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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Dating in your 50's and 60's.      Home login  
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 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 26
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Dating in your 50's and 60's. Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Since I can only answer based on my own experiences, I will.


I'd like to know what experiences women and men have had based on age?


Bad ones. Too many in my area tend to huddle together. Social events tend to disappear. I think, those who had the moxie to start events up, get paired off, then stop because their new love interests take them off in new directions. No one beyond them is willing to do the work to keep the group going.


It seems like it's more difficult to connect.


Very much so. We aren't your former mate. Not all of us are wildly experienced in dating. I'm not a fad person. I don't care much for the latest and greatest. Living requires more cash to cover expenses. That extra cash evaporates when it comes to cover bills that two incomes used to handle. That free time to socialize, went bye bye because that time now has to be spent working. So sorry, I don't make as much as your ex did.

Do men want younger women?


No, not really. We'd be satisfied with our own age, if you weren't so fussy about who you want.


Are the ratio men to women balanced in that age range?


Not at all. I may be outnumbered by women, but out of that 100 women for 60 men out there, 80 women stayed home. And I'm not one to approach a tableful of women. Since I wasn't very forward in my youth, getting older hasn't done me any favors. You make yourself harder to talk to. You also make it harder to date. I'm not into guessing. Don't expect me to.Things were supposed to get easier as we aged. You've made it harder.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 27
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/15/2017 5:38:55 PM
I haven't dated in about 4 years and now at 60 don't ever want to again. It is difficult to connect. It's more difficult putting up with people's bad habits/poor choices/issues.
While I've had a few relationships with men I've met in here that lasted a couple years, in the end there were just too many issues.
Drinking/anger/non commitment or wanting an immediate commitment/jealousy/controlling, etc. I thought it would be easier as I grew older to find someone who was happy just to be with someone, enjoy the little things.
Too much drama, not willing to put up with that anymore. I would have thought growing older would mellow people, not in my experiences.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 28
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/15/2017 7:30:33 PM
My last relationship ended 4 years ago and was on and off for 8 years. That kind of relationship with the drama included pretty much burnt me out. I lost so much of myself in that time and I'm now finding myself again. My apprehension of being in a relationship again is falling back into those old habits of losing myself.

I'm content with being alone and don't have the ambition to pursue. She'll have to find me.




@BCC...I wasnt alone at the strip club celebrating my birthday this past weekend. I'm realistic enough to know that the attention I got from the women working in there was not sincere. They were looking to remove some money from my pocket.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 29
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/15/2017 7:34:28 PM
Unlike Cooldog I'm NOT content to be alone, I'm quite sick of it. And yet, I don't have the ambition to pursue.

She, whoever she is , will have to find me too.

When I consider the odds of that actually happening .... I feel very depressed
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 30
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/15/2017 10:26:01 PM
"It is difficult to connect. It's more difficult putting up with people's bad habits/poor choices/issues."

I think you're right about that. All I want is a nice evening that exists in it's own space without all that other junk coming in. Just put all the craziness and peeves aside for an evening and spend some time being nice. I think most people would be happy with that once a week.

No talk of "forever" or "owning" or "merging" or who has to give up what. Just a neutral space with no requirements. Go back to being mad at the world the rest of the week. It should be possible to meet for a meal, enjoy the menu, and leave without bringing all that other junk into play.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 31
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 3:56:14 AM

Been on this sh!thole site on and off for 10 years now....joined at 49....same "witty" (according to me, disagree, I don't care) profile, similar pictures...I'd get 3 - 5 emails a day and would meet one lady a week for coffee or a drink to see if we had anything in common...took a chance on 4, crashed and burned...the first two, turned out I was THEIR rebound, they used me and restored their batteries and returned to the dud they had broken up with before meeting me, and married them.

The next two, 3 1/2 and 3 years (live span of a relationship these days), liked the trips and restaurants and good times and laughter and gifts and weekenders, then downgraded to a younger bad boy with the goatee and Harley...

Now, I'm 58 1/2...similar profile as 10 years ago...similar pictures......and no emails....55 is the cutodd for women on POF...they rarely contact a man over 55, regardless of their own age...

Oh, I have received some initial contact emails, from women who are as old as my own mom...

So....now I wait to die.


First lines of your profile

"If you have, need or want dogs, I'm not your match.
Not negotiable. Thank you for understanding."

This would eliminate 90% the women I have ever dated, they either had dogs or were between dogs.
The tone and bad attitude of those lines would eliminate a bunch more.

Purplerider, well I have said enough but a google search of "bitter about dating" should bring his profile up first.

Maleman I will agree it is more difficult now then 7ish years ago when I first joined POF but I blame the men not the women. Too many horndogs, angry men who actually dislike women, bitter men who dislike themselves, entitled men with no sense of how undatable they are.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 32
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 6:26:14 AM

Maleman I will agree it is more difficult now then 7ish years ago when I first joined POF but I blame the men not the women. Too many horndogs, angry men who actually dislike women, bitter men who dislike themselves, entitled men with no sense of how undatable they are.


Really????
We're going to start laying "blame" on a gender on this one?

Does laying blame at another's feet make you feel better about how things are NOT going for you????? My lack of success has nothing to do with anything but the evolving of individuals as they age, as I stated previously. I can't change anyone's past, or experiences, or mine. All I can do is try to look at those experiences a little differently or from a different perceptive and "give a little" if I feel it's benefical. What someone else does with their past and how they react to them is up to them.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 33
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 6:50:35 AM
Sitting and waiting for someone to " find" you akin to hoping to win big in the Lotto without buying a ticket.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 34
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 7:09:56 AM
"Sitting and waiting for someone to " find" you akin to hoping to win big in the Lotto without buying a ticket."

But that blows the theory of people who say "The right one will come along/show up when you least expect it."
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 35
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 7:32:07 AM
Are you saying Maleman I should go castle shopping just in case?
Least expect it? What, sitting in the bath and he pops outta the closet?
He shows up to buy a engagement ring for the one he " found"?
so many qs
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 36
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 8:09:01 AM

Really????
We're going to start laying "blame" on a gender on this one?

Does laying blame at another's feet make you feel better about how things are NOT going for you????? My lack of success has nothing to do with anything but the evolving of individuals as they age, as I stated previously. I can't change anyone's past, or experiences, or mine. All I can do is try to look at those experiences a little differently or from a different perceptive and "give a little" if I feel it's benefical. What someone else does with their past and how they react to them is up to them.


"We" are not blaming anyone, I am. But you are somewhat correct, should have written "but I blame the men more than the women. "

As far as how things not going for me, that is by choice right now. Got to get myself happier about being single right now, part of having the right attitude about dating.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 37
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 10:49:42 AM
I think attitude and effort means a LOT more in 50+ dating. 30 and under, you could roll out of bed and meet someone. "Effort" means working harder to meet women, i.e. putting yourself out there, taking risks, joining groups.......but ALSO efforts in keeping youself in shape and keeping up your appearance. This all gets harder the older you get...so it takes more time and $$$. Those who don't put out effort in ALL these areas are likely to have a harder time, get bitter and blame everyone else. It is what it is.

The older you get, the more important dress, style, and personal grooming matter. Men and women. Those who never paid attention to this sometimes have a tougher time adopting these habits. They will have a harder time in dating 50+.

For men, toys (wealth) also matter, but probably not as much as people think. I think it will attract more women, but I don't think it makes them more likely to find someone compatible. But I also think a guy who say, rides a HD, has a fun group of friends that ride also, dresses in biker garb, enjoys plenty of activities....and may not be wealthy $$-wise,...but has a wealth of friends and activities, can attract women as easily as a guy with millions.

As in motorcycle riding proves, active interests/hobbies count. You will attract more women if you like riding motorcycles vs. if you collect ornate doorknobs....unless you go on some adventurous "picker" trips to find said doorknobs. Even better if it's on a bike.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 38
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 3:42:56 PM
It's more than just riding a motorcycle. What you ride has quite a bearing to your success. Posers, (A.K.A. HD riders) are generally those who ride little, but talk a lot. My personal choice reflects wanting to ride, more than fix. When I take a trip, it's my transportation, not a trailer queen. (The trailer gets pulled) The only time my bike gets admired, is when someone asks how far it's gone. Mine is most commonly seen on the road, not parked in front of a tavern. My rides are not social events.

I may as well collect door knobs. But, my collection of worn out tires is more satisfying.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 39
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 4:08:19 PM
I don't know of any women looking for money/success/above average good looks. Most women, myself included, are looking for a good man who will treat them right.
I would assume that's what most men are looking for, a good woman who will treat them right.
So why are we all making this so difficult?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 40
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 7:40:36 PM
SS4544Spd, I like:


I also think a guy who say, rides a HD, has a fun group of friends that ride also, dresses in biker garb, enjoys plenty of activities....and may not be wealthy $$-wise,...but has a wealth of friends and activities, can attract women as easily as a guy with millions.


Although BF does not have a group of friends we ride with, we enjoy our time alone, together on the Harley, sunny Sunday rides North or South or .................as part of a group in a charity bike run, /rally bike rides, ( Neither of us is shy. We can talk to anyone.)


So why are we all making this so difficult?


And this ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ladies and gentlemen, is the million dollar lottery winning question!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 41
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/16/2017 8:43:45 PM
you never know who will come a knocking though. However we do need to be proactive, join clubs and get about a bit
and if it is meant to be, it will happen.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 42
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 1:58:30 AM
This is getting pathetic.

In the past I have always stated that I liked women my own age. I'm now 68. Now attractiveness ends at 62-64 and it is no longer advancing each year. (Not that I'm a peach.)

I can no longer muster any enthusiasm for first meets and I can't think of any 2nd date ideas except the symphony.

I think I have aged out and I am making peace with being single here on out. I have betrayed some very nice people to arrive at this spot. There will be a line waiting for me at the Gates of H*ll.

YMMV
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 43
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 10:55:31 AM

So why are we all making this so difficult?


Because we want out cake and to eat it, too. People who've been around the block a couple of times are mostly tired of the search. They no longer just want to "get by" they want to "score big" for once. Sure, most near-misses in compatibility should be able to work or function reasonably well to take the loneliness out of life and put some fun back in it....

...but people want MORE. They want "chemistry" to feel like a fairy-tale love. They want to feel that it's "worth the effort" (I feel like I'm gonna kill the next person I hear say that). A pile of "goods & services" seems to be required to close any deal. A certain quantity of either or both.

More services: Plan the date/Pick me up/Offer me choices/Prep everything so all I have to is answer a phone...if I'm in the mood
More goods: Put me first/Before your pets/Before your debts/Before your child-support/Before your parents/Before your education

These are the things people are posting about day & night and writing each other off about because someone crossed the foul line in bowling, and brother there has GOT TO BE HELL TO PAY!!!
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 44
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 11:56:08 AM
My current dating age rule which is working just fine for me is that I will only date women who were born after I graduated from high school.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 45
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 1:03:52 PM

five-marie
I don't know of any women looking for money/success/above average good looks.

The women who are above average in looks are looking for the same. And, to be honest, those are the only women that I’m interested in. So yeah, most of them are NOT going to settle for me. But … here and there, now and then, I find one who will go out with me, and that keeps my hopes alive, and keeps me in the game.


five-marie
I would assume that's what most men are looking for, a good woman who will treat them right.
So why are we all making this so difficult?

Yes, in the long run, I want a woman who will “treat me right”. But (you knew there was a “but” coming, didn’t you?)

But … in the short run, I have to be excited about her appearance, or there will never be a chance at that “long run”. Catch 22. And that’s why it is “so difficult”.


Seki1949
This is getting pathetic.

In the past I have always stated that I liked women my own age. I'm now 68. Now attractiveness ends at 62-64 and it is no longer advancing each year. (Not that I'm a peach.)

I have stated before, the percentage of women that are attractive goes downhill rapidly with age. But there are women past 65 who are attractive. Very attractive, even. It’s just a far smaller percentage that what you find in younger women.

I find it far easier to get a date with an attractive woman in her early 50’s than with an attractive woman in her mid-sixties. Which is discouraging, because I know full well the odds of forming a good lasting relationship are much better with someone closer to my age.

But it is what it is, and I will continue to ask out any woman that I find attractive, and who gives me any indication whatsoever that she just might say “yes” if I were to ask.


aintnodeal
Plan the date/Pick me up/Offer me choices/Prep everything so all I have to is answer a phone...if I'm in the mood


I have encountered that attitude. And yes, I will go to that much effort, for a woman that I find exciting.

There was a line in an old C&W song (I am not fond of C&W music, but sometimes they do have good lines):


“I shaved my legs for THIS?”

If the women would spend more time and effort on looking good, on being exciting and sexy and desirable, then I think more men would be willing to “Plan the date/Pick me up/Offer me choices/Prep everything”. I know I will – but only for a woman that excites me.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 46
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 1:13:58 PM
^^ Yea but then they would be bothered by Men they don't consider attractive and who doesn't excite them
I don't think women go " downhill rapidly" Maybe some Men just get bewildered with age
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 4:19:10 PM
a HOG poser is going to attract a certain type of partner. Someone who's used a Goldwing for what it was designed for, is going to attract a partner who understands that. If I wear my leathers out in the cold, 5 guys will ask me about it for any one woman who does so. As sexist as it sounds, men generally seem to be interested in the toys, women generally in taking a ride on them.

i'll agree, you need to be "out there" doing fun things, in order to get approached. But if you approach others "too hard", then you chase them off. there's a big grey middle area in between the ends of the spectrum. as 5-marie said, its hard to put up with someone's lifetime of doing wrong. It got them this far, they'll keep it up. I have a female friend living the Barbie lifestyle b/c some sucker will come along and put up with it. Maintaining her 18 yr old figure helps a lot, she's going to undergo a medical regime for MS, we'll see if anything changes.

attractive people know they can wait for the better option to come along. Do people want to be treated well? yes, they do, but then they "had a few relationships with men I've met in here that lasted a couple years, in the end there were just too many issues." Why are they putting up with the issues for years? b/c they are lonely? b/c the guy is attractive enough?

Took my female friend out for her 60 yr old birthday. She's always looked a decade younger, and good genes never fade away. But the pretty faced young waitress who kept smiling b/c I was paying the bill? Her tight jeans had my attention.

what the hell, us single old pharts are phucked b/c we aren't screwed :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 48
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 5:35:16 PM
Nice you took your friend out.. and hey you got a bit of a show.
I swear my young ( 23) friend so hot she could melt skin would make you tremble :) I feel I should take paddles along to bring the Men back when they drop.
And she is a sweetheart. I call her the daughter I never had. You know when someone is just so freakin WOW you go great from now on I wear a tarp and shoes made from duct tape ?
Yea, with her 2 tarps.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 49
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Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 8:25:40 PM
[ Do people want to be treated well? yes, they do, but then they "had a few relationships with men I've met in here that lasted a couple years, in the end there were just too many issues." Why are they putting up with the issues for years? b/c they are lonely? b/c the guy is attractive enough?/]
(I don't think my quote lesson took!)
I put up with the issues because despite having a difficult life since childhood I always had hope. Hope that one day things would be better, hope that I would be with someone and have a successful relationship. Hope that two adults could work their problems out.
Now at 60 I've run out of hope on the relationship part of my life and I'm okay with that.
Can only chase a dream for so long before you wake up and realize some dreams turn into nightmares.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 50
Dating in your 50's and 60's.
Posted: 2/18/2017 8:59:11 PM
thank you, she's a friend of I guess 20 yrs now. she's the sister I never had. she's respectful compared to some other people. but we have little in common--she's ridiculously terrible with money b/c her siblings constantly bail her out, she could pick up a date anytime and wastes it on terrible men, by her own confession. But she can be good company. and when she dresses up, its just plain nice to share a dinner with an attractive woman who can carry a conversation. unless one hopes for more, and then that's just teasing oneself.

Your hot friend could very well make me lose my cool :) I used to work w/ a 9, if she had bigger cleavage I would have been just another guy drooling on her. She was as sensual as she was pretty. But luckily a small bra cup saved me, and I learned how far "not be star struck" could go. Not that I got a date or even a hug, she was still interested in hot guys, but it was nice to not be a slave to my fantasies around a woman. its a nice feeling when everyone's captivated but you, and you can still think with the big head.

sometimes, its fun to imagine being with someone who takes your breath away, but then who likes to act like a fool around someone and realize you just can't stop yourself? Admittedly, i'll see some 10's working at a car show or whatever and I know my place so i'll basically just ignore them. its a good enough defense :) but other times, its just nice to be around someone, something, someplace amazing. You don't need to think of it being in your life, you just enjoy it for what it is. like looking at someone's expensive car, I could be jealous it isn't mine, or I can just enjoy it for what it is.


there are a lot of women, growing up, who I guess stuck with a dude out of hope. For some guys, I think we saw what women will put up with, and think that's not going to change when they're old. I mean, I know women SAY they are looking for personality, but the majority still seem to hold out for the attractive guy with personality. as for the friend I mentioned above, she's dated 40 horror stories, and so she's not dating anymore. some guy with personality is going to be a friend, not a date. STDs are a big part of that, and i'm not sure that topic even got mentioned here, that STDs may not have been the issue in the days of penicillin that they are now.
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