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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What is the hardest part of divorce?      Home login  
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 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 76
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What is the hardest part of divorce? Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^^^^
First person I had it with turned out to be me.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 77
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/5/2018 6:02:26 PM

I don't think any couple goes into a marriage expecting it to last only a few years. I could be wrong<<<


I do believe you are wrong.

I worked with this particular woman years ago when I worked in a supermarket, and she told me one day that she was engaged, and I said congrats, and then she said, "If it doesn't work out, we can always get divorced".

I thought to myself, "That doesn't sound like a good attitude to go into a marriage with".

Guess what happened 2 years later?

And then, she was arrested and jailed for stealing money from the company.

Strong mental grounding there.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 78
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/5/2018 9:15:31 PM
Rise, is that where you derived your name from Can't have a bad time with yourself as a "date"☺
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 79
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/6/2018 3:05:14 AM
Actually my left hand has been pissed off at me for over 40 years because my right hand gets all the attention. Sometimes it tries to get involved but it just turns into a big fight between the two of them and once that happens all the romance fades and I end up going to sleep unsatisfied.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 80
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/6/2018 7:48:52 PM
Ya know, the left hand doesn't have to be left out. It can be relegated to a$$-play or caressing one's bollocks
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 81
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/7/2018 12:40:04 AM

The hardest part of divorcing is deciding who to have sex with first

That's why you go for more than 1 at a time. Nothing better than a sampler platter after being starved for so long, right? ;)
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 82
What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/9/2018 8:07:23 PM
Hardest part was/is definitely dealing with being away from the kids for periods of.time wondering if he's taking care of them and what lies about me are the kids going to come back with from him. The transition back to my house from his is the hardest part, the kids are so mouthy and spewing hate cor me because their father says terrible stuff about me.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 83
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/9/2018 8:31:34 PM
NG, now that you brought it up, what's with men wanting to double team a woman? It sounds a little bi to me.

July, that's awful! My gf is going thru this, between things he says to their child about her, telling him to not be a wimp and stop trying to please her (he's male, 13 now), and being nuts. He doesn't think twice about ripping the poor kid down. She's hoping to go for full custody with all he's done, but the courts are so permissive. Technically, one parent is not allowed to talk bad about the other.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 84
What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/21/2018 11:02:28 PM
Right now I am so frustrated with trying to figure out how to serve him with papers. He refuses to tell me where he is living and a process server was unable to find him to deliver the papers. Yet he keeps phoning and talking to the kids and telling them I won't let them come see him. He wants me to meet him at a McDonald's at a halfway point and for me to give him the kids but I won't because I'm terrified he won't bring them back. And until I can get a custody order he could theoretically pick them up from school and take them and I'd have no legal right to get them back. I've told him until I am able to serve him papers and get interim custody figured out and know his address, he won't get to take them. He said then I'll just have to explain to the kids why they can't see their dad.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 85
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/22/2018 12:56:15 AM
Next time you talk to him mention that you'll also have to explain to them why they missed out on so much as kids because he did nothing to support them. If they meant something to him he wouldn't play this game. Chances are pretty good he only talks with them to get under your skin. If they really meant something to him he'd help support them. There's nothing stopping him from sending money occasionally.

No I'm not stalking you. These were the only interesting threads active when I woke up.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 86
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/22/2018 7:44:55 PM
I'm with Rise, he's using the kids to annoy you. He doesn't care about them, that's obvious. He shouldn't be lying and ripping you down to them. My gf's ex is doing that too. She recently served him at his apt, using a server to get money owed. Her son is 13 now and has some understanding that his father is not all there, and that's heartbreaking for her son too.

I wouldn't have explained that to the ex, now he knows you're looking to serve him. All I can think to do would be to meet him at McDs with a process server in tow. It would be nice if you could get someone on the cheap to do that, like a friend, a friend's kid (over 18) that's looking to make fast money. I'd offer $50. I wish I lived near you, I'd do it for free to help you and your kids move forward. If he can't be served, I guess he's going to have to forfeit having the kids, which isn't a bad thing. If he calls to b!tch you out about it, don't answer, let him text, where you can ask where the support is and save those texts. Tell him to take you to court. He's not going to do that.

It's hard to explain to the kids why they can't see him without ripping him down, so all I can think to do is block him every way you can thru texting and caller I.D. If he wants to stay in your life in order to harass you, he's gonna have to pony up support and go to court for a formal agreement. I wouldn't let him have the kids anymore, there is no agreement, right? Also, I'd lay down the law to the kids about disrespecting you. You're the mother, you're their caregiver. Punishment is the order of the day.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 87
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/23/2018 3:10:25 PM

He said then I'll just have to explain to the kids why they can't see their dad.


Julystorm, Yes, please do tell, explain to ..............your children why they can't see their father.

Such as, "Kids I need to talk with you for a few minutes. As your mother, I love you very much and sometimes I have to make choices, make decisions that to you, just may not seem fair. It is my duty to provide for you AND to keep you safe, away from harm......................................

Children understand a lot more than we give them credit for.
My children grew up, not seeing their father. They knew it was HIS choice, HIS decision to stay away. He did have visitation rights, although limited visitation rights.
To this day they have nothing to do with their father. I did not bad mouth him. They read the divorce documents. They thanked me for taking a stand for them, protecting them.
Do what is right for your children.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 88
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/23/2018 3:22:52 PM

NG, now that you brought it up, what's with men wanting to double team a woman? It sounds a little bi to me.

Although I imagine Bi guys would have Zero uncomfortability with it, compared to many straight guys by default having at least some uncomfortability with it... no. MFM (not MMF) is 100% straight action.

Just seeing another guy plug away at a chick would be odd, even just watching in person 2 feet away (popcorn included). Being comfortable with That, no, doesn't mean your Bi. And being comfortable with that, you're only 1 step from not being uncomfortable pulling down your own trousers with a guy in the room while a gal nibbles on your bits.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 89
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/23/2018 8:56:53 PM
NG, I'm glad you cleared that up for me☺

LIR, I would think he'll eventually end up with some visitation rights when she takes him to court. The good part is that it will limit his rights. He can't run off with them, unless he wants to trigger an Amber Alert.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 90
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 3/24/2018 5:11:16 AM
Lir 87

To this day they have nothing to do with their father. I did not bad mouth him. They read the divorce documents. They thanked me for taking a stand for them, protecting them.

I have never bad mouthed my ex in front of my children either. Now my ex is a devote christian, supposedly, since she cheated on me and they almost never speak about her to me. However if they should ever overly praise her in front me I'll ask them, "Would you like to see how many lies your mother told during our divorce? I can show you our divorce booklet." One would be wickedly apparent to them. It would only be a threat to shut them up mind you. They never need to see that book. They don't need to know their belief that their mother is devoutly christian is just an illusion.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 91
What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 5/24/2018 5:20:22 PM

What is the hardest part of divorce?


Finding a good place to hide the body..
 OKgeo
Joined: 5/22/2018
Msg: 92
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 7/21/2018 7:04:58 PM
I've lost a lot in life, many times....failed a bunch, but I can truly say that I don't know if I could have the strength for a divorce--quitiing is not in my vocabulary, and under it all, I believe marriage is forever--I'm to scared to fail God in that too, I've already failed Him in so many other things, but in my mind, marriage is the most sacred of all things in this world. I can't fathom getting past a divorce and my heart goes out to those who have the strength to go on afterwards--very brave. I think I lack that inner strength and am a wuss.
 OKgeo
Joined: 5/22/2018
Msg: 93
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What is the hardest part of divorce?
Posted: 7/22/2018 2:36:26 PM
When you make a vow, you stick by it. That's what I believe. A wedding vow does mean forever to me. And from all the posts here from people thinking it's ok to not think in turns of forever, well...that is why I shy away from marriage. Few people take the time in life to actually consider the impact their words make in somebody's life. A vow is and should be everything--that is what I live by...but I understand that I can't control other people and what they do around me. But that is just my view--probably unrealistic, but I am a dreamer and like that side of me.
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