Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 76
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
No, bankruptcy is not an option. Did that once when I lost my trucking job. That'll be complete next year sometime. I just need about 3 years or less and I'll have my own place again.

These "insecurities" you all talk about are more like societal expectations than anything. I don't mind living with my folks; however, I don't want to be too comfortable living there that I don't want to leave. Trust me, I want my own place to live my life under my rules. I just don't make enough money to pay off the debts sooner.

Until I meet my goals, I guess my dating life will take a back seat. I'm not having much luck anyways.
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 77
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/12/2017 11:34:04 PM
"Romance without finance is a nuisance".
You need to be like... um... the Jews.
The five jar system. You need to micromanage your money and start saving every penny you can. You MUST get driven man. You will get ANYTHING you want, IF you want it bad enough.? You need a higher paying job and gotta figure out how to do that. Or, just chill, kill off your debts as best you can, and put dating on the back burner. Its like... looking for the converter. Ya can never find it when youre looking for it, but It'll pop up when you were looking for something else or doing something.

Good luck with everything, and when it comes to your thread here? Just absorb whats useful..to YOU.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 78
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/26/2017 11:30:22 AM

Until I meet my goals, I guess my dating life will take a back seat. I'm not having much luck anyways.


Don't give up on dating. You'll learn that A LOT of the girls who expect you to have your own home (you're not even allowed to have roommates with half of them), live at home with their parents themselves. Something you have to understand when it comes to online dating that hot girl that all these guys are talking to, that you know she gets attention offline, there's a reason she's single and can't seem to meet a decent guy. NOBODY on these sites are "god's gift" to dating. Nobody on here is an example of social perfection.

Be happy these girls won't talk to you. Medical bills are a reality of life. If you didn't have them and had your own apartment, what's their plan for 30 years from now when those bills tend to be even more expensive?

You're doing the responsible thing by cutting your living costs as much as you can. If these girls can't understand that, and can't look past it, they're not someone that you ever want to be codependent on for living costs. Their ego, and that image, is more important to them than getting bills paid and staying out of debt.

For money to speed it up, is there any way to get back into trucking? Guessing it might be a medical reason you lost your job, but maybe you can get an exemption and work for a local company.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 79
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/27/2017 3:31:46 PM

I don't get the big deal out of kids living with their parents for a legitimate
reason. I don't think you should live at home like you're 10 with mom doing
your laundry and not adding any funds to household expenses.


My parents made a deal with me. I didn't have to pay rent provided that I finished college. I held up my end of the deal. I remained at my parents during my early-mid 20s while saving up to buy a house. However I did contribute by doing laundry and other household chores.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 80
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/29/2017 9:55:51 PM

For money to speed it up, is there any way to get back into trucking? Guessing it might be a medical reason you lost your job, but maybe you can get an exemption and work for a local company.


Yes, there is. DOT has a waiver program. I initiated this and was granted the waiver. However, I had started my now current job before the waiver was granted. Additionally, there are a lot more rules to follow and finding a trucking company willing to work with me would be extremely difficult. Plus, the lack of proper exercise doesn't help. Trust me, I did a TON of research. I get way more exercise at my current job which helps a ton. If I could wave a magic wand, I would make my diabetes disappear forever. I couldn't even join the Navy because of it.

My folks repeatedly tell me that they have no problem with me living with them as long as I help out in some way. I do my own laundry, I shop for my own food, I help with chores and mow the lawn when I get a chance. I even help pay some of the utilities. As I said before, I am not mooching or bumming off my parents.

I am not ashamed of where I am at in life. Could things be better? Certainly! It's better than living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 81
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/29/2017 9:57:27 PM

You need to be like... um... the Jews.


Funny you say that, because I am part Jew!
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 82
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/29/2017 11:11:42 PM

You need to be like... um... the Jews.


Anti-Semitism raises it's ugly head here.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 83
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 4/30/2017 2:12:27 PM

Don't give up on dating. You'll learn that A LOT of the girls who expect you to have your own home (you're not even allowed to have roommates with half of them), live at home with their parents themselves.

I disagree. He should shelve that as any option he's putting any time in hunting, until he gets back on his feet. Otherwise, it'll frustrate him and he'll be sour about it in general, his esteem will go down, etc. Doesn't mean avoid dating if it comes to you -- or the occasional "what the hell" moments a couple times a year of writing some gals online not expecting anything. But basically, shelve it as a thing-to-do if your temporary situation's just going to shoot you down, while ya have an understandably bad esteem problem about it in the current time.
 MidWestAussie
Joined: 4/29/2017
Msg: 84
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/3/2017 8:06:02 AM

living with my parents.


Well you can take solace that even if you DO have a house, dating isn't much more successful. Remember the 80/20 rule, so that unless you're in that top 20% of men... just go MGTOW and get over it.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 85
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/3/2017 1:17:21 PM

Well you can take solace that even if you DO have a house, dating isn't much more successful.


I'm living proof of THAT in the current dating climate.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 86
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/8/2017 4:56:21 PM
^^^^I'll second that. Right now, I'm asking myself- Newer scoot, or dating.

Newer scoot is winning.
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 87
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/10/2017 8:30:11 PM
Well OP, I'm going to be a bit harsher than my fellow forumites...because, well, that's how I am!


First off, you need to do a profile review...you say too much in some areas and all your pictures have you making a face like you just sharted.

Being an adult gamer isn't going to help here...better hit the gamer forums or leave that tidbit out.

Now, you mention what you do in your free time...well the hard truth is that you shouldn't HAVE any free time! Work multiple jobs until you get yourself set back up!

Something fishy about losing an apartment after only one week in hospital.

Medical bills can't add interest or go to collections as long as you are regularly making payments. I hat a surgery (Umbilical hernia mesh) I had six or seven different payments going. I offered each a small monthly sum on automatic payments. As soon as one paid off I applied that payment to the next smallest sum until they were all paid off. BTW...I was working as a truck driver at the time. I had to run groceries Down a ramp with a dolly all night, 18-30 stops and 30-50,000 pounds of product! I was back at work 10 days after the surgery despite the suggestion that I be off for six weeks.

Back in 2008 I lost everything....I sold off everything I had, tools, guns, all my toys and worked three jobs until I got back on my feet...it took a little over six years of that. No extras...NOTHING! Not even a can of soda! Only the essentials...DISCIPLINE! Sorry but the bike has to go! I went an entire year riding a bicycle to work. One job was 12.25 miles away three nights per week. I'd get home at 4AM and be up at the day job at 8AM. I was in my forties at the time so you should have no problem doing the same if you really want to.

Everyone experiences some misfortune....it's how you man up that will make the difference...



You don't have time or money to date pal. Get yourself together then come back and cast your line.

I could keep going, but I suspect you are going to ignore and excuse everything away. That's because your parents coddle you and you are soft...so I'm not going to waste anymore time...besides, I'm almost out of ellipses!

FWIW, it's PAST...not passed.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 88
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 2:32:51 AM

FWIW, it's PAST...not passed.

FYI, "past" relates to anything happening before the present. Replace "passed" with "beyond" and you'll understand my title better.


First off, you need to do a profile review...you say too much in some areas

I already had one done a while back. I rather say too much than say "Just ask!". As you can tell from this post, I can't keep anything short.


Sorry but the bike has to go!

Actually, it can't. It saves me gas money during the riding season over driving my 30 year truck everyday. Plus, if I need to repair the truck, the bike is my backup ride. The cost of a newer vehicle supersedes the total cost of the truck and bike. I can do my own work on both and save money.

{quote]BTW...I was working as a truck driver at the time. I had to run groceries Down a ramp with a dolly all night, 18-30 stops and 30-50,000 pounds of product!
When did you find time to drive the truck if your were running down a ramp all the time? Glad I worked for a better company! I never had to unload my vans. In fact, before I lost my trucking job, I was on the company's shuttle run. 2500 to 2700 miles a week shuttling trailers between to check points. for 6 days on and 2 days off.


I could keep going, but I suspect you are going to ignore and excuse everything away. That's because your parents coddle you and you are soft...so I'm not going to waste anymore time...besides, I'm almost out of ellipses!

Then why bother posting if only to defeat the purpose of posting? Sounds paradoxical to me.


That's because your parents coddle you and you are soft.

Maybe I simply have better parents than most? Or, maybe they don't want me living on the street. And no, they do not coddle me. If they did, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Maybe you didn't read all my posts, but all my folks are doing is providing a roof over my head. I'm paying rent as I stay here. I cook my own food (unless Dad wants to grill some meat), I do my own laundry, I mow the lawn, I clean my bathroom, I vacuum when needed, etc. It's not like I sit on my ass all the time. So, don't make me out as a bum or a moocher. I am none of those things. I maybe more laid back and casual than other guys, but I am not soft.


Now, you mention what you do in your free time...well the hard truth is that you shouldn't HAVE any free time! Work multiple jobs until you get yourself set back up!

Although I have contemplated getting another job, it's probably not going to happen. My current job has unpredictable hours as is. One week, I might get off on time during my 4 regular days, then all of a sudden have to put in a full shift Friday and Saturday. Other times, this may not happen. How is another employer supposed to tolerate that? Printing industry is unpredictable. I may go weeks and not see any over time. Or, I may go weeks with 15+ hours of overtime.


Something fishy about losing an apartment after only one week in hospital.

Yeah, it's called barely making enough money to survive from check to check. You have no idea how much the body changes after dealing with a near comatose diabetic ketone acidosis. I also developed a bad staph infection which caused my lower legs and feet to balloon. After getting that resolved, my feet are in pain most days. Standing on them for 9+ hours a day on concrete does not make them feel any better.

So, ya, I made a bunch of excuses for you to mull over. Have a nice day!
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 89
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 2:35:55 AM
jco...


and all your pictures have you making a face like you just sharted.

At least I don't have a picture with an animal wincing from the owners bad breath!
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 90
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 4:41:17 AM
Uh oh its on!
The brother of Bubbles...
vs the son of Bundy!
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 91
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 12:46:37 PM
Excuses, excuses, whaaa, whaaa, whaaa! ...Just as I predicted.


You're soft and want everything handed to you....man up or accept that not many women want to take care of a man-child!



PS you don't know grammar...
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 92
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 2:08:09 PM
Here you go proper term and your refusal to accept your wrong is a huge problem to start with. Admit your mistake not look like a fool. But since you are so inclined to think "see passed" is correct go back to school it failed you.

Here's the link http://www.grammar-monster.com/easily_confused/past_passed.htm
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 93
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 2:40:51 PM
You can't change anything as expected. You can't afford to live on your own but you can afford a new leather jacket and dating?


Um, okay...stay comfy in mommy and daddy's house, go to your low paying job, do your chores and you'll be fine!
Just don't expect many women see past your PRESENT.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 94
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 4:16:16 PM
Man, gotta love all the arm chair know-it-alls. I am a lot more grown up then you all believe I am. You all have it in your head that I am an invalid because of my living situation. Typical societal discrimination. All your "harsh advice" is unicorn farts.

Good day
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 95
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 5:27:02 PM
Says the guy who asked for advice and complains who cant get a woman because of a living situation? Making excuses is what guys like do and blame society for you lives rather than being a "man" and take responsibility for your actions or lack there of.

Think before you speak I was 31 living in my sisters basement with 2 kids not only did I get dates, have sex and women came to pick me up to do it with. They offered to help do my laundry at laundry mats, offered to help go grocery shopping, come to parks and meet me there with my kids, they did loads of stuff with me they never once used my situation as a problem because I didn't use it as one. My residence was just a temporary situation that I needed at the time 2 years later my own place with kids.

You want to be that little baby who can even be his own man create excuses you are your own worst enemy and rather accept advice you ignore it and complain more. Guess what you rather not learn and improve yourself own who you are live in the bed you make you will always think of other things to complain about cause that is really who you are. I know what I am talking about because I have suffered the experience well minus lack of women cause I am my own man and own who I am.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 96
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 5:45:55 PM
Oh good, more unicorn farts...

Since when does asking for advice become public humiliation? At this point, this is what this thread has become. A small group of self-righteous bullies can't help but pick on someone "lower" than them. Maybe you need to grow up, look in the mirror and deal with it.

I know what I need to do and what goals to achieve. Still, I shouldn't be denied from building a relationship. How do you think those who lived through the Great Depression kept their relationships together? I'll deal with it in my own way that works best for me, not you. We all have our own lives to live. Sadly, some can't help but impose theirs on others. I have only illustrated a fraction of my life and you armchair bandits think you have the answers to life's questions.

Good day
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 97
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 6:32:38 PM

Since when does asking for advice become public humiliation? At this point, this is what this thread has become. A small group of self-righteous bullies can't help but pick on someone "lower" than them. Maybe you need to grow up, look in the mirror and deal with it.


Well...it's only public humiliation if you refuse to buck up and see that it's actually real working advice from people who have been there!
You need a bit of tough love, but like most snowflakes, you can't handle it.

Like I said, I got rid of all the toys...EVERYTHING! I put my nose to the grindstone for six years plus getting out from under my downfall. Others have done it too....but it takes real effort! Buying games and leather jackets tells me you don't really want to be your own man. You only work one low paying 40 hour a week job? Heck I've worked 100 hour weeks on end. I went a two year period with absolutely no days off...If I only had one job on a particular day it felt like a vacation.

You complain your feet hurt? well sonny, I worked two full time standing jobs while battling chronic gout for six months until I got it under control! You wanna know what THAT feels like?

I know people like you. They complain about having no money but they get tattoos, the latest tech toys and eat out all the time....all the latest swag and what not. It's all decisions...and FWIW your parents are partially to blame because they coddled you and never let you learn to be a man.



You're a child, you act like one and you live like one...so find a mommy to take care of you.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 98
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 6:52:22 PM
Jco, if you know me so well, then why do I have a 30 year old chevy tuck and a 5 year old Kawasaki cruiser? Because I get the best stuff, ffs... That leather jacket I have is made in China. My home pc is going on 7 years old. Nothing I have is top shelf. Do you think I would have ridden a greyhound bus from Wichita to Memphis for trucker school if I was too immature, I don't think so.

Quit pretending to know who I am. I am none of the things you claim I am. Plus, my folks are more like roommates than anything. Grow up...
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 99
view profile
History
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 6:54:24 PM
So far, the only thing I've felt I've done wrong is ask for advice.
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 100
How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?
Posted: 5/11/2017 7:20:31 PM
You're missing the point! BUYING any extras should be out until you have your finances under control.

You say trucking doesn't give you exercise? BS! find a local truck delivery job delivering groceries...there's McLane. US Foods, Sysco, MBM and others...ALL of them constantly hire. Heck the whole trucking industry is in need of drivers...take your pick.

And YES, I DO know you....it's so easy to...you tell much more than you know about yourself with your excuses and whining.

You don't really need either vehicle....ride a bike, take the bus or walk! Heck I've seen stories of people walking great distances to their jobs daily...fact is....you're lazy, weak and soft. THAT is the problem here, not the women who won't date you, not the people offering real advice...YOU, you are the problem.

Just admit you are comfortable at mommy and daddy's house, you're comfortable in your Kinko's job and you like to lay around and play games. You have no ambition, no drive, no spline and no more excuses.

You say the only thing you've done wrong is ask for advice? No, son the thing you've done wrong is refusing to accept any of that advice!
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > How do I get women to see passed my current living situation?