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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 76
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pof girls eat and leavePage 4 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Take them to McDonald's
order two kids meal....
Go play in the play area,
have a food fight.
This way you payed, played
and most likely got kicked out.
All for under $10 bucks.
Priceless!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 77
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/3/2017 2:44:24 PM

Isn't a dinner date over after dinner? Ohhh... I get it: They were supposed to pay for it with sex(?)

There's no Default that it's over after dinner, if it's a weekend date and/or both don't get up early in the morning for work. If there's mutual interest, even many times without so much of it, it continues on going somewhere down the block or staying there after dinner for some drinks. If a date started & ended with Just Dinner That's It by default, then the whole "gals just want free food" would have some merit to it. :) With many non-super-packed restaurants, you begin your date by greeting & getting a table, and 5-15 minutes after you sat down, they take your order... and 10-15 minutes later your food's there.... and 10-20 minutes you're done... and 5 minutes later you get the check, game over.

So a just-eat-and-dash date could easily be a quick as a 30m date if the place isn't at all busy. If the gal had no interest, it'd be quite WTF for her to have the guy pay the whole thing and for her to dash out of there. Unless it was a charity date, it's situations like those that should make a light-bulb go off to make one think "Wait, there ARE circumstances where a gal should split the bill..." :)

Those women are what we call "Dinner Whores" Never go out to dinner on a blind date or first date.

In that example, yes, that would be a "Dinner Whore". However, that doesn't mean never make going out to dinner part of a 1st date. I can see why a guy wouldn't want to. Dating can be expensive, and it's going the more expensive route. An after-dinner date -- like grabbing some drinks at a few places near each other, talking, walking, and having a drink in each is a better idea. Not necessarily that inexpensive, but it's cheaper than dinner if you're drinking a ton, and obviously cheaper than dinner+that.

Sooo... If I pay for dinner, it means I'm not interested?

Some guys fear lack of interest when a gal does that, and may jump the gun assuming that, yes. Because most of the time, if there was no initial heads-up beginning the date and she wasn't projecting any clear Like about you, it means she's not interested. But if you are interested, that assumption can easily be avoided by projecting your interest. Problem solved.

And if I leave a dinner date after dinner, it also means I'm not interested? Not interested in what, recruitment into the sex trade?

If you ate your last bite, wanted nothing more and to go -- it sure can mean that. Especially on a weekend early evening where it's only 30-ish minutes after you walked in the door. Would you Want to, if you had no set plans afterwards elsewhere? "Yeah, I can do dinner for the date, sure. We can meet at 6, but I gotta be back home by around 7. You're paying, btw." :)

If she demands dinner then I'm sure you know she is a dinner whore unless she will mentioned it to you to go dutch. I fell for that once at the end it was nit in her favor.

That's not good advice. You'll throw the baby out with the bathwater. I can see aiming not for dinner, but due to window-openings, it may be suitable. Doesn't have to be an expensive place. Forcing dutch will end up snagging things up with most gals. But most aren't going to press for dinner. You can go to a bar, have a couple drinks, and share an appetizer if they're hungry.

After a few dates usually around 3, I know if I actually want to spend a longer time with them so don't mind being "trapped" in a dinner date.

I don't think a dinner date is some big long time-trapping thing, especially if you go by "it's done after we ate the food, dammit!". Many though will be elongated and you'll be sitting at your table much longer than the food -- or going elsewhere nearby right afterwards. That's why a quick little happy-hour or night-cap-drink date during the week can be a good idea, as it's not (necessarily) going to last long, and easy to make it short without being weird (after it's just been an hour).... as opposed to a standard-ops dinner date which out of the box, is expected to last 2-4hrs, depending on the level of interest (or warning on time one has, beforehand).

First I don't believe in women waiting X amount of dates to pay their way or that a man has to pay for everything.

You're in the small minority among women outside of big city, but even if one is, it's still in the minority (at least here in the U.S.). That includes women who don't totally disagree with that statement -- but when the rubber meats the road, they Ideally Want it that way, and their interest will drop if it doesn't unfold more-or-less like that (unless she was in a unique situation chasing him down in the first place and makes decent $).

Also I hate splitting the bill and it drives me mad, just pay the damned bill and be done with it!

"I got this one, you got next one," is common. Think about it -- for the gals who ARE TRULY 101% Liking the concept of the guy not paying for almost everything, once settled in as an item -- what do you think happens? Sometimes, yes, splitting the bill isn't weird. But also -- I got this one, you got next one... or the guy gets the dinner tab, she puts the drinks on her tab afterward. Stuff like that. It's easy to do among friends, so why not dates? Because most gals at Least Prefer the guy to pay for almost everything. That's what makes splitting the bill "weird" on dates. It's not a weird concept. When out with a gal-pal, it's not.

Only when I've found paying for everything myself has become a recurring pattern, do I bring a halt to proceedings.

Or a recruiting pattern. ;) But no, one shouldn't keep count when it comes to mini-dates like a coffee shop or a quick drink after work before going home, etc. However, for full-on dates, it becomes though. Pretty much, you should err on the side of paying, but also be well equipped in having her contribute more than pocket-change over the course of a few dates -- which can be done for many comfortably. I always say, practice with gals on 1st dates who you're not that interested in - lol. One thing can be, say, after dinner as the main course, to say "Here, I'll get this," (even if she didn't even give a faux offer to contribute) -- followed with, "and you can just get me a couple drinks at the next place." That sorta thing is always good, if you didn't Literally Ask to Take Her Out and she is seemingly self-supportive.
 Housh123
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 78
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gettin' some lobster tail
Posted: 12/3/2017 11:15:21 PM
These responses are so funny to me


Basically blaming the man with no info at all. Going off the info given we can only assume this guy got fleeced


It’s funny seeing this response because it’s basisly telling him to be a pariah and read minds


At least acknowledge that MAYBE his date played him lol
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 79
lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/4/2017 5:35:37 AM
"I don't see why people get so wound up by cash, when you are giving away something more valuable (time and effort)"

>>>I agree, money is a tool (if you are still in good health or smart enough to make it). But many people might waste their time and/or effort on someone, not realizing they've found a human just after their money. Sometimes we need to consider how people consider our money, as a measurement of their interest--are they dating us for us, or for the wonderful time we buy for them? But then that assumes we have a better opportunity, if we decide to ditch a person b/c they're only interested in our money. If we hate being alone, and someone's willing to put up with us in return for us buying them dinner, and we're both adults and know this is going on at some level...what's wrong with a business deal? :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 80
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/4/2017 12:43:02 PM
I see the problem as people not trying to get to know the person a little before the first date. Another thing is that I don't understand why people are spending a lot of money on food on a first date anyway. Personally, I would not feel comfortable going out on a first date where there is a big outlay of cash by the man. I would feel awful if I had to conclude the date by saying I wasn't interested if it turned out that way. Men need to stop spending a lot of money on a first date, it's so simple. If they do want to spend a lot of money, then they should be okay with doing so no matter what the outcome is. Some people just like to go out and enjoy themselves and don't care how the date ends and that's the way it should be.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 81
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/4/2017 9:33:18 PM

I see the problem as people not trying to get to know the person a little before the first date.

Ideally, you do categorically get to know them (ideally) to some extent. But to get to know them -- ya gotta meat. Err, meet. :) Unless you want to play the pen-pal game. Good luck with that. :)

Another thing is that I don't understand why people are spending a lot of money on food on a first date anyway.

Here's the thing -- something a lot of guys don't understand IRL until they look at their bank records... A date doesn't have to cost so much. And this whole thing isn't about 1st-date-only, either. There certainly can be and will be a 2nd & 3rd date with some out there fitting this situation. If a guy's going out on 1 date every 6 months and complaining --then yeah, he should make sure he's not taking her to some big expensive place. His problem should be solved, there (and probably wouldn't be an issue anyway).

Thing is, you're not just paying for yourself -- you're doing that + paying for someone else. You're Doubling what you'd be paying going out with friends. It adds up Quick, especially if you're Active in the dating scene thru a period of time. And no, not every gal's going to want to come over right off the bat to "Netflix & Chill." Of course, it is pretty cool when they do -- not just for financial reasons! ;)

EX: Meet up at 7PM to an inexpensive restaurant. Can't go to Fizzoli's or something, but picking a spot that's not an expensive joint.
COST: $10 food plate + $10 (2 female drinks) = $20 + $4 tip = $24. That's hers. Guy's about the same. Overall -- ~$50 after tip. Maybe ~$40-$45... $20 or slightly more each if going to a real low-key bar or a place during the week with specials. So let's call it: $45, post-tip.

Go elsewhere, and have a couple drink for a nightcap after walking to it, talking, etc. for a while, taking your time, talking. Oh, she doesn't pick this one up? $22.

So let's just call it $65 for a date from 7PM - 10:30 or 11PM. Not crazy. Not expensive date. It's under $35 for dinner + night out with drinks, for just "you". :)

Active in the dating scene? Imagine 1.5x a week. 1.5 x 4.3333 weeks in a month = 6.5 dates. 6.5 x $65 = $422.50. Now, take half that -- $200/mo on just the girl, not counting the Extra $$ you're spending on yourself going out there. And, many guys will Wisely not waste their weekends for dates either. Some of their own expenses are extras because, especially for 1st or 2nd dates, they're not going to be sacrificing a weekend if they're a social-outing type with friends, etc.

Just 1 Fruitful date? Not much. But it adds up. Skip dinner -- go for the drinks. Make it 3 drinks each as a classic 1st? That's cool. Fits a during-week thing... but weekend and/or 2nd/3rd date -- you will at some point, yeah, grab inexpensive food, which adds to things. Just sayin'. And as a guy, whether you like it or not -- ya don't want to bring a gal to Steak & Shake or the Waffle House for a 1st date to cut costs ("I got a pint of vodka in my glove compartment, too Babe!"). The cost of *A* date isn't going to be too much. But they add up when Active.
 TheTenOfClubs2017
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 82
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 6:02:38 AM
It seems guys need to have a wallet full of dollar to get women(Shrugs) I cannot cook, so I have to open my wallet....(checks for loose change)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 83
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 3:53:30 PM
NG, I get that dating can add up, so guys should set a budget of what they can or want to spend.

I think a problem for those that complain is that they're only interested in sex, and are always thinking about how much is it going to cost to get it. If you're interested in a relationship, you enjoy a date for companionship. My sister commented on this "I'm paying for myself too" once. She said the guy is also enjoying the meal. I guess if guys are making a game of it, how little money can I spend and get sex, that's not really dating. That's called paying for sex. It's no wonder a guy will say they may as well go with a prostitute. I wish men would just go to pros if that's what they want. Why go thru this big pretense to date?
 TheTenOfClubs2017
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 84
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 4:01:24 PM
Women claim they want equality, but they refuse to pay for themselves on a date...I cannot believe women feel so entitled(spits on the floor)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 5:07:33 PM

6jellybeans
Does it really matter? Seriously, I go out with my family and someone pays. It doesn't matter who but someone pays. I go out with friends and someone pays. Doesn't matter who but someone pays. Its just money.

You must live in some kind of alternate reality. Either that, or you’re doing some very good drugs!

Someone here in these forums, just recently, made a comment that you need to clean the bowl of your bong periodically, else the results can get to be entirely too powerful.


NewYorker58
I think a problem for those that complain is that they're only interested in sex, and are always thinking about how much is it going to cost to get it. If you're interested in a relationship, you enjoy a date for companionship.

Jeez Louiz, are we really doing this again? And again and again and again?

Pay attention this time!


Men give a relationship to get sex. Women give sex to get a relationship.

Knock knock. Is there anyone at home in there, did you hear me this time?

And while I’m here, let me refute this point as well. “Only interested in sex” – I am really, really tired of hearing that. Two things:

Number one, it would be much closer to the truth to say, “Primarily interested in sex”.

Number two, just because a particular woman only interests me for a good time / sex, does not mean that some other woman will not make me very interested in a relationship. NorwegianGuy covered that point very well in a recent post.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 86
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lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 5:47:25 PM
Henry, my point was that men who b!tch JUST want sex. Then that's their problem if they're counting their pennies while trying to obtain it. That was my point.

 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 87
lobster tails and some stuffing
Posted: 12/5/2017 5:55:31 PM
Correction: " Men who "****", .............do so, because they can. Period.
Men who just want sex, may or may not "****".
One is not dependent upon the other.
I'd ****,.............. if I had to count pennies!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 88
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/5/2017 8:39:53 PM

It seems guys need to have a wallet full of dollar to get women(Shrugs) I cannot cook, so I have to open my wallet....

His dating options will be limited if his budget is, that's for sure. And even if he can cook -- good luck having 1st dates (and even many 2nd ones) come over to your pad for cooking at his home. Can be done here and there -- but not necessarily terribly inexpensive when compared to inexpensive joints that add up, too. But I think that comes into play when there's some dates already under your belt. And getting to that point takes multiple gals, and many dates combined ($$). Add to that -- most women are not just going to want to sit at home and "Netflix & Chill" so early on. A main part of going out to eat is the "going out" part.

Does it really matter?

Yeah, it does. You're in the small minority, and most women, when the rubber meats the road -- actually don't feel that way. It's good that that's your POV if that truly is, when it boils down to it.

Seriously, I go out with my family and someone pays.

Family situations are different. We all know that, if you're talking about "splitting the bill" in and of itself (which is different than above).

I go out with friends and someone pays. Doesn't matter who but someone pays.

It's not weird but More Common for waiters/waitresses to give you Separate Checks. One would be going out of their way to say "No I got this" when they didn't owe them for anything else. When it's a BOY-GIRL situation, they ask or just give 1. If it's a boy & girl who are Clearly just friends, It's Not At All Weird to say "Separate".

Doesn't matter who but someone pays. Its just money.

I think you're trying to rationalize your POV. It's not that, you don't believe "it's just money". If you go out with your parents, pay most of the time. Heck, every time. It's just money. OH, you never pay? No sh!t. :)

If its cash then I prefer it if I can give the cash to my significant other and they use that to settle the bill.

Ahhh, how about a date? Date #1-3? But also, with an SO or anyone else -- you can give them cash even if just 1 check came out, sure. You don't have to demand two separate ones. One can do the basic split in their head, no exactness. That's where "it's just money" comes in. You can give them a $20 if yours is +/ $20 or so, or if you only have a $10, you throw them that and say "I'll get ya a drink elsewhere."

Look, there IS a difference between you out with your parents & you out with a gal-pal & you out on a date.

It is weird. I hate splitting bills. Just hate it. It drives me insane.

You just said you can give cash to the other person IF they give you just one bill (which they tend to do on a boy-girl situation).

I can not be doing with the whole pocket calculator, rummaging around for £10 and who had extras thing.

First, "split the bill" can mean getting 2 separate checks. When out with friends, they pass them out by default at almost all places. A group of 5 gals isn't going to just get 1. At most, they'll ask if they want them separate or "all on one". If they're a sh!tty waiter/waitress, they may say they don't know who got what, so you're stuck with 1 -- but from my experience, that's rare. And if you're out with 4 other gals, YOU'RE going to pay the WHOLE thing -- that will make you "not sweat"? WTH? :) Or is it just nervous when out on a date with Brad? :)

I don't understand this concept of money being such as massive issue.

Hey, you're the one sweating and freaking out! Look, it's weird to get too technical when out on a date, I totally agree. You'll get 1 check by default, unlike out with gal-pals. "I got this one, you got next one." -- that's splitting a different way. Or "I'll get the tip here and get the drinks over at Billy Bob's Brewery after this." Nobody's asking for exactness. Why is it weird to just more-or-less exchange? I think you're making it hard on yourself, and it's in your own head... because it's a BOY-GIRL thing. :)

Its like gifts. If you are likely to regret giving it then don't blinking well give it in the first place!!!

I don't think it is. I can see the weirdness in that, though. It's not expected. It'd be like going out on a date, then, spur of the moment, "Here, let's ride on this horse carriage! My treat!" But even then, that doesn't make you responsible to "pay them back". A gift is actually a little weirder. Especially if you buy her bra & panties on a 1st date (that are a little too small or way too big on her too boot!).
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 89
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 4:14:26 AM
When I was with my ex we had a very fair arrangement when we ate out? We took it in turns to pay and also treated each other to gifts on birthdays, Xmas and valentines day. I think this arrangement is equality and what every modern couple should be doing, unless one is earning considerably more than the other. It was fun taking it in turns to buy dinner and we both felt special.

This is not the 1950s when a lot of women were not in the work place earning their own money and gaining wealth. Women need to throw out the old rule book(A man Must always pay) Women should not be putting themselves above men and expect to be treated like princesses, because they claim they don’t need men, so why would they need our money?

Going on a first date are two independent strangers, so why would one expect the other to pay? Why do women assume that just, because a guy wants to be treated like a man and not a cash cow, that he just wants sex? Attempted shaming tactics don’t work and a first date is just a brief getting to know someone.

Does a man really expect sex on a first date? Does a woman expect sex on a first date? Maybe some, but it still has nothing to do with paying your own way and nobody is meant to be selling their bodies for a meal, so why do some women have this mentality that their bodies have a price on them?

If a woman is making a fuss about paying her own way on a first date, then you can safely say she will always expect a man to pay and the red flag should be waving at this point.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 90
pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 5:41:59 AM
"Gender Neutrality" would cure this major "problem", wouldn't it?

I mean seriously, wouldn't it?????

Then again, we would end up having one less whiney thread in these waters.

Good or bad?
 mrod3041
Joined: 1/11/2014
Msg: 91
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 5:57:45 AM
Hmmm....another funny thread.

People are gonna do what they want, no matter what. Making sense of POF is like trying to make sense of a comet that hits an asteroid field. Who knows what happens after a comet hits?

People are going to have their own justifications for what happens, why they do what they do, and why their sex acts the way they do. Its pretty funny. Live life and smile.

Go eat and enjoy eating with someone you met. Maybe it will work (hopefully it does) but maybe it wont. Go on to the next one if the latter. These discussions just seem like they end up in the same place. :) No one seems to agree and people justify their actions, no matter what they do.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 92
pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 2:15:34 PM
mrod, LOL You do realize you are in the POF Forums, right?
Your logic may fall on deaf ears..............there are dead horses hiding here. Gives people something to do.
I agree with you ..............never knew the, "Who pays" issue was such a hot topic until I entered the kingdom of POF Forums.

Go eat and enjoy eating with someone you met. Maybe it will work (hopefully it does)...............


It did! it did! Worked very well!
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 93
pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 4:07:41 PM
Maybe guys should set up a GoFundMe page to pay for the dates, and that way, it wouldn't feel like a financial loss if it doesn't work out.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 94
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 4:27:42 PM
Site to Sight, these guys have the money to spend, they just seem to be spending it on random women like jellybean mentioned. If they were more serious about who they chose, they wouldn't keep putting out cash and ending up without someone to date. If I had women using me for a meal, which I still think is a crazy thought that women do that, I would be seriously pissed off and would change the way I do things. Spend less, be more creative.
 Dinno76
Joined: 11/2/2017
Msg: 95
pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/6/2017 4:29:27 PM
Maybe take them to a dinner date at McDonald's order from the dollar menu.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 96
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/7/2017 6:15:55 PM

women using me for a meal, which I still think is a crazy thought that women do that,


Really?

Have you never heard of insurance fraud?
Welfare fraud?
Embezzling money at work?
Skimming money off the top?
Money laundering?

With all that kind of chicanery going on, does it really seem incomprehensible to you that some unscrupulous women would just use men for free meals?


Women should not be putting themselves above men and expect to be treated like princesses,


Unless, of course, their last name really is Windsor or Grimaldi or Bourbon.



Seems to me as though there are quite a few guys on here meeting a whole heap of random women


Well, that's certainly not the 2500+ pages of guys on the Profile Review Forum.
Most of them can barely get a response, let alone a date.


"Gender Neutrality" would cure this major "problem", wouldn't it?

I mean seriously, wouldn't it?????


Doubtful.
I suspect that the new argument would be that "tall" people should pay instead of the "shorter" people, because the short people believe that tall people have it easier in life that the shorter people.
 mrod3041
Joined: 1/11/2014
Msg: 97
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/7/2017 10:47:17 PM
I have actually thought about doing the Mickey Dees thing one day, and act all serious about it to see the reaction. It would probably be H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.

:)
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 98
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/8/2017 3:47:07 AM
^^^
It would weed out the gold diggers.
Unless they are crazy and think
the golden arches are real tee hee
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 99
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pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/8/2017 6:04:05 PM


I have actually thought about doing the Mickey Dees thing one day, and act all serious about it to see the reaction. It would probably be H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.


Quite a few years back, in one of the really long running threads, McD came up. If memory serves, it was the same thread where I first learned that using a coupon on a date was the worst faux pas imaginable. Who knew?

Anyway, some man commented that he had met women for coffee dates at McDonalds. After all, they are everywhere, and they do have good coffee these days. An unbelievable furor erupted. It was fun to watch, truly it was.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 100
pof girls eat and leave
Posted: 12/8/2017 6:33:23 PM
LOL Mc'D's..................Some years ago, met a guy there, per his request. He offered to buy. I politely refused. He questioned me. I chuckled. "Has nothing to do with who pays, or who doesn't pay. We could have met at the gas station around the corner. Bought a bottle of water, head to the park, sit on a park bench. .............Actually I hate McDonalds."
As he was laughing he admitted he wasn't fond of Mc'D's either. He just wanted to see how I would react to the whole thing.

Epic fail...................
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