Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Racism is not sexy      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 101
view profile
History
Racism is not sexyPage 5 of 41    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Every person is different, thankfully. I wouldn't date someone I considered racist and broke up with one guy for using a racist word. But, supposedly there's a lid for every pot, so.
In the case you mention, I've seen some similar. I just think...Ohhhh-k. So glad I have a delete button and not waste more time. Maybe some think the same of me. I just move on.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 102
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/5/2017 8:46:26 PM

he wrote in all capital letters with many exclamation points that he did not want to date black women.


Probably just put that there because he doesn't want to get involved with any white women who date black men.
 GoodLord1
Joined: 2/21/2017
Msg: 103
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/7/2017 6:46:16 AM
I read a woman's profile that said you MUST have a boat and it is not to be a skiff.
I also have read many profiles that said if you were a Trump supporter not to message her.
I have also read that if you have a beard do not write.
I have also read where you MUST be at least 5'11 to date her.
I have also read that you must be a professional or you MUST have a college degree.
I have also read that you must not like NASCAR.
I have seen headlines that read in caps I ONLY DATE BLACK MEN. NO WHITE MEN.

same thing as the not dating black women. a preference. not racism.
some people find black women unattractive, or any race for that matter.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 104
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/7/2017 9:01:17 AM

You look just fine. Nothing to worry about.

Thanks cooldog

I feel we all have our standards our likes and dislikes.
I'm sure some are put off by reading it.
Some will miss out on a good person because of it.
I was one who like dark long hair, 5'11"+, biker.
I fell in love with a blond, 5'6", businessman.
Now I know (or learned) love comes in different packages.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 105
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/7/2017 10:27:44 AM
...and the take-away from this thread should be, to repeat what I said earlier: Having dating preferences based on race is not racism. It might have racist reasons in many cases, but it itself isn't intrinsically racism. To think so is to be retarded. To allege it, just because you're cry-babying about someone not being attracted to you because of race...is what is wrong. And stating these preferences in all caps in a profile should be no big deal at all. Complaining about someone using all caps in their profile as if they're "not supposed to do it" or that it means they're racist...in fact makes you the retarded one. And whether or not someone is closing themselves off from those who they might find attractive because they're ignoring everyone of that race...is just a case of them being dumb, but not racist.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 106
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/8/2017 6:26:56 AM

I read a woman's profile that said you MUST have a boat and it is not to be a skiff.
I also have read many profiles that said if you were a Trump supporter not to message her.
I have also read that if you have a beard do not write.
I have also read where you MUST be at least 5'11 to date her.
I have also read that you must be a professional or you MUST have a college degree.
I have also read that you must not like NASCAR.
I have seen headlines that read in caps I ONLY DATE BLACK MEN. NO WHITE MEN.

same thing as the not dating black women. a preference. not racism.
some people find black women unattractive, or any race for that matter.


Again, it is okay for people not be physically attracted to certain groups. However I have seen profiles that state I dislike people that are ( or do not contact me if you are ) shorter than me, uneducated, fat, Muslim, black, white etc". In my viewpoint, that is tactless and has a negative tone.

It is better to be more positive and state what you are interested in such as "I am looking for a white man" or "I am attracted to men with a fit / athletic body type". The manner in which how requirements are stated on a profile can be a dealbreaker to some people that actually match said requirements
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 107
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/8/2017 11:30:14 AM
Agreed south_city. Having a bunch of negativity on one's profile won't render positive results. Furthermore, they're usually the ones complaining about how they can't find anyone. Wonder why? LOL

I also find it funny when people have such strict stipulations for a partner but when you look at them, they're not even all that themselves. Delusions of grandeur is another affliction of OLD.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 108
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/8/2017 1:31:17 PM
msg: 109

I'm not convinced that negativity is all that important. It used to be...say about 5 years ago... but not anymore. Smart phones really sent OLD down the john. People swipe on pictures and then move on. Profiles aren't seen.

OLD is not very hard for decent women. They are only online for a few days and they get somebody. The women that are online for more than a week or so are undesirable. Many are deluded but most just simply use the wrong ruler to measure their attractiveness.

For men, it is a little different. Word is that ALL men are rapists, pedophiles and alcoholics. A man has to be so handsome that a woman is willing to risk being raped and murdered to get anywhere. Who wants to be snuffed by a creep? It doesn't matter what a man says in his profile. Even when it is read, the women assume that it is all lies anyway.
 chad196565
Joined: 2/16/2017
Msg: 109
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/8/2017 4:02:20 PM
Maybe he had the same experience I am having here. I have been contacted by several females of a different race then I am, so I finally said something about it on my profile. I just stated I have never dated outside my race and I doubt I would be starting to now. If a person considers that racist that's their problem not mine. It's a preference. Mine, one I have a right to the same as the guy your talking about or anyone else who has a preference whether it be they only date black, or Hispanics, or Muslims, you get the picture.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 110
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/9/2017 7:14:46 PM
Mz Informed wrote:
[What? "Black guys" are only attracted to your type of body? You're being a tad bit stereotypical, don't you think?]

Nope, happens to be true, most of my dating life,,,
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 111
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/9/2017 7:23:58 PM
Drinksthesun wrote:
[...and the take-away from this thread should be, to repeat what I said earlier: Having dating preferences based on race is not racism. It might have racist reasons in many cases, but it itself isn't intrinsically racism. To think so is to be retarded. To allege it, just because you're cry-babying about someone not being attracted to you because of race...is what is wrong. And stating these preferences in all caps in a profile should be no big deal at all. Complaining about someone using all caps in their profile as if they're "not supposed to do it" or that it means they're racist...in fact makes you the retarded one. And whether or not someone is closing themselves off from those who they might find attractive because they're ignoring everyone of that race...is just a case of them being dumb, but not racist.]


He gets it,
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 112
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/9/2017 8:13:04 PM

Nope, happens to be true, most of my dating life,,,


LOL. You may get emails from black men. You may have black men approach you at bars or other social settings. However that doesn't necessarily mean most black men in general or even the ones that showed interest in you ONLY date women with your body type. Many of these men could have had previous girlfriends, wives, sex partners, dates etc that were thin or fit. You don't know that.

Just like when a black man gets emails from white women, some of these women may only or mostly date blacks because that's what they are attracted to. But for others, race may not be a factor. They may have dated men from various races.
 therainman2
Joined: 3/4/2017
Msg: 113
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/9/2017 8:40:07 PM
This isn't racism, it is preference and while he may have offended you by putting it so large and in bold, he likely wanted to make it clear because a lot of black women have approached him and maybe after telling them he's not attracted to them, they got angry. I know plenty of blacks, whites, Hispanics, ect that will state in bold that they only date their own. There is nothing wrong with that.
 beercookies
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/10/2017 8:28:10 AM
I can understand the wanting to "date within your own culture" part of it, because the approval of family can factor highly.

Racism though, is not just about burning crosses on a lawn only or wielding power against certain groups, or even necessarily being hostile. It's always patronizing and mostly superior... It can be the mindset that categorizes people without knowing them. That's not a bright quality and who wants to be around dumbasses.

There can be "positive" stereotyping, but it's still dehumanizing. You have no shortcut to treating people for who they are as individuals. You can treat people politely and still be racist. It's about whether you truly are open to getting to know a person with out preconceptions.

All humans can be and mostly are racist. It's a conditioning we have to unlearn. "Sticking to one's own"-fine, do it, but do not furnish reasons that imply this group is ___, or these groups are like this, because that happens a lot and people do not call it racism when it clearly is.

The denial of being racist is a common thing lately, like saying you hate Muslims and lots agree with that. Its no different than saying you hate Christianns or gays. I bet you they have never met a Muslim or gay person knowingly. You have to be ignorant really to have antipathy and dehumanize people you know nothing about.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 115
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/10/2017 10:15:09 PM

I can understand the wanting to "date within your own culture" part of it, because the approval of family can factor highly.

Racism though, is not just about burning crosses on a lawn only or wielding power against certain groups, or even necessarily being hostile. It's always patronizing and mostly superior... It can be the mindset that categorizes people without knowing them. That's not a bright quality and who wants to be around dumbasses.

There can be "positive" stereotyping, but it's still dehumanizing. You have no shortcut to treating people for who they are as individuals. You can treat people politely and still be racist. It's about whether you truly are open to getting to know a person with out preconceptions.

All humans can be and mostly are racist. It's a conditioning we have to unlearn. "Sticking to one's own"-fine, do it, but do not furnish reasons that imply this group is ___, or these groups are like this, because that happens a lot and people do not call it racism when it clearly is.

The denial of being racist is a common thing lately, like saying you hate Muslims and lots agree with that. Its no different than saying you hate Christianns or gays. I bet you they have never met a Muslim or gay person knowingly. You have to be ignorant really to have antipathy and dehumanize people you know nothing about.

This is what's fucked up about all of this - Everything here ^ is about actual racism. However, we are talking about dating preferences. You don't have to know someone to not be romantically attracted to them. Knowing them "as a person" hasn't got a single shit to do with it. This kind of "categorizing" is extremely benign in every way, and not racist at all. Yes, even when cutting out a whole ethnicity. Knowing someone "as a person on the inside" is a huge part of being attracted to them for dating, but you can like who someone is "on the inside" all the fuck you want...but if you're not attracted to them physically, then you aren't. And not a single damned thing is going to change that, and it doesn't need to. And that doesn't mean that you're "prejudging" them in the way that we mean when we speak of the social problem of racism. Stupid fucks.

Since we're talking about not being attracted to anyone of a race because of their race, is that the same thing that we usually mean by "racism"? No. It's not. You folks are some disgusting retarded fucked up jackasses, period. You don't get to drop the racism-card like this and insult the fight against the real thing. Unless you're a fucked up jackass. You read that right - disgusting retarded fucked up jackass. Need to read it again? Go back two sentences and do so.

You got a bunch of examples of how a person's reason for not being interested in a certain race is from shallow stereotyping...and you think that proves your point? No, it doesn't. It just demonstrates further that you are an insecure disgusting retarded fucked up jackass. The reason for a person's lack of being attracted to a whole race can be racist...but another person's reason can be completely different and not racist in any way - and that means that the state of not being interested in or attracted to anyone of a certain race is not racism. You're a disgusting disrespectful insecure fuck if you insist that it is.
 beercookies
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/11/2017 4:40:34 PM
Actually you seem kinda defensive and misread the point, but carry on raging. I was not suggesting one should date ANYBODY, that one does not have preferences, or aren't allowed to discriminate based on culture or looks or personality.

As for saying a whole race is not attractive, I think it's just a closed minded way to think, but it's their right to be that way, as it's my right to think they are. I have not dated every race, am not advocating such, but the CAPs disclaimer would have put me off because of the mindset of "never", and the reasons behind it.


Everything here ^ is about actual racism. However, we are talking about dating preferences. You don't have to know someone to not be romantically attracted to them. Knowing them "as a person" hasn't got a single shit to do with it. This kind of "categorizing" is extremely benign in every way, and not racist at all.


Nobody said "date all races, and date people you do not find attractive. If somebody said I do not date white people, and it was prevalent across the board, you might wonder about such held preferences. Some are preferences, some may be based on a race ideology. However, nowhere did I say such a person SHOULD date a certain race. The dating categorizing--is for the best, bc it eliminates people you aren't compatible with. DUH, I never said ALL people who choose to date only certain races are prejudiced and should date ALL races--that's your black and white mindset.

Needing to make bold caps rants vs simply not respond to anybody you aren't attracted to, is something you understand, got it.

Yes, even when cutting out a whole ethnicity. Knowing someone "as a person on the inside" is a huge part of being attracted to them for dating, but you can like who someone is "on the inside" all the **** you want...but if you're not attracted to them physically, then you aren't.


NO SHIT. That's not my post.


And not a single damned thing is going to change that, and it doesn't need to. And that doesn't mean that you're "prejudging" them in the way that we mean when we speak of the social problem of racism. Stupid ****s.


Things are not ALWAYS separated. SOME people aren't racist in thought, and simply prefer to date a certain race, and then you have the others who broadcast their ignorant bias, and still, I never said they should date those they deem unattractive. Hence the thread. You think it's NEVER racist in dating. A guy with a preference, does not make a spectacle of banning groups, he just responds to his preference.


Since we're talking about not being attracted to anyone of a race because of their race, is that the same thing that we usually mean by "racism"? No. It's not. You folks are some disgusting retarded ****ed up jackasses, period.

Look in the mirror.


You don't get to drop the racism-card like this and insult the fight against the real thing. Unless you're a ****ed up jackass. You read that right - disgusting retarded ****ed up jackass. Need to read it again? Go back two sentences and do so.

Your momma would be proud. You are not the arbiter of thought and teller of what is racist or not, why don't you go F yourself?
There is no race card, stop dropping dumbass catchphrase, like racist ideology is not everywhere.


You got a bunch of examples of how a person's reason for not being interested in a certain race is from shallow stereotyping...and you think that proves your point? No, it doesn't. It just demonstrates further that you are an insecure disgusting retarded ****ed up jackass.


Projecting again.


The reason for a person's lack of being attracted to a whole race can be racist...but another person's reason can be completely different and not racist in any way - and that means that the state of not being interested in or attracted to anyone of a certain race is not racism. You're a disgusting disrespectful insecure **** if you insist that it is


You read what you wanted to read, not what I said. Anyway, talk about disgusting, disrespectful insecure do not even bother me with more abuse. I got no time for this shit.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/12/2017 10:14:46 AM
This is why these forums are so fun. Rock on.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/15/2017 6:23:50 AM
Using caps is seen to convey anger and a raised voice. His use of several exclamation marks emphasises this further.

He might be open to other races but certainly not black women which is fine. Nevertheless his manner of expressing his preference gives a good indication of his character and maturity. These I feel will turn off most grounded women irrespective of race.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 119
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/15/2017 7:03:30 AM
amusing that the people who state their preferences get so pissy when someone won't talk with them because of " their" preferences.
Are there really so many black women messaging him he had to scream about it on his profile? Doubtful
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 120
view profile
History
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/15/2017 9:17:57 AM
Racism is not sexy, but Damilovely is...
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 121
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/15/2017 12:08:22 PM

amusing that the people who state their preferences get so pissy when someone won't talk with them because of " their" preferences.
Are there really so many black women messaging him he had to scream about it on his profile? Doubtful


I agree. Pretty sure there aren't that many black women sending him messages to begin with.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 122
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/16/2017 9:26:03 PM

I remember seeing a profile where a woman stated that she wanted to date a white man 3 times. She mentioned it on the headline, about me section, and on the interests. People can date whoever they want. But the way a requirement is stated can be a dealbreaker to someone that actually matches said requirements..


I tell women like that to stick with cousin Billybobdannyfrank. ;)

I find it especially funny, when women say they won't date a black, and then they make appointments for the tanning salon.

I ask them if they hypocrite all the time? Or is this a special instance?
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 123
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/28/2017 6:26:27 PM
Just because I refuse to date Hispanic and black women does not make me raciest.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 124
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/29/2017 8:25:36 AM
I dont date martians they have 3 breasts and that's confusing all other I might think about it. What does that make me I dont date outside humans.
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 125
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/31/2017 10:15:25 AM
I don't put 'preferences' on my profile because people get hurt feelings, but the man should be allowed to date who he wants to date without being labeled a racist. My opinion is that he had a very bad experience and doesn't care to repeat it.

I have a weird preference, but I don't put that in my profile. I wont date anyone named Andy. I did have an Andy contact me once. He offered to change his name for me (haha very funny!) after I told him he has the same name as my abusive ex-husband.

Sorry in advance to all the Andy's out there. The name triggers me.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Racism is not sexy