Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 24
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex. Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I have not gone that far without sex. It has been 5 years for me. I agree that the personal connection, touch and warmth is missed more than the sex for me. I think I will have a lot longer than 8 years for this dry spell. When no one wants anything to do with you, you don't really have a choice.
 LittleDreamGirl
Joined: 4/27/2016
Msg: 25
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/9/2017 1:29:47 AM
I was in the exact same situation as you Uncle Tom90 (and almost still am). Ironic, since I've always had a healthy sex drive. Although I'm sure the reasons for you are quite different from mine.

Without getting into what it was here, back in 2008 when I was 37 I experienced a life-shattering, horrifying and deeply traumatic event that completely destroyed my life in every way possible. And I do mean in EVERY aspect. Not a 'normal' trauma that most people deal with at some point in their lives, but one that is so rare, you have a 1 in a million chance of being so unlucky. The aftermath was even worse - my long-term boyfriend and I broke up under the stress. I developed SEVERE PTSD for several years (thank god I no longer suffer from it anymore). I also plunged into a deep depression for many years which affected my relationships with my family and friends. It's much better, but even now I have to work hard to keep it at bay. All to say when your life is chaos and you endure years of emotional suffering and hell, you're happy to just survive the day, let alone have sex or a relationship. I isolated myself socially and did not even WANT a man in my life for many years. I gave up on love and resigned myself to living like a nun for the rest of my life. I purposely shut down my sex drive. It was rare that I would masturbate.

The years went by, and I gradually became more social, going out a little bit more. Then 2 years ago (2015) a man came into my life who was so persistent that he broke down my sexual defenses. It was mostly a long distance relationship but for 5 months we had a very active mind-blowing cyber-sex life. Let's just say this brought my libido back from the dead with a vengeance! We called off the relationship because of the distance, but boy, I was all revved up and ready to date again for the first time in over 7 years! Signed up for POF, met a guy, hit it off, dated him for a month, and finally had REAL WORLD sex for the first time in over 7 years!! I had multiple orgasms and it was great! What sucked was that he had a cold sore so we couldn't kiss during sex, so that did put a damper on things. Well too much of a damper for him I guess, since he dumped my ass 3 days after we had sex for the first time :'( I was crushed. Not so much because I was super attached to him or anything, but just the fact that FINALLY after 7 LONG years of abstaining from sex by choice, I opened up and allowed myself to be vulnerable for the first time and WHAM! It was like getting kicked in the stomach. And it wasn't just a bad dating experience, but frankly probably the worst of my life. No man has ever ended it with me after only one roll in the hay....they all couldn't wait to keep coming back for more!

So basically I went over 7 years without sex, finally had sex and was looking forward to continuing to explore things with the guy, and I got dumped before he even gave it a chance. Well that was almost exactly a year and I have not been intimate with anyone since. Like a turtle who's hurt or scared I'm back in my shell now.

So the final result? I have had sex only ONCE in the last 8 years. And couldn't even kiss the idiot 'cos he had a cold sore.

So I feel ya.....all you peeps out there who go ridiculously long periods of time without sex......some of us it is by choice because we are not in a place emotionally to have a relationship (even if we normally have high sex drives), for some they just don't have a high sex drive so they don't try very hard But it totally sucks when you DO want a loving, sexual relationship and it's just not happening. Even though many men find me attractive, flirt with me, would date me, my self esteem and confidence has taken a serious beating...because the rare guy I DID want to have a relationship with rejected me. To answer the original question - yes for me it has badly affected my mental health and self-esteem not being in a loving relationship for over 8 years now.

Sorry, didn't mean for this to be an autobiography! lol Just feel it's more helpful when people share personal stories that they share the details.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/9/2017 5:21:37 PM
you can give yourself a hug both psychologically and physically it is possible.
 bigcitymodesty
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 27
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 8:58:58 AM
That is very true
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 28
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 9:04:25 AM
"you can give yourself a hug both psychologically and physically it is possible."



True but the latter should only be done in the privacy of one's home in case one gets excited



# ya I know, sometimes I have too much time on my hands
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 29
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 9:15:34 AM

# ya I know, sometimes I have too much time on my hands


I think we know what you have on your hands.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Self-love is a wonderful thing.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 30
8 years ( prolly by now )without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 10:07:21 AM
"Self-love is a wonderful thing."




UNLESS it becomes abusive, in which case , a " safe word " is always a good plan before proceeding



Just sayin
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 31
view profile
History
8 years ( prolly by now ) without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 12:35:26 PM

True but the latter should only be done in the privacy of one's home in case one gets excited


I sense a story here, BCC.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 32
8 years ( prolly by now ) without sex.
Posted: 5/17/2017 12:40:19 PM
What can I say Sun , when it comes to me coming on to myself .... I'm a pushover





In order to maintain the highest quality CRACK you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Dan6308
Joined: 10/23/2013
Msg: 33
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 5/28/2017 3:42:19 PM
I've had long periods of no sex, and I hadn't gone crazy.
But no fun either! ;)

I'm in the middle of one now. I miss it more than when I was younger. Am I becoming weaker? ;)

It probably is not good if you have a high sex drive and lack affection...
 singleprofessionalinco
Joined: 5/25/2017
Msg: 34
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/1/2017 1:09:48 AM

So the last time I had any sort of sexual contact was nearly 8 years ago. I heard that amount of time can be bad for anyone's mental health and can lead to severe depression and low self-esteem. I'm just curious.


At 1-1/2 years. Thankfully, I work in a field where I can write off ammunition expenses as training expenses, and range time beats running the herpes lottery gauntlet any day of the week!
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 35
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/1/2017 9:54:00 AM

At 1-1/2 years. Thankfully, I work in a field where I can write off ammunition expenses as training expenses, and range time beats running the herpes lottery gauntlet any day of the week!


Fat girls are the reason marines have been getting laid since november 10th 1775.
 singleprofessionalinco
Joined: 5/25/2017
Msg: 36
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/1/2017 12:02:18 PM


At 1-1/2 years. Thankfully, I work in a field where I can write off ammunition expenses as training expenses, and range time beats running the herpes lottery gauntlet any day of the week!



Fat girls are the reason marines have been getting laid since november 10th 1775.


My statement isn't a complaint about getting laid. I can dump $70 into ammunition, do box drills at a range all day, and enjoy the tax write-off for it. I don't think feeding a date is considered a write-off even though it would be feeding the hungry in the scenario you provide.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 37
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/1/2017 2:12:51 PM
Just a joke man. :)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 38
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 10:23:12 AM

You think 7 to 8 years is bad, try never. I'm 34 and still waiting for my first time. Keep in mind, I haven't been serious about dating for most of that time; so, never had much of an interest in having sex. However, my right arm is a bit bigger than the left; so mini-me does get to work out some.
Yikes!!! You posted this on 12/31 for a reason, I hope.....NEW YEARS RESOLUTION, perhaps?!

For you, and the OP marooned in the 7 year desert....there are things out there called.....escorts? Drop a couple hundred and break that dry spell already.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 39
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 10:24:48 AM
I could never traverse that 7 year desert....but the older I get, the easier it gets to traverse dry spells. Luckily.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 40
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 10:30:34 AM
" could never traverse that 7 year desert "




Whenever I think of PAT Travers I'm reminded of that scene in Sideways where Miles has to grab Jack's watch












In order to maintain the highest quality BS you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 41
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 11:02:27 AM
^^^ This poster is SPOT ON!
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 42
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 11:04:47 AM
^^^^

THAT X 1000












In order to maintain the highest quality BS you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 43
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/2/2017 7:22:49 PM
"....there are things out there called.....escorts? Drop a couple hundred and break that dry spell already."

Escorts? raced a Fiat with one once. quit doing it before we both went over a bridge and found two cop cars waiting on the other side. Oh, you mean the human ones? from what I've read, they basically give you a handie and then just before you pop you might get a few seconds of sex..and then get charged for the hour. Everyone's milage may vary, but I can't do escorts. for me, at least half the fun of sex is that the lady actually wants it from me. not that I have to buy it. I might as well go solo and imagine in my mind she's a willing participant.

eh....I dropped a couple thou on a 4-4-2, no 4 spd but about as fast as a stock SS454. Instead of STDs I risk roadside service. Whether jumping on the accelerator or popping off some caps, if you can find something that makes you feel alive...its about as good as you try to remember what sex was like. You may not get the brain chemical release that makes you feel connected, and of course a hot rod or a gun or whatever didn't choose you, like a human did, and loving and pampering your car isn't like loving and pampering a human being....

but it'll do for now.
 RyanPerson8890
Joined: 9/2/2016
Msg: 44
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/6/2017 6:20:56 AM
Similar boat here, I lost my virginity at 23, well technically I did, as it was in there for a few seconds before it got soft and I couldn't get it back in. I havent had any contact since and I am now 27. I did date a few girls that year, nothing happened, but I did get addicted to opiates for a while which kind of set me back. Girls wont necessarily want to date a guy who is stick thin and looks like he hasn't slept in days all the time, so I have since gotten clean. I have become a very violent person and regularly snap at the drop of a dime. I have a mental breakdown every couple weeks, sometimes multiple times a week. You can't really get help for this kind of problem(good luck going to a therapist because girls don't like you, that just sounds laughable) but I have learnt a lot about myself in attempting to overcome it.

But it does help to realize that my problems aren't really just lack of sex, its more of feeling unattractive, or unwanted. The best thing I have found for overcoming my feelings is literally just talking to women, and overcoming my fears of them. I could go to the gym, go hiking, play my guitar for hours, and it won't do anything to dull my frustration. However, if I smile and tell a girl I like her shirt(or something stupid like that) I feel immensely better. I do think there is a literal biological reason why people get desperate like this when they experience lack of sex. As a human, one of your main reasons of existing is to procreate. If you don't have sex, your brain becomes focused on it until you do, or at least attempt to do it. My advice is, just go out and talk to women. As much as possible, even if it is a simple hi. I'm still overcoming my fear of it, though I probably would have done it by now if it wasn't for my opiate addiction.

Though it does get annoying when people tell guys who can't get laid to work on themselves or do something fun, it's like they think guys like that just sit in an empty room staring at a wall all day. I just cant get laid because Im too afraid to go up to girls and talk to them, mainly due to countless bad experiences. Spending more time in the gym, working on my job even more will do nothing.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 45
view profile
History
7 years. Nearly 8 without sex.
Posted: 6/12/2017 1:55:19 PM
GTO wrote:

Oh, you mean the human ones? from what I've read, they basically give you a handie and then just before you pop you might get a few seconds of sex..and then get charged for the hour.
I think the reality is very different from what you believe.


Everyone's milage may vary, but I can't do escorts. for me, at least half the fun of sex is that the lady actually wants it from me.
I get that, but if someone is in a very long dry spell, I would suggest it for no other reason than to shake things up. Also doesn't your statement leave out the "other half the fun" of sex? Which is you wanting it from her? Which is still a whole lotta fun? Jus' sayin'.


I might as well go solo and imagine in my mind she's a willing participant.
How 'bout this. Hire an escort and do'er in the back seat of the 442. May take the sting out of having to buy some lovin'? You can also coach her to admire the sleek lines of your.......car...talking it up........whispering it in your ear while you're in the back seat testing the shocks with her.


eh....I dropped a couple thou on a 4-4-2, no 4 spd but about as fast as a stock SS454.
Sweet! Couple thou seems cheap if everything matches. Looked at the pic. Looks totally stock at least on the outside, original paint? Rare if so. Now get in that back seat with that escort and tell us all about it!!


Instead of STDs I risk roadside service.
Another idea. Pretend to break down roadside in the 442, and arrange to have an escort stop by. There's your "roadside service"
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >