationship isn't providing, spend that time on their primary relationship or HIDE your profile.
 SonoraDreamin
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 583
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:25:31 PM
Isn't it obvious...a player...move on...
 Love to chat....
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 587
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:58:29 AM
In one word - LOSER! There are always people that are going to cheat and the internet is giving them more access. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Better to move on and find a guy that is willing to take his profile down as a sign of respect. And yes, there are still some that are willing to do this.
 Doctor Feelgood
Joined: 3/30/2007
Msg: 591
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/13/2007 5:22:44 PM
First off - why does everyone think it was this site. I could have been any number of sites not POF. There are too mant to even start to mention.

Second - how is it that these people concerned about this are aware of all this going on. Because they spend too much time on the computer. Many of them are obsessed with these contraptions. Instead of making the relationship stronger they are weakening it. The effort they spend on this kind of thing would be better towards the relationship itself. Then the time spent to spy. It sounds as though there is a big trust issue and likely it's their issue and not the persons they 're complaining about.

Third - it's important to realize that it doesn't matter where you get the appetite as long as you go home to eat. Don't ignore the fact that this stuff is all around you, step up and face it. Make what you give in return good enough to keep the person. There's a reason the person is with you in the first place - don't lose sight of that.
 Doctor Feelgood
Joined: 3/30/2007
Msg: 600
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:50:13 PM
DON'T FORGET THAT YOU ARE ALSO ON A DATING SITE RIGHT NOW...

I want to agree with this. The fact that coming on this site - is like 'the pot calling the kettle black'. You are coming on to this site and continuing to be available to anyone.
Once, you have established the fact of him on these sites and he confessed to being there. Allow him to show you that he has discontiued them.
As you have already moved on and gave him the boot. You should have gave him
the same benefit you would want him to give you.

After all you were the one spying and checking up on him. You probably did all
this on his own computer. This should be covered in another thread and people should have some privacy from each other.

 Delicate_Flower
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 603
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:39:53 PM
I have lots of male friends from all over the world. Most are married. I ask how the kids are doing? They send pics of school plays etc. it's all very nice and above board. Believe it or not niceness can happen. Just being nice. Not wanting to get into pants. This site isn't just a dating site. There are the options for just friends, hang out etc. If u have doubts then u need to step back and evaluate things from ur end. If u were totally full on with this guy then him cheating wouldn't even enter your mind. Have a re-think. I speak from experience. Without trust there is nothing.
 csod64
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 604
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 7/29/2007 12:45:56 PM
Personally I think it sucks. That goes both ways--for men and women. Now if the relationship is an "open one" and both parties are agreeable to outside "dating", then who am I to judge. I just wouldn't want to "date" anyone in that situation.
 lattegirl
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 611
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:18:40 PM
A guy I was dating told me he loved me, wanted to move closer to where I am when I am done school, always missed me and stated to me that he never felt this way about anyone before. I caught him once going on POF messaging girls , I got mad he made a vow to make it up to me. Two weeks after that he was at it again planning to meet someone and stating that he was single for a whole year.

I was sad but more upset for allowing myself to fall for someone so deceiving.
 BoldlyGo
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 613
answer:
Posted: 9/1/2007 5:14:27 PM
You did say "in a relationship", you did not say "married".

That being the case, it is perfectly healthy and normal as long
as he communicates this to those that he is dating.

The healthiest relationships, according to sociologists, tend
to be those comitted couples who happen to be in the Swing
Lifestyle.

They communicate, they have no jealosy, and they have
greater communication between themselves because they
hide nothing.

According to Dr. Susan Block, these couples have more solid
relationships because they have, in their minds, the greatest
lives in the world.
 TRACIELEE
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 614
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:37:50 PM
hell yeh your justified......if he was interested in you after meeting you then sorry love he wouldnt have an active profile......if i meet someone i want to have something with my profile would be gone...you did the right theng by deleting yours well done! he on the other hand my think the grass is always greener hun ... dont waste time on someone not willing to give you the same consideration ditch his ass and wait for mr genuine ...cause if this guy was genuine he wouldnt have a profile
 one_of_a_kind87
Joined: 3/30/2007
Msg: 616
view profile
History
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:34:51 AM
well im actually in a relationship and me personally dont mind my boyfriend goin on these sites just as long as his status says in relationship and the people he speaks 2 know hes taken. i guess im lucky as my boyfriend feels the same way as me, i suppose this is different as we fully trust eachother.. and trust is wot u need 4 a healthy strong relationship

my advice to u is to confront him, and tell him how hurt u r by it all... if he really cares that much 4 u, he will do his best 2 put ur mind at rest or even delete his profile 4 the time bein...

good luck
 BRAVE ENOUGH 2 TRY AGAIN
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 623
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 9:12:07 AM
KeepingStep, this is only my opinion. Having been there before once myself, cut bait now Girl and move on. He isn't worth the trouble. He is keeping you on a string/leash/whatever until something better (in his eyes) comes along. Life is too precious and short.......PLENTY OF FISH left in the sea Girl. I have met someone wonderful and hope all goes well with him but still being careful. Email me if you ever want to chat, blow off steam, tell me off, etc. Take Care.
 .Selena.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 634
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 2:20:21 PM
I'm very amused that this topic was posted three yrs ago and still people are posting advice. I'm sure the problem has been resolved one way or the other by now lol.


OP...does he know your on POF....what difference does it make which site your on...you are still on a dating site...so ,you dont have a right to say anything......maybe someone needs to let him know your on here...so he can checkup on you......ladybug


There's a HUGE difference between POF and other sites; POF has forums and the option of listing Talk/Email, Hang Out and Friends as what people are looking for. Granted, there are men who lie about the "hang out" because they're trying to get some a$$, but there still are some people who are genuinely using this site for the forums only and are honest about their relationship status.
 .Selena.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 643
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 9:31:04 PM

BTW.....If you are in a relationship...shouldnt you be spending ALL your time with that special someone.....Hun...when there is someone exclusive in my life...I dont have time for POF or forums on these date sites.....My time and energy is put into the one that I am interested in.....


Well then you may want to warn any potential significant others that you're going to suffocate them so they can run far away from you. When I have a boyfriend, I also have my own free time, my own friends, I still chat with friends on IM and I still go to forums I'm active on. When you're in a relationship that doesn't mean you see the person every single day, 24/7, and you can't talk to anyone else, ever. That's ridiculous. Are you going to cancel your accounts on every other website you're on?
 Just about me
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 644
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/28/2007 9:44:20 PM
It has happen to me, i let him know that i saw his profile, and he turned it off just to set up a new one, and then again i was informed about it, check to make sure it was true, and again approached him about it.

Then just to make it even worse, he was on a different dating site, with a photo, stating he was single.... interesting because amm, states the date they joined!

Over 2 years he had 3 profiles on amm, 2 on rsvp, 1 on Elenas Models, and thats what i know about!!!!! There are so many dating sites, i was doing my head in trying to find him that i just told him to go!!



Just about me
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