Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > It just doesn't matter      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 25
It just doesn't matterPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
OP you got to keep trying but your age more like a bar scene sort of thing. However better pictures, solid profile you shouldn't have much of a problem. Keep your chin up you are way to young to even be effected with world out to get you junk. Whatever obstacles you face just push yourself through them eventually cards are going to fall in your favor.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 26
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/15/2017 2:19:04 AM

Can you explain why you think he's incorrect?


Yes, he think that looks are the only thing that matters when they're just part of the equation. He's not even thinking about style, congruence, being non-needy, being self amused, having social value, having a good social circle, being on his purpose, etc.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 27
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/15/2017 11:01:01 AM

style, congruence, being non-needy, being self amused, having social value, having a good social circle, being on his purpose, etc.


All that in an introductory profile?

Way too much work.

I don't think all those women swiping, swiping, swiping on their iPhones are considering all that in the split seconds they take to make a snap judgment.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 28
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/15/2017 11:06:50 PM

All that in an introductory profile?

Way too much work.

I don't think all those women swiping, swiping, swiping on their iPhones are considering all that in the split seconds they take to make a snap judgment.


You can imply most of those things in a profile, or through messages, yes. That's what makes one average looking dude stand out from another average looking dude. All you really need to do is communicate preselection since it assumes all the other traits of a high value male.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 7:43:14 AM

All that in an introductory profile?

Way too much work.

I don't think all those women swiping, swiping, swiping on their iPhones are considering all that in the split seconds they take to make a snap judgment.

I agree that's too much to Write about in a profile to try and give that impression of all those attributes. The key flaw to online is a combination of people being too picky in general + freeze-frame pics have a heavy burden. I agree just raw looks in freeze-frame pics have a Much bigger burden on something like Tinder as you point out... but POF is a bit different. One has more leeway to offer more -- or shall I say, giving the reader a sense of satisfaction that they're more grounded in life when that's what one's looking for. But those are just key attributes (Oh, he's a Manager with a Bachelor's Degree + pics looking well grounded).

I believe I'm more realistic than Coma is about the looks thing -- But OP proved that a couple Good looking pics is all one needs to worry about for their 'luck', and that it can certainly fail. His primary photo was great. And his 3rd photo out of 4 was good and showed him next to the Stanley Cup in hockey gear. His profile though -- was bad. Combine that with 2 of his pics looking kinda weird (not ugly; but still a facet of one's look) -- and one can see why he'd be weeded out, despite his half his photos looking notably Good.

I will say one's style = looks, their body language = looks (applicable in person), and getting a feeling/reading on how they are as a person is Drawn from Looks online, too. The written profile though will totally shift the later which is a very important part of looks. So IMO, the lesson is: On a profile-driven website, your profile itself won't draw them in as much as it has the potential to scoot them out.
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 12/16/2016
Msg: 30
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 9:34:56 AM

I don't think all those women swiping, swiping, swiping on their iPhones are considering all that in the split seconds they take to make a snap judgment.


I would agree that the bulk of people judge based on pictures alone, but I would also say most folks are shallow and the deeper people, the quality people, read the profile immediately after the seeing the picture and rule them out based upon what it says.

I will swipe left on men I feel averse to physically, but the ones who fit my aesthetic I read about before writing - because no amount of physical attraction can get me to date someone I don't respect intellectually. I think most sane people who know themselves and what they need will fill that bill.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 31
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 11:08:37 AM
I never saw the OP's picture...but 24 years old....and complaining about OLD here?! To the OP.....please get out and get to the clubs...join groups....go to school. OLD should be a backup. Living life is where you'll find the greatest success at your age. There will be OLD decades later when you will be forced to do it because all your friends will be married, you'll look weird at younger crowd nightclubs, and your pool of prospectives dries up. Get out there and live life! IIRC Ft McMurray is the tar-sands capital, roughnecks, and likely you won't have many women up there....so it will have to be a life change, and a move for you, if you want to get serious and among more like-minded younger folks.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 32
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 11:26:51 AM
It's true, you must meet the woman's attraction bar or nothing is going to happen.

Make sure you stay in shape.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 33
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 12:39:34 PM

I agree that's too much to Write about in a profile to try and give that impression of all those attributes. The key flaw to online is a combination of people being too picky in general + freeze-frame pics have a heavy burden. I agree just raw looks in freeze-frame pics have a Much bigger burden on something like Tinder as you point out... but POF is a bit different. One has more leeway to offer more -- or shall I say, giving the reader a sense of satisfaction that they're more grounded in life when that's what one's looking for. But those are just key attributes (Oh, he's a Manager with a Bachelor's Degree + pics looking well grounded).


I agree that online dating has its limits, so having quality pictures is important. There are still a lot of ways to communicate value though, and that's where these guys are dropping the ball. I still see stupid headlines like "Hoping for some luck." They should be using their headline, profile, and messages to communicate value, not the idea that they're lonely and hoping some woman will give them a chance.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 34
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 1:05:52 PM
I think that taking sites like this way too seriously to find someone is a mistake. It is a free site and you get what you pay for.
Attractive, sane, intelligent, successful people are out there in real life and not lurking in these muddy waters. Some desirable genuine people may come here with good intentions but are soon disillusioned and leave.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 35
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 2/16/2017 2:23:53 PM
You definitely won't have success without a picture on your profile.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 36
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:23:16 AM
A few pictures and a bio with some info if fine for OLD; then get on with living your real life while checking in ever so often.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 37
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/16/2017 6:45:54 AM

(Msg 35): It is a free site and you get what you pay for.


Would that apply in real life as well-where you meet somebody while out and about or at work, without spending any money to meet the person? Do you object to getting free meals and drinks when somebody takes you out on a date? What dollar amount do you place on meeting someone worthy of your company?
 Lebenselixier
Joined: 10/13/2016
Msg: 38
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/17/2017 10:25:00 PM
I could not agree more about the user name. I don't think people consider that often but it can, in some cases, really say a lot about the person.
 haymama
Joined: 8/22/2015
Msg: 39
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/18/2017 1:48:23 PM
I wholeheartedly agree with you!! I feel like I'm "average" looking and certainly do not receive many emails, other than the youngins who aren't looking for relationships or the scammers that are based on an oil rig in Syria and hope to come back to the area as they are struggling with the death of their wife.....I'm not "catalogue material" so if I want to poke myself in the eyeball to make that point crystal clear, I come on this site....lol
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 40
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/18/2017 2:05:01 PM


I feel like I'm "average" looking and certainly do not receive many emails, other than the youngins who aren't looking for relationships or the scammers that are based on an oil rig in Syria and hope to come back to the area as they are struggling with the death of their wife.....I'm not "catalogue material" so if I want to poke myself in the eyeball to make that point crystal clear, I come on this site....lol



You look pretty good to me! Of course, I'm too old for you, so you probably think I'm "creepy" for saying it. (Different thread, but if you're reading in the forums, you've probably run across it.)
 modelseeker
Joined: 7/24/2015
Msg: 41
view profile
History
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/31/2017 1:36:46 PM
It's obvious looks are not the only thing that matters overall. But it does appear like that mainly because women don't realize how important looks actually are to them. They lie to themselves about it and in their profile. p.s. I'm not talking about the unattractive women who post on these forums.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > It just doesn't matter