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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 251
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?Page 11 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

When I was in my late 30's early 40's the majority of the women doing OLD were single Moms, & plenty of the men had kids too, so it was harder.

Ehhhh, in the late 90s when it was the norm to do the Internet, it wasn't just single Moms. Younger people were more hopping into the Internet when it was new. Things like Y! & AOL personals weren't used much in general. It gave guys who were a Reasonable catch great ammo. A lot easier. It was taken more "seriously" by gals who Would get into it, I think is the key. It was a "bigger deal".

Point being: It wasn't "the good old days" before. What online dating is now, is just, well, being used. It'd be the same 15-20 years ago as it is now, if everyone was doing it. "Back then" was just few using it, and gals when on, taking it more seriously because it was a big jump to even sign up. It being mainstream, guys who were using it from 1998-2004 have a Lot more competition + gals utilizing it some, not (necessarily) taking it seriously.

What did people do before online dating?
They had a personality, social skills, hobbies, interests, a sense of community & family. They engaged & participated in activities & hobbies.

Well, people do now, too. It wasn't At All like it was some big community-happy-environment-to-strangers - LOL. I think from the poster's standpoint is this: You're not a great looking guy. OK. Yes, before the Internet, in your communal surroundings, you could once in a great while get a shot at semi-cute Sally. Fast-forward in time, now. She's online. More options of better looking guys and better jobs, too -- even if she's not relying on Dating sites. Musical chairs just got tougher, bud. She doesn't even have to leave her house.

They met organically, the old fashioned way.

I think a lot of people still meet organically -- meaning thru social group-interactions and such, at a younger age. And thru work, etc. But you'd also have dead-ends once settled into adulthood. Going to the bar was and still is one of the ways -- guys would hit up girls they didn't have connections with then and now. Still the same trend.

Difference is, there's less settling. Cute Barbara living in a smaller town doesn't have to settle for below-average-but-nice Frank. She can engage with better catches who live 10-15m away. :)

From what I've seen over the years, people still meet the old fashioned way & value each other as human beings.

I agree, but it's not "old fashioned". It's just not-using-internet, right? Nothing wrong with using the Internet. It positively expands one's options. Problem is relying too heavily on it *if* you do have social options that can be cultivated outside of it, and letting that dwindle. But I will say, by and large -- gals still prefer the latter.

At the same time, one thing I've noticed -- at least in Some areas -- it's gotten more uptight To talk to strangers IRL... or what one may called "old fashioned". Maybe that comfort-zone's more set for online? But I think part of this whole notion isn't the Internet directly, but how overly-"safe" we play it IRL nowadays -- where you have to be on the "inside" socially Already to have a decent chance... or be that hot Chad in her eyes. :)
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 252
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/14/2018 11:57:30 AM
"Almost all of the women on dating sites are there to date. However, most of these women are not as attractive as they've been told and unfortunately the lies they've been told have them holding out for Chad: 6Feet+, Chiseled face, very fit body.

Reading a lot of these women's profiles is like reading case studies on narcissism, entitlement, and delusion. You'll have an overweight girl who is barely a 4 in the face DEMANDING all kinds of things from men on her profile, and she really believes she is on that level.

Thirsty men are partly to blame for that, hovering women's facebooks and instagrams all day telling them how beautiful they are even when they're not beautiful at all (those are the compliments that cause the most damage to the dating market). So this created a legion of women who are 3's and 4's being told they're 10's and now they come here with that mentality, never responding to messages and holding out for guys who are WAY out of their league.

If everyone were honest with women about how they actually look, the way they USED to be, dating sites would be a lot more effective. But when media and thirsty simp men spend all day telling every woman she's beautiful it causes an imbalance in se.xual market value and men on lower levels that would've been able to date lower level women are now being left with nothing as the lower level woman is now ego boosted enough that she thinks she deserves Chad and only Chad."

i don't get why some men expect supposedly ugly women to drop their standards so they can personally benefit from that by being able to date someone consider physically unattractive.

i don't need an ego boost, and if i did i wouldn't be looking for one a dating site. these places can be toxic due to the high amount of narcissists they attract, a lot of them lying and cheating on a partner.

anyway idk what i'm looking for but it's more than what seems to be on offer. happy valentines/james cooks death day. :-)
 THEMFNMAN
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 253
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/15/2018 4:55:08 AM
@feirene

A lot of the women aren't ugly just many have a very inflated sense of how they look, but to allude to a point I made earlier, it's not entirely their fault as thirsty men and mass media have made it a sport of telling every woman she's beautiful no matter how she actually looks.

It's just that, if a person does not look like a model and they're holding out for a model, they're going to have a hard time finding anyone, ever.

>>>i don't need an ego boost, and if i did i wouldn't be looking for one a dating site. <<<

Everyone is not so mentally healthy though. I'm sure there are some crazy profiles on the guy's side you could tell us about, but me not dating men I can't see those. But from a man's side view, some of the profiles women put up are so nuts it's hard to believe they're serious. Take for instance one I read last week: The woman was about 300 pounds. On her profile she DEMANDED a man have a six-pack and even went so far as to make comments chiding men who are overweight.

I believe that if a person is unable to self-reflect they're going to have all kinds of ridiculous expectations. This is a major part of what I see in these profiles, a lack of self-awareness leading to unrealistic expectations + anger from those unrealistic expectations not being met (it's common to see women post A LOT of cursing and anger on their profiles).
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 254
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/15/2018 6:57:25 AM

I believe that if a person is unable to self-reflect they're going to have all kinds of ridiculous expectations. This is a major part of what I see in these profiles, a lack of self-awareness leading to unrealistic expectations + anger from those unrealistic expectations not being met


We have seen the "nice guys" angry because they can't get a "nice girl" threads.

Translation, average to below average men feel entitled to a Victoria's Secret Model because they are "nice".
Well Heidi Klum married Seal, & it wasn't because he was "nice". He was "Seal".

Translation, the average to below average/BBW women feel entitled to Justin Timberlake/Fabio/The Sexy Man DuJour bec. they are "nice/sweet/etc."
Well, that usually doesn't pan out that way.

I do not mean to marginalize people's appearances, income or character & personality. These are just observations of how coupling up happens in general.

If people don't wake up & smell the coffee, well they will be doomed to fantasizing their life away.
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 255
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/15/2018 9:27:05 AM
THEMFNMAN wrote in part:
But from a man's side view, some of the profiles women put up are so nuts it's hard to believe they're serious. Take for instance one I read last week: The woman was about 300 pounds. On her profile she DEMANDED a man have a six-pack and even went so far as to make comments chiding men who are overweight.


They're probably NOT serious---just spoofing to see if they can get a rise out of someone---heck it could be a guy pretending to be an overweight woman just to get his jollies.

And if it is a serious profile, well who cares?? Just because someone DEMANDS something, does not mean they're going to get it. Life doesn't work that way.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 256
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/15/2018 12:39:20 PM

i don't get why some men expect supposedly ugly women to drop their standards so they can personally benefit from that by being able to date someone consider physically unattractive.

I don't think anyone's saying that. I think he's over-inflating the problem due to frustration, as people do when frustrated... but there's underlining truth to it. When you have a 2.5:1 ratio of men-to-women, and on top of that, women being more apprehensive about actually meeting up than men, you are going to find not-that-attractive women having Greater "market value" than IRL.

It sucks for guys when fighting for below-average-Jane is Tough (good luck with slightly-above-average Jane - lol) -- but also for gals who Don't want just a quick-fling with some guys. Average Jane can get Hot Karl, but WTF -- he fizzled out after date #1/2/3! Yeah, part of that is that your online value > IRL. But in the end, IRL value tells the tale as to whether he/she stays with you. Not to say Average Jane Couldn't start truly Dating an Above-Average->Hot guy.... but that part's going to be obviously running into more disappointment to truly "catch" them.

i don't need an ego boost, and if i did i wouldn't be looking for one a dating site.

Many say that, and may be true for some -- and it certainly can get old to have a big ego boost -- but it Is one. To some, the obnoxious messages from strangers doesn't phase them.... or even for those in which it does, it does affect one's view. People want ya. They find you attractive. When a gal's feeling unwanted? Go to POF/Match/Tinder, and don't put too much stock in it -- but you'll see that men really Are attracted to ya. :)

Translation, average to below average men feel entitled to a Victoria's Secret Model because they are "nice".

I don't see that trend at all. Being realistic, it's average to below-average Joe feels entitled that SOME average Jane at least will periodically write him back -- with Interest, without having to wait forever, like he's mining Bitcoin for just that.

For average-to-below-average Joes to be whining about not getting Models online ("Hey, I'm a nice guy! What's the deal?!") -- he'd have to get tired/complacent about getting above-average Janes with ease. :) In general, Mr Nice Guy hasn't even hit "Level 10". He's still complaining about not being able to win Level 5 (out of 10) -- while also seeing women go "woe is me; I get these obnoxious comments from so many men wanting me; can't I just find a nice guy?" -- so his frustration boils over. :)
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 257
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/17/2018 3:28:06 PM
@THEMFNMAN
they're probably getting these guys, i get those guys and like i said i'm only average looking (so they put me off). i don't even ask for them, think it's rude to say what you want looks wise as people can't help what they look like so i just don't reply to anyone i find unattractive or too attractive instead. but yes i have been here a while (inactive mostly for a year) and get what you mean, i remember telling a guy in the forums he wasn't hot and that was why he wasn't getting a response from anyone highly attractive...and although i haven't seen any crazy profiles that guy was nuts and got banned off the site (bet regulars know who i mean).
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 258
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/17/2018 3:40:57 PM
@norwegianguy456
i have seen guys approach women they do not find attractive thinking they are so beneath them (looks wise) that these women will desperately say yes to anything. and then they get offended because someone beneath them looks wise (in their head) has rejected them. i'm 99.9% sure it's why these conversations start off on the first place about looks and being picky. coz let's face it someone having a good time online wouldn't be having these type of begrudging thoughts in the first place, they'd be too busy chatting to who they like or socialising coz they enjoy that.

ok some people may get an ego boost, but they'd have to be messed up in the head or low confidence to get one. i'll keep my thoughts to myself on why i think that. :)

i'm unconventional looking (heavily tattooed, pierced,mohawk), did have on my profile that i was looking for someone similar in looks and nobody normal looking, all i get is bald guys with one tattoo thinking they are that. gotta laugh but i honestly give up hope in finding someone 'nice' who hasn't already fetishised me and wants to act out something off his ticklist before he dies or gets ED.
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 259
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/17/2018 8:54:07 PM

Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost


Most are I believe, some are curious, some don’t do the bar scene(like me too)and some some are just desperate.
 Dinno76
Joined: 2/1/2018
Msg: 260
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/20/2018 5:36:23 PM
Most men can differentiate between having sex and dating. A guy that is a 10 on the looks scale will sometimes have sex with a women that is a 4 or 5 on the looks scale but they will rarely date her. Some women do not realize that unto it is too late and later on they become bitter towards all men. Thus men later complaining about all the bitter angry women they come across online and in real life.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 261
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/21/2018 9:22:27 AM
If I wanted an ego boost I would not go on pof. You get the confidence booted right out of you. Too many times I've started having a nice convo with a guy then he asks if I want to hook up and when I say no I get all sorts of insults hurled my way.
 Dinno76
Joined: 2/1/2018
Msg: 262
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/22/2018 7:03:04 PM
Why are you surprised? Did you actually think most men are looking for relationships? They come on here because they just want to get laid. Why are women surprised of that fact? Do you think people go on Tinder because they are looking for relationships? Relationships are a thing of the past in most cases.
 THEMFNMAN
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 263
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/24/2018 3:48:21 PM
@Dinno76 >>>Most men can differentiate between having sex and dating. A guy that is a 10 on the looks scale will sometimes have sex with a women that is a 4 or 5 on the looks scale but they will rarely date her. Some women do not realize that unto it is too late and later on they become bitter towards all men. Thus men later complaining about all the bitter angry women they come across online and in real life.>>>

Nailed it.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 264
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/24/2018 4:14:30 PM
It's a matter of numbers... (and your locale)

ONLINE on average there's something like a 10 to 1 ratio of men to women.
The women better-than-average and up will be swamped with messages.
The average nice looking girl will also be getting a decent amount of interest.

(flame retardant suit on...)

But on any given night on an outing In Real Life most of the
guys are competing for the so called knock-outs and her peers.

Any others lower on the totem pole will may be completely
passed over, and left drinking and talking with their GFs...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 265
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 2/25/2018 9:57:13 PM

ONLINE on average there's something like a 10 to 1 ratio of men to women.

Not true. It's a sausage-fest for those who aren't senior citizens, but it's not That bad. It's only 10-to-1 if you're talking Universally Good Looking women compared to Every Damn Guy. :)

I did a head-count among "Online Now" several times on POF, when you could do it Logged Out (built-in profile filters wouldn't apply) in non-huge cities in the midwest... thin/athletic/average for men & women, and guys 5'9" or taller + women under 5'11". Turns out, it's about 2.5-to-1, for men & women in 30s & 40s (highest used age brackets). At 70+, there wasn't many more guys than gals.

Still not a desirable ratio for guys. But that's how our culture is, as you'll almost always find more guys than girls at a bar, and not a rarity for it to occasionally be the same level as online.

I think the % of gals willing to follow-thru to meet a guy has gone down a bit VS 12-15 years ago when online-dating became somewhat mainstream. I think a combination of social-media (folks who know folks you know), and the too-many-choices "syndrome". Set up a sampler stand at a grocery store, and put up too many different flavors, and they'll be less likely to buy any one of them.
 ksuser
Joined: 7/17/2018
Msg: 266
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 8/28/2018 10:50:49 AM
Ladyinred "Are women on POF just looking for a Ego boost"?

I just wanted to tell you, thank you for sharing your story. I joined this site exactly the same time you did, I am still single. [I think you guys make such a cute couple]. Nice story, hope your guy has a brother!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 267
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 8/28/2018 12:30:13 PM
If they are looking for an ego boost then they've come to the wrong place.
 risingAlpha
Joined: 7/15/2018
Msg: 268
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 8/28/2018 3:04:07 PM
I agree. I believe the MAJORITY not all.. women are on here is for an ego boost.
Women are emotional people, and like to receive quick burst of endorphins of having their ego boosted by feeling wanted by everyone!
Men are much more physical and direct.
This is why you see countless profiles of women, with beautified unrealistic Snap Chat photos that filter out blemishes on your face, enlarge your eyes and soften your edges combined with revealing clothing, or suggestive poses on here...
And then they have the nerve to say they don't want someone who "PLAYS GAMES" ..... and its like WTF is with all your fake images talking about Playing Games?!?!
They want attention bro.. Most of them have no interest in contacting you, even if you are sincere..
This is why a lot of them instead of actually filling out their profile with things they look for, things they enjoy...
They fill it out with DON"TS.. and THREATS fo being ignored if you DO their DON"TS ... but even if you don't do their don'ts they most likely ignore you anyways because you don't look like Zach Effron!

Shallow Thrill seeking women plague this site. Just because they don't ask for sex.. doesn't mean they aren't getting off.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 269
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 8/28/2018 3:12:37 PM
Thank you very much ksuser. ……………..Nope, BF has 4 younger sisters.

LOL, Some years ago, my mom and her sister, started a catch phrase, for each other. "If you find a man, ask him if he has a brother".

Several years ago, I flew with my mom and aunt out to Monroe, Washington, to attend a family memorial service. The morning of, bright AND early, we were seated at a table, in the lobby of the motel, for breakfast. My mom and aunt were showered, and in their "Sunday best", ready for the day. I was still in my pj's with a hoodie. No sooner did we sit down, the lobby filled with men of all ages, dressed in suit and tie.

With coffee cup in hand, to my mouth, the good lookin' mid aged gentleman standing directly behind me, clear as day, responds to something one of the other men had asked of him. "Well, there's me and I have a brother."

I choked, and sneezed...…………...and laughed. Tears running down my cheeks
 Nathan38416
Joined: 11/18/2017
Msg: 270
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:46:13 AM

I wonder about the women who have an empty profile and links to all of their social media accounts. That speaks for itself.[/quote}

This. Whenever I see something like ''never use this add me on snapchat or insta...'' I automatically think she's doing it for the followers. I once watched a documentary about video games and the number one video game is actually Twitter. It sounds crazy, but they rationalised it as getting followers on Twitter is like getting a high score on Pac-Man. The more followers you have, the better you are.

This is just the same thing. Whenever someone links their snapchat or instagram page on here they're not interested in talking to anyone, they're just looking for the followers. To me it's pretty pathetic. I'd be very surprised if they actually do talk to the guys that message them on snapchat.

Another thing that amuses me is the amount of profiles I see that complain about receiving d*ck pics but still have their snapchat on their profile. I just can't help but think that people do this to themselves.
 Nathan38416
Joined: 11/18/2017
Msg: 271
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/12/2018 1:00:53 AM

There are also women who get a kick out of stringing men along only to disappear at some point, many times right before a date is supposed to take place.


That happened to me in February and it made me feel like absolute s**t. The girl in question was someone I got talking to in November, December maybe. We got along alright, we had things in common, had a good laugh. I asked her maybe three times if she'd like to go on a date with me, she said she'd like to talk a bit more. I knew after the second time I asked that I was gonna get let down, but I thought ''no, give her a chance, she could just be really nervous''. Then a week before the date... ghosted. Blocked me on here, on Facebook. I was really disappointed and I felt really worthless afterwards. I don't understand that mentality, I don't understand how someone, men and women, can be so cruel to another person.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 272
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/12/2018 6:47:58 AM
There's another possibility. Maybe she really was just too nervous. I've chickened out on meeting someone because I like the guy a lot and I'm too scared about the feeling of rejection. I worry that I'll be too nervous on a meeting because I like him so much just based on talking and if he is really intense and gives me too many compliments I feel like he's starting to put me on some sort of unrealistic pedestal and I feel too much pressure to be the person he thinks I am and I worry about the disappointment.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 273
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/16/2018 6:06:13 PM

That happened to me in February and it made me feel like absolute s**t. The girl in question was someone I got talking to in November, December maybe. We got along alright, we had things in common, had a good laugh. I asked her maybe three times if she'd like to go on a date with me, she said she'd like to talk a bit more.

If you're talking to a girl (in your general area) and she doesn't want to meet you within a couple weeks -- she's not interested. Period. You should be kicking Yourself, instead, for riding that fake train. :) I think many of us have done that when young & new to the Internet... but it's a quick lesson to learn.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 274
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Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/16/2018 6:13:07 PM
If she's talking to you she is probably at least a little interested. It can be pretty scary meeting a strange eye somewhere. Sometimes it takes a while to feel like you are comfortable enough to meet someone in person. I won't meet anyone unless I've spoken with them a couple weeks minimum.
 WhatNamesAreLeftThen
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 275
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/16/2018 8:27:14 PM

I won't meet anyone unless I've spoken with them a couple weeks minimum.


Too many women on here are time wasters that either never have any intention of meeting or are too timid and expect a guy to just wait around for months. I can't tell you how many hundreds of hours I wasted talking to women only to be ghosted. A couple of weeks is usually anywhere between two and twenty hours invested. NO! Pull your thumb out of your bum and meet up. There is no good reason not to if your intentions are to find a mate.
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