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 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 76
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Allow me to re-explain: He asked me if I could take him to the airport at 5:30am and stay the night at my place.
I said no.


When he asked for your help, you deserted him, and your reaction is "ME-ME-ME"
When he deserted YOU - your reaction is "He's a coward!"

WHERE was your courage when the opportunity presented itself?
 gmoney1119
Joined: 7/5/2017
Msg: 77
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/18/2017 11:07:33 PM
that is not cool girl
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 78
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/19/2017 9:30:58 AM

When he asked for your help, you deserted him, and your reaction is "ME-ME-ME"
When he deserted YOU - your reaction is "He's a coward!"


Again, your comprehension is shit. I never called him a coward. You actually think it's reasonable to ask a person you've only known for a week for a ride to the airport at 5:30am when they worked until 10pm the previous night? I think anyone in their right mind would say no to that.

Feel free to chop this post up in a way that paints you in the better light.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 79
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/19/2017 2:06:04 PM
if I only knew someone for a week, I think I might still be trying to present an appearance of having my stuff together and being able to stand on my own two feet. And do I really want to rely on someone I only know for a week to save my bacon? Anyhoo, the story seems to have multiple red flags. Sounds like his big focus was gettin' some, and if its the dude you mentioned a while back, sounds like you had a gut feeling back then he was bad to make an emotional investment in, that it was just about the sex.

to borrow a popular phrase, it was what it was. and nothing more.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 80
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/19/2017 2:39:59 PM
I do find it strange that a guy's ONLY hope for a ride to the airport is a woman he's only known a week.

What the hell would he have done if he hadn't met her?? Not book the flight in the first place?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 81
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/19/2017 3:19:59 PM
siisaa, A person makes flight plans, purchases an airline ticket, etc. They have a plan set in motion to get TO the airport.

IF the plan involves finding a date, AND asking the person they met 1-2 weeks ago,
"Can I spend the night at your place and you can take me to the airport at 5:30, in the morning?

They are a buffoon! There is no way a person in their right mind would do that!

(LOL That guy was a Moron!)
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 82
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 10:45:17 AM
He found someone more convenient. Someone closer to home. Someone easier to use. What did you do wrong? Probably nothing. He just sounds like a self serving narcissist. He was "love bombing" you in the beginning. These types have this PUA routine down to a science. Two weeks and you were a couple? Yes, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Then the manipulation and deceptive behavior becomes the norm.

Don't even look at it as being dumped. How about this: God did for you what you could not do for yourself. It is a blessing in disguise. See it as such. You dodged the bullet. Thank your lucky stars. A man like that would only have continued to take from you. Let him go and be happy about it.

PS. Facebook and Snap chat, Instagram and Tinder ... all these social media outlets are the bane of our existence.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 83
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 1:06:00 PM

I never called him a coward.
What is the TITLE of your post again...?


You actually think it's reasonable to ask a person you've only known for a week for a ride to the airport at 5:30am when they worked until 10pm the previous night? I think anyone in their right mind would say no to that.
The point of my post is that you did not take a moment to consider his viewpoint or his plight. You only reaction was ME-ME-ME and jumped straight to slamming him.

Is is possible you could have had a discussion with him to find out how he got into his transport dilemma, best ways to sort it out, wishing him well on his trip, and perhaps making a plan to meet on his return? I guess not - easier to just SLAM the guy with full force because he paid you a little attention.

It's all about attitude. Sure, maybe the guy's a jerk - does that mean YOU have to be a jerk, too?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 84
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 3:04:04 PM

Facebook and Snap chat, Instagram and Tinder ... all these social media outlets are the bane of our existence.


We can't really blame the apps themselves, though. The problem is the users. The apps didn't create the narcissism, they merely exposed it.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 85
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 6:45:57 PM

What is the TITLE of your post again...?


That's the title of this thread, which I did not create. Quote where I called him a coward.


It's all about attitude. Sure, maybe the guy's a jerk - does that mean YOU have to be a jerk, too?


Saying "no" to an unreasonable & shady request is not being a jerk. WTF are you on?

Penny, God had nothing to do with this situation. And I never implied we were a couple. We were just dating.


I do find it strange that a guy's ONLY hope for a ride to the airport is a woman he's only known a week.


That's because there was probably never a flight in the first place. It was just a ploy to get pu$$y. Funny how after I told him "No" the flight was "cancelled".
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 86
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 7:11:11 PM
Siisaa. I did not make the mistake in thinking you were the opening poster. I was responding to her, not you. I responded without even reading through the whole thread. I didn't even know that your dating experience was being discussed. The opening poster says that they decided to be a couple after only 2 weeks.. Please do not be so defensive with me. I wasn't directing any comment I made here at you at all.

If I was going to respond to you I would simply say .. that you can be a kind, caring, wonderful person and still say NO to someone.

@PIG.. True, I am not blaming the apps themselves but they do pave the road so to speak for some unbecoming behavior from people to say the very least.
I have an acquaintance on FB that takes a picture of herself and posts selfies if not once sometimes three times a day. She gets like after like. A very beautiful woman, in appearance any way.

I read somewhere that science has equated the response in the brain to getting these "likes" or recognition and validation online is akin to a junkie getting off on smack. That there is a chemical reaction in the brain that is like an opiate... it releases dopamine or endorphins those peptides or whatever chemicals that activate the body's "opiate receptors", causing an "analgesic" effect. It is perhaps the narcissist ultimate high.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 87
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 7:28:56 PM
^^^ Siisaa posted her situation in #58. We've been responding to her situation since it's more current.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 88
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/20/2017 8:57:10 PM
Aha... Now I see. The thread went from last April to 9/14 when Sis resurrected it... but I was responding to the Opening Post.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 89
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 1:05:14 AM
Okay - I misunderstood & thought you were the OP


To his voicemail, I replied: "You're a liar. Goodbye."

Still...when you ask someone to leave - how is you think that YOU have been ghosted? Sure, he was gone a bit, but he did contact you again before YOU dismissed him.

Isn't ghosting more relevant to people who are INTERESTED ... and wonder where their intended went...? Perhaps when you said "Goodbye", you didn't mean "stop calling me" ...???
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 90
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 4:11:46 AM

I have an acquaintance on FB that takes a picture of herself and posts selfies if not once sometimes three times a day. She gets like after like. A very beautiful woman, in appearance any way.


Ha. She's a neophyte. The women I have on my Facebook probably post more than that per day. There's the daily car selfie, sitting at the desk at work selfie, the out to lunch selfie (obligatory shot of the food, as well), the relaxing at home after work selfie, the goodnight selfie, etc. Needless to say, I find myself asking "is it EVER ENOUGH?!?!" Attention is their gasoline.

Up until May of this year, I went two years without posting any new pictures on Facebook, and they were wondering what the hell was going on.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 91
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 8:18:56 AM
indeed, the internet is a wonderful tool for people to do what they were already inclined to do. And if they watch Kim Kardashian and everyone else who is famous for being famous, then they get convinced that their selfie makes sense, b/c that's how celebrities "brand" themselves, by Always Being On Display.

When we are young and immature, we want to be loved, or at least appreciated, by most of our classmates--well, the ones who aren't losers, right? FB can allow that inner child to continue getting attention after we've "grown up", and best of all, we can act like, hey, that's FB, we're not that shallow in real life, but everyone on the internet does selfies. Its just "accepted behavior", and we're keepin' up with the Joneses again. Like Pig said, if we ain't showing up on FB, there is something wrong going on.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 92
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 8:40:19 AM
^^^ I guess there's something wrong going on with me since this forum is my only online social presence...

Call me strange, but I just don't get social media. What is the payoff?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 93
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 9:21:00 AM
What really makes me laugh is when the excessive picture posting sometimes comes with a disclaimer that it isn't for attention, but for a noble cause.

There's a chick I know who had a photographer takes pictures of herself only in body paint, and she had various cutesie platitudes airbrushed on her that pertained to the Pulse shooting. She posted the pictures on Facebook and gave everyone permission to use any of them as their default picture as a tribute to the victims. So f*cking pretentious. This is just one example of many.

Everyone wants attention. I get it, and I don't completely subscribe to the concept of "modesty" per se, but some just take it way too far, and being dishonest about it just makes it worse.
 MizPurl
Joined: 6/11/2016
Msg: 94
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/21/2017 9:56:12 AM
I'm thankful for the choice to not follow some people on my list at all....:-)
I only have relatives and people I know but...sometimes it's hard to hold my tongue on their posts.
Never to be one known for my "decorum" amongst my dear friends and family....from the beginning of time.
I'm really trying to be more tolerable of fools...New saying..."Not my circus....grrrr

How about the ones... that fight constantly with their spouses and are crazier than a shit house mouse....posting about their glorious lives..
Selfies and pictures and posts of every damn thing going on in their lives is a bit much.OR...
the "I am woman..I am strong posts".....all for attention. Theres is only so many variations of memes saying the same thing....to like.
That said...I like to stay connected with relatives that live a distance away and it is a good tool for networking.

I block people from posting on my wall on my Birthday and hate to change my pic....
Is there a word for people ...not liking attention ? ...Normal?
Might be an oxy moron....since I post on here...lol.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 95
Why do people use FB as an excuse to act like a douche ?
Posted: 9/21/2017 10:05:17 AM
I have a friend who is constantly posting political crap and it comes across as " look what a good person I am " more than anything.

Thank God he doesn't talk like he posts in person. If he did, I'd avoid him like Michael Buble's voice.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 96
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/25/2017 2:57:15 PM

Everyone wants attention. I get it, and I don't completely subscribe to the concept of "modesty" per se, but some just take it way too far, and being dishonest about it just makes it worse.

The breast-feeding thing Purposely Open in public is in the same boat. I get it if you occasionally have to do it because of tight schedule, being imperfect at setting things up with breast milk that you put in a bottle, and have on-hand and aren't getting back home at the time. But some women will have galmour pictures taken of themselves on a park bench in public doing it, all dressed up (and down at the chest) -- to show off. They're doing it for attention, not for "freedom".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 97
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/26/2017 9:06:40 AM
Modern life is a bit strange, to me. I love computers, I love the internet, I love being able to look up anything, to find answers at a moment’s notice. I resisted Facebook for a long time, and then for several years I only used it to keep track of my granddaughters. These days, I am bombarded with messages about posts people have made.

I do a fair bit of socializing, going out to Meetup events, mostly live music and dancing. And I really do enjoy the socializing. But people take pictures, post them to Facebook, tag me in the pictures along with 50 other people, and then I get bombarded with “Jane Doe commented on a picture / post / event that you’re tagged in”. When this first started, I wasted a lot of time trying to see what people were saying, thinking it related to me. After a while, I realized it was people I didn’t know making comments to someone else I didn’t know, about something I was not involved in.

Most of the women that I actually know through real life, and are connected to on Facebook, do not post selfies. But they post pictures of each other, incessantly. And I swear to god, some of them are incapable of eating a meal without first posting a picture of the food on Facebook. What is it with that, anyway? Are women attracted to pictures of food the way men are attracted to pictures of scantily clad women?
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 98
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 9/26/2017 11:30:28 AM

What is it with that, anyway? Are women attracted to pictures of food the way men are attracted to pictures of scantily clad women?


Social media is their portal to feeling like a celebrity, and they assume everyone wants to know every last detail of their every move throughout the course of their average day.
 Be5758
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 99
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Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 10/1/2017 10:21:17 PM
I think some people are just liars and cheats I was seeing a guy named dave he is 62 lives in France now had brought house and was doing it up for us !!!! So he told me I blue think he was seeing a whole string of us off pof he worked as builder in London but had place in Northamptonshire too and house in London 3 adult kids all of that is true what he failed to tell me is he had wife in France .... of course I have now told her as I found out but like some of you he would disappear for week or so ... in reality he was away on holiday with his wife he is real monster .... nessy is more believable than him I first meet him in 2015 so if you have meet a Dave who has gone off radar likes a glass of red and lubes in France now ..., well he is in the Shite as I told his wife I had been seeing him for past two years ... so he is saying he has lost his memory I just want to help you if any of this rings familiar to you .... we should have page were we can inform that they are married .... he likes glass red favourite film pretty women was adopted ... and has laugh Luke did janes oh snd lived abroad when a child .... he did right calling himself after a ficticious Scottish monster nothing real about him
 a88ie100
Joined: 8/26/2017
Msg: 100
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 10/2/2017 4:15:20 AM
Ghosting i find is a situation that can have many reasons.

If its a guy who i know will try to barter me into dating or sleeping with them, relationship etc when i try to call it off then ill Ghost. Its not worth the abuse some of these people give you, Ive been called some pretty nasty names just for being honest and saying i dont feel chemistry and would like to discontinue dating.

Sometimes i wont tell them the truth as i am too nice of a person to hurt anyone's feelings so i think the freeze out is less of a slap in the face then say a flat out your ugly.... go away lol.
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