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 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 126
Girls.. Does this happen to you?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

and it didn't take long for a little light hearted flirting to happen. They still haven't called me babe or sexy, so apparently they have class.


I'm trying to think of how using a term of endearment doesn't go hand in hand with "flirting". I completely get having preferences, I really do. But sometimes I have to wonder if there's any actual sound logic behind them or if it's just a matter of someone being a hard ass just to see how "obedient" the other will be.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 127
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Posted: 8/10/2017 4:22:54 PM
Well, DreamPig,

As Fiki pointed out:



it depends on context.



When a man calls a woman "Honey" or "Sweetheart" it can mean one of 2 very different things. It can be that he uses either of these terms because he truly likes women. Or it can be a sarcastic euphemism for "Stupid". The tone of voice says a lot about what he means.

A guy calling a woman he barely knows "Sexy" can sincerely just be playful and flirty. But a first POF message that says "Hi, Sexy!" is usually just a "Cut and Paste" by a high volume messenger who doesn't read profiles. Just pictures.

Calling a woman pet names is sometimes a regional habit, as I pointed out earlier. Also depends on the number of messages and meets a couple has had. Sometimes related to the age of the gentleman in question. Some women will give a man the benefit of the doubt in many cases, depending on how he measures up otherwise.

As for me, I will not blow a good man off over one misstep if I truly felt it was innocent.

But, being called "Hon" or something like that, by a younger woman, especially a much younger one, will one will often grate on a woman's nerves. it comes across as overbearing. But in some areas it's only meant to be friendly, so, many just let it go.

OLD talk about sex right off the bat, almost always indicates interest in a hook-up. For that there's always the good ol' block and delete. Come to think of it, the Block and Delete is also useful for "pet names". Or anything a woman finds distasteful.
 Fikirimi
Joined: 7/21/2017
Msg: 128
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 12:52:45 PM
OMG!!!! A new guy just messaged me with "Hey beautiful..."!!!! I better go slap him down HARD!!!!!!!!!!

Whoops, too late, I responded in kind and we are now having a nice chat. Be assured I will return to tell you if he turns out to be a filthy, dirty, sex seeking pig so you can all say I told you so.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 129
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Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 2:22:17 PM
" it's just a matter of someone being a hard ass just to see how "obedient" the other will be."

Insert respectful for obedient.

Obedient.................too funny! A stranger calls me a term of endearment, we will never speak again.
So much for obedience.

"Or it can be a sarcastic euphemism for "Stupid". "

Exactly!

Some have no respect for anyone including themselves.

Some are looking for clues as to how desperate the person they are talking to is for attention.

Delete.....................never to have contact again.................eject.

 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 130
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 3:01:15 PM
Wow, nice job quoting only half of what I said, so you would have something to rant and rave about.



"Or it can be a sarcastic euphemism for "Stupid". "

Exactly!


Great, and this scenario has absolutely NOTHING to do with the topic at hand here. We were talking about a man pursuing a woman, not a sarcastic gesture said when having an argument with one and looking to insult.

Once a man has piqued your interest and you've decided to communicate with him, I fail to see how "flirting" is somehow acceptable, but a term of endearment is deemed "disrespectful". That is the logic I'm questioning here. It's acceptable for him to imply he thinks you're sexy, but just don't CALL you "sexy"??
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 131
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Posted: 8/11/2017 3:03:19 PM

As for me, I will not blow a good man


Well, isn't it time to try a new experience?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 132
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 3:11:14 PM
" I will return to tell you if he turns out to be a filthy, dirty, sex seeking pig so you can all say I told you so."



If he's a relatively mentally and physically healthy male then we already know he is.

The real question is how he reveals it . Either in a blatant no class kinda way or in a slick, James Bond kinda way.


...the name is Chuck - BUTTER CHICKEN Chuck


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 133
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Posted: 8/11/2017 3:22:31 PM
"Great, and this scenario has absolutely NOTHING to do with the topic at hand here."

Opening post starts with...............

"I start talking to guys on these sites and they within minutes, hours or even initial contact start calling me baby, doll, sexy... or otherwise imply an intimate relationship that could not possibly exist SINCE i HAVE NOT EVEN MET THEM YET. This annoys the crap out of me. It seems so insincere.and to me sounds like someone who is just looking for a hook up. "


" I fail to see how "flirting" is somehow acceptable, but a term of endearment is deemed "disrespectful".

You certainly do seem to fail to understand.

As the saying goes "if I have to explain it, you will not understand".

That is the logic I'm questioning here. It's acceptable for him to imply he thinks you're sexy, but just don't CALL you "sexy"??

If they haven't meet, why would that even come up. If he finds it necessary to discuss how sexy a woman is, all that says is that he doesn't see women as people in their own right, just a sex vessel.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 134
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 3:30:51 PM

If they haven't meet, why would that even come up. If he finds it necessary to discuss how sexy a woman is, all that says is that he doesn't see women as people in their own right, just a sex vessel.


Try paying attention, you loon. Fikirimi spoke of engaging in "light hearted flirting" early on in message exchanges. Is it really that off the mark to think he might imply he finds her sexy through the flirting?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 135
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Posted: 8/11/2017 3:56:45 PM

If he finds it necessary to discuss how sexy a woman is, all that says is that he doesn't see women as people in their own right, just a sex vessel.

In my next incarnation my username is going to be sex vessel. Unless I start a band and then it will def be my band's name. Or wait! I could use it for that yacht I am going to have one day. Yes, I think that is the winner.
All aboard the Sex Vessel.
 Fikirimi
Joined: 7/21/2017
Msg: 136
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/11/2017 5:48:11 PM
Fikirimi
" I will return to tell you if he turns out to be a filthy, dirty, sex seeking pig so you can all say I told you so."

Butterchicken Chuck
If he's a relatively mentally and physically healthy male then we already know he is.
The real question is how he reveals it . Either in a blatant no class kinda way or in a slick, James Bond kinda way.
...the name is Chuck - BUTTER CHICKEN Chuck


Chuck, baby, that was me being funny!
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 137
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Posted: 8/11/2017 6:39:47 PM

Meet me first, be sure we like each other before you get down to flirting with me.

FLIRTING is PRECISELY how a guy finds out if a woman likes him. A woman flirts back (LIKES), ignores it ( ? try again ? ), or throws a fit (Game Over).

Woman are very rarely straightfoward with how they feel or what their plans are? How the heck is a guy to know what you are thinking? He asks you on a date and says:
-WHAT food do you like? She says "You pick"
-WHERE would you like to go? She says "You pick"
-WHEN should we meet? She says "You decide"
-WHO is your favorite celeb hearthrob? She says "I can't decide"
-HOW am I supposed to know if you like me? She says "I'll let you know later."

So men go for the Hail Mary and start flirting EARLY and OFTEN. Better to find out NOW then waste time and $$$ on someone who can't decide and won't say.
 Fikirimi
Joined: 7/21/2017
Msg: 138
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/12/2017 1:16:57 AM
Flirting is almost always the opening move and it's often the most interesting one. Flirting without sexual innuendo is safest at first. Flirting with innuendo and without being too crude is an art form. Outright sexual suggestions is not flirting and usually not welcome.

AintNo, just stay away from those types of women. There are plenty of us out here who will give straight answers to those questions. If you don't know any, I'll give you my number. (Flirting!!!)

Absolutely agree with your last comment. If you are a flirter, go for it.

Butterchicken Chuck Baby, my dirty, filthy, flirting, sex-seeking pig turned out to be a scammer. He disappeared as soon as I suggested we talk on Skype. Baaahahahaha!
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 139
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Posted: 8/12/2017 8:09:51 AM

who the heck would interrupt their family dinner time, or racing down a highway to reply to a message on POF?


There are many people that answer their phone, no matter the time, the place, the reason, or the caller. Every. Single. Time. Without Fail.
Text, call, weather alert - they respond to anything that pops up on the screen - and they know something pops up because they're checking 24/7.

Some have jobs that require them to be 'on call'. Other claim they are worried someone will call due to an emergency, so they can't ignore a single ring or vibration. Now stores sell these pop sockets so people NEVER have to set their phones down - they can wear phones like rings and NEVER miss the latest SPAM text.

YES - many people answer phones during dinner - even 50 years ago, when they would complain that it was a telemarketer "who always calls at dinner". For some - it's impossible NOT to answer.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 140
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Posted: 8/12/2017 1:41:45 PM

Woman are very rarely straightfoward with how they feel or what their plans are? How the heck is a guy to know what you are thinking? He asks you on a date and says:



Well aintnodeal, I'll assume here that you meant to write, Women, not "Woman".
So assuming you are referring to the adult female gender, "in general", I look at this from the other side.
IF and when a man asked me ANY of the questions, you listed, "What / Where / ..............to How". I HAD an answer.
Now, more often than not, a man didn't ask the first 3 questions.
He made a likely suggestion followed by, "If that's alright with you?"
OR I stated, I'm hungry for........... Let's meet at...............day and time? Good! See you there!
I have never been asked my heart throb, LOL
and IF I like you? LOL You will have noooooooooooo doubt!

Just a ever so slight hint.
IF ever a man feels the need to ask any of the above questions, perhaps he is on the wrong page?
IF you want a woman who will be assertive, be confident.
 4Lky
Joined: 9/12/2017
Msg: 141
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Posted: 9/17/2017 4:44:45 PM
no, babe
sure doesn't bother me...
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 142
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Posted: 2/14/2018 12:47:44 PM
i don't like it either, it implies familiarity where there is none, could possibly be seen as overstepping boundaries also. guys who are seeing loads of women use these terms so they don't have to remember names also. but i think this topic has gone off track and we're not discussing this any more.
 THEMFNMAN
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 143
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Posted: 2/15/2018 5:07:01 AM
I can't see a situation where I would be offended if someone called me handsome or sweetheart, etc unless the context was that it was being said in a purposely offensive way.

I had a girl who was chasing me call me baby/honey, and it felt wrong ONLY because I was not attracted to her. I suspect that often times the real reason women are put off by these harmless compliments (and generally, that's really all they are) is because they're not attracted to the person giving them.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 144
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 2/19/2018 3:00:11 PM
I have always hated being called sweetie or honey or baby or sugar. Annoys the hell out of me.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 145
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Posted: 2/21/2018 10:47:16 PM
It's one of the biggest problems in dating - men moving too fast.

And then some people get all upset when someone suggests men should play hard to get - but this is exactly why.....to keep guys from humping the woman's leg!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 146
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Posted: 2/22/2018 10:51:41 AM

TheMFNMan
I had a girl who was chasing me call me baby/honey, and it felt wrong ONLY because I was not attracted to her. I suspect that often times the real reason women are put off by these harmless compliments (and generally, that's really all they are) is because they're not attracted to the person giving them.

Bingo! Give the man a cigar, he nailed it.

I was perusing profiles (well, pictures really) on Tinder the other day and came across these words from one woman.


No hookups! (possible exception for George Clooney)

I found that rather amusing, and admired both the humor and the honesty.

I see so many women on Tinder that say “No hookups!” (and quite often those are the only words), I have come to the conclusion that must be some kind of default action when a woman creates a profile over there.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 147
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Posted: 2/26/2018 4:26:14 PM


That is the logic I'm questioning here. It's acceptable for him to imply he thinks you're sexy, but just don't CALL you "sexy"??
If they haven't meet, why would that even come up.

Because he's assuming her pictures are accurate. Should he not? Look, I agree with others that it depends on the context, and the flow of the conversation. Some are uptight with gawd-knows-what up their arse, and some aren't. There's no universal-"rule" with gals, but generally speaking, no, you don't send them an initial message saying "Hey sexy, what are you up to??". But for instance, if they're talking about dating in general, and he throws out "Well, you're a sexy woman, so I can see how you'll get too much of [that]," and the girl wigs out -- yeah, she's got issues.

Additionally, I can see it not being strategic for the guy to say 'sexy' or 'beautiful' too quickly or swiftly, given where the conversation is at between them -- but one should put it in it's proper place. Guys are going to compliment, and sometimes a little hastily where some girls like that, and other girls don't.

There are plenty of us out here who will give straight answers to those questions. If you don't know any, I'll give you my number. (Flirting!!!)

Giving your # isn't flirting. Asking for a # isn't flirting. Flirting is complimenting in a playful manner as if you find them attractive.

I had a girl who was chasing me call me baby/honey, and it felt wrong ONLY because I was not attracted to her. I suspect that often times the real reason women are put off by these harmless compliments (and generally, that's really all they are) is because they're not attracted to the person giving them.

I agree with this too. Not that pouring it on "too thick too much" wouldn't detract some attraction, but, what we like vs not like so much changes, when it's someone who's maybe-chat-worthy VS wow-he's-hot-and-successful.

I see so many women on Tinder that say “No hookups!” (and quite often those are the only words), I have come to the conclusion that must be some kind of default action when a woman creates a profile over there.

The reason that's commonly there is that guys are humping the fire hydrant in 1st or 2nd message wayyy too much. Some of those gals are certainly no strangers to the bedsheets on date #1/#2/#3 -- but they don't want to feel like they're a lighthouse to obnoxiously horny men in town.
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 148
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Posted: 2/27/2018 8:24:36 PM
I don't take offense to it, or become frustrated.....after all, you don't know them to be a real person to begin with, so there shouldn't be any emotional investment into the conversation.

They start going down that path, I stop replying, I don't owe anyone anything much less an explanation

I think it's important for those who do that, to do so, because it will work with those who have those proclivities, you just aren't the one. I'm sure there are women who are desperately seeking this kind of validation, that they are desired, that someone things they are the hottest in the planet, etc.

I recently received an interesting proposal. We had already agreed on a date, location, time, etc. He wanted to continue to chat, and so we got to the point where a deal breaker was revealed (drug use). I informed him that while I don't see it going forward, we could still meet for that date. He wasn't even turned off by the idea of it not moving forward. He proposed that we take it further than the date and described a night of passion, focused on my pleasure, including the most expensive of everything (champagne, room, etc). I thought it was cute but I declined. He thought I had to appreciate his honesty..............as if sex were not something easily accessible for a woman. If only I were not so finicky about the idea of a 18 year sentence, and countless things you can get from a night of passion, I may have just been game about finding out just what the heck he thinks he can do.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 149
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Posted: 4/16/2018 4:46:50 AM
I told one guy last week we were not compatible because he kept calling me babes. He was nice about it so i felt bad then but i just hate being given pet names from people i do not know.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 150
Girls.. Does this happen to you?
Posted: 4/16/2018 8:05:56 AM
I hate getting called pet names no matter who calls me them, except maybe sweet little old ladies (they can get away with it). Everyone else makes me inwardly cringe inside. When a guy does it I want to swat him with a 50 kilogram flyswatter. Honey, darling, sweetie, sugar...yuck I hate it. Not raised around anyone who called each other pet names. Babe might me the exception but only occasionally.
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