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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Racism is not sexy      Home login  
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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Racism is not sexyPage 2 of 41    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
You do know that his profile was not genuine dont you? Why get all upset by some jerk in cyberspace.
No exceptionally handsome man has to be here and who is financially viable.
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/6/2017 4:28:58 PM

I saw a profile of a caucasian woman, in her early 30's put on her profile that she was looking for black men only. I'm not really sure if this is racism, but it didn't look very good. Another woman I met told a black guy who messaged her that she doesn't prefer black guys and of course he took this as her being racist. Racism shouldn't even be tolerate on POF and when you headliners that say black guys only or anything like that should be up for account deletion.

You have got to be kidding. Some of you are really confused as to what racism is. Really, really confused.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 28
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/6/2017 4:32:57 PM

I have seen women mention in the Forums and/or in their profiles that they will only date bald men or men with beards. Or only date men with 6 years or more of college and/or make at least 100K a year. Initially I was annoyed by seeing this in a woman's profile, particularly if we were otherwise a great match. I soon figured out they were doing ME the favor by simply blankly/blindly equating "success" [for a man] to a college degree/income level.


Don't buy this for a second. One more bad person in the world is one more bad person in the world. It is immaterial that you think that they are doing you a favor. THEY EXIST among us. It is right and proper for people to be upset about them and to seek to have them rooted out and punished. Trust me because I KNOW HOW THEY ARE. Check my profile and see for yourself.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 29
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/6/2017 8:16:07 PM
I don't see the big deal, honestly. Of course, I understand some people's POV about the whole thing and how he is coming off but he doesn't have to like anybody just because other people thinks he should. I do agree that posting it is tacky and he's probably going to run off some women but for every one that he runs off, there will be one that will be perfectly fine with his views. His profile, his experience, his business.

Plus I highly doubt that he really has many black women messaging him anyway. Many women, regardless of race, won't make first contact.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 30
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/7/2017 8:33:08 AM

Another woman I met told a black guy who messaged her that she doesn't prefer black guys and of course he took this as her being racist. Racism shouldn't even be tolerate on POF and when you headliners that say black guys only or anything like that should be up for account deletion.


Not racist. But I think is unnecessary and tactless. If you're not interested in someone that emailed you, simply say no thanks or don't respond. Don't have to say the exact reason why. When a BBW emails me, I don't respond with "I'm not interested in fat women". Unless a woman specifically mentions her body type in her email such as "Would you be interested in a BBW?".
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/7/2017 10:24:56 AM
Some of you are also really confused as to the purpose of a profile in a dating site. Things like this aren't intrinsically tackless. Saying you do or don't like bbw people or people of a certain race is the whole point of the profile. It should be put in there if it's a factor and important. It's also the prerogative of the profile writer to put in there just a little of their criteria or a lot of them.
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 12/16/2016
Msg: 32
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/7/2017 11:25:16 AM
People can have whatever preferences they want - but it is not very polite to write some of those things so bluntly that it's offensive, ESPECIALLY when its about things that people cannot help because it's a biological condition. For instance, compare: "I WILL NEVER DATE A CRIPPLE!!!" - versus- "I'm very physically active and seek someone to keep up with me in the activities I enjoy".

Tact goes a LONG way in being polite to your fellow beings. I have had men freak out simply for my stating I'm a liberal and prefer liberals. I can only imagine how many guys would snap on me if I wrote: "I WILL NOT DATE ANY MAN WITH A SM*LL****!!" or "I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH A BALD GUY!" or "I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE UNDER 6 FEET!!!!!! or "I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE WHO MAKES LESS THAN SIX FIGURES!" Look at the fit thrown recently in another thread because some academics were saying they preferred fellow academics - the non higher educated began getting all butt hurt insisting education is easy to obtain and it doesn't mean anything, blah etc. One guy was so butt hurt he even alluded to it in this thread!

Anyways, I'm not a fan of the hypersensitive - I can't stand people that claim offense at the tiniest thing, but I also can't stand people that deliberately word things to hurt people. They are two sides of the same coin: egotistical jerk offs... As much as people have the "prerogative" to put what they want in the profile, they should remember its the prerogative of those they ask out to tell them no based on what they wrote. *end of rant*
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 33
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/7/2017 7:39:23 PM

Some of you are also really confused as to the purpose of a profile in a dating site. Things like this aren't intrinsically tackless. Saying you do or don't like bbw people or people of a certain race is the whole point of the profile. It should be put in there if it's a factor and important. It's also the prerogative of the profile writer to put in there just a little of their criteria or a lot of them.


I was responding to a post about emails. My point was when a person isn't interested in someone else that emails him/her, there is no need to state the exact reason why should that person choose to respond. As for the profile itself, there is a difference between stating "I am attracted to white men that have a fit / athletic body type" vs "DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE FAT OR NOT WHITE". The latter is tactless.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/7/2017 8:48:34 PM

"I WILL NEVER DATE A CRIPPLE!!!" - versus- "I'm very physically active and seek someone to keep up with me in the activities I enjoy".

Well, to be fair, those are statements about two Different things though. IMO, one shouldn't feel the need to write "Will not date a cripple / the handicapped", unless they're getting bombarded by such folk. If so, they should take another look at their existing profile and see what in the heck would be drawing that small minority of a demographic in so much.

"I WILL NOT DATE ANY MAN WITH A SM*LL****!!"

LOL. I think that on a profile would just be funny. I don't think anyone would take offense by reading it, but more like "Whoah (lol), I would pay money to hear some how & why she gets so upset about that concept...!"

"I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH A BALD GUY!"

Yeah, it's the All-Caps and Exclamation -- which denotes frustration and looking down on "such people" [insert demographic here] that makes it rude. However, what would be the alternative if said gal wants to weed out bald men? Is there a nice way to put it? "- No bald guys, please" wouldn't be That much better... but I guess "- Must have full head of hair" would be the most minimal. My point is, it's always going to irk at least some sensitive some people when you're 100% honest.

"I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE UNDER 6 FEET!!!!!!

"- Must be 6 foot or taller" -- even without the wigging-out version there, will get roughly the same reaction if the gal's about average (5'4") or shorter.

"I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE WHO MAKES LESS THAN SIX FIGURES!"

"- Must be making $100k+" -- would have much the same reaction, tho. I think a lot of guys won't take it so personally or offensive -- they'll think she's a gold-digger.

My point was when a person isn't interested in someone else that emails him/her, there is no need to state the exact reason why should that person choose to respond.

I agree. I don't think they are obligated to, nor should, respond. However, I don't see anything wrong with outlining the Whys if the person writes again pleading reasons why -- but that's all just theoretical / not-really-applicable.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 35
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/8/2017 7:20:53 AM


Look at the fit thrown recently in another thread because some academics were saying they preferred fellow academics - the non higher educated began getting all butt hurt insisting education is easy to obtain and it doesn't mean anything, blah etc. One guy was so butt hurt he even alluded to it in this thread!


Nobody on the "anti-education" side was "butt hurt". People on the losing side of an argument often try to rationalize the winners are "butt hurt", "jealous", and other infantile, delusional fantasies about the victor. We bashed you on the other thread because you tried to claim a degree is an accomplishment, and we ridiculed your errors in spelling, grammar, and logic.

In addition, people on the "anti education" side may not be "non higher educated". I have a professional degree from a prestigious engineering university. People who have been to college have firsthand knowledge many college people are idiots, witnessing idiot classmates and staff.


As already said, the OP obviously fell for a fake. The supposed "rich" guy isn't rich (anyone can claim they're rich), and his "handsome" photo was of someone else. Anyone with half a brain could easily suspect him as fake. She fell for his photo and his initial text about being rich, then was traumatized upon reading the part about blacks because she had already built up such a delusion about him. A legit person won't go after someone with no photo / "just here for the forums".


As others already said, saying "NO BLACK (WO)MEN" is _not_ racist. Calling such text racist is an insult to victims of actual racism. People with such profiles might be racist, but stating a preference doesn't do anything racist. Racism is actions that cause harm. Many people claim "racism" when the behavior is actually just bigotry. Not dating some races isn't necessarily bigoted either.

I for one prefer to know up front if I'm not part of someone's requirements. Ideally they'll have it in their headline, screen name, default photo, or the first 100 or so characters in their about me). Then I won't have to click on their profile. It happens quite often, a headline "Black men only!"

People in the requirement are justified in avoiding them too. A black man might skip a white woman who screams "Black men only!" because he wants someone who likes him as an individual, not a chocolate fetish. Tall men are justified in dismissing any woman who says the typical "you must be at least 6', I wear heels".

I've found the so called "liberals" are most likely to exclude people based on race and other things they cannot control. For example, a far left wing former forumite (the one who claimed to be an author; she whined about how much she hated people in her right wing town) said she doesn't want to date anyone outside her race, this being because of an experience with *one* Hispanic man. Meanwhile she made many posts expressing dissatisfaction with (obviously white) men she had dated, but didn't exclude whites based on their undesired behavior. Her dating only whites isn't what made her racist; if anything, she was doing all the ethnic people a favor by not being with them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 36
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Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/8/2017 9:23:41 AM

"I WILL NOT DATE ANY MAN WITH A SM*LL****!!" or "I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH A BALD GUY!" or "I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE UNDER 6 FEET!!!!!! or "I WILL NEVER DATE SOMEONE WHO MAKES LESS THAN SIX FIGURES!"


Sounds like they are talking about me...
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 12/16/2016
Msg: 37
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/8/2017 1:06:50 PM
Oh puhlease... The statement that getting an education is easy, its not a real accomplishment because anyone can do it while alluding to it in THIS thread was what gave your butt hurt away.

Look, im the first one to say education is often classist baloney because its not financially accessible to all people. But to claim its EASY and ANYONE can do it is ludicrous. Getting an advanced degree is a LOT of teeth pulling in work. You only downplayed it cause you felt beneath the people who DID accomplish it. And no one set out to MAKE you feel that way, people were speaking tactfully. You CHOSE to feel that way.

I worked two jobs while going to school. Staying up 4 hours minimum every night extra to write 50 page reports on DRY analysis of planar mathematics and its implications for astro engineering. Giving ALL my money plus going an wxtra 30K in hock, to hear ANYONE CAN DO IT AND ITS SOOOOO EASY- get bent
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 12/16/2016
Msg: 38
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/8/2017 1:53:24 PM
It seems in the end instead of being grossed at someone's blatant display of prejudice, I should be thankful they put it out there because it prevented me from wasting my time. In fact, maybe if we put all the shitty tendencies we have right out there it would cut through a TON of bs. Pick folks based on what level of bullcrap you can endure instead of buy an illusion only to find out the truth years and thousands of dollars later
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 39
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/8/2017 2:12:49 PM
^^^I've done the completely honest profile content for years in various forms
Admittedly there's not much on it at the moment
The pressure is off straight away, I've nothing to 'live up to' no guard to drop etc
Just turns out I'm naturally fantastic :)

OT.....I'm a soft touch but not attracted to guys who show signs of racism, sexism etc, I don't like the judgemental/arrogant element of it.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 40
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/9/2017 10:00:25 AM
I seen my fair share of profiles like that or as like to call it "The Jim Crow Profiles" that state their preference about ethnicity they want to date. The thing with that like with anything is choice meaning who you would like and who chooses you. We have no control over who is attracted to us. What we do have control over is who we respond to and how we respond to them.

For instance if I get hit up by women I'm not feeling I just don't answer their emails yet online you have folks who want to make headlines mentioning their racial preference as that is supposed to deter them. If anything that will make that person want to pursue you even more.

As far as the whole "I only date black men" thing. I been with women like that and it's been my experience that they are into black men who fit a stereotype (i.e. Ghetto) or black male that reminds them of the father of their children. In my opinion, they are just as narrow minded as bigots who racially profile. Just saying.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 41
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/9/2017 2:34:18 PM
When dealing with you want to date and allow into your personal life, that is personal.
It is not as you are hiring someone or to do business with.

Who you want to fell comfortable and spend your life with is critical.

When it comes to your personal life, is a personal decision. Screw the political correction.
Some may called it racism, discrimination or my word is preferences. Either way I find it very acceptable to discriminate upon dating. People that are offended by why he/she did not choose me cause of my race, find someone else.

You do not want someone to violate your rights as much as the person who refuse to date you cause of your race to violate his/her right of their decision.

It falls on both ends
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/9/2017 3:01:29 PM
Once I lamented to a friend/coworker, why do people do dumb things? So he corrected me. "They don't think what they are doing is dumb. They think they are doing the smart thing." A man posting on his profile something the rest of the world thinks is stupid, may very well not realize what he's doing is stupid. he thinks what he's doing is smart. He does the gene pool a favor by exposing right off the bat, his mental process. And yet still, yes, he shall find a woman who has the same background as he, which is likely what led the both of them to think what he did, was smart.

what works for one person, may not work for another. is that a bad thing? if it hurts another human, yes. But if someone reveals a bias against a group of people, and that group of people is able to avoid an uncomfortable first date as a result...have they been hurt, or have they been helped?

oh, their ego has been hurt, but have they been helped to dodge a proverbial bullet?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/10/2017 6:32:42 AM

As far as the whole "I only date black men" thing. I been with women like that and it's been my experience that they are into black men who fit a stereotype (i.e. Ghetto) or black male that reminds them of the father of their children. In my opinion, they are just as narrow minded as bigots who racially profile. Just saying.


I knew a black man that went out on a few dates with a white woman. He claims she lost interest because he "wasn't black enough for her". In some cases, it can be a fetish / experiment. Such as the divorced middle aged white woman that wants "to try" a black man because she had never dated one before. Having said that, I do think there are some white women that are simply more physically attracted to black men with any hidden agenda or ulterior motive.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 44
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/10/2017 7:30:06 PM
Many people that are rejected push racism.
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/11/2017 6:13:20 AM
There's nothing wrong with having a particular preference - for whatever reason - although it can be annoying when some people projection other traits that are unrelated to that particular preference.

As for ALL CAPS-NO BLACK WOMEN guy, the problem isn't with the preference, but the need to broadcast like that. It kind of comes off like the boss at work who views himself as so important that he/she doesn't want anyone under a certain pay-grade in their presence or he's working out some weird grudges - like how VikingHoosier keeps shoe-horning rants about liberals on issues where that completely unrelated.

Funny thing, is most of the "women" who contact most guys here are Black Males from Nigeria - so he's getting plenty of POC attention :-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 46
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Racism is not sexy
Posted: 2/11/2017 1:43:02 PM

As others already said, saying "NO BLACK (WO)MEN" is _not_ racist. Calling such text racist is an insult to victims of actual racism.

Well first, inarguably, it's racial. But that mere Concept alone isn't necessarily a bad thing, like when it comes to casting someone for a role to fit a certain character, or a preference on a certain race when it comes to personal tastes or hiring/casting said person to speak to particular audiences, etc.

But if it's in a notably negative Or positive manner, just based on race in and of itself, it's racist -- and it is written like that, given the context. If I put in my profile "NO RED HEADED WOMEN!" I'm expressing negativity toward redheads, plain and simple. So it's the context that matters -- if one's talking about being racial within a dating sphere, workplace, or all of life in general.

Much the same as a gal saying in a profile:
"I get a lot of messages a day, so being particular to my tastes, I will pretty much only consider a guy who's 5'10" or taller, in good shape."
VS
"NO SHORTIES! AND NOBODY OUT OF SHAPE!"

I will also say "I ONLY DATE [BLACK | WHITE] MEN!!" is racist -- it's putting one race above others... it's racist within one's taste sphere. It can become/seen as Generally racist in a context like That one, given the tone not just being merely a "taste-I-cant-help-it". AT LEAST within the dating or social sphere, in That context, they are not only seeing one as superior, but they're also ugh/frustrated looking-Down on the others -- again, when it comes to the dating sphere. And one calling on the same race Like That is going to imply they have a racist mindset, at least to some degree.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 47
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/12/2017 4:23:17 AM

I knew a black man that went out on a few dates with a white woman. He claims she lost interest because he "wasn't black enough for her". In some cases, it can be a fetish / experiment. Such as the divorced middle aged white woman that wants "to try" a black man because she had never dated one before. Having said that, I do think there are some white women that are simply more physically attracted to black men with any hidden agenda or ulterior motive.


Funny you should mention that. On other dating sites I got hit up by white women who fit that description, but for the most part I usually get messaged by white women who dated several black men in the past and even were married to black men or have kids by them. Me being me, I give people the benefit of the doubt but soon as they open their mouth it’s a whole bunch of preconceived notions about who I am (or supposed to be) I lose interest.
One would think that people like that wouldn’t be close minded, but when you have some white women all of sudden thinking that they are better experts on your own “culture” than you it’s a problem. Hell, if they like lowlifes so be it. Just don’t automatically assume that because I’m black that I’m like other black males you been with in the past. We are just as different and multilayered as any group of people out there. Free your mind.



Many people that are rejected push racism.


Who are these people? Hell, if someone doesn’t like me, that’s it. Next!
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 48
Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/13/2017 6:15:17 PM

As far as the whole "I only date black men" thing. I been with women like that and it's been my experience that they are into black men who fit a stereotype (i.e. Ghetto) or black male that reminds them of the father of their children. In my opinion, they are just as narrow minded as bigots who racially profile. Just saying.




I knew a black man that went out on a few dates with a white woman. He claims she lost interest because he "wasn't black enough for her". In some cases, it can be a fetish / experiment. Such as the divorced middle aged white woman that wants "to try" a black man because she had never dated one before. Having said that, I do think there are some white women that are simply more physically attracted to black men with any hidden agenda or ulterior motive.


I know some white women who are just attracted to black men. It has nothing to do with some weird fantasy that they have so I agree with you on that South and also just like you said, there are some that want to "try it" as if it's some kind of experiment. I've had white men message me and the first thing that they focused on was my race. At least it lets you know right off what they're after and what their motives are but it's very creepy. And I wish that I could say that this has only happened once but nope.... It's happened quite a few times and I know it's not just white men. No matter who is doing it, it's still creepy, gross, weird and shows a lack of intelligence.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 49
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Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/13/2017 8:26:17 PM
Madame B. wrote, quoting someone's profile:


"I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DATE BLACK WOMEN!!!!!!"


I don't think having a preference for not dating black women is racism.....it's a preference.....but the stridency here is kind of offensive....and he's likely a racist, because of this stridency. If that makes any sense.

If I was not attracted to women with large breasts, I'd just simply avoid messages from women with large breasts. I wouldn't put "I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DATE WOMEN WITH LARGE BREASTS!!!!!!! on my profile because it's insensitive and douchebaggy.

Not that I have a problem being bombarded with messages from black women, women with large breasts, black women with large breasts.............or women with vaginas, for that matter.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 50
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Racism is not sexy but it can get you elected
Posted: 2/13/2017 8:35:37 PM
Madame wrote:


write 50 page reports on DRY analysis of planar mathematics and its implications for astro engineering


Sheesh...Big Bang Theory type stuff. I dated kind of a "sciency" type woman once....after forth or fifth date, we were prepared to hit the 'ol sack......and she goes out to her car and brings a microscope up to the bedroom. A microscope! One of those beginner-type kits you buy at the science store. I guess she didn't consider... that bringing a microscope into a guy's bedroom, right before you're gonna do it......well, ya know...maybe that's a bit.....um..."confidence killing," so to speak?

Can't remember what I said, but it was probably something like, "Uhh....why are you bringing a microscope up to my bedroom, right before we're going to have sex!?"....and she says it's to look at my sperm cells after I, um...ya know. Sheesh... "Well, OK" I thought, fair enough. So she helped me ...um....provide the sample...and then collected it and took it into the bathroom with her scope and I heard a squeal of delight....right when I was dozing off.....and she called me in to look.....Sure enough, there they were, under the 'scope...shouldn't have been surprised, I mean, I've had enough science classes, and all. We did see the sperm tadpole thingys, wiggling away. And no this not a Big Bang Theory script.
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