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 AUTHOR
 DeliciousANDnutricious
Joined: 2/23/2016
Msg: 176
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.Page 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
OK, I'm back.

I read replies here that a few people were laughing about this, me and the situation, mocking what I said for laughs(mocking about what I said about friends and family on facebook saying we make a good couple), at that point I regretted ever even coming here to try to ask for help or advice, or just to talk it out.

This just made me feel 10 times worse. To the people that were being rude and not offering any help, just making this a joke, please don't do that to anyone asking for help ever again!

You are going to just run the people off to not come back anymore and never find out what happened, by chance I finally came back and saw a lot of other people having good things to say, actually trying to help, to those of you thank you....

I'm not a troll, I'm a real man with real feelings, and problems.

About the 3 guys in one week, she brought it up out of the blue. I think she was trying to get a feel, to see how I would react if she told me about the guy she had sex with after me, I suspect she was feeling guilty about it.

I've asked her why she brought that up out of the blue, she said "I wanted to be honest" but she lied about the guy after me. She had previously told me "I promise you I have not been with anyone else since we met" about 5 times.

Then I found the ok cupid emails that proved her word and the word promise means nothing to me.

Who knows, maybe the 3 guys were after me too, I can't get a answer out of her now, she does not want to discuss it anymore.

I learned years ago (early 20's with first girlfriend) not to ask questions to things you don't want the answers to!

There are so many more questions or things you people have asked, I'm trying to answer them all.

Someone said drugs. OK, after dating a while she told me she used to do meth, I thought she meant like A LONG TIME AGO. She told me she had quit after her ex fiancee of 16 years died in April, she also quit smoking cigarettes and started vaping.

He was a pill popper and meth addict, and on his deathbead asked her to stop doing drugs and smoking.

I'm not a drug user, I smoked about 2 joints in my life, and once ate a marijuana cookie my ex brother and law and ex wife had me try. I've drank plenty of beers, a little rum, whiskey, vodka, not really into the hard liquors, just beers, but even on those I can go months without a drink.

It has come to my attention she may be on meth now. She has given me so many answers of the last time she used, like after her ex dying while grieving in April, but then she admitted she smoked it after we met the first night, then 2 nights later with a "friend"(I think it was a guy but she said girlfriend), then a couple of nights later before and after banging the other guy.

I stumbled upon google gps timeline on smart phones, the last p#ssy pics (since vagina was the wrong word to use, now I know) were taken November 17th, a day I was not able to be around.

November 18th she went to work, then left work before noon and drove to north Phoenix about one hour drive to apartments near I17 and Pinnacle Peak Rd. Stayed almost 1.5 hours, then drove back to work, almost a hour ride back, then stayed at work until about 6 PM.

She was gone almost 4 hours from work, guess they are very flexible there.

There was a guy she used to see before me who also did meth, and that's why she stopped seeing him she said.

Guess where that guy lives? Apartments off Pinnacle Peak Rd. When I said "You were banging him 2 days after seeing me, you were not at a girlfriend's place!!??", she said they both live off Pinnacle Peak Road, and no she was not with him.

I asked her while looking at her face who is the girlfriend who lives off Pinnacle Peak Rd, I could see in her face she was in a panic and her eyes darting around at the ground for about 5 seconds(eyes not looking at my face), with her mouth open, she said her name, not going to use the name here as it's a rare name.

I said "wow, that took you a long time to say her name..." and she said "I did'nt want you to think less of her as we were smoking meth.

She then mentioned said female friend "But she does not live up there anymore, she had to move back in with her parents in Mesa" This was discussed near the end of January in person.

After that is where the gears in my head started turning in overdrive, the look on her face and long delay and female friend's name as a alibi did not satisfy me as she was telling the truth. This is where I started digging and searching and asking trying to see if she banged her "meth friend hookup guy" 2 days after meeting me and us having sex.

She was texting me 2 days after us meeting, about being at a girlfriend's house. One point after a 2 hour gap in her replying, she wrote "I'm not ignoring you, just having fun with my friend" Once I found out the guy lived on the same road the girlfriend did, I was thinking "having fun with my friend" meant she was having sex with this guy!

No, we did not talk about being exclusive then(right after we met and had sex), in fact I didn't even think to consider that, in my mind she was my new girlfriend since we had sex together, guess I was a idiot for just assuming.

She really likes the fact I don't do drugs and never did (unless you consider smoking pot and handful of times doing drugs, then I never tried any other "drugs") because this helps her to stay clean, she admitted after I told her I loved her she did meth for over 20 years!

Said she even used to smoke crack, I was blown away!

Had I known about the 20 year addiction before, or the 3 guys in a week, that she banged without any condoms, or that she had never had protected sex ever, until the guy that she banged after me (so she says) I would not have fallen in love or bought her a promise ring.

Yes, I was a idiot and had sex with her with no condom, I was so stupid, she told me "I'm clean, don't worry" as I didn't have any condoms.

Oh by the way she has never taken birth control and says she has never been pregnant.

I have now had STD testing, after learning these things, I tested positive for genital herpes, but never had any sores.

My primary Dr explained I'm a carrier for it, and that 50% of the adult population has it but don't know, and it is not normally tested for due to being so common, but because I requested to be tested for all STD it was included.

This was on the same visit he gave me the anxiety pills after we discussed me not sleeping sometimes, he gave me a anxiety questions test about the previous 2 weeks, about 10 questions.

She was with me at the doctor's office. She told me maybe she gave it to me.

I'm still waiting for her to get STD test for my safety, to see if I need to be re tested.

OK, back to Pinnacle Peak Rd. She was there November 18th, I asked her before telling her I had found that "When was the last time you smoked meth?" She told me in October.

When I told her about seeing the trip to those apartments, she then said she was with the female friend smoking meth that day.

I don't know what to believe now, I think she was with the guy, and that is for sure cheating because we became official exclusive November 5th, but maybe she was with her female friend.

I will never know. I did friend her female friend on facebook and made some small talk via FB messenger trying to build some rapport, trying to find a sly way to ask if she had moved recently, but she said she had to go.

No, I never got around to asking if she had recently moved.

Of course I then told my girlfriend I had talked to her friend, but not about what exactly I was trying to find out, she got jealous thinking I was flirting with her, I told her no, you can see the conversation.

I do know, that now she has lied to me 2 times. 2 times over huge issues.

First about not sleeping with anyone since meeting me, 2nd about the time of last smoking meth.

She told me she has been clean, but refuses to go to a meth support group or even AA, I have offered to go with her, she says those places have people there who are court ordered and don't want to be there and use it as a place to score meth.

I guess I need to end it with her. It's driving me crazy always worrying, some days I do better than others.

She did tell me if I break up with her, she will go use meth again, because she will not be able to help it.

The problem is I do love and care for her deeply. I hate not trusting her, it's scary and I feel way out of control.

I'm sure this reply is very unorganized and out of order. Hope I can reply more here, I think it said you can only reply 2 times a day?

I looked at "sent" in her 2 emails, but don't see anything sent.

She did have a text now account that has been deleted. Apparently you can remain unknown and text with people, that was why she had that, however she gave me her real phone/text number October 1st.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 177
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 2:12:04 PM
OP, thanks for coming back and clarifying things. I'm sorry that she turned out to be a drug addict, and for the turmoil she is putting you through. I think her promiscuity is a symptom of her drug addiction. She is likely using sex to score drugs. It doesn't look good for you.

The fact that she refuses to get treatment, and that she lied to you is reason alone to end it. Threatening you that she will use again if you break up with her is emotional blackmail, and it's not fair to you. That's not love.

If you can get her into treatment, you might be able to salvage the relationship. If not, I'm afraid you have little choice but to break up with her. She may end up taking you down with her.
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 178
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 2:18:56 PM
OMG. Meth and crack...twenty years?!
She couldn't keep her promise to stay clean on a man's death bed.


She told me she has been clean, but refuses to go to a meth support group or even AA, I have offered to go with her, she says those places have people there who are court ordered and don't want to be there and use it as a place to score meth.

Does she not realize that if you went with her...she wouldn't have an opportunity to get her next "score"?

You gave her a ring. She gave you herpes.

BAIL! ABORT! DUMP HER and RUN!


She did tell me if I break up with her, she will go use meth again, because she will not be able to help it.

It's not your problem. (Herpes is the problem) She's already admitted to using while with you...behind your back. She's a chronic drug addict. Tell her that you'll "think" about taking her back after she completes a rehab program.

She couldn't keep a promise to a dying man. Remember that.

Hell. I need a Xanex just reading this mess.

You'll feel horrible during and after the breakup, but hey...that's what therapists are for. Find an anxiety & depression group to join. Try some Prozac. It's situational stress you're dealing with. Take care of yourself first.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 179
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 2:23:55 PM
She must be fvcking gorgeous because she sounds like a train wreck.

You need to seriously think if the love you feel for this woman is worth the rough road she's going to drive you down. And down, and down, and down.

She lies, does hard drugs and lies about it, sleeps with other guys and lies about it (because if she lied about one, she'll lie about others), has never used birth control but swears she's clean but nonetheless *might* have given you herpes, and whatever else isn't included in the story or you don't know about.

Dude, no matter how low your self-esteem is, staying with this woman is. not. worth. it.

Run!
 DeliciousANDnutricious
Joined: 2/23/2016
Msg: 180
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 2:35:48 PM
I forgot to mention that after I found the google gps travel history, showing she went to those apartments November 18th. (found this past weekend)

I asked her if when she was taking the p#ssy pics if she was horny that night (November 17th), she answered yes. So, she was horny Thursday night, skips out on work for a LONG lunch break the next day to those apartments.

Um, I pretty much have a strong answer that is the guy's apartments.

November 17th she drove to some other apartments according to google gps travel history, those apartments are where her female friend lives now, she showed me once while we were driving down that road.

Unless female friend was in the middle of a move?

About trading sex for drugs, at one point before finding out about any of this stuff, I asked her a awkward question as gracefully as I could. I asked "You never had sex for drugs or anything like that?"

Of course she said she never did that.

I also asked if meth made her more horny, she said no.

I have read online meth can make men and women horny.

The thing is, I thought meth people were all skinny and freaky acting, like the people on Breaking Bad tv show.

My girl is overweight, that's why I thought she meant did meth when she was much younger when she mentioned "I used to do meth"

One day I walked in her room after she took a shower and about jumped back, first time I saw her without makeup and her face was all scarred up and big pits, she was hiding her "picked" face pretty good under makeup.

Of course not being a shallow person and trying to give her the benefit of a doubt, I figured it was from her "using" days of the past.

She is such a sweet and loving woman, never mean, but not to be trusted.

My ex wife, was so mean, and always started arguments, but I trusted her with no problem.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 181
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History
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 2:45:11 PM
OP: you've moved far too quickly in this relationship. Within a month of meeting a complete stranger you've given her a promise ring? You seem to motivated by your dreams and good intentions and you are not at all grounded in the reality of this situation. As time unfolds you are discovering who this person is.... a long term drug addict, a liar and someone who has given you an STD. If you knew all of this in October would you have dated her? I don't think so! You are not 'in love' with her.... because love should make you feel 'safe', respected and cared for. You are anxious, hurt, angry and mistrustful.....the opposite of what you should be feeling in a loving relationship. You're in love with the idea that someone wants you. It's not your fault that this didn't work out....you didn't have the truth of what was really going on.
It's perfectly okay to back out of this. There is someone else out there for you.....if you are cautious and discerning.
 DeliciousANDnutricious
Joined: 2/23/2016
Msg: 182
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:04:08 PM
She said she tried crack 2 times back in the 1990's.

I gave her the promise ring for Valentine's Day, but it was ordered in January before knowing of all this stuff, it had to be resized. We met October 2nd in person. So almost 5 months together now.

It was said it would not make it by Valentine's Day, but sure enough it showed up and the store called and told us it was ready, on Valentine's Day.

I had already paid for it and was a done deal, why make Valentine's Day crappy?

OK I was and still thinking maybe we can work things out. Maybe I can talk her into rehab.

If it wasn't for all this, she is the perfect woman to me, I feel very close to her and she feels very close to me, we have been together every night and day (except work) since Christmas eve without a break, this was her idea but I like it too.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 183
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone and herpes in my blood
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:23:47 PM
oh, thank goodness. We were all worried she was a slut. At least she's just a methead.

She's overweight, her face is scarred up, but she's sweet and loving compared to your ex wife, who emotionally abused you. You trusted both of them, no problem. I would suggest a trip to the self-help section of the bookstore, and get some reading material on what makes for a healthy relationship....before you date again. Otherwise, this woman's going to bring you down into her hell, and when you finally crawl out, you're going to be a victim of the next woman, thinking at least she isn't as hellish as the last two.

seriously, "you need to work on yourself". You have to learn why you jump into these relationships, hoping sex will bring you love, and then don't see any of the red flags. The only chance you ever have at a loving relationship, is if you know how to go look for one. its not a coincidence you find these people, you go looking for them subconsciously. You are the constant in all these equations.

vvvYeah, when we're done playing doctor, she feels philled alright :) lol
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 184
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone and herpes in my blood
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:28:25 PM
^^^^

Is that you Dr Phil ?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 185
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:31:26 PM
The last thing an addict needs is a relationship, especially with an enabler. If any of this is true, move on, no contact, go. You are not a therapist, you are certainly not a drug counselor and you have no reason to be using her so you can be a knight for a damsel in distress. You would not be there unless you were getting something out of this so stop.

As for this:

I read replies here that a few people were laughing about this, me and the situation, mocking what I said for laughs(mocking about what I said about friends and family on facebook saying we make a good couple), at that point I regretted ever even coming here to try to ask for help or advice, or just to talk it out.

This just made me feel 10 times worse. To the people that were being rude and not offering any help, just making this a joke, please don't do that to anyone asking for help ever again!


give me a break, what did you think would happen.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 186
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:33:18 PM
DeliciousANDnutricious, hope you get this all sorted with your girlfriend.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 187
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 3:38:17 PM
I think it might be of some help to you OP to educate yourself about addiction and addicts and typical addictive behaviors. Some meth addicts have sex to support their drug habit. Some drug addicts are sex addicts too. Addiction is addiction it just differs somewhat depending upon the drug of choice. A gambler may be able to hide his problem better than a fall down drunk.

Meth is something scary. I have not once since 1989 heard of a meth addict being able to get clean on his or her own. She may as well try to walk on water.

If she doesn't want to get help there is help out there for you for family members and spouses of drug abusers. Search Google you will perhaps find something near by in your community.
 IMayBeCrazy_But
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 188
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 7:35:01 PM

She told me she had quit after her ex fiancee of 16 years died in April, she also quit smoking cigarettes and started vaping.

He was a pill popper and meth addict, and on his deathbead asked her to stop doing drugs and smoking.


Who stays engaged for SIXTEEN YEARS?!?!

C'mon. Get a grip. Did she say that they were saving for a fairy tale wedding, but kept blowing their savings on meth???


I asked her if when she was taking the p#ssy pics if she was horny that night (November 17th), she answered yes. So, she was horny Thursday night, skips out on work for a LONG lunch break the next day to those apartments.

Um, I pretty much have a strong answer that is the guy's apartments.


So...she's scary without her makeup on, is overweight, a meth addict, a liar AND a cheater???


She is such a sweet and loving woman, never mean, but not to be trusted.

My ex wife, was so mean, and always started arguments, but I trusted her with no problem.


Tell her that you're breaking up with her and ask for the ring back...until she finishes a drug treatment program. Then see how sweet and loving she is. People are ALWAYS on their best behavior the first few months of a new relationship...after the newness wears off...reality sets in. You've merely taken a peek into her reality. 20 years on meth??? I'm sure there's more she's not telling you. Just saying.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 189
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/28/2017 11:55:18 PM
DeliciousAndShesNotNutritious:

First, let me be objective. My stance is Not to stay with her. Don't let being positive for HSV "down there" make you stay with her. I can't believe you're actually considering keeping the concept of being in any serious relationship with her in consideration, especially after you stepped away and caught your breath for a while and explained what seemed to be. Don't let emotion get in the way, in either direction.

I do have to say this: Yeah, she lied about having sex with someone right after you two met. In the grand scheme of things and compared to what you Should be worried about -- so? You two were not a couple by any stretch at that point right after 1st date, and you two boinked off the bat. It by no means socially implies "hands off" anyone else. Most people, good catches included, will lie about it if it's solid that the other person couldn't find out anyway. They didn't break any rules, there were no rules. A few dates does not = dating. As you said, you weren't going steady until a month later. Don't let This distract you. Someone in position trying to make the best case for herself as a worthy-type GF, and as a person to yourself is definitely going to shoo you away from that. Forget about this concept -- it will only make you seem anal about it all.

It's about everything else you laid out -- and yeah, you can bet she cheated on you in mid-Nov. She took pvzzy pics when you two Were dating as an item, and as you pointed out... and with everything else, the look on her face about her friend living on that street where she was -- she Most Likely was making stuff up (don't worry, she'll likely have her friend back her up, although they could screw that up).

To herself she probably thinks since with you she's been a Better Girl. So there's some truth in what she's saying that may be luring you in too much. You represent something that she does value. But the problem is -- that doesn't mean she's not going to have a wild time once in a while and erode over time. Unless she's living with you And you're Dr Drew, and you're willing to take in the virtual fact that she boned guys While you were dating and most likely has done more meth than she admits -- you gotta walk.

I can understand you emotionally just can't handle Bolting. You care for her big time. And you still can. But you Have to see it for what it is, and not get sucked in. You have to Walk, but you can still be there as a friend, with, yeah, some caring and support -- as long as it doesn't drag you down too much. But you have to SEE WHY that should be 100% THE thing to do. The situation you're in, to walk -- it's about as rock solid as surprising her on night and finding her getting porked by her dealer. It should be That solid of a "Gotta walk." Once you logistically understand this, emotionally getting over it is easier. If you let your emotions get in the way of your logistics and putting obvious pieces together like you would for a friend -- you're only hurting yourself, man.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 190
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 12:19:16 AM
No matter how much you love someone...
Without trust you have diddly spit.
Drug addiction is a diease for which she needs to want the help for...
You can still love and support but without her willingness to change it will only get worse.
After all this you may need counseling for co-dependency.
All the best.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 191
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 5:52:35 AM
If you can get her to go to rehab, that's a good thing. But it's a good thing for her. It won't be a good thing for you, because the rate of relapse for long time users is very high. You need to let her go. Staying in a relationship with an addictive personality will destroy you in ways you cut begin to imagine.
Look for someone else. Sorry.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 192
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 6:35:05 AM
" I think her promiscuity is a symptom of her drug addiction."

I think her drug addiction maybe a symptom of her promiscuity. They kind of go together. Like peanut butter and jelly. I wasn't shocked when you added meth to this enchanted story.

The behaviors you describe in the opening post are compulsive and obsessive. With that kind of personality it is hard to decide which comes first the chicken or the egg.. in this case the d*ck or the drug.
Either choice OP it is time to ask yourself do you really want to invite these problems into your life after only knowing someone for such a short time.
Addicts manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, wheel and deal, con. They will steal your wallet and then help you look for it. True.

It will come to a point that you will either have to leave or you will be doing meth yourself. I've seen it happen a hundred and one times. Meth is no joke. Nothing here to laugh about at all.
Meth addicts are not capable of love. It destroys them. It takes them prisoner. It rots their teeth, skin and does irreparable damage to the brain. You are in denial if you think this is something that she can just stop doing. Meth addicts success rate even after rehab is about 3%.

Is this what you want for your future? Are you really so in love? Would you want this woman around your family, your Mom or Dad? In your friends homes? Siblings? Would you be worried about their silverware or their jewelry boxes. If your not.. you should be. You still want to trust her?

At this point... Trust shouldn't even be one of your answers. You have to cut all contacts. You have put yourself in a position here that you just need to walk away from. You need to go no contact and with no conditions. She will just manipulate and lie to you if you give an ultimatum.

She has already burned you and you want to put your ***** back in the fire. Change your number and avoid her at all costs. You maybe sad for awhile but it is better than finding out you have something much more serious than having contracted herpes.

When I pointed to addiction here I was scalded...but now I guess I had hit the nail on the head. Thank you very much.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 193
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 12:17:41 PM


" I think her promiscuity is a symptom of her drug addiction."


I think her drug addiction maybe a symptom of her promiscuity. They kind of go together. Like peanut butter and jelly.


You're entitled to your opinion, but I think the drug addiction came first, resulting in promiscuity to feed her drug habit.

Also, it's worth noting that people with addictive personalities often substitute one addiction for another. When they attempt to give up one, they will often take up another; e.g. an ex-smoker might become an overeater. A recovered alcoholic might turn to drugs to self-medicate. A drug addict will often turn to sex to score them---but if the drug addict can't give the drugs up, (s)he is likely to continue with the promiscuity. I believe this is what is happening with the OP's girlfriend.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 194
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 12:48:32 PM
Addiction is a three fold disease. Mental, Physical and spiritual. It is insidious, cunning, and baffling. My opinion comes from experience.

More often that not young girls that have been promiscuous have been molested. The promiscuity comes first. The drugs, the acting out, the substituting, the need to escape comes after. It is sorrowful for me to tell you how many stories are the other way around. The child is severely damaged and abused physically and sexually and turns to sex with many men as a way of acting out. Sex is the first addiction and what follows in that lifestyle is more abuse with perhaps food, gambling, alcohol, and drugs. I would say the worst of them being Meth but the addiction starts with sex or some form of sexual abuse.

I have sponsored over 60 women in all of my years of recovery. I'm sorry to say that a common thread in all of their stories is childhood sexual abuse or rape and abuse in their early teens. That led to their acting out sexually and self loathing and self destruction with booze, drugs, and men. Sex and drug addiction. That is why I say they go hand in hand... like peanut butter and jelly.

Addicts do not necessarily substitute.. they ADD. They smoke cigarettes so they give themselves permission to smoke weed, then drink, then maybe a few lines of coke. Then smoking coke is okay. Then why not meth. I have rarely seen addicts just substitute. If they do they just end up in another 12 step program. ie.. one might go from AA to NA. Or AA to OA.

On Meth there is very poor hygiene. My remark is no longer snarky. The addict gives up oneself. Their bodies are no longer their temples. They do not care. Meth doesn't let them care. They eat poorly. They do not exercise. They rarely see a Dr. They can go days and weeks without bathing. They get body vermin and lice. Meth makes them poor and poor makes their situations sometimes unclean. I have tried to help woman with Meth addictions to no avail. It is painful and disappointing and you can be heartbroken by it.

I don't know what your experience has been in helping people with addiction Haly. I don't come here to toss around words that I think sound good. If I don't know something about a topic I read and don't participate with suppositions. This addiction is something I know about because I have put my heart into helping hundreds of people and shared my experience strength and hope in detoxes, hospitals, meetings, churches and prisons across the state.

Yes, I am entitled to my opinion. Ever so much thanks for allowing me that Miss Skies. Amen.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 195
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 1:03:22 PM

I have sponsored over 60 women in all of my years of recovery. I'm sorry to say that a common thread in all of their stories is childhood sexual abuse or rape and abuse in their early teens. That led to their acting out sexually and self loathing and self destruction with booze, drugs, and men. Sex and drug addiction. That is why I say they go hand in hand... like peanut butter and jelly.


I never said the two don't go together--just that I believe the drug addiction came first. That's why so may drug addicts get into prostitution.

We're just now getting more to the OP's story. He hasn't said whether or not his girlfriend was sexually abused as a child, so until he does, I'm going to reserve judgement on that.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 196
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone and herpes in my blood
Posted: 3/1/2017 1:24:48 PM
I have said this many, many times.
OP, You can NOT change her/ him/ them.

Run, don't walk to the nearest available help, such as self help books, a support group and /or professional counseling. Nothing in your life will change unless..........You change.


seriously, "you need to work on yourself".


I have been to hell and back. My life took a U-turn, when I gave up hope.
"I hope he will change / I hope he will see how much I love him". I wish.........I hope.................

Stop wishing and hoping, and helping. Seek guidance to change YOU.
The rest will correct its self on it's own .....or not.

I wish you peace and harmony.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 197
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 1:34:41 PM
I've met thousands of drug addicts and very few that had or have resorted to prostitution as a means to support their habits. That's Law and Order Special Victim's Unit. That's not what goes on in our communities. You have no idea and you have answered my question about your experience in helping others with addiction problems. Whew. More hot air. Not one iota of experience. Obviously.

The OP doesn't even know the story. He has had to snoop to find out any truths about this lady. Snoop on GPS, snoop on google, snoop on her phone, snoop in her photo albums. Snoop. So no one should lead him to believe that by some epiphany this meth addict is going to come clean and tell him anything real about her life and life experiences, painful or not. Addicts lie and as long as Meth is calling the shots she does not deserve his trust.

There is no reserving judgement here. The only response left if you have any real awareness of addiction is to tell him to go NO CONTACT. He is to close to help, to deluded to help, to uneducated to help and to hurt to help. He needs to let her go and save himself. She will drag him down a road to hell. Meth addiction is hell on earth. Meth is the devils dandruff.

F&CK IT.. 8 rackets, one octopus, one net and me. IMPOSSIBLE.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 198
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 1:37:31 PM
OP: When one steps away for even just a bit you may see things in a different light
You need to take stock of your own life...
Can you see yourself as a private-detective?
For that is what you will be doing every time she leaves the house.
Trust is most cases can not be restored especially if she is on drugs.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 199
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Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 2:26:30 PM
Yes, at some point suggesting that he give the woman the benefit of the doubt becomes ludicrous.
Thinking he needs more "facts" is absurd.
I could not "forgive and forget" this. Maybe he can or can make himself think he can for awhile.
Staying with her would be like jumping off a bridge. A tall one.

Trust sometimes can not be restored. He will become a mental detective it will consume him mentally.
He will chase after her, do the same snooping he has been doing. He will make himself crazy trying to make himself re-assured.
He will cross boundaries. He may even be thought of as the "crazy " one as he is being repeatedly manipulated by this woman.
He will let himself go. He may fall into a depression from the frustration and the lack of respect.
If it is bad now it will become worse.

Meth is NOT a recreational drug. No one uses meth without a problem. Meth is a poison. It poisons the users life
It not only poisons the users life but everyone and anyone that cares about the user. They get used and abused too.
You will have separation anxiety because every time she is away from you your fear will overcome you and you will have thought of her being with other men racing through your mind. She gave you herpes. You will never truly trust her again...unless you are a saint.
You may even begin to stalk her or follow her or check up on her or use electronic means to spy on her. You'll always be twisting in the wind wondering where she is, if she is high, if she is with another, if you should be with her.

These are just some examples of how the relationship will be unhealthy... IS THIS THE LIFE YOU WANT?
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 200
view profile
History
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 3/1/2017 2:54:18 PM
Penny I walked in those shoes.
Only difference is he had no addictions other than lying. I became that depressed, obsessive PI...
What a nightmare I had entered into.
You loose who you are it took me taking a good hard look at myself. I realized I was lost and how much of this sh*t I brought on myself.
We are responsible how others treat us by what we put up with and allow.
Trust is so important.

Edit vvv great advice and you don't sound mean or otherwise.
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