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Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 26
Is this true?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Anytime a gal messaged me first, sex was practically a given.

So, I learned not to send first messages...
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 27
Is this true?
Posted: 3/29/2017 8:18:33 AM

Now I'm learning that dating coaches for men are saying that the men are supposed to expect the ladies to do 70-80% of all pursuing, texting and phoning in a relationship. I can't believe this. Is it true? Does it work many men?

How many men have you known to actually have a "dating coach"????

Most dudes here come to whine about getting no responses...I doubt they're waiting for their Miss. Right to put out any effort. Just saying.
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 28
Is this true?
Posted: 3/29/2017 8:29:15 AM
I am she wants me she needs to come and get me. Okay maybe I will chase the right one when I find her until then I keep looking for that eye catching picture, and reading lots of profiles for that one standing out above others.
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 29
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Is this true?
Posted: 3/29/2017 10:24:08 AM
For those of you who are interested, one of the UTube dating coaches who said that men should expect women to text or call them 70-80% of the time was Corey Wayne.

Here is another of his videos, in which he advises men of how to get women to chase them. Would like to hear responses from those of you who watch it.

IMHO -- His techniques wouldn't work on most women, but the advice might help a man who had been trying too hard.

For those of you who wonder about how many people would actually seek the opinions of dating coaches, and life coaches -- apparently a lot of people do. Among them are those who return to the dating scene after a long marriage, young people new to dating, and those who have suffered from numerous dating failures. And those who are seeking advice about a specific situation.

I don't know how mixed up a person would have to be to seek a dating or life coach. But I think that it is possible to learn something from anyone -- no matter how intelligent one is.
Joined: 1/31/2017
Msg: 30
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Is this true?
Posted: 4/4/2017 11:29:47 AM
[Dating, reminds me of begging. To me, there's a fine line between asking, or lowering myself esteem and beg for a date. Being persistent about it just lowers my self worth. One no, and I'm not asking again. I'll go away. Women are pretty good about wanting a man to chase after them. I won't do it. To me, its demeaning, and you're throwing your values under the bus. I will work with a person, and ask when I feel the time is right. If you say no-Bye. Anything after that no, is begging.]

I'm with this guy. I will admit, that my whole experience with online dating has damaged my self esteem. I don't have a thin skin, but I am not bullet-proof. Don't get me wrong, I have had dates with girls I met on Two of them were actually as their picture portrayed them, which was nice. However, I was quick to get the "nice guy" speech. So, I drew the conclusion that relationships just weren't in the cards for me. I will admit that I foolishly signed up for a free trial a few weeks ago, just to see what would happen. I did communicate with one girl, that I would have liked to meet at some point, but as soon as I got the feeling that I was putting in too much work/energy, I stopped communication with her. Guess what happened: I never heard back from her. Yes, it disappointed me a bit, but I'm no longer willing to put in so much work to what I assume/know will be a very small reward. I guess you could say I wasn't willing to beg to communicate/get to know this girl, or risk damage to my self esteem for something that is most likely going to lead to nothing. I'd beg for season tickets to the Miami Dolphins. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't see it that way.
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 31
Is this true?
Posted: 4/4/2017 4:15:12 PM

Would like to hear responses from those of you who watch it.

O.M.G. I watched it and I agree with you, I doubt his teachings would benefit anyone. That bit about "Let her make all the dates...don't communicate first until she asks you to". Seriously? If I noticed that I always had to put in more effort to keep a relationship alive? I'd assume it was dead at the start and stop trying.

Corey Wayne is out to sell his books. Who needs to read a book ten to fifteen times to understand it??? He said it like three times in his infomercial...err...tutorial.

For those of you who wonder about how many people would actually seek the opinions of dating coaches, and life coaches -- apparently a lot of people do.

I'm not trying to dis anyone who might need a dating coach, but I've never known anyone in real life to admit to ever having one. Therapist? Sure. Dating Coach? Nope.

I think that it is possible to learn something from anyone -- no matter how intelligent one is.

I agree, but Corey Wayne is NOT that guy. IMHO.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 32
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Is this true?
Posted: 4/4/2017 6:38:33 PM
I posted earlier and don't know if this has been said yet.. but back in 2008 I met two men here. It was my first time online dating. The man I see now was one of them. I was very interested by his looks, profile, sense of humor in the profile. I viewed his profile and the next day there was a message from him asking why I viewed and didn't write. We exchanged about 6 emails that day and planned to meet the next day.

My point that I omitted in the last post is meet sooner than later. Meet as soon as you feel a connection electronically. To continue with texts and emails means nothing. Pursuing by text means nothing until he has met you. Meet in person or you have no idea who you are talking to. You could be talking to a 14 year old in his room staying up past his bedtime.

At the time I met Curt his schedule was more flexible than mine. I was teaching full time so I did do the "pursuing" as in letting him know when I was available. Their was no question in my mind that he was interested because every time I told him I could see him he came. ( no pun intended).

So "pursuing" if you will worked for me better than him trying to nail me down and make the plans because I had limited time to offer him working two jobs and having kids at home under 18.

It still works that way for us 8 years later. I call him and let him know the nights or weekends I can make time for him and he shows up every time. If I had always just left the ball in his court we probably wouldn't have ended up with our friendship and intimacy we have today.
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 33
Is this true?
Posted: 4/4/2017 7:00:58 PM
Thats all BS.
You do your part. If you want to contact a man first that fine. The man has to do his part too. He also has to reach out as well. If he waits for you to do 70 to 80%. Walk way. Unless it does not bother you.
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 34
Is this true?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:41:52 AM
gtomustang, your earlier post, #8, and this OPs question... reminds me of the three bulls on the hill story lol
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
Is this true?
Posted: 4/6/2017 2:47:02 PM
remind me, is that the one where the young bull wants to run down the hill and snag one of the beautiful heiffers as they all run in panic, and the older bull says no, let's take our time getting down there so we don't scare any, and have them all?
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 36
Is this true?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:34:07 PM
thats the traditional story.
Years ago... I modified it by adding a third.

Theres three bulls on a hill.
Ones young, ones old, and one..a really fit Brahma Alpha male stud bull.

Below them are a herd of female cows. The young one says, "Hey dad, hey Uncle T, lets run down there and fu©k one of them cows!"
The old one says, " Nah son... lets walk down there and fu©k them all"
(there the trasitional parable ends...)

The third bull, the biggest and fittest of them all says... "You two go ahead. Those females... when they see me? I will let them fight amongst themselves, and the best of the herd can come running to me".

Seemingly unrelated? I also long ago realized the art of fighting is very similar to the art of fu©king in many ways.
Hows rhat relevant? Well...
Whwn it comes to engaging the other 'erson to initiate either? Never let whats going on inside you show on the outside, and sont let whats happening on the outside affect you inside. In other words..carry with you an air of indifference.

Believe me... it really works.
The problem with women doing 70%? Is that it leaves the rest in the dust. A guys gonna pay a lot more attention to a woman who actively shows an interest in him. Its very competitive too, prompting women to be even more proactive in acquiring a man.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:28:27 AM
"how do you get to know someone, when the advice is to date many, don't get attached?"

>>>in theory, if the guy isn't trying hard to impress the woman, it gives her try to impress him. The best way to do that, is for the guy to not put all his proverbial eggs in one basket. If he has multiple sources for romance, sex, company, etc, then he isn't pushing one woman for all of it, and she will see him as unique from all the other guys pushing her, and she'll invest in him. And that's why they say, don't hate the player, hate the need for the game :)

of course, this doesn't work on a grown-up woman who is sick of the BS and the games, and just wants to deal honestly with a real man. But such a unicorn got married a long time ago, who let's this adult get away from them :) The girls who love games and live on drama? well, you may find there isn't a lot of themselves worth getting to know. Men who pay attention, may know everything there is to know about her after the first date.

some men love a woman who chases. These men tend to not be amazingly attractive, not lucky in love, and enjoy finding out a woman finds them attractive enough to break the role. They won't disrespect a woman for chasing...but its possible they may get to know her, and find enough to not be interested in.

my father used to teach me that none of us can make others think anything they do not want to think. Commanding someone to do something might force them into doing it, but they wouldn't like it. making it seem like it was their idea to do it, however, could get them to embrace the notion. Conversely, a woman who pursues a interested. She's less likely to flake than the girl who had to get talked into going out on a date, who's probably just there for the free meal.
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 38
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Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:42:59 AM
@ youstillhere
communication is a two-way street
if she had other plans for the weekend
your little fingers were capable of texting or picking up phone and calling this woman
and ya know...actually talking to her about it
and about when the two of you can get together
instead it sounds like you got miffy and left
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 39
Is this true? Cosmo's guidelines?
Posted: 7/4/2017 7:02:32 AM
My best results were with gals contacting me first

It also helps if a guy meets Cosmos 666 rule

6 feet plus
6 figures
6 plus inches

I'm havin' a devil of a time here...
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 40
Is this true? Cosmo's guidelines?
Posted: 7/4/2017 2:51:55 PM
I thought you were engaged in romantical bliss?^^^^^^|^
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 41
Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 3:00:29 PM

If you're looking for something to be afraid of, you'll certainly find it no matter where you look.

I think the lady just wants some conversation. If she wanted to get dates, she'd be over in her inbox, not here. :-)
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 42
Is this true? Cosmo's guidelines?
Posted: 7/4/2017 3:01:33 PM
In a world where the difference between flirting and harassing is whether or not the woman finds you attractive, it's best to let them make all the moves!

Even then we're not safe! Women can easily have second thoughts AFTER a night of consent and still ruin a mans life!
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 43
Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 3:15:27 PM
"...the men are supposed to expect the ladies to do 70-80% of all pursuing..."

Well, women wanted to be men and men they've become. That is what feminism is all about. In short, it's entirely of you doing. (shrugs)
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 44
Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 4:04:22 PM
We're living in a time of so-called "equality" now, so I believe this makes horseshit like "gender roles" obsolete now, yes? Women can't very well scream equality out of one side of their mouths and "special treatment" out the other.

I haven't dealt with an "old fashioned" woman in quite a long time, and don't plan to ever again. So, any woman who has an aversion to asking a guy out can f*ck off, as far as I'm concerned.
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 45
Is this true?
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:37:52 PM
Hello and welcome back, Mr. Pig!
I like equality. ...I'm bold and old
and rejection is usually a relief..of
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 46
Is this true?
Posted: 7/5/2017 7:00:21 AM
Heeey there. Thanks, Boo.
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 47
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Is this true?
Posted: 7/5/2017 10:35:05 AM

Well, women wanted to be men and men they've become. That is what feminism is all about.

Actually it isn't. But don't let that get in the way of your lack of success with the ladies, eh?
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48
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Is this true?
Posted: 7/5/2017 11:27:23 AM
Everything you read/see on the internet is true!!!
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 49
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Is this true?
Posted: 7/8/2017 5:50:28 AM
All I want to say about all this is, that as in all things, the PROCESS you choose to follow, will determine the OUTCOME you arrive at.

Men and women who wait for the other to initiate, end up with more aggressive and more self-centered mates. The ones who insist on leading, tend to end up with followers. Players end up with people who like being played, and so on.
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 50
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Is this true?
Posted: 7/8/2017 11:11:54 PM
I am with Purplerider. Never would I beg for anything, as a child or now. Never wanted anything that badly.
If my parents said no, that was it. Anything more and we would be punished.

It should all be give and take and okay a woman may like the guy to make the initial efforts but as for wanting men to chase so we feel more desirable, that is old fashioned behaviour when women were more or less commodities to be won and bought.
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